A Long Few Years
by halfthetruth
Summary: 5th Year. That's when things started to change. And by things, I mean everything. The line between friends and enemies blurred. Secrets were unravelled. And war... war was on the horizon.
1. Chapter 1

The year was 1975.  
September 1st, 1975.  
There was a sweet smelling autumn breeze.  
Slightly chilly. Just cold enough so you knew summer was over.  
A train was about to leave the station.  
No ordinary station.  
Nor was it filled with ordinary people.  
These people bustled and shouted from outside the windows.  
You could see the loved ones who were staying behind with tears on their faces.  
Or the people who arrived last minute and were trying to get on the train before the clock struck 11.  
So many faces of joy.  
And of wonder.  
And hope.  
Although less hope than usual.  
Most people were already in their compartments.  
The rest were searching for where their friends were.  
One particular girl was already seated.  
She had dark red hair. Soft, beautiful curls.  
Her head leaning against the window pane.  
She had bright green eyes.  
She stared out at the bustling platform.  
Completely, blissfully unaware of the hellish future that awaited her.  
So was another boy.  
He had jet-black hair. It stuck up in every direction.  
A boy who would meet the same fate.  
He had warm hazel eyes.  
She never would have predicted her fate would be tied together with him.  
But it was.  
And history would be counting on it. 


	2. Chapter 2

~Lily~ The Beginning of a Long Few Years

"Prongs!" a shout rang out from the corridor. Sirius Black's uncannily loud voice was easily identifiable, especially to Lily, who had spent the past 5 years in the same house as him. The mighty house of Godric Gryffindor, that is.

"What kind of act is this, Padfoot. Don't pretend like you didn't see me just last week," James Potter said with a laugh. As the two boys passed by her compartment James spotted Lily and knocked on the door with a wide grin. Lily saw his shiny Quidditch Captain badge proudly pinned onto his robes. And she internally groaned, Quidditch Captains have almost equal status as Prefects do. That's what she was, a Prefect.

"Hey Evans," said James as he swung the door open. She frowned at the sight of him and his crooked grin.

"Honestly, why do you even bother knocking if you always just barge in?" Lily responded hastily, but her comments did nothing to deter him.

"Well unlike Padfoot here, you must actually be dying to see me. It's been what? A whole three whole months," James retorted, his signature smirk never wavering. Sirius rolled his eyes at James. As Lily opened her mouth to reply, two people walked up.

"Moony!" "Marlene!" James and Lily shouted at the same time. Lily hugged the blonde as the three boys talked.

"You mind if we sit with you, Lily?" Remus Lupin asked. His sandy blond hair was neatly parted and his tired blue eyes shone as prominently as ever. Before Lily has a moment to respond, Marlene said, "Not at all!"

The blonde shot Lily an apologetic look, but honestly she didn't seem very sorry. Lily knew her friend fancied Sirius, but it wasn't worth it to Lily. But she didn't have a choice but to share a compartment with the three boys. Not that she had an issue with Remus, but she definitely did with James and Sirius. She scowled at her rival who plopped into the seat beside her.

"So, Evans, how was your summer?" James asked, scooting closer. He seemed almost genuinely interested, but Lily wanted nothing to do with him. She figured he was playing some elaborate scheme to prank her. She had been the subject of one too many pranks to be so trusting. She fought back the urge to scoot as far away from him as possible. Her three month break from being in his presence was apparantly not long enough.

"It was fine, but I really should be getting to the Prefect's cart. I don't want to be late," Lily turned to Remus, "I do assume you are the male Prefect, yeah?" Remus nodded guiltily and Sirius frowned. Remus fiddled with his Prefect's badge after fishing it out of one of his pockets. Shame seemed to be etched on his face, an odd reaction to the prestigious title.

"Where is Wormtail anyway?" Sirius asked the group as Lily and Remus left the compartment.

"No idea, but I reckon he'll show up soon enough," James responded as the door slammed closed. Remus seemed less tired and ragged then usual. Perhaps summer holiday took some of his stress away. Either way, it probably helped that he had got new robes to replace his old ones that had been patched up and frayed at the seams. Although his worry lines were still way more prominent than any fifteen year old should have.

"I really am glad it's you and not any of the others, Remus. At least you can be responsible." Lily told him. She meant it as reassuring, but she wasn't sure he agreed. Remus stayed quiet as they make their way to the front end of the train. After many moments of silence Lily finally said, "I hope you know that being a Prefect is a good thing. Don't let them convince you otherwise."

"Thanks Lily, but I'm not sure 'The Marauders' really see it that way. Prefects kind of go against everything we do." Remus went on.

"You can't be a prankster forever," Lily informed him, but she doesn't know how wrong she was, not yet at least.

"You know, he isn't as bad as you think," Remus told her.

"Hmm?" Lily said distracted.

"James. He's a good bloke. And I know he can be a bit confident, but he has a good heart," said the Prefect.

"Confident is putting it lightly," Lily huffed and kept walking. There was a big difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence was silent. Arrogance was loud. And James Potter was by no doubt loud. Besides, she didn't need to hear about James' good heart from another person. It was common knowledge that James and Lily don't get along. But this year seemed to be off to a different start. James for one, seemed to have forgot their past disputes. Lily, on the other hand, definitely hadn't. How could you forget the misdeeds of your tormentor? Not that Lily was the nicest to James either, but she'd only when protecting herself or someone else. And always with her words before her wand. James had a very different approach.

Remus grabbed her wrist and stopped her in the hall. "Promise me you'll give him a chance," Remus pleaded.

"I can't," Lily choked out. No one but Severus understood why she couldn't give James a chance, "He's a bully."

"I hope you change your mind. Things are changing out there and we need people like James. People on our side," Remus said, looking out the window of the moving train. His voice was ominous. He dropped her wrist. There was something about him that was different then anyone she's ever met, not bad just different. Lily stared at him trying to figure out what sort of secrets he hid, but Remus began walking into the Prefect's cart without her.

"I am Edgar Bones, Head Boy of the Hogwarts class of 1976, and I will be running this meeting along with my female counterpart, Millie Thompson. First order of business: You all will follow each and every rule...meticulously. I will not be forgiving of slip-ups. You all are examples for the younger students and you need to show it. You must, therefore, enforce the rules and punish those who do not comply. You are forbidden from showing favouritism with taking points from your aquaintances or people from certain Houses or of certain blood statuses. Also, you cannot switch your patrolling partners." Edgar said. He has a rather stern look to him, his shoulders too rigid and his back too straight. Each hair on his head was in place and he was clean shaven. He carried himself in a pompous sort of manner. Not arrogant like James, but definitely dignified and austere. Millie on the other hand seemed more relaxed with her long flowing brown hair and her no care attitude. She didn't say much but a lot of eye rolling was present as Edgar spoke. Lily recognised her as one of the Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Lily missed the second half of his speech as she observed the Head Students.

"Prefects you can now go and patrol the halls. Don't forget to lead the first years to the Common Room after Sorting," Edgar added rather tightly. Lily was pretty sure he was a Ravenclaw and she couldn't remember if he was a Pureblood or a Halfblood. "We'll have another meeting tomorrow night and I'll give you the patrolling timetables." Lily and Remus left the compartment together, but Remus sped up back towards the back of the train.

"Where are you off too?" Lily asked. Remus turned to her, perplexed.

"Back to our compartment," Remus replied as if it was obvious. His eyebrows dipped, waiting for her response.

"We have to patrol the corridors, didn't you hear Edgar. We can't afford to slack off this year. It's OWL's," Lily said.

"Lily, I appreciate what you said before and I am honoured to be a Prefect, but that guy was up his bum." Remus said in a tone she had never heard. It made Lily want to laugh, but she forced it back down and settled for a smile.

"I'll make you a deal," Remus went on, "We will patrol the corridors for a half hour, then go back to our friends."

"Alright," Lily said smiling. She didn't correct the fact that they did not share friends. Lily didn't think she could ever be friends with the likes of James Potter and Sirius Black. Remus was already her friend and Peter she had no qualms about, but the other two she could never envision herself befriending. As they patrolled, they talked about their summers. Remus had spent the majority of it between his Muggle grandparent's home in Surrey and his regular home. He didn't do much anything exciting unless James and Sirius were dragging him places. Lily spent her summer at her home in Cokeworth, trying and failing not to argue with her older sister, Petunia. She saw Marlene and Mary only a few times, because Marlene had gone on a trip to America and her other friends were busy doing different things. So mostly she hung out with Severus. They met up almost everyday beneath an oak tree by the river. It was basically tradition. And Lily loved it.

"Do you want to head back now?" Remus asked gently. Lily nodded and the two of them headed back to their compartment.

"Oi, there they are," James shouted, pointing at them. Lily sighed as the boy peppered Remus with questions.

"No, I don't think that being a Prefect will be all too bad, but the Head Boy is an insufferable git. That is a lot coming from me," Remus joked. His friends seemed pleased with that. Lily went over and said hello to Mary MacDonald, another one of her friends and dormmate.

"Yeah, you can get us out of detention!" James said high-fiving Sirius.

"Honestly mate, where is Peter?" Sirius asked again, but this time he looked concerned. "It's not like him to be this late." Remus shrugged and looked to where James stared into the hall where two Slytherins stood. James jumped from the compartment and into the hall. They all had their backs turned, but Lily knew who one was right away: Severus Snape. Lily leapt up from her chair and followed him.

"Sev," Lily cried out as he shouted a hex. He turned in dismay and his hex didn't work. Peter Pettigrew was a mousy looking boy with watered down features, like a photo copied too many times. He was the odd one out in the infamous group of Marauders. While James, Sirius, and Remus were taller, stronger, handsomer even, Peter was bland. He was underestimated, in Lily's opinion. Seen as weak and foolish, Peter based his identidy off of his friendships.

Peter weaseled his way over to James and Lily. But James had no interest in standing back, he marched straight up to Severus and Mulciber, with his wand pointing threateningly at them. This is what Lily meant by James' approach. Hex first, think later. Although Lily highly doubted that James spent much time thinking about the affects of his actions.

"You greasy haired prat! We've been on the train not even an hour and you've already targeted Peter. Honestly Snivvy, even I have some standards," James said, his voice dripping with condescension.

"That's a lie, Potter," Lily said before she could stop herself. James whirled around, looking hurt for a moment then he scowled. It almost made her feel bad, but she wouldn't let him know that.

"Who's side are you on, Evans? Snivellus'?" James said with a callous laugh. By then Sirius had matched up with Mulciber and Remus had taken behind them.

"I'm not here choosing sides like a child. I am simply saying that you hex people left and right during school. That's not counting your pranks." Lily told him. A smile bloomed across Severus' face.

"How does it feel to know that not everybody likes you, Potter?" Severus said coolly to James. Severus' smile was just as unnerving as James' anger. Suddenly Lily found herself no longer wanting to defend anyone at all.

"You know you're right, Evans, I should hex him like I hex everyone else. Cantis," James points his wand at Severus. The spell making him sing him uncontrollably, it was strange seeing Severus burst into song. It made the corners of her mouth twinge as if to form a smile, but Lily couldn't let herself join in laughing with the Marauders. She just couldn't.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Potter," Lily said angrily. Even though he used a silly spell, it didn't mean he could get away with it.

"Get off your high broom, Evans. What do you think you are doing, taking points from your own house? You've been a Prefect for an hour!" James shouted in surprise. Lily hadn't realized how much James had grown over the summer, he now towered over her.

"Prefects can't choose favourites," Lily said matter-of-factly and crossed her arms. "And even if they could, you certainly wouldn't make the list."

"Really! Well Snivellus apparantly made your little list, since him and his Death Eater mates were hexing Peter. Tell me, Miss Prefect, how they don't get any points taken away. Tell me how that's fair, Evans." James ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even further. Lily couldn't think of a good response, because as arrogant and smug as Potter was he still wasn't completely dim-witted.

"Fine," Lily spat out, "Ten points from each of you," She turned to Severus and Mulciber.

"You'll get what's coming to you, Mudblood," Mulciber spat as he pushed by Lily. Lily's face flushed and Sirius sent a Body-Binding curse at the Slytherin. James rushed to Lily's side who already went back into the compartment, forgetting every ounce of anger he had just displayed to her, and attempted comforting her.

"Evans, I'm sorry about them. He's a-" James began.

"Get out," she said, "and take your stupid friends with you." He looked like a wounded puppy, but he still didn't put up a fight. He left quietly and her friends rushed back inside to her. This was going to be a long few years, she thought to herself.

~James~ Wearing Hearts on their Sleeves

"Many many years ago

When I was young and new

two wizards and two witches

were not unlike you.

They wanted nothing more

than to give kids education.

So these talented four

Built Hogwarts into creation.

Sorting students is the service I provide;

keep them divided for 7 years of life,

since the Founders were not unified

And this caused much strife.

Godric took only the chivalrous,

who wore their hearts on their sleeves.

Salazar with the cunning,

they think the end justifies the means.

Rowena had all the intellects

They would think before they act.

Helga took those who always protect

The ones whose morals were intact.

And for quite a bit of time

all was going well.

But the four founders had different views

about the purpose of magic and spells.

Gryffindor thought that it was a weapon

to defend and protect all the others;

Slytherin thought it was a treasure

that no one else should discover;

Ravenclaw said that magic was like art

It must be studied and perfected;

Hufflepuff thought it was a gift

That everyone shall get it;

The friends fought one another

Their differences were not minuscule

So the four turned to three

when Salazar left the school;

Now I am only left

Each year I split and I divide;

Each year I worry and wonder

If that is even right;

But I do my duty

I sing my song

I sort you into houses

Although Hogwarts is less strong;

I hope by hearing this tale

You'll help Hogwarts unite

But if history repeats itself

We'll surely lose the fight

Because the school is in danger

A war is coming soon

Our foes have banded together

So do heed to this tune."

Everyone listened to the Sorting Hat's song in awe. It had always just sung about the houses, but this sounded more like a warning than anything else. And it definitely put a damper on the feast. To help lighten the mood a bit, the Marauders decided to pull a beginning of term prank. They made all the floating candles above them burn red and gold for Gryffindor and they arranged them into the shape of a roaring lion with the sound and all. He wasn't sure how Lily wasn't impressed with it, it took them the whole train ride to prepare it. And of course she was already mad at him, which wasn't really his fault. It was more Snape's fault for being such a git.

Anyways, Lily had become even more gorgeous this year. She had always been pretty, but this year she is drop dead beautiful. Prettiest girl in our year by far, James thought. He knew that Lily could care less about how she looked but between her lush dark red locks and vibrant green eyes there was no competition. Not if James was the judge anyways.

"Merlin Padfoot, slow down." Remus scolded as Sirius shovelled spoonful after spoonful of food into his mouth.

"Hm?" Sirius replied with a mouthful of food. Peter and Remus burst into laughter, but James was distracted. He had been like that since Lily kicked him out and Lily wasn't ready to forgive him. Although they had never got along per se, so he should've expected it to be the same as every other year.

"Cheer up, Prongsy. The prank went great, McGonagall couldn't even pin it on us. It was a close one though, my wand got caught on my robes and I couldn't get it hidden quick enough," Sirius said clapping his friend on the back, but James wasn't listening. He was too distracted by a certain Gryffindor's dark red hair. He watched Lily look over to James. Her face beamed with a bright smile. Her even white smile that made her eyes crinkle. James never was on the recieving end of one of those smiles. He practically spit out his drink as he tried to grin back at her. His pumpkin juice did dribble down his chin and Lily noticed. Her eyes shifted over slightly and she squinted at him, before returning to her conversation. That's when he realized she hadn't been smiling, her wonderful smile, at him at all. But to Remus instead, who was sitting beside James, and instantly his bad mood returned. This time however it increased, especially as Sirius smirked at him and the Pumpkin Juice on his chin. He hastily brought his sleeve to his chin and scowled.

"I'm going back to the Common Room," James announced to his friends, shaking himself out of it. He was James Potter after all, he couldn't be staring at her all day so pathetically.

"Want us to come with ya?" Peter asked squeakily. James, Sirius, and Remus had all grown that year, but Peter hadn't. Leaving him shorter than ever and more vulnerable, James thought. He needed to keep a better eye on Peter this year.

"Nah, I'll see you later," James announced.

He stood up and walked up to the 7th floor. Completely lost in his thoughts that drifted through his head. He reached the Fat Lady when a voice called out behind him.

"James, James wait up!" a girl's voice called out. For a moment James thought it was Lily and his heart leapt. He whipped around only to see Delia Forester coming towards him. She was a fifth year, same as James, except in Ravenclaw. She was a very pretty girl with dark brown hair in ringlets, deep brown eyes, and skin the colour of ebony. She played for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team too.

"Hey Delia," James said softly.

"How was your summer?" Delia asked.

"Good and you?" James said politely, but he honestly just wanted to get the conversation over with.

"Alright. Did you hear about the new Minister of Magic?" James practically sighed. Everyone had heard about the new Minister of Magic, Harold Minchum. Everyone was hoping he'd be more capable of handling Death Eaters and such. Or better at handling than his predesecor. But James wasn't in the mood for small talk or much any talking at the moment.

"Yeah, Minchum. But, um, is there something I could do for you, not to be rude or anything, I'm just not feeling so well," James said.

"Oh sorry, I was just... well I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go to Hogsmeade together sometime?" Delia rambled and James flushed. James was used to girls chasing after him, but he never was very comfortable with it. Sirius on the other hand thrived in these situations, and James wished it was Sirius that Delia was going after instead of him. James could be smooth when he wanted, but not when he was caught off guard like this. He was a horrible liar. Sirius, on the other hand, always knew exactly what to say. From insult, to retort, to being a charming flirt, Sirius was quite persuasive.

"Oh er- well I'm not sure. I'm Quidditch Captain this year so I have a lot to figure out and y'know it's OWL's," James dragged on. It was his first day back and Delia already asked him to Hogsmeade. She was quite tactless, even more so than him.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course, feel better James," Delia said with a cheery wave. He was glad she wasn't mad at him. He knew a lot of girls would've been rather angry and thankfully Delia was different. James gave her a brief wave before running his hand through his hair and entering the empty Common Room. He crashed onto a chair and suddenly Sirius burst through the doors.

"What's the matter, Prongs?" Sirius said. James recounted what happened with Lily and then Delia.

"Oi Delia Forester has the hots for you, and you said no! I think you've had one too many Bludgers to the head," Sirius said with a laugh.

"Isn't it your job to protect me from those Bludgers?" James smirked.

"Very funny Prongs. But still why'd you turn her down!?"

"Don't you think she's rather dim?" James pointed out. He didn't really think she was dumb, but he needed a better reason than him being besotted with his RIVAL of all people. "Never mind, you've had a string of girls since third year. And most were dumb as a sack of bricks."

"Shut up," Sirius shot back. Sirius knew that James was kidding, but James usually enjoyed a girl that he could talk to something about. Not just snogging, alhough he did enjoy that very much too.

"Anyway, what do you think about having practice on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 7?" James asked after several moments of silence. Since he had got his letter containing his Captain badge it was all he'd been thinking about. Almost all he'd been thinking about.

"4 times a week!?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Well I want to run things different than Archie did last year. He was way to soft on us. I will make sure we win the Cup this year."

"'Course we'll win it," Sirius reassured his friend, "We are loads better than Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. And I doubt Slytherin will be able to pull through when they are being inducted into the Death Eaters."

"I heard Hufflepuff might be good this year. Someone was saying something about a promising second year on the train," James said worried. He didn't want to let the team down.

"Rubbish! Gryffindor has loads of promising players. You, Marlene, and Millie for the Chasers. Then there's me and Higgins for Beaters. And we need a new Seeker and Keeper I suppose," Sirius told him. "But that's no issue. Archie's little brother wasn't so bad. What was his name again?"

"Lance," James remembered.

"Right, that's it. Lance Stillsap was a decent Seeker last years during trials."

"You're right. And there's plenty of people who'd be a good Keeper," James said thoughtfully.

"When are you holding trials?" Sirius asked.

"Dunno, maybe Friday."

"Earth to Prongs," Sirius said, "Your gonna be a great Captain, alright."

"I just don't want to mess up and let everyone down," James said nervously.

"I reckon you'll be just fine. You've been leading the Marauder's since 1st year," Sirius reassured him.

"That's not true. We're a unit," James told him.

"No, as much as I'd like to take credit for us, they were basically all your ideas. You figured out Remus' furry little problem. You mastered the Homunculus Charm for the Marauder's Map. You thought of the bloody name Marauders. And you were the one who thought of us being Animagi," Sirius said.

"Minnie called us the Marauders. And that's all different though. Marauding is natural," James protested.

"Minnie calls us a lot of things, but you made Marauders our title. And I reckon you're one of the best Chasers that Gryffindor has seen in awhile. Okay?" Sirius said snappily, "Now cheer up and stop making me feed your ego."

"Sound like Evans," James said grinning.

"As if," Sirius laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ The Slug Club

"Miss Evans, dear girl, your Sleeping Draught was excellent today," Professor Slughorn said, "Say, I'm having a party later in my classroom, you should join us." Lily had heard all about Slughorn's parties, but usually it is only for his favourite or well connected 6th and 7th years.

"I'd love to, Professor," Lily said smiling. She knew that Severus would be there. He had told her that his parties were loads of fun.

"Splendid, it begins at 7," Professor Slughorn beamed.

"Thanks loads, Professor," Lily said, grinning ear to ear.

"You'd never guess what Professor Slughorn wanted!" Lily squealed when she got back to the Common Room. Marlene and Mary had already began on their homework.

"Let me see, Slughorn wants you to join the Slug Club." Mary responds scowling.

"What's wrong Mary?" Lily knew her friend must be upset for a reason, it was unlike her to be nasty.

"He only chooses the talented or well known kids," Mary said and Lily began to protest but she continued, "Don't argue, Lily. You're bloody perfect compared to the rest of us," Tears streamed down Mary's face.

"What's going on?" Lily insisted. She turns to Marlene for help, but she just shrugs.

"It's that bl-bloody prat Mulciber. He tried to attack me in the halls when I left the loo. He used Dark Magic, Lils," Mary sobbed.

"What did you do?"

"James and Sirius were coming around the corner and they fought him off. I don't know what I would've done if they weren't there." Mary said. Lily hugged her friend.

"What did he want from you?" Lily inquired.

"He kept saying how I was a filthy mud-mudblood and that this wasn't over," Mary trembled and cried into Lily's shoulder. The girls sat together on the floor, comforting Mary as she cried.

"Don't listen to him, Mary," Marlene said, "He's just jealous of you."

"Of me?"

"Yeah. He's grown up thinking that people like us are frauds. That we don't actually have magic, but we do. And he saw you, being the amazing talented witch you are, and got mad," Lily said.

"I'm hardly talented. I'm not you, Lily," Mary's voice turned bitter.

"Come off it. You're every bit as good as me. Besides, I'm on you're side. There's no need to compare yourself to anyone."

"I guess."

"Hey I know what'll cheer you up!" Marlene said excited. "Let's help Lily get ready for her dinner party!" And for a second Lily rejoiced in seeing Mary's smile. Then the horror set in. Mary and Marlene were getting her ready for a dinner party.

The party didn't seem as important now and she offered to stay back more times than she could count, but they insisted she go. They also insisted she wear a dress too low cut for her liking and heels slightly too high, but that was neither here nor there. When they were finished with her, she arrived at Slughorn's room at 5 to 7. Lily wasn't one to be tardy. The room was full of unfamiliar faces except one.

"Severus!" Lily called out. He was in deep conversation with an older Slytherin boy. Severus turned and his cheeks flushed red and the boy scowled at Severus and stalked off.

"I didn't know you got invited," Severus said. His voice was cold and he spaced his words out as if he chose them carefully. He kept looking over his shoulder to where his friends were.

"Yeah he asked me after class. Well let's go find a seat," Lily said cheerfully. Professor Slughorn went around and introduced all the guests. Apparently Lily and Severus both were only here because they were brilliant at Potions. When they were introduced Lily and Severus shared a sheepish grin. They both knew the only reason they were so good is because they corrected all the potions in Severus' copy of Advanced Potion Making over the summer. Honestly it seemed like all potion makers are incompetent, because not a single recipe was right. So the two of them rewrote one of their textbooks. James would have a fit if he knew about that. She wasn't sure if he'd laugh at her nerdy tendencies or get mad that she hung out with Severus. And at that very moment, as if he knew he had crossed Lily's mind, the bespectacled boy burst through the doors in a hurry, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose.

"Ah, Mr. Potter. How nice of you to join us," Professor Slughorn said with a laugh.

"My father has always said, better late than never, Professor," James replied with a smile.

"Well your father is a smart man and an even better Potioneer, why don't you have a seat?" Professor Slughorn replied.

"Why does Potter have to be here?" Snape muttered angrily. James appeared to not have heard as he took a seat adjacent to Lily's. The past few weeks, past few years more accurately, Lily had been mad at James. But after hearing of his heroics with Mary, Lily decided to at least be friendly seeing as he had been friendly to her as well.

"I heard about what you did, James," Lily said gently. She restrained herself from referring to him as Potter, causing his hazel eyes to find hers and they softened when she said his first name.

"It's what anyone would do, I suppose." Lily was astonished he didn't use it as a chance to talk about himself. It was refreshing and more mature than she thought he could be.

"Still, I appreciate it. It's nice knowing you all have our backs," Lily continued. She thought about what Remus had said about needing people on our side and he was right. James Potter was definitely on the side of Muggleborns.

"Not that you'd need it," James grinned and Lily couldn't help but smile.

"Of course I'd hex you if you suggested otherwise, Potter," Lily joked.

"Oh I'm Potter now, am I?" James said still smirking.

"That's right," Lily told him, "How'd you get in here anyways?"

"My dad," James shrugged. He averted his eyes from hers.

"Oh right he was in Gryffindor, wasn't he?" Lily said lifting an invisible sword in the air, mimicking when they had first met.

"Didn't know you were so cheeky, Evans," James said laughing.

"Someone's got to burst your bubble," Lily told him, "What does your dad do anyways?"

"He made Sleekeazy's Hair Potion," James said mildly embarrassed.

"That's your dad! He was a brilliant potioneer. Didn't he win an award in Potions here?" Lily asked. She thought she remembered seeing his name in the trophy room.

"Yeah, Fleamont Potter. I've had to wash it loads of times in detention," James said.

"Impressive," Lily said dryly.

"For future reference, my favourite place for detention is in the Trophy Room. It's away from prying eyes," James stated.

"For future reference!" Lily said as she almost spat out her drink.

"Yeah. I'm sure you'll be giving me a bunch of detentions this year, Miss perfect Prefect," James said casually. He nudged her with his elbow making her smile.

"The second your toe is over the line, I'll be all over you," Lily said mock-threateningly.

"So you'll be watching me all the time?" James asked.

"Count on it."

"Good to know," James smirked. "Just try not to stare." Lily punched his arm a little more forcefully then she intended.

"I could say the same to you," Lily said sticking her tongue out.

"Real mature," James said mock offended, "First you assaulted a fellow student then belittled him. I have no choice but to make you write lines with me, Miss Evans. Repeat after me: I love James Potter."

"As if," Lily said rolling her eyes. In the corner of her eye she saw Severus pretending not to watch them. He scoffed whenever James made her laugh and sneered whenever they touched. Lily knew that she should be shutting James out or yelling at him, but she was just having too much fun. It felt as natural as their fighting usually did.

~James~

"Goodnight, Lily Evans," James said as she climbed up the staircase to her dormitory. She smiled at him the way she had smiled at Remus the other day and James' heart practically melted.

"Goodnight, James Potter," she replied.

"I had fun, y'know, with you tonight," he said.

"I did too, surprisingly enough. Who would've seen it coming. Us getting along." His heart was basically a puddle on the floor at this point. Never to be the same again. He knew he was in pretty deep at this point. Even if this hardly qualified as a friendship.

"Well sleep tight, Evans."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite, Potter," she said before racing up the stairs. James opened his mouth to call after her, but she was already gone. And James knew he couldn't get up her stairs. But he still wished that he could've had a few moments longer with her. Nevertheless he walked up his own stairs, his thoughts swimming. He swung open his door and saw his three friends sitting around awaiting his return.

"How was the Slug Club, Prongs?" Sirius asked as he popped Chocolate Frog into his mouth.

"Great," James responded in a dreamy voice. He casually flopped into his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Did you and Lily Evans kiss?" Peter said overenthusiastically.

"Me and Evans? Snogging? Why would you think that?" James said, trying to sound as disgusted as possible. Sirius jumped up from his bed and gave him a disbelieving look.

"Well why else did we spend all that time getting you into the Slug Club. We all know you fancy Evans, Prongs. Honestly, I can't say I blame you. If she wasn't so damn infuriating I might've given her a go myself," Sirius proclaimed with a grin. He'd never, would he?

"Do close your mouth, Prongs. Or at least tell us what actually happened," Remus joined in.

"If you nosy gits have to know then I'll tell you. Nothing happened, we talked and hung out without fighting or hating each other," James said, trying to sound indifferent, but he knew his voice and heart betrayed him.

"Bloody hell, that isn't nothing. It's a step up from her wanting to murder you, mate."

"Shut up, Padfoot." James laughed. After a few moments James remembered something. "Hey Moony, when is the next full moon?"

"Day after next," Remus said gravely, suddenly his tired smile faded.

"Lovely, helping James' love life has got quite boring." Sirius paused than said with some thought, "Y'know, I'd bet my life that we are the youngest Animagi ever!"

"Probably due to the fact it's highly illegal to become one under 17," Remus added sarcastically.

"We should go out and celebrate. Let's go visit 3 Broomsticks," James said loudly as if he hadn't heard Remus' comment.

"But it's already 11 o'clock. Innit a bit late for a trip to Hogsmeade?" Peter said quietly.

"Oh c'mon Wormy. I for one think it's a great idea, we never had the chance to properly celebrate over the summer when we mastered it. And I'd love to see Madam Rosmerta again," Sirius exclaimed. The rest of the Marauders sighed, Sirius has been chasing after the pub lady for years.

"C'mon Sirius, she's old enough to be your mum," James told him.

"Maybe I've got a thing for older women. Bloody hot older women," Sirius said getting a laugh from everyone.

"I'd love to come, but Lily and I have Prefect Duty tonight in the library," Remus tells them.

"Alright, you better make us a Hangover Draught, because I reckon that we are going to get pissed and we need to be stable for your transformation," James laughed.

"I really don't think you should come when I transform. It's bad enough you became Animagi. What if I bite you? What if it isn't different in your Animagi forms? What if the books were wrong?" Remus said concerned. James, Sirius, and Peter had been hearing that since third year when they came up with the idea.

"We'll be fine, Moony. We're here to help ya," Peter said comforting Remus, "Becomin' Animagi was the hard part anyways."

"Yeah and we've researched it for ages back in Third Year, was it?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, but who knows-" Remus began.

"Keep mum 'bout it Moony. We're helpin' you and that's settled," Peter said.

"Now that that's done with, we should get going before Filch comes this way," James grabbed the Marauder's map from his trunk and they began planning their route.

"We should take the secret passage into the Shrieking Shack. Honey Dukes is probably all closed up and we don't want to start a ruckus," James pointed out.

"Brilliant," Peter exclaimed.

"Let's go."

**AN: What do you all think so far? Reviews would be great. This is my first fanfic ever.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Diaries and Furry Little Problems

"Professor Flitwick?" Lily asked with her hand raised.

"Yes Miss Evans," he responded politely.

"How long does our essay on Summoning Charms have to be?" Lily said. Her Charms Professor always did love her. He said that she was his favourite student, but Lily was most teacher's favourite student.

"1 and a half feet will do," Professor Flitwick told her with a soft expression. James scoffed at Professor Flitwick. "Lily dear, would you like to demonstrate this particular charm seeing as we still have a few remaining minutes left in class." Lily said that she would. She was fairly confident that she could do it, she had been practicing in the Common Room.

"What shall I summon, Professor?" Lily asked. Her professor walked over to her and whispered in her ear. It made her smile.

"Ready?" her professor asked. Lily looked over to James and began to grin widely. He unknowingly grinned back at her.

"Accio James' diary," Lily said loudly. Laughter burst from the class. She had her reservations, seeing as his book was all the way back in the boy's dormitory but when she heard the buzzing noise she grinned. James's face went white, the blood draining from it, but she didn't notice. When his diary reached Lily's hands she began to flip through it. She only saw handfuls of things and they were rather curious. 'Full Moon Schedule' was on one page with odd side notes like 'furry little problem' or 'the beast'. On another page it was potion formulas more complex than Lily had ever seen. There was three steps and ingredients she had never heard of. Again the sidenotes were odd, they referenced random animals like possible mice or dogs or deer. In the beginning of the book it dated back to third year. When she flipped again the page was titled Marauder's Map. This page referenced several tracking charms and other disillusionment charms. Before she could see anything else James shouted, "Accio journal!" The book flew from her hands and returned to James. She met his cross glance as the gears in her brain began turning.

"Potter! Potter! James, slow down. I'm sorry," Lily shouted as James sped out of class. She was running as fast as she could to catch up to him when Sirius stopped her.

"You shouldn't have done that, Evans."

"None of what I saw makes any sense. What have you all been up too?" Lily begged to Sirius, who stood in front of her with an unforgiving scowl. He had his arms crossed over his chest.

"You better bet I won't be explaining it to you," Sirius said cooly.

"Just tell him I'm sorry. I didn't want to do anything to hurt him," Lily said pleadingly. And for a moment Lily swore she saw a ghost of a smile on his face before he walked back to where James had disappeared.

James and Lily had finally been getting along. He had stopped being a prat and Lily went and ruined it. She didn't know that he'd react so angrily about his diary. Lily hadn't known that he even kept a diary. And she was only doing as Professor Flitwick told her. She supposed that she could've refused, but she thought it'd be a joke. A teasing gesture. But that diary seemed dangerous and she may have ruined their one chance at not being enemies.

Lily searched for James the moment she stepped foot into Defence Against the Dark Arts class, but he didn't show up. Neither did Sirius, Remus, or Peter. Although she hadn't seen Remus all day, Lily thought she heard someting about a family emergency of his. Lily knew that whatever the four of them get up to is far deeper than pranks. And to think that Lily was lecturing Remus on focusing on things other than pranks, now it seems that they are delving into advanced magic. Magic far above their level of education. And while Lily knew that it was probably highly dangerous or illegal, she still felt a pang of jealousy. They were doing great things and were brilliant without even trying. So Lily didn't feel bad that Professor Flitwick and her embarrassed James, she felt confused because it seemingly ran a lot deeper.

"Tell me, Miss Evans, what is a counter-jinx?" Mrs. Shaw inquired, interrupting her thoughts.

"A counter-jinx is a spell which reverses the effects of a jinx," Lily said embarrassed.

"Very good, Miss Evans. Five points to Gryffindor," Her teacher said. Lily zoned out for the rest of the class. It wasn't like her, but she couldn't focus on her class. What were they up to?

"You don't have any homework tonight. You all should be grateful I have to leave town." Mrs. Shaw said. Mary's hand shot up.

"Why are you leaving, Professor?" Mary asked kindly, but Mrs. Shaw's face darkened.

"He-who-must-not-be-named's followers recently attacked my parent's town and I haven't heard any news," A gasp ensued her announcement and a grim silence. Lily's DADA teacher stood with her arms crossed but her face was much more revealing. She appeared to be on the verge of tears. What was coming of the world, Lily thought to herself. The remaining few minutes of class were dead silent, everyone was lost in their worries.

~James~ Reverse Psychology

"Who does she think she is? Summoning my journal!?" James went on. He had been like that for hours, interchangeably muttering things like 'What right did she have' and 'Stick up her arse'. Sirius, Remus, and Peter had got quite tired of it.

"You know, Fliwick did tell her to do it. She didn't know what was in it," Sirius piped up at long last, "More importantly what happened to you being in love with her?"

"Remus, back me up here. She could've found out, well everything!" James shouted, ignoring Sirius' comment.

"And she'll find it out anyway if you keep shouting. But Sirius is right, she had no cruel intentions. Besides, you've done worse to her then summoning a diary," Remus said.

"It's a journal," James muttered stubbornly as he placed anti-summoning charms on his diary.

"Prongs you didn't answer me," Sirius said.

"Wasn't aware you asked a question."

"Are you in love with Evans?" Sirius asked forcing James to look at him. James stared into Sirius' calculating grey eyes and he knew he couldn't try to lie to him.

"I'm not in love with her, I just fancy her a bit," James said poutily. He sat down on the edge of his bed feeling pathetic. He knew that it was illogical to fancy someone who hates him, but he couldn't help it.

"Then relax a bit, mate. She's not about to tell anyone," Sirius said, "You know what she told me? She said to tell you she's sorry because she didn't mean to do anything to hurt you. Sounds to me like she cares." James perked up, imagining Lily close to tears begging for his forgiveness.

"Really?" James wondered. Sirius nodded. "I bet if I played it right, I could get her to like me."

"How so?" Remus asked cautiously. James knew that Remus was the closest to Lily out of the Mauraders because they studied together and were Prefects together and all. Still James felt confident in the plan that had sprung into his mind.

"Well I'm sure she hates feeling guilty, so I'll guilt trip her into being my friend," James said pridefully.

"Great idea!" Peter said.

"No, Prongs you're not going to do that. It won't work on her," Remus said, shaking his head.

"As an only child, I have mastered the art of persuasion. What do Muggles call it? Reverse Psychology?" James said. Remus nodded reluctantly. This was a great plan!

"I'm telling you it won't work," Remus sighed.

"Have faith Moony!" James told him. "But first we should get you out to the Shrieking Shack. We're cutting it rather close and it's going to be a long night."

"I still don't think you guys should come," Remus said blatantly.

"Well you aren't going to be able to change our minds, Moony, so let's go," Sirius said with a grin. They were all a mixure of excited and nervous, but it was more importantly going to help Remus.

The next morning at breakfast, James rose extra early so he could reach the Dining Hall just when Lily did. He knew that Lily always got up early and he could probably play it like he was trying to avoid her. It wasn't difficult for him to get up early, because he hadn't slept much at all last night. But he was definitely tired and stiff and sore. At least everything went well last night and Remus had remarkabally fewer injuries, leaving Madam Pomfrey baffled when she realeased Remus early.

"Morning," Lily said as he walked down the stairs from the boy's dormitory. James just sighed when he saw her. He saw the way her face made a pouty expression and her eyes were filled with concern.

"What is it, Evans?" He sat on the staircase awaiting her apology. After a few moments he continued, "Let's get on with the apology."

"I wasn't going to apologise again," She said in a tone of surprise, "I just wanted to talk."

"Talk about what exactly, my private journal?" James countered, scowling once more. He couldn't help but be impressed with her gutsy manner, but that wasn't helping his plan.

"I only got a glance of your book but it looked like seriously advanced magic, James," Lily said gently. He involuntarily smiled again when she said his name. "I swear I'd never tell anyone about what I saw."

"Look, if I told you I'd be betraying my friends. And that is something I would never do," James said fiercely.

"But you can trust me."

"Based on what, Evans? You've hated me since we set foot into this school," James went on. This was no longer part of his script that he'd rehearsed in his head. These were his real feelings, his pent up frustration at their enemy-like relationship. What would it take for her to let him in?

"As if you've been an angel yourself! You've always been a right foul git. Skipping classes, pulling pranks, hexing everyone you meet, and acting like everyone should bow down to you. I thought at the Slug Club you had matured at least a little bit, but obviously not, Potter," Lily spat out. He should have expected their usual argument to resurface.

"And you what your issue is? You're too perfect, Evans. Too bloody perfect," James fired back. He meant it as an insult but it was true in every way, and her face softened when he said it.

"I'm sorry, but I don't really see the issue with that one," She said. Neither do I, he thought.

"I need to go," James said quickly pushing himself past her.

"I'm going to figure it out, Potter. And when I do, I won't tell a soul," Lily shouted after him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Bad Threats and Uncovered Secrets

"I'm going to figure it out, Potter. And when I do, I won't tell a soul," Lily shouted after James. What sort of secrets were in that diary that would betray his friends?

"You need to work on your threats, Evans," Sirius said as he sauntered down the stairs. Remus and Peter followed him behind him like a possy.

"You heard all that?" Lily said quietly. She couldn't help but feel embarrassed, but she didn't know why.

"It was hard not to, love. You aren't exactly known for being subtle," Sirius said. His flowing black hair complimented his trademark grin that all the girls love. Thankfully, his grin didn't work on her. Marlene on the other hand, was another story.

"And I don't suppose any of you will tell me what any of the diary meant," Lily asked hopefully.

"Depends on what you saw," Remus added yawning. He had returned to his normal exhausted looking state, with the large bags beneath his eyes. Bags that all the Marauders sported that morning.

"It'll sound stupid coming from me but I guess you all wrote it, so 'a furry issue', a bunch of random animals like dogs and deer, Full Moon Schedules, and three potion recipes way above our year," Lily said. The three boys looked at each other and shook their heads.

"I'm afraid we can't tell you, Lily. But, and I can't stress this enough, if you do find everything out you cannot tell anyone," Remus said gravely. Lily had never seen him get so serious before.

"Fine, but I am going to find out." she insisted.

"Only way you'd ever find out is if you slept with Prongs. He'd probably tell you then," Sirius joked with a large smirk. Lily huffed at his crude humour and turned to leave.

"Are you a prude, Evans?" he shouted after her.

"No I just find your 'humour' disgusting," Lily said with anger rising quickly. Maybe Sirius was right about her lack of subtlety, but she didn't care. She saw Remus put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, to tell him he went too far.

"Really? Well-" Sirius began to say with a sneer. But Lily had enough. She wasn't going to stand there and argue pointlessly with Sirius. She raised her wand and hexed him. The next words out of his mouth were all in German, at least she thought it was German. She of course couldn't understand what he was saying and she was perfectly content with that. She was sure it consisted of very colourful vocabulary. She shot Remus an apologetic look, but he and Peter were too busy laughing at Sirius' predicament to be annoyed. Lily smiled and walked out. She had class to get to.

Straight after Potions, Lily went to the library. She finished two essays, a Runes translation, and her Transfiguration homework all in one sitting. This is what happened to Lily when she got her mind set on one thing. Lily had heard of mothers lifting cars to save their children and Lily supposed it was that same type of thing except with her brain. And in order for Lily to begin researching she had to finish her homework, so she did.

"Madam Pince, where would I find books with advanced potions?" Lily asked. She decided to see if she could find any recipes that she recognised.

"Since it's you I'd recommend Moste Potente Potions in the Restricted Section. As long as it's purely educational, of course," Madam Pince told her with a smile.

"Yeah I'm just researching," Lily said with a little chuckle.

"Try the back left, dear," Madam Pince said. She was a sweet lady, rather plump with short brown hair and a mousy face, but nice indeed. And with the librarian's help Lily had stacks of books regarding Advanced Potions and Full Moons. As far as she could tell there were no connections between the two. Suddenly an idea struck her.

"How could I be so stupid," Lily muttered to herself as she packed up her new books. She racked her brain, "Where would he be?". Then it hit her, everyone would be leaving the Great Hall after dinner. She hurried over, hopefully she would be in time.

"Severus, hey Sev!" Lily shouted as she raced to catch him leaving the Great Hall. He was walking with Avery, Rosier, and Mulciber. The usual Slytherin gang. All of them seemed to scoff when Lily appeared. They turned to Severus, expecting him to send her off, but they should have known better.

"Lily," Severus said cooly. He clenched his hands as Lily caught up to him. His friends scowled at him when he didn't curse her.

"I need your help with something."

~James~ Fake Friends and Narcissists

"I need your help with something," Lily asked Snape kindly. Lily had only used that voice with James a grand total of twice. It boiled his blood that Lily was friends with scum like Snape.

"What is it then," Snape clenched his jaw, half watching his Death-Eater friends. How could Snivelly be so rude to her? James thought. Seemingly enough, everything made James angry lately. Except for the Marauders that is.

"No need to take that tone with me," Lily shot back.

"You're the one who needs help, not me." Snape had some nerve saying that to her, James thought. He wanted to jump out from behind the corner, but he knew Lily didn't need or want his help.

"Never mind then, Snape. Come talk to me when you remember who your real friends are," Lily said that and stalked away. Right towards James...

"Ah! Potter I didn't see you there," Lily said as she rounded the corner, "Wait, were you eavesdropping?"

"No, er well it wasn't my intention," James said scratching his chin, "I was leaving the Great Hall and I remembered you said you didn't need my help and all, so I didn't hex him." She stared at him for a few moments, confused.

"You are a hard person to figure out, did you know that?" Lily said.

"How about we figure each other out at Slughorn's Christmas party?" James asked quickly. He couldn't stop himself and he wanted to slap himself for being so tactless. But it was too late now to back down, he was all in.

"Are you asking me out?" Lily said as if she didn't hear him right. He couldn't tell if she was disgusted or shocked. He was hoping for shocked.

"Well that would be the idea. I can spell it out further if you need. Me, the coolest bloke, goes with you, the fittest girl, to Slughorn's, he's our Potions Professor by the way, Christmas Party. It's an annual thing he hosts, I figured you'd know about it," James said sarcastically. He had thought he was being funny but Lily instead blew up on him.

"How can you be so... so egotistical. I'm surprised you fit inside with a head that big," Lily shouted. She looked like she could start sobbing or screaming again, but all James knew was to be scared of her.

"Evans calm down, I know you know how the whole Christmas Party thing goes," James said. Somehow James managed to say all the worst things at the very worst time.

"How you ace your classes is beyond me, because you're missing the point yet again," Lily shouted at him. She turned and left in the opposite direction. Good one Prongs, James thought to himself. He mentally scolded himself all the way back when he saw a certain curly brown haired Ravenclaw walking with some of her friends. And an idea struck him.

"Delia, hey Delia!" James shouted as he went to catch up with her. She was walking beside a few other Ravenclaws who all dispersed when James reached them.

"James!" Delia said excitedly. She looked like she was ready to jump up and down from excitement. Her friends shook their heads yet seemed intrigued at the same time, it was James sodding Potter after all.

"Hey," James said grinning at her. He ran a hand through his hair, fluffing it up a bit.

"How's Quidditch?" Delia asked.

"The team is doing well. We got Lance Stillsap to be the new Seeker and Russell Khan as the new Keeper and they're looking good," James told her. He could've talked about Quidditch forever, but he had a job to do.

"That's nice."

"Right well I didn't come over here to talk about Quidditch."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I was seeing if you'd fancy going to Slughorn's Christmas Party with me?" James asked suavely. It was a lot easier when the girl wasn't Lily. Other girls didn't make his heart race so fast or make his palms sweaty or his tongue tied. This was easier.

"Of course, when is it?" She grabbed his hands and he decided at that moment that he needed to start getting over Lily, somehow. And now he had a pretty and fun girl fawning over him rather than a gorgeous, intelligent, brave, kind, perfect girl who hated his guts.

"Next Friday," James said.

"Perfect. And it's down in the dungeons I'm guessing," Delia asked. James rubbed her fingers as she held his hand.

"Yes, love," James mused.

"Brilliant."

"I'll see you then," James said with a wink, before turning and walking away. He could hear the squeals of her and her friends as he turned the corner. This was the positivity he needed in his life.

**AN: This is a pretty short chapter, but don't worry it get's longer... and better. I have most of the story written already. It's just a pain to upload it all.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Head Boys and Hogsmeade

"Lily, would you mind staying behind a bit. I need to talk to you," Edgar said to her at the end of a Prefect's meeting. Lily saw Remus raise an eyebrow to her, but she waved him off. Remus shrugged and hurried out the door, probably to report back to James.

"Sure," Lily responded. After everyone cleared out and only her and Edgar remained she said, "What can I do for you?"

"Well I wanted to let you know that you have been doing a great job as a Prefect. I'm sure you'll be Head Girl in no time," Edgar said with a nervous smile. Lily had never realized what a nice smile he had. His white teeth gleamed, standing out against his light tan.

"Thanks. I didn't realize it was standard procedure to single out just one Prefect, Edgar," Lily said jokingly. And he took it surprisingly well seeing as he was more of a stickler for rules then she was. Although Lily didn't mind breaking the rules as long as they didn't endanger anyone and she didn't get caught.

"Well, let's just say this is more personal then our Prefect and Head Boy duties," He said. His eyes sparkled a deep blue which complemented his perfectly placed light brown hair.

"Oh yeah?" Lily said distracted by his colonge. She couldn't place the scent but it was lovely, something rather musky and exotic. Not the scent you'd expect on someone like Edgar.

"You have the prettiest eyes, y'know. I wish I could stare into them all the time," Edgar said dreamily.

"Well that's just too personal I'm afraid," Lily kidded. She watched as he grinned at her, stepping closer. They were both transfixed with one another.

"I just hope I don't overstep with what I say next then," he said slowly.

"Go on."

"How would you like to go to Professor Slughorn's Christmas Party?" He asked her. Lily wondered how she never noticed the little dimple he had. It was quite attractive. "I mean I know you are already invited personally, but I was seeing if you'd like to go with me? As a date?"

"I'd like that," She said before she could stop herself. Not that she wanted to.

"Do you want to meet in Hogsmeade this weekend to discuss the details?" Edgar asked politely. She nodded to him and a smile was peeled to her face. She had never seen the Head Boy in this light before, but she liked it.

"I'll see you this weekend," Lily said. He kissed her cheek like a gentleman. Then she walked out the hall, practically skipping.

"Edgar asked me to the Christmas Party!" Lily shouted to her friends. They were sitting on the ground, seemingly and surprisingly immersed in homework.

"Edgar... Edgar Bones? Like the uptight Head Boy?" Marlene asked rudely. Emmeline, Mary, and Dorcas giggled, but Lily knew Edgar was much better than some of the bottom-feeders they had dated.

"Shut it. He's sweet, talented, smart, and hot," Lily retorted. Lily couldn't believe she had never noticed how good looking he was.

"Not hotter then James Potter. Who might I add asked you out just last week," Mary added.

"Just because every other girl crawls all over him, doesn't mean I will. He's pretentious and a bully," Lily said defiantly. She hated how her friends didn't understand her side of it. James was a bully, not someone to fawn over.

"Wasn't he ready to rush over to save you from a bunch of evil Slytherins?" Emmeline said dreamily, "I wonder what it would feel like to fall into his arms?"

"Worse than falling on the floor would," Lily retorted. "And he wasn't saving me, he was eavesdropping."

"Honestly I'm not sure why you are so pitted against him. It seems like he'd do anything for you," Emmeline said confused.

"And he thinks I should be thanking him for that. He acts so entitled, like all the girls should go out with him."

"Sirius is the same way. And I used to find it annoying, like I wouldn't be able to trust him. But it's so much easier to just give in to your feelings, Lils," Marlene said casually. All the girls slowly turned to face Marlene without saying a word.

"First of all, are you saying you are snogging the infamous Sirius Black. And second, you seem to have been implying that I have 'feelings' for James," Lily said. Marlene grinned sheepishly.

"Of course you have feelings for James, see you even called him James. It is quite obvious to everyone who isn't either of you. Remember how jealous you were when he started snogging a few girls last year?" Marlene added.

"I could never have feelings for Potter. I hate him!" Lily shouted.

"Nah, you don't," Marlene said incessantly.

"And I certainly wasn't jealous of the queue of girls out his door. I was mad at his behaviour, treating girls like animals. It's disgusting. And the way he asked me out was so belittling. It implyed the only reason he was doing it was because he thought I was attractive," Lily insisted.

"You are gorgeous, Lils," Mary exclaimed. "It's about time James gained the courage to ask you out."

"And according to Sirius, James only snogs so many girls to make you jealous," Marlene said informatively.

"I wasn't aware you and Sirius do much talking, when you 'gave into your feelings'," Lily said snarkily.

"Funnily enough we talked quite a bit on the way out of the broom closet," Marlene replied.

"When did this happen!?" Mary yelled.

"Yesterday after Potions!" Marlene said, "We were having a row after he botched my potion and he was trying to blow me off. He said 'Move out of my way' and I said 'Make me'. Then before I knew it he was pushing me against the wall! And Merlin are the rumours true, his lips are divine," Marlene said.

"Is it like a one-time-snog or what?" Lily asked excited too. Even though the boy in question was Sirius Black, she couldn't help but be excited for Marlene. She had fancied him forever.

"Well we are going to Hogsmeade tomorrow together," Marlene added grinning. "We aren't actually dating though. Neither of us want a defined relationship, but we both want to have fun."

"You should join Edgar and I!" Lily said.

"Brilliant idea!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Where are you guys going? Three Broomsticks?" Lily asked.

"No I told you we are in it for the snog. We're going to Madam Puddifoots," Marlene said as if it was obvious. Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Ugh, alright. I suppose we'll meet you there. I need to pick up a new inkwell first," Lily said.

"Boring." Marlene coughed into her fist. Once again Mary set into a fit of giggles.

"Well I wouldn't have this issue if we just used pens," Lily said.

"Another muggle invention that you think is better than wizards," Marlene moaned.

"Well with pens you don't have to dip it in ink, the ink is inside it. And Muggles are rather innovative and in some ways wizards are a bit old fashion," Lily pointed out.

"Oh Merlin," Marlene complained jokingly.

"Really!" Lily said offended. She wished she could show them some Muggle things, "Mary, back me up here. Aren't some Muggle things just as cool as wizard things."

"I suppose," Mary said not wanting to choose a side.

"Like going to the cinema or ice skating. And wizards only have one sport, but Muggles have so many. Not to mention science and maths," Lily said dreamily of a world in which she no longer belonged in. "One day all of us will head into Muggle London and spend a day there."

"I guess it sounds interesting," Marlene agreed.

"Yeah I've always wanted to try being a Muggle for a day," Dorcas said.

"Alright. Now let's plan for Hogsmeade," Lily said, happy that she won the argument.

~James~ A Triple Date

"You heard WHAT?" James exclaimed.

"Just that the Head Boy asked Lily Evans to Slughorn's," Delia said casually as they walked hand in hand towards Hogsmeade.

"That's insane," James muttered to himself.

"What do you care? If you ask me the two of them couldn't be more perfect," Delia said giggling.

"And what's that supposed to mean? Do you think Lily is an arse? Just so you know, she isn't anything like that bloody git," James spat out. He didn't like it. This means Lily thought Edgar was better for her than he was?

"I'm sorry Jamie, I just thought the two of you hated each other," Delia said quietly now. She tried to pull him into a hug, but he kept walking.

"Let's just go to that bleeding tea shop or where ever you said you wanted to go," James said miserably. Delia seemingly forgot about James' bad mood and pulled him into the shop eager to begin their 'festivities'. She pulled the door open and ran over to a table by the window with James in tow. But James froze in his tracks as they entered. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lily bloody Evans was snogging Bones. James wanted to do nothing more then run over and break them up or even to shoot a hex at Bones, but instead he decided to give Delia what she wanted, a good snogging. So that's what he did, except he tried to pretend Delia was Lily.

"Oi, Prongsy. Way to go, you're really getting in there, aren't ya?" Sirius said as he strolled inside the shop. His faced burnt red, but it didn't matter.

"Yeah mate," He said loudly enough for Lily to hear. He watched Lily look over at him and Delia, blushing furiously. She got even more mad when he winked at her.

"Why don't you come and join Evans, Bones, Marlene, and me," Sirius said to him and James decided what was the worst that could happen. It would at least make Lily and Edgar stop snogging.

"C'mon Delia," James told her. She seemed a little mad but she got over it quickly enough.

"Hey Evans," James said with a grin. Bones had his eyes swivelling between Sirius and James suspiciously.

"And good to see you as well, Mr. Head Boy," James added, his voice dripping in sarcasm. He was going to add a little curtesy, but decided against it. He didn't want to over-do it just yet, not when he hadn't even sat down yet.

"Potter," Edgar said carefully. He began to pompously stick his hand out for a shake, but took it away when he saw that James made no effort to reciprocate. James offered his signature crooked grin instead and Lily returned it with her menacing, yet pretty, scowl.

"So what do you girls usually order here. I only come for the snogging," Sirius said. Marlene smacked him on the arm, leading Sirius to wink at her.

"You know you love me," Sirius told her.

"I most certainly do not," Marlene said, but before James knew it they were snogging again. Edgar seemed slightly flustered that they were kissing so close to him.

"I think I'll just have a tea. What about you Lily?" Bones asked Lily, placing his hand on top of hers. Lily smiled sweetly at him and agreed.

"I think a tea will be good for me too. Perhaps Chai?"

"Chai it is. What about the- er rest of you?" Edgar asked, nodding at them.

"I think a regular black coffee should due," Delia said.

"Same as Lovely Lily for me," James said in the most sickening sweet tone he could manage. He saw Lily scowl and heard Delia scoff and saw Edgar look unsure. And James knew full well what he was doing. He wanted everyone to feel as annoyed and peeved as he did.

"Right, well I suppose Black and Marlene aren't very thirsty right now," Edgar said awkwardly. James looked over at his two friends passionately making out.

"I disagree, Bones. I'd say the pair of them are very thirsty at the mo'." James smirked at his own joke. Lily bit her lip to supress her own laugh. Edgar was either unaware or found it unfunny.

"Okay then I'll go order now," Edgar rose from his chair. And James turned to face Lily.

"Quite a catch there, Lilybear."

"Thanks Potter," she replied briskly.

"Although I'm sure I outrank him in kissing skills. And looks. And Quidditch. Probably intelligence too, if that's more your drift," James listed. He even made the point as to count on his fingers.

"Could you get more arrogant?" she asked in a tone of evident disgust. He ignored her.

"And judging by the way you were laughing before I'd say I'm funnier too. Although it's hardly a competetion with a bloke as dull as Bones," James went on. "I'm sure there's more, but I'm a busy man. No need to tell you what you already know." Lily opened her mouth to retort, but Edgar had returned.

"Here are the drinks," Edgar interrupted.

"Thanks," James said and he meant it. He did appreciate Edgar getting the drinks. It was decent of him. James handed Edgar 4 Galleons. More than enough money to cover the cost of James and Delia's drinks. Probably enough for Edgar and Lily's drinks too. Edgar seemed to not be able to make heads or tails of it. And James' appreciation ended there. The prat was still on a date with Lily. James sipped his tea.

"Tell me Bones, what are your opinions on writing lines as punishment in detention?" James said mock interested. As Edgar was about to answer, Lily spoke.

"Will you just leave him alone."

"I was just making conversation, love," James said innocently. He heard Delia huff when he said that.

"As if, Potter. And I don't exactly remembering inviting you here," Lily said red in the face. She sipped her tea.

"Honestly Lilybear, I don't mind. I actually am strongly against writing lines and here's why..." Edgar began. James looked over to Lily as Edgar droned on, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"That's brilliant Bones, truly. Don't you think so Lilybear?" James said mocking her new nickname.

"That's it, I'm leaving," Delia said. She grabbed her cup of coffee and began walking to the door, looking over her shoulder to see if James was following her.

"Hey Delia," James shouted when she reached the door, "We're still on for the Astronomy Tower tonight, yeah?" Delia grinned and nodded yes, as if she completely forgot that she was mad at him. Lily just rolled her eyes behind him.

"You know I can't condone that, right Potter?" Edgar said seriously. How pompous could this guy get?

"Just when I thought you were pretty cool, Bones," James said shaking his head jokingly.

"I am not kidding, Potter," Edgar stood up but James just stretched back in his chair. Sirius and Marlene had seemingly disappeared to the bathrooms together and were nowhere to be seen. James chugged the rest of his tea, not caring that it burnt his tongue a little.

"Well I guess I'll make sure you don't see me, then," James said and he walked out the door without looking back. And James was sure of one thing and one thing only: Lily would never stay with Edgar for long.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Men Suck

"You look great, Edgar," Lily said as he waited outside the Gryffindor Common Room. He was a Ravenclaw so his Common Room was on the 7th floor too, but he couldn't enter into Gryffindor's.

"Thanks Lilybear, you look smashing yourself," he replied and offered her his arm to hold. The pair of them walked down all the way to the basement, and going down 7 flights of stairs was hard in her heels. She wouldn't have worn them but Marlene and Mary insisted... again. Once they reached the Potion Master's room Lily looked around in awe. Everything looked beautiful and the guests looked fancy and gorgeous. She spun around in awe and caught James' eye who had already been looking at her. She was surprsied at how well he dressed up. He looked really good, Lily thought despite herself. Their eyes connected for too long and Edgar noticed. He started pulling her towards Professor Slughorn to say hello.

"Lily, Edgar, I am so glad the two of you could make it. And if my sources are correct then the pair of you are together, right?" Her professor asked with a hopeful grin. Lily smiled and Edgar did the same.

"Yes, sir," her boyfriend of a month said at long last, "We'll catch up with you later, Professor," Edgar swiftly pulled Lily into a secluded corner and began kissing her intensely. Lily resisted because they had only just arrived.

"Lilybear, what is wrong?" Edgar said exasperated. His lips pouted and he stared at her.

"I don't know what you mean," Lily said distracted. She had made eye contact with James who seemed worried.

"Don't play around Lily. We hardly ever kiss. And the only times we do is when Potter comes into view. It doesn't take a genius to see the two of you are in love." Edgar messed up his perfect light brown hair. That's how Lily knew he was truly upset. She was surprised to see that his hair could get messed up and that he hadn't used a Permanent Sticking Charm on it.

"Pfft, me and Potter. You must've lost your mind. You do realize that I said yes to you, not him. Besides I'd rather talk then snog right now," Lily said disgusted. He almost rolled his eyes at her.

"All we ever do is talk," Edgar went on. He grabbed her hands in his. She had never seen him so tense.

"We talk about boring things like your wish of regulating cauldron thickness. I bet you don't even know what I plan to do after school, or much anything about me for that matter," Lily said with her arms crossed.

"Fine then let's leave and go talk about your ambitions," he said exasperated.

"No I came to be at the party. I am not leaving for your sake," Lily finished.

"Just tell me Lilybear, do you even like me? Or is this just to make Potter jealous?" Edgar asked her desperately, but he seemed to not want to hear her response.

"Look, I would never mess with your emotions like that Edgar! And I would never do something to make Potter of all people jealous," Lily restrained herself from shouting. She didn't want to make a scene. "And for you to think so low of me is despicable. I can't believe you."

"Lily wait!" Edgar said as she began to walk away. She turned and waited for him to speak. "I'm sorry, I know it wrong of me to assume that. I just- It's hard- I can't help it. All the girls love Potter, I just assumed that you might too."

"I thought you might trust me just a little bit. And I thought you could be mature, seeing as you're Head Boy. But apparantly I was wrong," Lily said tired of it, "Just go, Edgar. Please leave."

"I'll go. Can I see you over break to talk?" Edgar pleaded.

"I don't know," Lily sighed, "I'll owl you." He leant down and kissed her cheek, with a tender gentleness that she loved about him. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction by enjoying it so she stayed rigid and indifferent as he walked away discouraged.

She bumped into James who was now standing just outside the curtain. He jumped back and pretended to be looking for someone in the crowd.

"Drop the act Potter. That's the second time I've caught you listening in," Lily said. She wanted to be mad that he was eavsedropping but she just couldn't be, "Where's Delia?"

"Sick with something or other," James said indifferently.

"Not a very caring boyfriend, are you now?" Lily said. She glared at him.

He smiled at her and flirtatiously said, "I would be to you."

"Honestly would you give it a rest? I can't handle your ego at the moment," Lily said before brushing past him towards the drink table.

She needed to clear her head. She needed something to cool her down. Perhaps a Butterbeer. Or maybe Firewhiskey would numb her troubles more appropriately. Too bad they didn't serve hard alcohol here. She caught sight of Sirius on the dance floor. He was exhurbertingly dancing with a tispy Marlene. He didn't look too sober himself even though the party had only just started. Lily wouldn't be surprised if she didn't speak two words with Marlene all night by the looks of it. Her and Sirius seemed very occupied and very enamored. Their laughs and shouts could be heard above the blaring music. The sight brought a smile to her face. No matter how many times Marlene claimed they were only in it for a snog, Lily still knew that Sirius and Marlene cared very deeply for one another. She supposed they'd have to figure that out for themselves though.

"Lily," a voice called out. She turned to see Severus looking at her.

"Snape," She said coolly. Her and Severus had always been on a first name basis, but ever since he starting acting differently around her when his friends were there, she began calling him Snape. And it had the desired effect because his eyes dropped to the floor guiltily.

"Lily, I know we haven't been getting along lately but I thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?," Severus said to her. Unlike James, Severus had a way of humbling himself and owning up to his mistakes. That is what Lily looked for in a friend.

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy. D'you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald a few weeks ago?" Lily leant against the wall, looking up at his thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing," Snape insisted, "It was a laugh, that's all-"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny-" Lily said her voice raising. She had had it with all men that evening. She wasn't going to put up with anyone at the moment.

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" Severus demanded. His face began to turn red and he couldn't contain his resentment. Every time Lily brought up something with Snape it all came back to James.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" Lily asked. It seemed to her that Severus had a bit of an obsession with James.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?" Snape whispered suddenly. From the look in his eyes, it seemed like he was trying to convey something to Lily but he wasn't allowed to say it outright.

"He's ill. They say he's ill-" Lily whispered back.

"Every month at the full moon!?" Snape said.

"I don't like what you're insinuating. Why are you obsessed with them anyways? Why d'you care what they're doing at night?" Lily shot back. She could handle his anger at James, but not Remus. Remus was sweet and caring and her friend.

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are!" Snape said desperately. His gaze so intense he made her blush.

"But they don't use Dark Magic, though." Lily told him, "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened last year. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there," Lily said.

"Saved!? Saved!? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends too! You're not going to- I won't let you!" Snape sputtered furiously.

"Let me!? Let me!?" Lily said with equal intensity. Lily never put up with someone telling her how to feel. She narrowed her almond shaped eyes and waited for him to respond.

"I didn't mean- I just don't want to see you made a fool of. He fancies you, James Potter fancies you! And he's not... everyone thinks... big Quidditch hero," Snape mumbled bitterly and incoherently.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag. And I certainly don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them!" Lily said exasperated. Although she said it to make him reevaluate his friendships, he seemed lighter and happier than ever.

"I can't just abandon my friends. They're in my house," Severus said, trying to make her understand.

"I'm not friends with plenty of people in my House," Lily pointed out, "Including James Potter, who you seem to be obsessed with."

"Me- I... I'm not obsessed with him, I'm just trying to keep you safe. Mostly because you and him did seem to be quite cosy at Slughorn's dinner party a few weeks ago," Severus reminded her. His beetle black eyes were pained as he said it.

"That was different. I was simply thanking him for saving my friend from your friend," Lily said, getting angry all over again.

"I'm not going to rehash that all over again, alright? Let's just- let's just forget about them all for now," Severus offered. Lily didn't want to forget about any of it, but she still needed his help and she still wanted to be his friend too.

"Fine," she said sharply. And as if he could read her thoughts, he responded.

"So what was it you needed my help with?" His long greasy black locks shown from the light of the room.

"Oh, it's about a rather complicated potion I came across... in a old book I got for Christmas," Lily lied. She knew that the topic was secret and that she swore she wouldn't break their trust, especially after listening to Snape's rant about their questionable excursions. Yet nevertheless she explained what she had seen to him, just not where she had seen it or who it involved.

"Lily, if what your telling me is true then your dealing with a really advanced piece of magic. What book did you read it out of?" Severus asked. His beady eyes seemingly stared into her soul.

"I-I don't remember," She said averting his gaze.

"We both know that isn't true. You remember every book, especially the old ones. They're your favourites."

"I think the cover was ripped," She mumbled, "What does it mean though?" He sighed and she knew he knew that she was lying.

"It's the potions to become an Animagi, y'know like McGonagall. It's a really difficult process and the potions are only part of it. Some of the ingredients are really hard to get your hands on, believe me," Severus said slowly. She looked at him curiously regarding his last comment. The gears in her mind began turning.

"Don't you have to be a certain age to become an Animagi?" She asked. Lily figured that you did and she remembered Professor McGonagall saying something in passing, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"Yes, you must be of age. And you must register with the Ministry," His eyes narrowed, "You aren't trying to become an Animagi, are you?"

"No, I'm not a blithering idiot. And I'm certainly no rule breaker," Lily said loudly making Severus smile. She hadn't heard him laugh in a while, so she felt good too. She had her friend back. And her faith in the menin her life was restored for the time being.

~James~ Just a Laugh

James had had the worst Christmas break of his lifetime. Term had ended the day after Slughorn's party and things couldn't have ended worse. He broke up with Delia who decided to try and slip him a love potion to win him back, then at the party Lily practically ignored him and hung out with Snivellus (he would've rathered her to hang out with Edgar then Snape), Sirius was being forced to go home and stay there all break because his parents wanted to make him a 'true' Pure-Blood, and Remus had to endure the Full Moon on Christmas by himself! It completely went against the Marauder's rules. They never miss a Full Moon. But Moony refused to let them come on Christmas. All in all James Potter had an awful break.

"Prongs!" Sirius shouted as he ran pushing his cart. James turned around and gave his best friend a hug. James didn't care if people thought they were weird, James missed Sirius and couldn't help himself.

"How were your parents?" James asked tentatively. He could see bruises and new small cuts lining his face and arms.

"Agonizing per usual, but guess what," Sirius said excited.

"What?"

"I never have to see Bellatrix again," Sirius howls.

"How do you figure?" James inquired.

"She's getting married to some Death Eater fellow, one of the batty Lestrange's. And this guy is pretty high up in Voldy's ranks so Bella will be quite involved with her new master and not anywhere near me," Sirius said slightly too excited. "And Cissy is all engaged to that Malfoy chap."

"It seems like all the Slytherins are Junior Death Eaters, doesn't it?" James said.

"I guess we will just have to mess them up bad enough to not be able to," Sirius added with a wicked glint in his eye. And it was common knowledge that Sirius knew about as many curses as Snape did because of his family. Sometimes it came in handy but other times it was just plain scary. But James figured the Slytherins were long overdue for a messing with. The two boys joined their friends on the train and began planning.

"Ok, so we decided on using a Fainting Draught, but how are we supposed to slip it to them?" James wondered aloud to his friends. Sirius shrugged and downed another Chocolate Frog. Remus was deep within his latest Muggle novel and Peter just looked around at the boys waiting for them to speak. When none of them did, Peter piped up.

"What if we asked the house-elves to slip it into their Pumpkin Juice?" Peter added in. James had always had a soft spot for the mousy looking boy.

"Brilliant Peter!" James exclaimed.

"Why don't we slip it to Evans too?" Sirius asked

"You aren't serious?" Remus said slowly as he looked up from his book. He looked at the group of boys who seemed unaware of the issue.

"No I am Sirius," Sirius said trying not to laugh. But Remus completely ignored him.

"James likes this girl, right?" Remus looked at James who nodded, "Then why do you plan on sending her to the infirmary. That doesn't exactly ooze romance."

"I don't need to 'ooze romance', Moony. She already loves my personality," James said, although he wasn't too convinced himself. Remus just shrugged and let the others continue to deliberate. "And either way I don't plan on letting Padfoot do that. Let's just stick with the Slytherins."

"But she rejected you!" Sirius reminded him.

"And I don't plan on giving her more of a reason to hate me," James said.

"Whatever you say, Prongs," Sirius grumbled.

"Padfoot?" James said, after a few moments, "Would you like to go ask the house-elves tonight?" James was hoping that this would make Sirius feel better.

"Id love to!" Sirius said, perking up.

"Great, tonight it is," James said with finality. He was happy that Sirius was happy, and he didn't even realize the glint in his grey eyes had come back.

The four boys sat down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and waited for the feast to begin. James sat in anticipation to see a few enemies of theirs to faint, but it never happened. James looked the hall around in confusion, he was so sure it would work. A Zonko's product had never failed them before, but the Slytherins remained in perfect health across the Great Hall.

"Prongs, I'd reckon that you avoid your Pumpkin Juice too, 'cause Delia's lookin' a bit shifty over there," Peter whispered to him. James glanced at Delia, who did indeed look somewhat suspicious.

"I'm not feeling so well. I think I might go back to the dormitory," Lily said as she stood up to leave. She looked a bit wobbly and her eyes were oddly unfocused. When James processed this all, he suddenly felt sick. No no no no no no no no no no no no nonononononononononononononono...

"Ok Lils. D'you want me to come with you?" Marlene asked. James glanced over to Sirius who again had a glint in his grey eyes.

"No I wouldn't want to make you skip dinner. I'll see you lot later," Lily said looking especially pale and shaky. She took a few steps and began to fall. But James was ready, he jumped from his chair and caught her as she fell. She fit perfectly in his arms and her red hair fell in a lush heap. He looked up to Dumbledore for permission and he nodded. But his blue eyes twinkled in a knowing way, but James was too worried to think anything of it. James rushed her towards the Infirmary. On the way their her eyes fluttered open and she drearily looked up at him.

"What's going on?" Lily mumbled.

"You fainted, love," James said amused. But he felt so guilty inside. He never should've let Sirius be in charge of the prank.

"Did I?" she asked drearily.

"Yes. How are you feeling?" James asked.

"Safe," she answered, making his smile grow. It was like her mere presence radiated joy.

"You have such strong arms, did you know that?" Lily said deliriously. Her long lashed fluttered and her green irises stood out vibrantly on her freckled face.

"Really? What else do you like about me?" James said.

"You have a nice face," Lily said as James laid her on a bed in Madam Pomfrey's room.

"You have a nice face too," James said as Lily fell back asleep. He stood there watching her peacefully sleep for a few moments until Madam Pomfrey shooed him out. Now it was time to go tell Sirius off.

"You absolute git! Barking mad, thick-headed, manipulative, gormless, git!" Remus shouted. James heard the argument from the bottom of the stairs. He bounded up the stairs, streaking past people heading to the Common Room, all of them blissfullly unaware of the storm raging within his head. He was hoping to get in before it was over, because he was so mad at his best friend.

"Do you realize how potent that was? That was supposed to last for 5 separate people! But you used it on one girl. On Lily!" Remus went on. James burst the door open, and the room went quiet. James felt his anger bubbling in the depths of his stomach, just waiting. Waiting to implode.

"Say something, will you?" Sirius said, unnerved by James' cold stare. But James didn't oblige, not yet. "C'mon Prongs-"

"Don't call me that," James interrupted quickly.

"James it isn't a big deal. We aren't seriously going to let some stupid girl get in the way," Sirius said with a nervous laugh.

"She isn't some stupid girl, you prick."

"Give it up, mate. She doesn't like you," Sirius said shaking his head. He didn't realize the depth of James' feelings or his fury.

"I trusted you to get the prank done. The whole reason we were doing it was because your whole family are Death Eaters," James spat.

"Take that back!"

"I will not! You knocked Lily Evans out, then insulted me, and the whole time thinking you were in the right. Well, guess what? You aren't," James said angrily.

"It was just a laugh. I'm sorry alright. I didn't think you'd get so mad about it," Sirius said, "I mean Evans obviously isn't going to become a Death Eater or anything, but she still is best friends with one and she despises us too." No one said anything for awhile. James plopped onto his bed, suddenly exhausted.

"That changes nothing," James scowled.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, his voice sounding weak. James remembered the same sound in Sirius' voice when Sirius had betrayed Remus' secret the year before. Everyone had been miserable and James couldn't handle to watch Sirius go through that again, because without the Marauders, Sirius had no one. And now that James thought about it, it could've been a lot worse, not that what he did was okay, but Lily was going to be alright. Lily was going to be alright.

"Yeah we know. Just- just try and think next time. I mean, Lily did nothing wrong. So just leave the innocent alone, otherwise we become the bullies," James said, falling back onto his bed.

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Big Heads and Quidditch Matches

Lily woke up in the Hospital Wing, confused and tired. She looked around at the nearly empty room and wondered what happened, when everything clicked. She had started to not feel well during dinner and decided to head back to her room and rest, but she couldn't remember. Except she remembered something vaguely about James Potter's arms. They were very nice. Also something about his crooked grin that was sort of endearing in a way. Lily raised her eyebrows in alarm. Who was she thinking these thoughts! Admiring James Potter of all people. She must be delirious or something. Perhaps that's why she's in the Hospital Wing.

"Oh hello dear," Madam Pomfrey said coming over to her bedside.

"What happened to me?"

"You seem to have been slipped a Fainting Draught, or rather multiple of them. One of Zonko's products, I believe," said the nurse. Lily nodded. Who would want to make her faint? It should've been harmless enough. She supposed that it was the next morning by the light shining through the window slits, and that seemed to be a long time for a harmless prank.

"Would it be ok if I left now?" Lily asked.

"Yes, but if you feel dizzy, come straight back. You were given a very strong dosage. Enough to keep you out for two days straight," Madam Pomfrey said. Two whole days! Wow, Lily thought, she had a lot to catch up on.

"Er- I've got to get to classes!" Lily said rushing to get her things together. "D'you know what period it is?"

"Third, I believe, but you'll want to head back to your dormitory first," Madam Pomfrey said. Lily looked down at her rumpled two days old clothes that probably could use a wash now and she could only imagine what the rest of her looked like.

"Right. Thanks." And with that Lily was gone before Madam Pomfrey could answer.

"I'm sorry I'm late Professor. I just got back from Madam Pomfrey's," Lily said as she bursted into Professor McGonagall's class. She had quickly changed her clothes, ran a brush through her hair, and used magic to clean herself as quickly as she could. Lily hoped she didn't look as dirty as she felt, despite her efforts.

"It's alright, Miss Evans. We were about to practice Vanishing, would you care to demonstrate?" Professor McGonagall said.

"Evanesco," Lily said and she sucessfully Vanished the teacup on her desk.

"Well done," her teacher said. Lily sat down next to Marlene who all but squealed because Lily was back.

"Can someone tell me where Vanished Objects go?" her professor asked. The class looked at one another, bemused. Slowly, a hand raised into the air from the back of the room.

"Mr. Potter."

"Into nonbeing. Nothingness if you will," James said.

"Well put. Vanished Objects do go into nonbeing. They cease to exist. They are irretrievable, so take caution in what you Vanish. 5 points each to Mr. Potter and Miss Evans," Professor McGonagoll said. When class was over Marlene began filling Lily in on everything that had happened.

"Thanks loads for taking notes for me Marlene. But tell me, who slipped me the Fainting Draughts?" Lily asked.

"Nobody knows, but everyone has there suspicions. Personally, I think it was someone in the Slytherin crowd, but others think it was the Marauders or even Edgar," Marlene began, "I just don't think that makes any sense, because Potter was the one who caught you in his arms and rushed you to the Infirmary. It was quite heroic if you ask me. And can you even imagine Edgar breaking a rule like that?"

"Potter did all that?" Lily said unsure. She began to remember his arms again and how perfect she fit in them. Oh no, she thought, what did I say to him?

"Surprised, are you?" James said as he walked up to them, making Lily scowl. "You didn't seem to mind me then," He lowered his voice so only Lily could hear him. Her face burnt red, what has she said to him?

"Not sure what you mean, Potter. Now do leave me alone," Lily said quickly. She began walking away from him. Trying to escape the bustling halls where things could easily be overheard and she figured whatever James had to say would be somewhat embarassing.

"Arresto Momentum," James said as she tried to get away, "Wait a minute, Evans, I'm not finished yet." Lily was frozen to the spot. She felt her stomach plummet and her heart race. Not in a good way.

"Let me go, Potter, or I'll hex you." she warned.

"You'd never hex someone with a face as nice as mine," James said grinning. A small crowd had gathered around them.

"Engorgio Skullus," Lily said, pointing her wand at his head. She watched his head grow 4x the normal size. Lily only knew this hex because James had used it on poor Bertram Aubrey the year before.

"I think that accurately portrays your ego, don't you?" Lily said innocently. James shrieked as his head grew, and he released Lily from the spell. And she rushed to her next class, not caring about James' dilemma in the slightest. Lily could still hear everyone laughing as she left. They howled in delight as the king of pranks got humiliated for once. It served him right, Lily thought, He acts so entitled and imperious so maybe this will deflate his head a bit. Lily smiled to herself, she was a sucker for irony.

Later that day, back in the Common Room, James came rushing inside furiously. One side of his face was still slightly inflated then the other and his left ear was all blown up. She smiled at him from her spot on the couch.

"Evans," He growled. It was a scary sight, but Lily knew how to handle herself with him. "I have a Quidditch match to get to against Ravenclaw, I hope you're happy."

"I'm extremely content, if I'm being honest," Lily said as she read her book.

"How am I supposed to play with my goddamn head blown up!?"

"Well a player of your supposed expertise should be able to find a solution," Lily said.

"'Supposed'," James scoffed, "Who do you think you're kidding? You know exactly how good I am and exactly how important it is that I am playing well in the match!"

"I was simply trying to express that it wouldn't kill you to humble yourself, which seems not to have worked," Lily explained.

"You little-" James began to say.

"And one would think that someone with their head tripled the size would understand the importance of shutting up," she said. James looked like he was going to explode with anger and the entire Common Room was dead silent, ready to watch it all go down.

"You think you're so much better than everyone, don't you?" James sneered. His lip curled in a nasty way. Pure dislike. His joking/flirty demeanor had disappeared.

"The thing is, Potter, I don't. Quite the opposite actually. And you've told me how horrible I am too many times for me to forget," Lily said, annoyance breaking through her facade. James' eyes went wide with shock. Or maybe regret? Then the door to the Common Room burst open. McGonagoll barreled inside, her hair flying behinf her, not quite up to par compared to her normal tight bun.

"The Quidditch match is cancelled!" Professor McGonagall announced. A loud cry of boos followed because Gryffindor only had 3 games per year and each one was widely looked forward to. But no one was more upset then James, who seemed to have forgotten about their conversation.

"What!? You can't do that? It's Quidditch," James said loudly. Their professor looked at James' lopsided face in confusion, and the face-off taking place between him and Lily.

"It's not my decision. But you'd better come with me, Potter."

~James~ Duelling and Near Deaths

Professor McGonagall led him through the halls and James tried peppering her with questions but his efforts were in vain. They approached the two gargoyles that stood outside the Headmaster's office. James had only been inside once, and that was because Sirius, Peter, and him had figured out Remus' secret. At least then James had known why he was there, this time was a lot scarier.

"Black Liquorice," McGonagall said. The door between the gargoyles spun around until it opened, and the two of them went inside.

"Ah Fawlkes, the two of them are too innocent to have such a twisted end, but if it's for the greater good I suppose it must be done," Dumbledore said quietly to his red bird. His voice seemed troubled and the bird croaked sypathetically.

"You're right, dear bird, but nothing is fair during war. And this is the only way. Prophecies can't be interfered with," Dumbledore spoke to the bird, sounding regretful.

"Headmaster?" McGonagall said. Dumbledore turned to face his visitors and his silver hair glistened from the dim light.

"Thank you for coming, James. I apologise about your Quidditch match, I know how much it means to you," Dumbledore said distracted. He wouldn't meet James' eyes.

"I appreciate that, Headmaster, but is something else wrong?" James asked cautiously.

"I'm afraid so," Dumbledore looked up at James, his brilliant blue eyes meeting James' warm hazel ones. "Voldemort has been gaining traction, I'm sure you've heard plenty from your parents about it. Anywho, his followers are being sent out to pillage and kill all Muggles, Muggleborns, Squibs or anyone who even associates with them. He isn't a very forgiving man, if you can even call him a man anymore." James looks at him waiting for the bad news. Dumbledore seemed almost anxious, which James had never seen before.

"Who died?" James blurted out. He couldn't stand the small talk, besides James knew everything Dumbledore was saying. Most people who even just glanced at the Daily Prophet knew that.

"No one, James, well no one that you know. There was only one casualty tonight and it was a result of an attack on Hogsmeade only an hour ago," Dumbledore said sadly. Why was Dumbledore telling him this?

"But Hogsmeade is an all wizarding community. Why would he attack there?" James asked. It must've been someone who pissed him off or someone important, James thought.

"You're right, but this man was both. He was a friend of your father's, Marcus Stein. He was a good man and a very brave one at that. But he just so happened to be born of a Muggle family and that was the last straw for Tom," Dumbledore rambled on. James was still waiting for the catch, he knew Dumbledore wouldn't single him out if it wasn't personal.

"I'm sorry sir, I feel horrible about Mr. Stein's death, but why are you telling me this?" James asked as politely as he could.

After a brief pause his Headmaster continued, "Marcus Stein died saving your father. He jumped in front of the killing curse from hitting your father when his back was turned. The Death Eaters were trying to kill your father for associating and sympathysing with Muggles." Dumbledore continued to speak but James wasn't listening. His father almost died, like gone forever. His father, the one who would always be there for him, his hero, could've been killed tonight. And to think that James had been worried about something as mundane as his lopsided head.

"Who fired the curse?" James interrupted. Dumbledore sighed and said, "Bellatrix Black... Sirius' cousin. Although I suppose it's Bellatrix Lestrange now." James wanted to rush out of Dumbledore's office. He wasn't really sure what he was doing, he was just scared. How could his father face death and evade it, how could James been so oblivious to it all happening? Was he really this self-involved? He knew of course that others had it worse, others had actual deaths to grieve. But James just couldn't shake the feeling of paranoia and fear. James Potter was scared.

"He isn't taking it well," Dumbledore said cautiously.

"What?" James said.

"Your father. He isn't taking Mr. Stein's tragic demise lightly. He is under the impression that it is him who should have died," Dumbledore said pensively, "Survivor's guilt is a fickle thing, James. I fear he has a long road ahead of him."

"Yes sir. Goodnight sir," James said distracted. He needed to clear his head.

"Goodnight James."

He strolled the halls alone, unsure where to go. He didn't want to return to the Common Room. He didn't want to face everyone, not yet. James decided to visit Slughorn, he wasn't really sure why just that Slughorn was a nice enough guy. He feet took him all the way towards the dungeons without him thinking. All that map-making made James an expert of the castle. But James was shaken out of his daze when he saw Severus Snape and Regulus Black hanging around in the corridor. James wanted a fight, his blood was boiling and he never did get to prank Snivellus. He was ready. His hand tightened around his wand and he leant around the corner.

"Expulso," James yelled as he pointed his wand around the corner towards the two boys. He saw Regulus get thrown against the wall and yell out in pain. James couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt for hurting Sirius' brother.

"Petrificus Totalus," James yelled again while they were off guard. He hit Regulus again, getting him out of the way and leaving just him and Snape. Just like old times, he though to himself, except now Snape is probably a Death Eater.

"Confringo," Snape fought back.

"Reducto," He yelled. The stones by Snape's feet exploded. Snape ducked behind the corner, forcing James to chase after him. He couldn't let Snape escape like the slimy snake he was. He rounded the corner, but Snape was ready. Snape was ready to fight.

"Locomortor mortis," Snape shouted.

"Flipendo," James yelled, knocking Snape off his feet. James charged at his enemy.

"Stupefy!" A jet of red light shot after him. It missed him by centimetres. Too close for comfort.

"Bombarda-"

"Finite!" James yelled trying to counter the affects. He wasn't going to let Snape blow up the corridor. It would bring too much attention. And probably a detention and a lifetime of hate from Lily.

"Impedimenta," Snape said as he laid on the stone floors.

"Levicorpus." The spell were like a second nature to James. In years past there were times where you could hardly walk down the corridor without seeing someone hit with that spell. The word just rolled off his tongue and it's effects were immeadiate. Snape was suddenly hanging from the ceiling by his foot. James couldn't help but smirk. Duelling gave him a rush, but winning... well there simply isn't a better feeling.

"Oh Snivellus, I suppose I'll let you down if you ask nicely," James taunted. He watched the upside down scowl on his enemy's face.

"As if, Blood Traitor." Snape concentrated as he hung upside down and suddenly James felt like a sword had slashed through his chest. Uncomparable pain overtook him. Stars dotted his vision. He could feel the blood gushing from his wounds and his knees buckled as he hit the floor. Whatever rush he had got from duelling was gone and a sinking helplessness took it's place. Snape quickly said the countercurse for Regulus. He then walked over to James and sneered, "I wouldn't help you despite the tone of which you beg."

James vaguely felt spit land on his face. His vision going in and out. The two Slytherins must've gone back to their dormitories, because James laid there alone and very much dying. His groans of pain were not nearly loud enough to raise someone's attention. He could only think of how disappointed Lily would be. He could almost see the exact way she would frown when she heard he was duelling.

"I'm sorry Lily," James whispered. His vision was spotty and his thoughts were jumbled. He knew it was over.

"Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentura," A voice sang as James blacked out.

**AN: Okay stick with me here. Thanks to a very kind reviewer, I realized I left an entire chapter out of the story. My bad. I now realize that some of the story probably did not make sense. So here it is.**

* * *

~Lily~ Grief and Idiots

"What an idiot. You were lucky Professor Dumbledore went looking for you," Lily said after James told everyone what had happened the week before. James looked scandilized as he had been expecting some sympathy.

"Prongs, as much as I hate to admit it, but Red here is right," Sirius told him.

"Red?" Lily asked with an amused voice. Sirius shot her a grin.

"It's better than Lilybear," James said laughing. Lily had broken up with Edgar the moment she returned from Christmas break and James couldn't be happier.

"Oh sod off," Lily growled as she picked up her books and left. She saw Marlene waiting by the stairs for her, looking pissed off. She wasn't sure what Marlene has been so angry about today and she wasn't going to pry. If Marlene wanted to talk, then Lily would listen. That's how their friendship worked. Marlene didn't like people pressuring her to share her feelings so Lily never did.

"He's such an presumptious berk and I just detest him," Lily complained as they walked up the stairs. "Honestly, I tried being nice to him and he decided to come and revel in my breakup. A breakup which was partially his fault."

"Calling him an idiot isn't what I'd call being nice," Marlene said. Lily turned looking offended so she quickly said, "But it's better then hexing him." Lily couldn't help but laugh, she really does love her friends.

"I just don't see how he could possibly think attacking two Slytherins in the middle of the night by himself was a good idea. Especially Severus, everyone knows that he knows more curses then the 7th years," Lily said exasperated.

"I don't know why you even talk to him, Lils."

"You're right, I should just go back to ignoring Potter like I did our 2nd year. It would just be easier," Lily said.

"I meant Snape." Lily looked to her friend in shock. "Well like you said, he knows more dark magic then anyone. And as much as you detest Potter, he didn't deserve to die at Snape's hand," Marlene continued. Lily had a sinking feeling. She had been pushing that thought from her mind.

"Of course I don't want Potter dead. And Sev- he didn't actually leave Potter to die. He told Slughorn straight away and he told me the spell wouldn't have had lasting effects. He just wanted to scare Potter so he'd leave him alone," Lily relayed.

"Still, he used a curse, Lils. A curse not Ministry approved! That means he experiments with shady magic!" Marlene went on.

"He's just plain brilliant, Marls. He has some genius ideas and he dabbles a bit in Magic Theory, but he doesn't do anything dark. Severus is just misunderstood. He hasn't got it good at home and he was my first Hogwarts friend. I like him a lot," Lily explained.

"You don't like LIKE him, do you?" Marlene asked with wide eyes. Lily shook her head, she could never see Severus in that way. Severus Snape was her friend. Her best friend, besides Marlene. He matched her own brilliance and complemented her personality. And she loved him. She truly did, but not in any romantic sense. He was Severus, not exactly her type of guy.

"Ok good. At least Edgar washed his hair," Marlene said with a hollow laugh. Lily didn't like when people were mean to her friend. They didn't have to like Severus, but they should at least respect him.

"Hm, long stringy black hair. Kinda sounds like Sirius, don't you think?" Lily teased back.

"Shut up!" Marlene shouted angrily. Lily was startled.

"I was only joking," Lily said defencively. She should've expected an outburst at some point, but she wasn't sure what she did wrong. Marlene angrily opened her mouth to say something, but Mary burst inside looking dead serious.

"Did you guys hear?" Mary said quietly. Mary fiddled with her hands. Lily knew that to be her nervous trait.

"What is it?" Lily and Marlene chorused. Marlene's anger was forgotten. Mary came over and sat on the edge of the bed, still fiddling with her hands.

"There was another attack this week, this time in the Ministry. They had an inside man, I suppose," Mary said, avoiding looking at them in the eyes. Marlene, who's parents both worked in the Ministry shot up.

"Did anyone die?" Marlene asked breathlessly, as if she was scared to hear her answer. Mary only nodded. The room that had been filled with laughter was now dead silent.

"Who?" She breathed the word out. Unsure if she wanted to hear the response. Her voice was barely audible.

"Your mother," Mary said softly, "And Dorcas' dad and uncle too." Marlene sat there, she didn't cry or do much anything at all. She just sat their, very still and quiet. Lily looked at Mary and they both nodded.

"Come on, Marls. Let's go to Professor McGonagall," Lily said and the two girls directed Marlene towards door. No one said anything, but Lily planted her hand on Marlene's shoulder. She wanted to let Marlene know that she was there.

They went down the stairs. Marlene was in a stupor, almost. The Marauders were all downstairs sitting around a table, looking as if they were planning something. Lily ignored them as she concentrated on helping Marlene.

"What's wrong?" the boys called out. Marlene's face was blank and she looked especially pale.

"Sod off!" Marlene screeched as Sirius crowded her. He looked at her in shock and did as she said, looking extremely concerned. James tried to come over and talk but Sirius held him back. The girls moved along. Lily was barely aware of the silenced Common Room and eyes that followed them until they left the room.

"I'm so sorry, dear," The Fat Lady said as they exited the Common Room. Lily saw silent tears leak from Marlene's deep brown eyes.

Lily knocked on the Transfiguration classroom door and her teacher looked at them not surprised just saddened. As if she didn't want to believe this was happening.

"Thank you girls, you can go now," Professor McGonagall said softly. She put her arm caringly around Marlene who looked panicked. A look that wasn't often seen on Marlene's face.

"Would it be alright if we stayed with her, Professor?" Lily asked, but she wasn't really asking. She was not about to leave Marlene. Not until Marlene was going home. She hated that her friend was in pain. Professor McGonagall nodded and gently helped Marlene inside. The girls and their teacher sat there all night, talking and waiting for further word from Dumbledore on the attack. They learnt the details of the attack when Marlene fell asleep in her chair. Lily hoped that Marlene found a break from the madness in her sleep.

Their Professor told them that Death Eaters attempted to break into the Ministry by force. The perpetrators were masked, those who escaped the scene's identities remain unknown. The fought tooth and nail and the Ministry fought back. Or some of them did. Some didn't want to fight their family members or some wanted to be on what seemed to be the winning side. But the Aurors and Magical Law Enforcement as well as brave souls from other departments fought well. Quite a few Death Eaters were captured, but none died, where as quite a few more Ministry employees did die. Marlene's mom being one of the fighters. But most of the casualties were caught in the cross fire. Even hearing the events retold made Lily's heart burn with fury and compassion. An odd pairing, but it was true. She felt such hate for Death Eaters, but her heart went out to those who's family members died. Her compassion only increased when Marlene stirred from her nap. Her eyes looked tortured. Her expression seemed broken. Irreparable.

"Have a biscuit, Miss McKinnon," the woman said. Marlene shook her head and trembled. They sat in silence for a moment when a large red phoenix flew through the doors. It dropped a scroll into her professor' lap. Only moments after Professor McGonagall said, "Miss McKinnon you are going to be sent home for as long as you need. Your father is waiting for you with your brother." Sobs shook Marlene's body. It all felt so much more real now that Marlene was leaving. She was leaving school to return to her house that was missing a member and would remain like that forever.

"Portus," Professor McGonagall said pointing her wand at a gold cup on her desk. Lily knew that that was illegal, she had read all about it, but it didn't seem important at the moment. Marlene grabbed onto the gold cup and with a blue flash of light, she was gone.

"The pair of you should get back to your dormitories, it's almost morning."

"Yes Professor," Lily said drained. She felt like crying herself but she knew she had to be strong for her friend.

~James~ More than Quidditch

James couldn't take it. He couldn't handle how the bad guys were winning. He hated how Snape left him to die and couldn't care less. How Lily didn't bat an eye. He hated how Voldemort was able to kill people. And not randomly, he's attempting genocide. How do people become such monsters, so inhumane. He hated how an Auror was a job. Why was it necessary to catch Dark wizards, why would people would even use Dark magic. It all disgusted him. He was all for pranks and such, but only harmless things. And people believed he pranked randomly, but he didn't, not anymore at least. He went for the people who associated with Dark magic. He humiliated the people who hated werewolves or house-elves or muggleborns. James wasn't a simple person, he had this need for justice and a burning hatred for those who escaped it. He's do anything to protect the innocent. That's why he befriended Sirius, Remus, and Peter. All Sirius wanted was to be different than his family and James knew it. All Remus wanted was not to be discriminated against so James didn't just be his friend, he decided to help Remus during the Full Moons putting himself at risk. And all Peter wanted was to be seen and have some attention. So James, the popular Quidditch star, included him. James helped people who needed it and all he wanted to do was help Lily. He just couldn't figure out how, because frankly, she hated him. Spring Break was nearing and he was running out of time before the term ended.

"Prongs? Do you think we need to resupply our Dungbombs or do you think we'll have enough for the prank?" Sirius asked thoughtfully. They had been planning on throwing loads of Dungbombs into Filch's office, because last week Filch got them thrown into detention for being out after bed.

"A wise wizard once said, 'One can never have too many Dungbombs'" James said with a laugh. He faltered when he saw Lily come into view.

"We should stop by Zonko's after tonight-" Sirius began.

"Evans!" James called out. She spun on her heels to face him and a scowl appeared.

"What is it, Potter?" Lily responded as she continued to walk away. James hurried to catch up to her.

"I just wanted to see if you knew how Marlene and Dorcas are doing," James asked nicely. Remus told him that if he wanted to win her over he needed to be nice, but it was hard because she wanted nothing to do with him. She looked at him in surprise then suspicion.

"They are both at home right now. Why?" Lily asked carefully.

"What am I not allowed to care?" James asked. He was beginning to think the nice approach was absolute rubbish. How did his simple question offend her? He only wanted to know how they were doing. It wasn't like Marlene was responding to any of Sirius' letters anyways.

"I've never seen you care about anything other than Quidditch, that's all," Lily said calmly. "Although Marlene is on the Quidditch team so I guess it makes sense."

That made his blood boil. The nerve of her to say something like that. He prided himself on how much he cared about other people, but he decided he didn't want to blow up about it.

"Is that really what you think of me? I care about a lot of things, including you," James said. He left Lily standing there with her mouth open, but James couldn't think of anything except how pretty she looks when she's upset.

Lily ignored James for the remainder of the week and James hated it. He wasn't sure why she was mad at him. He tried asking Lily's friends but they were no help. He would've been completely miserable except tonight was the full moon so he got to have a bit of fun. Maybe fun wasn't the right word for the painful transformation Remus endured, but nontheless James looked forward to it. Things were easier as a stag. Less complicated.

"Moony, you ready for tonight?" James asked at breakfast. Remus nodded nervously. He hardly touched his food, a common symptom on the day of the full moon. Sirius on the other hand ate like a wolf, or a dog rather.

"What's tonight?" Peter asked confused. Sirius shook his head disapprovingly but James said with a laugh, "Our midnight stroll in the moonlight." Lily looked over to them, processing what they said.

"Hey Moony, where d'you think we should go?" Sirius said as he wolfed down his food.

"I'd say the Shack'll do for tonight," Remus responded quietly. But someone's ears were close enough to catch their conversation. Lily's eyes narrowed and James saw her. Oh no, he thought.

**AN: Again so sorry about that. I'll go post Chapter 16 now. Thanks again to the reviewer!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Uncovering Secrets

What could it all mean? Could their nicknames be related to everything? They hadn't had them before the start of the year excpet for Remus. They had called him Moony since 2nd year. She knew they called James-Prongs, Peter-Wormtail, but what did they call Sirius? Something with a P, maybe Pudding. The boy did eat a lot of pudding, she thought. But what did their 'midnight stroll in the moonlight' mean. Everyone knew that the Marauders left the castle often, they practically could go anywhere without getting caught. What made tonight different? She told herself that after her afternoon classes she would head to the library right away, because Spring Break began on Friday and she wouldn't be able to research it at home.

"Excuse me, Madam Pince?" Lily said.

"Yes, dear."

"Where would I find a book with the Full Moon Schedule?" Lily asked. During Charms she remembered that they had written that in James' journal. Madam Pince looked at her perplexed.

"You're the second 5th year this week that has asked that. I wouldn't expect the 5th years to be studying werewolves," Madam Pince said as she picked the book up from her desk. Lily looked at her in shock.

"Are you alright, dear?" Madam Pince asked. Lily gulped and nodded quickly. She ran to the furthest table in the library and took out her parchment and quill. She wrote down everything she learnt so far and what it would mean:

Full Moon Schedule- Werewolf?

Advanced Potions- Animagi

Furry little problem- ?

Stroll in Moonlight- Full Moon TONIGHT!

That could only mean one thing: one of the Marauders is a Werewolf. Madam Pince was right, 5th years don't learn about werewolves, 3rd years do. Supposedly werewolves are extremely dangerous and wizards are very discriminative against them. But that didn't exactly fit any of the Marauders. All of them were so popular, mostly James and Sirius' doing, but all of their names held weight. James and Sirius were insufferable foul gits, but they never actually hurt anyone. Except James tried duelling some Slytherins, but she didn't think he could be a werewolf. Lily figured that Sirius' family would disown him if he was a werewolf, because they almost did because he was a Gryffindor. And Peter seemed to be too much of a weak-link to go through that endeavor every month. But Remus... hm. They call Remus 'Moony' and he did tend to disappear once a month. Then there was Snape's theory too.

Remus Lupin is a werewolf. A freaking werewolf. He changes from the caring boy she knows into a beast once a month. She couldn't help but pity him. Not pity, pity is the wrong word. She admired his strength. Not just anyone could handle having their life being torn apart each and every month. Lily packed up her things and rushed back to the Common Room.

She raced up the stairs to the boys dormitory and knocked. After no response she creaked the door open. Their room was downright disgusting. Clothes were strewn everywhere and old food from the Great Hall was littered everywhere. Homework and other parchment added to the mess. She saw inkwells and old quills on the ground among crumpled chocolate frog cards and Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans cartons. But in a more peculiar way, one of their walls were covered in small pieces of parchment. ON each parchment were a few words. She read some of them:

'Blew Betram Aubrey's head up twice it's size because he was making fun of a Muggleborn first year'

'Dyed every Slytherin's hair red and gold for a week'

'Disillusioned Mulciber's clothes cause he was gonna curse Mary'

'Scared Snape senseless in Grim form'

'Levitate Professor Dumbledore during end of term feast'

'Transfigured Rosier into a toad because he tried to force a third year to go out with him'

'Turned floating candles into a lion at Beginning of term feast to show house pride'

'Gave Narcissa antlers to match Prongs, because she called a second year a you-know-what'

'Clogged every school toliet except Moaning Myrtles(even the Prefect's props to Moony) for a month'

'Charmed every teacher to speak Gobblededuck for a day'

'Every Slytherin spoke in only rhymes for a week'

'Used Permanent Sticking Charm on Door into Divination because it's too bloody boring to go to'

'Gave Severus a haircut...'

'Dyed Evans hair neon pink because she hates me'

Their infamous pranks listed on and on, all posted on the wall. Even Lily had to be impressed, they needed incredible magic to do all of that. Of course she would never forgive them for dying her hair pink in their 1st year and they were rather cruel to some people, but it was still impressive. But there was one that hadn't been put up yet, it appeared that they were waiting for the end of 7th year to do that one. A parting gift, she supposed. Lily looked around the room and realized she should probably get out because she was obviously too late, they were gone.

~James~ A Win and a Loss

James didn't want the term to end. Usually he was excited to go off and travel the world with his parents or go see the Quidditch World Cup, like last year, but this summer they were doing nothing. No extravagent adventures or fun excursions. This year, ever since the attack on Hogsmeade, his father has got progressively worse and worse. He sunk into a state of depression, because he felt guilty about letting Marcus Stein die. His father felt like it was his fault, or at least James figured as much. His father wasn't talking too much these days. Over James' two week break spent at home, his father barely said three words to him altogether. And his mother was worried sick all the time, so James wasn't really looking forward to three monthes of it. James couldn't believe it, he was looking forward to exams more than going back home!

"What's wrong Prongs?" Sirius asked. James looked up, disrupted from his thoughts.

"Nothing, mate. We'd better get to the match though," James said as he began racing his friend. The pair of them had just got out of detention and needed to hurry to make it to their final match. He knew that Professor MccGonagoll would never forgive them if they didn't make it to the match on time. So they quickly changed into their Quidditch robes and hurried onto the pitch.

They walked out onto the field to a enormus eruption of cheers. most of the crowd had branded themselves with Gryffindor colours. From flags to scarves to large banners, most of the crowd were rooting for them. Although sandwiched between the Slytherin goalposts were the Slytherin fans. With their silver and green memorabelia and Slughorn cheerily sitting up front.

"Finally, Gryffindor Captain, James Potter, and Beater, Sirius Black, have shown up. Potter, a Chaser turned Captain this year. Who'd ever think he'd be given a responsibility like that. Especially when he was so keen to let all his friends on the team. I'd guess by next year he'll have recruited Pettigrew to play with them," Dirk Cresswell announced. Dirk had been dating Delia before James did and Dirk would never forgive him.

"Dirk!" McGonagall said. She never let the announcers take the mickey on any of her players, especially not James. She had a soft spot for him for some reason. Apparantly she had been an exceptional player back in her day too.

"Sorry Professor. And for Gryffindor we have Stillsap, Potter, McKinnon, Thompson, Higgins, Black, and Khan. Both Stillsap and Khan are new to the team this year. Lance, brother of Archie Stillsap, last year's Captain, wasn't taken onto the team by his own brother in the year prior. Interesting seeing as Lance hasn't failed to catch the Snitch once this season-"

"Cresswell we don't need your play by play in family gossip, do we?" McGonagoll yelled.

"Just a bit of information, Professor. And here comes Slytherin team. Their line up includes Black, Flint, Moonshine, Wilkes, Vanity, Talkalot, and Bletchley. Look at that: the two Blacks are facing up again. I hear that the two of them don't get along so well. Something about the elder Black being the first one ever to be in Gryffindor. I wonder-" Dirk Cresswell stopped talking after a very stern look from McGonagoll and one from Sirius. Sirius, however looked all too ready to throw his bat at Dirk.

"Well look at that Madam Hooch is beginning the game. This should be an exciting one. There's always tension between Slytherin and Gryffindor during Quidditch and especially during the Inter-House Quidditch Cup."

"Captain shake hands," Madam Hooch said. James stepped forward as did Emma Vanity. James didn't know much about the tall strong girl who was firmly shaking his hand. He did know that she wasn't a bad Slytherin. She wasn't prejudiced or hateful. But she had deadly aim on Bludgers on the Quidditch Pitch and she wasn't afraid to knock someone to the ground.

"Mount your brooms," Madam Hooch said. Then with her whistle between her teeth, she counted down, "Three. Two. One!"

Madam Hooch whistled loudly and siganlled for the game to begin. James sped forward on his Nimbus 1500 to grab the quaffle. He barrel rolled and dodged bludgers coming at him. It was a good thing that Marlene came back, she's an excellent Chaser and the team really needs her. James threw the Quaffle to her as Magnus Flint, a Slytherin Chaser, came crashing into him. James clashed back into his opponent, trying to give Marlene as much time as he could. He could see her looking to pass, so James sped into position as their Beater's were preoccupied with her. Marlene saw James get into her line of vision and she threw the Quaffle, just barely missing an oncoming bludger as it passed. James couldn't help but grin seeing as no one stood between him and their Keeper. He felt like time slowed down, as the wind blew through his hair. The Keeper looked nervous as he fidgeted on his broom, waiting for James to throw it. And James didn't disappoint, he threw the Quaffle into the centre hoop as the Keeper moved to the left.

"And Potter with the goal! That's 10 points to Gryffindor! And despite him being a girlfriend stealing git, he does win a lot of games!" Cresswell announces. McGonagall opens her mouth to yell at Dirk but she's too busy cheering. The crowd cheered loudly, they loved their Quidditch star. And James, Marlene, and Millie kept them cheering for the rest of the game. They scored goal after goal and the Slytherins only scored a few in comparison.

"Padfoot!" James yelled as he flew past him, "Keep your eyes on the Bludgers, not McKinnon's backside!" Sirius grinned sheepishly and smashed a Bludger towards Slytherin's seeker, Regulus Black. James could tell that Sirius was all too excited to hit the Bludger at his brother. Millie Thompson flew past James, ducking and dodging opponents and Bludgers. She feinted right as Selene Moonshine slammed up against her. Marlene flew on Millie's right side to open herself for the pass and James decided to take care of Selene. He flew annoyingly close to the Slytherin Chaser, pushing up against in order to give Millie a chance to get away.

"Millie Thompson, Gryffindor Chaser and Head Girl, has the Quaffle. She demonstrates some incredible flying manuevers as she dodges the Slytherin Chaser. James Potter took the position of Captain although Thompson is older. A surprising choice given Potter's behavioural issues. Professor, would you care to comment on your decision?" Dirk announced.

"Cresswell!" McGonagall shouted. James saw Dirk flinch at the sound of her voice and James grinned.

"Sorry Professor!" he was quick to shout. James took a moment to survey the crowds. He searched the Gryffidor section, feeling a surge of pride as he realized that Gryffindor's cheering section outnumbered Slythein's by loads more than he had thought. He kept looking, hoping to spot Lily. A bludger whizzed past his shoulder and Sirius sped past not too far behind.

"Keep your eyes on the Quaffle, not Evans, would you?" Sirius grinned. James turned his broom around and opened up for the Quaffle. He sped, dove, turn, and did every single manuever and trick he knew to get the Slytherins off his tail. He had attracted about half the team in his escape. Both Beaters attempted to pelt him with Bludgers and James did a decent job at dodging them, until their Captain launched a Bludger that made contact with his shoulder. Hard.

James swore beneath his breath as his shoulder bellowed out in pain. James' broom spun sideways, recklessly and losing control. James reached back out for the broom, despite the pain and redirected it out of the main fire from his ambitious and relentless opponents.

"James Potter gets slammed with a Bludger after an unsucessful feat of somewhat unimpressive fancy swerves and dives. See right there! Millie Thompson, that beautiful girl, dodged a Bludger and managed to score. Potter you'd best be taking notes-" Dirk announced.

"Cresswell you'd best quit talking to my players," McGonagoll said to him.

"Won't happen again, honest," Dirk promised. McGonagoll pursed her lips and returned to watch the match. James doing his best to ignore the pain in his shoulder, returned into the heat of the match. Getting open passes from Marlene and scoring three times straight. James spitefully grinned and looked up at Dirk Cresswell, sitting in the stands announcing the game. A moment later, Dirk's eyes turned up to the skies, squinting to get a better look.

"Is it just me, or does it appear like Lance Stillsap has spotted the Snitch!?" James scanned the sky to see if he could spot Lance. And sure enough, Lance was chasing a small fluttering golden ball with an outstretched hand. James watched the scene play out, holding his breath. Slytherin Beater and Captain, Emma Vanity launched a Bludger towards Lance and no one could do anything to stop it. Suddenly his outstretched hand closed and it seemed like the entire stadium held their breath, not making a single sound. Lance raised his arm victoriously and flew towards his teammates. The Bludger dodged and the Snitch caught.

The team flew to the centre hugging, screaming, and crying. Everyone tackled James and Marlene. But James flew to the announcer stand pushing Dirk out of the way and said, "I'd like to thank the team, for putting in all this time and effort, Professor McGonagall, for being the best Head of House we could ask for, Sirius Black for being an excellent Beater, and I'd finally like to ask Lily Evans to be my girlfriend." Every head in the stadium turned to Lily, whose face turned an unhealthy shade of red. Her face scrunched up when she saw James' grin and she stormed off.

"Well that wasn't a no," James said before returning to his team. James hoped she'd come around eventually.

"Party in the Common Room!" Millie said to the team in the Changing Room.

"Sure you can permit that, Head Girl?" James teased.

"If you aren't careful Potter, you'll end up Head Boy," Millie joked. She ruffled his hair and continued back up to the Common Room. James looked to Sirius.

"Well I sure hope not," James said. "Imagine that, a Marauder as Head Boy?"

"Quit thinking so far ahead. We have a party to attend and Firewhiskey to drink," Sirius replied with a wicked grin. He raced up the stairs to the 7th floor, leaving James as the last one in the dressing room. They won, they won the Quidditch House Cup with James leading them. He could still feel the adrenaline rush, the elation from being on the pitch. To James there wasn't a better feeling in the world.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Suspecting Suspicious Snakes

Lily really didn't have enough time to deal with James Potter and his antics, she had exams to study for O.W.L.'s. In her entire academic career she was always demeaned when she was worried about a test. She'd be told, 'You always do good' or 'You could never fail a test'. But what these people didn't understand is that just because she hasn't failed yet doesn't mean she will never fail. And the only reason she does well is because she studies, and if she slacks off, failing becomes a possibility. She isn't a born genius like James or Sirius, who have never studied a day in their life. And she isn't like Peter who just doesn't care enough to try, he used to try but his results never bore any fruit so he has stopped trying. She is most similar to Remus, the two of them both study and try and are afraid of failure. Lily knew his secret and she figures that him being a werewolf and her being a Muggleborn, that they both want to know that they truly belong. And for Lily, she never grew up knowing about Hogwarts or magic. Magic was a thing of fairy tales and books, and learning that she was a witch made her feel like that could easily be taken away from her. If she failed they might send her home or make her forget about the magical world. Now that Lily knows about an entire race she was a part of, she would do anything to be able to continue to be a part of it. She'd put up with people calling her a nerd or overacheiver. She'd never complain about her homework because she is studying MAGIC after all(and Muggle homework was much more difficult anyway). When Professor McGonagall first came to her house to explain magic to her, she made a pact to herself: I will do anything to be treated as an equal. And so she worked harder than everyone else, she was called the brightest witch of her age, but she wanted more. Lily wanted to do something that would help her realize that blood status had nothing to do with anything.

Lily sighed as she put her textbooks back into her bag. She promised that she would meet with Severus in the library. Lily was doing her best to mend the issues in their friendship, but it was exhausting.

"Hey Sev," Lily said trying not to sound sad. Severus' black eyes stood out against his sallow face. His rigid expression relaxed a bit when he spotted her.

"Lily," Severus said pleasantly, "How are you?"

"As well as can be expected," Lily said watching his eyes look concerned then guilty.

"What happened? Did they get you?" Severus rambled with wide eyes, "I should've stopped them."

"Did who get me? And you should've stopped what?" Lily pressed. Severus quickly realized that whatever he thought happened, didn't and that he was definitely going to owe her an explanation.

"Oh, I just overheard Mulciber and Avery talking," Severus tried to play it off, but Lily knew there was more to the story.

"What did they say?"

"Just about trying out these new spells they learnt," Severus said quietly again.

"Curses... to try on Muggleborns," Lily said in almost a whisper. He nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Oh."

"We should probably start studying for our Defence Against the Dark Arts exam then," Severus added, desperate to change the subject. Lily was still staring at him, squirming in his chair. She couldn't stand the people he hung around, but she couldn't do a thing to change it.

"Yeah, I suppose we should," Lily said after several moments. How could she be friends with someone whose other friends hated her? And how come Severus wasn't going to stop them now? She shouldn't be thinking these sorts of things. After all Severus has always been there for her and he told her all about the magical world. Although he did lie when he said that blood status didn't matter, because evidently it did matter to him. Lily sighed, it wouldn't be healthy to dwell on such matters.

~James~ A Beginning and an End

James lounged at his desk in the Great Hall, awaiting his exam to begin. He really wasn't worried, this class wasn't exactly difficult for him. But then again, none of his classes were particularly difficult. He waved over to Sirius who was placed four seats behind him.

"Hey Prongsy! Good luck mate," Sirius yelled loudly, although they were close by.

"You too Padfoot!" James shouted back, earning him a stern look from Flitwick. But James knew that his Charms teacher had a soft spot for him. Most of his teachers did, despite his behavioural issues.

"Begin your exams, please. And no more talking," Flitwick said with his voice raised. James smirked and began writing on his parchment. Sunshine streamed through the great big windows and James loved the sound of the scratching of quills. He'd never admit it, but he actually enjoyed learning. He just figured that people needed to relax the rules a bit.

James began his exam with ease. When he reached the essay portion, James' hand flew across the page. He wrote quickly and without pausing. Ideas just sprung in his mind and he didn't think twice as he wrote it down. His hand-writing was large yet neat. He was confident in his answers to say the least.

"Five more minutes!" Flitwick yelled. Several people around him jumped into the air. Flitwick walked right past him and James sat up straight again. He wanted Flitwick to realize he was done already, but he didn't take notice as far as James could tell. James put his quill down and quickly reread what he had written. Everything seemed fine and checking his answers bored him tremendously.

James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then with a glance toward Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius. His friend was casually tilting back his chair on two legs, he had seemingly finished early too. Sirius grinned and shot him a thumb's up. Delia was sitting directly behind Sirius, hoping to attract James' attention again, but James paid her no notice. They were long over. And James instead looked over to Remus, sitting two over from Sirius. His other friend was still working and looked a bit nervous as he scratched his chin with his quill. James tried to make eye contact with Moony but he was either too concentrated or ignoring him.

James grabbed a piece of scratch parchment and began doodling. He began with drawing a very intricate Snitch. He nicked one from Filch earlier that day and he could feel it in his pocket. He drew the wings with precision and expertise, but after a while he got bored. His hands absentmindedly started tracing an L and an E. No, he thought, no one can see that. He covered up the scratch piece of parchment with his exam but Flitwick squeaked, "Quills down, please! That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect you parchment! Accio!"

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. A couple students laughed, but a few in the front row got up and lifted him onto his feet again.

"Thank you... thank you," panted Flitwick, "Very well, everybody you're free to go!" James quickly crossed out the L.E., jumped up and stuffed his things into his bag. He walked over to wait for Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they left the hall.

"Loved it," Remus said briskly. "'Give 5 signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James said sarcastically.

"Think I did," the werewolf said seriously, as they joined the crowd leaving the castle. "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

Peter was the only one who didn't laugh, "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else-"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" James said with a huff, "You run around with a werewolf once a month-"

"Keep your voice down," Remus pleaded. James looked back and Snape was still nearby, with his head buried in his exam questions still.

"Well, I thought that exam was a piece of cake," Sirius said boisterously, "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding'."

"Me too," James said taking the Golden Snitch out of his pocket.

"Where'd you get that?" Peter said in amazement. His eyes were wide with excitement.

"Nicked it," James said as he played with the Snitch. He let it fly away a bit before catching it again. He felt Wormtail's eyes glued on it in awe. They settled beneath a beech tree and sat on the cool grass. James spotted a gaggle of girls heading down to the lake without socks. It looked like the Gryffidor girls, meaning that Lily was with them. Their giggles were easily heard, but James watched the deep blue lake water glittering from the sun.

The four boys sat lazily about. Remus, not surprisingly, took out a book on Transfiguration. Sirius stared at some students, looking bored. And Peter still watched James, practically with his jaw dropped, as he continued to catch the Snitch. He'd even go as far as applaud if James made a particularly good catch. James didn't mind though, he loved Peter despite his lack of social skills. Between each catch, James would allow himself a moment to fix his hair and see if Lily by the lake was looking his way.

"Put it away, will you. Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement," Sirius said slightly annoyed after James made a particularly good catch. Peter turned red in the face, but James grinned.

"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing it in his pocket.

"I'm bored. I wish it was the full moon," Sirius pouted. His long black hair covered his face as the breeze blew towards them.

"You might," Remus said darkly from behind his book, "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here..."

"I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all," Sirius snorted as Remus held his book out.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is..." Sirius' head turned in a doglike fashion.

"Excellent," he said softly, "Snivellus." Snape was walking back towards the school, stuffing his papers into his bag. James and Sirius jumped up.

"All right, Snivellus?" James said loudly. Snape spun around, dropping his bag and reaching for his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" James shouted first. Snape' wand flew up and over to the grass behind him. Snape rushed to his wand but James was too quick again, "Impedimenta!" Snape tripped onto the grass and students turned to watch. Snape laid panting, while James and Sirius advanced.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James asked.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word," Sirius added. Several people laughed as Snape attempted to get up but the jinx still had him struggling.

"You-wait," he panted, "You wait!"

"Wait for what? What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?" Sirius said coolly. Snape cursed at them, but nothing happened. James remembered all to well what Snape could do. But this time he wouldn't let Snape get the better of him, not this time.

"Wash you mouth. Scourgify!" James said coldly. He wanted Snape to know not to mess with James Potter.

"Leave him ALONE!" Lily called out as she charged up towards them. James quickly fixed his hair.

"All right, Evans?" James said as pleasantly as he could. Lily had been ignoring him the past few weeks since the Quidditch match.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated, "What's he done to you?"

"It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..." James said laughing. Students burst into laughter, but not Lily. The thing was that Lily should've known what James had against Snape.

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!"

"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant Squid," Lily said angrily. James could see her face getting red.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly. "OI!" Snape had got up and directed his wand at James' back. James felt a burst of pain in the side of his face as blood splattered his robes. James whirled around and thought, "Levicorpus," This time Snape's wand fell to the ground and his robes fell over his head to reveal his pale legs and grey underwear. The crowd cheered. Lily's face twitched as if she wanted to laugh, but she held her front.

"Let him down!"

"Certainly," James said, jerking his wand upwards. Snape fell in a crumpled heap. Sirius quickly said, "Petrificus Totalus." Snape fell over, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily cried out. She whipped her wand out, pointing it at James, who remembered her affinity of making people heads grow.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said warily.

"Take the curse off him, then!" Lily shouted, pointing her wand again. James sighed deeply, he didn't want to upset Lily. That was never his intent, so he muttered the countercurse.

"There, you were lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Snape shouted angrily. A gasp came from the crowd, but Lily only blinked. Her face was indifferent as she spoke, "Fine. I won't bother you in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus." James could've kissed her for saying that to Snape, if he wasn't so angry with Snape.

"Apologise to Evans!" James roared, pointing his wand threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologise. You're as bad as he is!" Lily said. James took a step back in surprise. Me, he thought, as bad as Snape?

"What!? I'd never call you a you-know-what!" James yelped, his voice an octave or two higher.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." Lily shouted with tears in her eyes. She spun on her heels and stalked off towards the castle, leaving James and Snape in shock.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!" She didn't even look back. James stood there in shock. How could he let her think that of him.

"What is it with her?" James said trying to pretend her words didn't hurt him. Sirius looked at him sympathetically, "Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate."

"Right... right," James muttered. He looked to where Lily had stood, with her flowing dark red hair and brilliant green eyes, telling him that he was as bad as Snape. He banished the thoughts from his head, and began to mess around with Snape again. Snape also looked lost and in a daze. He didn't even fight back as James hung him upside down again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Tears from a Filthy Mudblood

Filthy Mudblood. Filthy Mudblood. Filthy Mudblood.

Lily felt like crying, but she didn't want to cry over Snape. So she cried over James, or she tried at least. That stupid git, James Potter. Why did he have to be so infuriating. She knew Severus wasn't the easiest to be around and she knew that Severus certainly said the things he said on his own accord, but she hated how James targeted him. James and Lily saw the same thing in Snape: he was one of Lily's closest friends. Lily viewed it as her first connection to the Wizarding World. But James saw him as something that he wished he shared with Lily instead of Severus. She sat in her empty dormitory doing absolutely nothing except replay the scene over in her head. Mudblood, what a horrible word. Dirty blood, common Muggle. For years, Lily's friends told her that Snape wasn't worth it. That he was just like his horrible Death Eater friends, and she didn't want to believe them. She forgave him time after time after time, when he ignored her or didn't stop his friends from taunting her. But now this was unforgivable.

"Lily! Snivellus is outside! He says he refuses to move unless you come out," Mary told her when she walked into the dormintory, "He's threatening to sleep out there."

"Tell him to sod off," Lily said, wiping the tears that weren't there.

"You should've heard Marlene. She even threw a few hexes in for good measure, but he's insistent. He didn't even draw his wand. It's a bit pathetic really," Mary continued, "I suppose we can just leave him out there."

"No it's alright. I'll go," Lily said to her friend. She didn't want Snape harassing everyone to let him in all night. She walked over to the portrit door and swung it open. She saw Severus and his sallow face and his greasy hair. She stepped down and crossed her arms, she waited for him to talk.

"I'm sorry," Snape blurted out. He seemed startled that she was even there.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!" Snape insisted. Lily was getting tired of the conversation, bored even. If saying he was sorry was the best he could do then it wasn't worth it for her to give him another chance.

"Save your breath," She told him, "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-" Snape rambled. But Lily was furious, she couldn't listen to him lie to her anymore.

"Slipped out?" Lily said callously, "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends." Lily paused for a moment, half-hoping he'd defend himself.

"You see, you don't even deny it! You don't deny that's what you're aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" Lily yelled in his face. He opened his mouth, but closed it without saying a word. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No. Listen, I didn't mean-" Snape stuttered.

"To call me Mudblood!? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" Snape stood there squirming, trying to find the words to make everything better. But he was too late, Lily turned around and climbed into the portrait hole. She stomped all the way up to her room, without any regard for the people who called her name in concern. Now real tears who flowing. She supposed they were long overdue. It was a miserable end to the year but at least Severus Snape was out of her life.

~James~ Escaping

When James arrived home, things at the Potter Manor were quite dreary. His father was very sickly looking. He had the same unkempt mess of black hair on his head as James did, but these days it was thinning and had more gray than black. He was hardly doing anything besides sleeping and refused to go to St. Mungos. His mother, on the other hand, was worried sick about her husband. This left James very much alone, bored, and unsure of the future. But that all changed in mid-July.

"James, James Potter!" A voice whispered urgently. James recognised Sirius' voice and quickly whipped his mirror out of his pocket.

"Sirius? You alright mate?" James asked. Sirius looked scared, and he wasn't exactly one to show his feelings. His left eye was covered in blood and almost swollen shut. This was the first communicaion James had had with Sirius in weeks.

"No, no I'm not alright. I-I need your help, Prongs please," Sirius' voice cracked. James watched as his friend's eyes teared up.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know," Sirius rambled, "Er... I um." James peered at the mirror, looking to see if he recognised where Sirius was. He past by shops, then a colourful little cart with a cheerful looking man outside it. The ice cream parlour!

"Diagon Alley!" James shouted, "I'm coming Padfoot. Stay there!" James put his mirror back in his pocket and raced downstairs. How's he going to get there? Side-Apparation is out because his dad is bed-stricken and his mum needs to watch him. Floo Powder? No they had ran out last week and James was going to buy some this afternoon. Brooms? It looked like it was his only option. London wasn't all that far, James thought hopefully. He grabbed his broom and rushed out the door. He needed to find Sirius.

James hopped off his broom and raced through the Leaky Cauldron. People shouted his name as he passed, but he paid them no mind. He tapped the bricks with his wand, trying to remember what the pattern was. He thankfully got it right so he ran through the crowds, bumping into people. James could do nothing but shout sorry as he passed. James reached the old man's ice cream stand and didn't see Sirius. He took out his mirror again and called out, "Sirius Black." After a few moments his friend's head appeared.

"Where are you?"

"Flourish and Blotts, second bookshelf from the back." Sirius said, slightly less frantic. James nodded and began to put the mirror away.

"You don't seriously carry a hand mirror around, do you?" someone asked. James spun around and stared into the bright emerald eyes of Lily Evans. Her face was lightly tanned from the summer break. James was surprised she was speaking to him, given how the school year had ended, but maybe she couldn't resist poking fun at him.

"Lily!" James said shocked, "Let's just say it's not- it's not for checking my hair. And I'd love to catch up with you, but I'm in a bit of a hurry. See you!" James said, he restrained from fixing his hair because he remembered how she hates him doing that. Lily looked surprised and confused, giving him a half wave of sorts. James sprinted down the streets pushing through the crowds. He almost passed Flourish and Blotts, but he with the speed of a Chaser he burst through the doors. James looked down each bookshelf, trying to remember which one he had said.

"Down here, Prongs."

"OI! Padfoot, what happened?" James exclaimed. Sirius was in much worse condition then he had thought. He looked unhealthily skinny and pale and his eye was all sorts of messed up.

"I... my parents," Sirius said weakly. James rushed over to give his friend a hug. They embraced for several moments. James saw all new sorts of cuts, yellowish bruises, and Sirius' shaking hands.

"It'll be ok, mate. I'll get you back to my house," James put his arm around his friend and held him up as he shuddered. The two boys walked up to the front counter slowly. Unknowing to James, a certain red-headed young girl had followed him inside. She watched in shock and horror at the state of Sirius and the way James took care of him.

"Excuse me sir?" James said politely yet urgent, "May we use your fireplace? My friend here needs to get help." The man looked at Sirius' ragged figure horrified and quickly nodded.

"Thank you loads, I'll pay you for the Floo powder," James said, "Potter Manor!" And they disappeared into green smoke, out of view from the red-headed girl. James stumbled out into his fireplace with Sirius waiting for him.

"MUM! Come quick!" James yelled. He helped Sirius onto their couch and waited for his mum to come.

"What is it dear? Your father really does need me," his mother said. She looked at her frantic son with his best friend lying on their couch. "Sirius, oh dear. What happened? Merlin's beard, I'll be right back!" James' mum ran to grab her wand. She was muttering under her breath, clearly upset.

"What's all this ruckus?" Mr. Potter said irratibly coming out of his room. James hadn't seen him out of bed all week, but at the moment Sirius was the more pressing issue. James' mother was working hard away at fixing up Sirius. She was using all sorts of healing spells and different potions and remedies. He had several deep gashes and new scars lining his body. And he was way too skinny, James could count his rib bones when Sirius took off his shirt. In the spots where he wasn't black and blue, he was a sickly white. But James' mum knew what she was doing. And although he wasn't fixed, he certainly looked better an hour later.

"Oh, Sirius. I bet your starving. Let me go whip you something up," Euphemia Potter gushed, running off to the kitchen.

"Only if it's not too much trouble," Sirius said weakly. James rushed over to his friend and held his hand. Fear shook James' heart, extending tendrils of coldness, showing him true horror.

"What happened?" James asked at long last.

"Prongs, it was my parents. They had had enough of me, when I told them that I planned on fighting against You-Know-Who, unlike my brother," Sirius spoke rapidly. He took a deep breath to continue, "They wouldn't let me leave my room. That's why I couldn't answer your letters, I'm sure they intercepted my owls. And that wretched house-elf, Kreature, only fed me every other day. The only time I saw my lovely parents was when they decided to give me another chance to change my mind." From his bitter tone, James could figure out what hose chances led to. Those injuries didn't come from no where.

"I barely escaped, James. I was chained to my bed and my wand was held in a cabinet. For a month I tried to get out and I was so so stupid. I was trying to learn wandless magic, because I was that desperate. But then when they left Grimmauld Place I remembered I could turn into the Grim, it got me out of the chains and...and I raced down to get my wand, Regulus saw me leaving. I tried to convince him to come with me, but he refused. He said he couldn't betray our family or his House. But he wanted me to stay. And that was off the table, so I Flooed to Diagon Alley. I couldn't think of anywhere else to go and well I'm sorry for coming unexpected and..." Sirius rambled looking crazed. James watched Sirius' upper lip tremble and tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

"Dear boy, you haven't a thing to be sorry for. You escaped your family and stood up for what you believed in. Very brave, very brave indeed," James' father said. He sat across the room and James had forgot he was even there. The odd thing was that his father was smiling. James hadn't seen his father this productive in weeks. He was out of bed, talking, and smiling. He was a little closer to being Dad again.

"I do try," Sirius said with a weak smile. James' dad always liked Sirius when he came to visit over the summers. But most importantly James knew that Sirius would be ok.

"Standing up against family is the hardest thing, and for you to do that shows your true character," his dad explained. James wondered if his Dad was speaking from experience. James never had met his grandparents, granted they weren't alive when James was born, but still his father never spoke of them.

"They aren't my family, not my parents at least. And I'll turn seventeen real soon and I'll be able to buy a flat for myself," Sirius told them.

"What are you going to do until then?" James asked.

"I could try and find my cousin, Dromeda. I think I told you that she married a Muggleborn, Ted Tonks," Sirius said.

"Alright, but how would you pay for your flat or any of your books if you are disowned?" James questioned. He didn't think Sirius was thinking this through.

"I dunno, it'll all work out-"

"Boys! Come for lunch!" his mum yelled. They hurried into the kitchen, ready for lunch. They heard the familiar poof of floo powder coming from the living room. His mother went in the Living room to see who had dropped by.

"Where's my son!" a scratchy voice yelled furious.

"I forbid you to go near Sirius," Euphemia Potter yelled with equal rage.

"You should stay out of this, Euphemia. I wasn't happy when I learnt my son came here," Sirius' father yelled.

"I will not stay out of it. That poor boy showed up in my living room barely breathing. There isn't a chance in hell that I'm letting him leave with you!" James' mother spat. James could hear her fury building exponetially.

"You're exaggerating. He just needed to be reminded of his priorities," he replied.

"I've never met a boy who had his priorities straighter! And for the love of Merlin do you think I can't recogize Unforgiveable Curses? I can't believe you'd torture him, Orion," his mother hissed. James gripped his seat, frozen and scared. He looked over to Sirius who smiled.

"How dare you speak to me like that!" Orion Black shouted passionately. "He is a the heir to the most Noble and Ancient House of Black, I can't let him become a Blood Traitor like his cousin. Or like your sorry excuse for a pureblood family for that matter! Not even in the Sacred 28."

"Get out, Orion. Just leave," his mum said with a quiet rage. James could almost see her piercing eyes, making Orion cower. And only moments later, James heard another poof and Orion Black was gone as quickly as he had come. Sirius stood up from his chair and gave James' mum the biggest hug.

"You don't ever have to go back to them, I promise." Euphemia Potter said, "You can stay with us if you'd like."

"I couldn't do that to you all-"

"Rule 10, Padfoot. And I've always wanted a brother," James said hopefully. He looked at Sirius who teared up, he knew that they had been brothers since they had shared a compartment on the first day of school, not by blood but his parents always taught him that blood didn't matter.

"And we'd love to have another son!" James' dad said gleefully from across the room. James could definitely see his age, more prominent from his illness. Maybe Sirius could be the very thing that got his dad out of it.

**AN: Check out my other story The Difference. And please review. It would mean the world**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Hope in the Darkest of Times

"Mum! It's September 1st! We have to get on our way to London!" Lily said loudly to her still sleeping mother.

"Yes... I'll be down in a few..." her mother said half-awake. Lily shook her mother's shoulders.

"Mum, I've been up since half past 5 making sure I have everything packed. I can't be late this year!" Lily said insistently. She knew her mother would not be down in a few unless she meant hours that is. Her mother's stringy blond hair was all out of sorts.

"Alright, I'm up," Lily's mum said slightly annoyed. Lily smiled and thanked her, who looked at her clock. "Blimey! It's only 8... fine I'll get ready."

"Thank you Mum. Dad's already ready and he has your tea brewing," Lily said sweetly. Her mother reciprocated a sleepy smile and shooed her out so she could change. Lily turned around to see Petunia with her arms crossed and a stern look on her face.

"Hello Tuney," Lily said cheerfully. She could tell an argument was coming, there usually was one on September 1st.

"Don't you 'Hello' me. Or call me Tuney, we aren't five," Petunia spat. Lily took a deep breath, she had wanted to pretend like this summer had gone amicably.

"I love your hair. I don't pride my leaving to be the special occasion you've got yourself all dolled up for," Lily said, still with a beaming smile. Petunia's hair was curled, which was an unusual sight. Petunia and Rose Evans had the same stringy blond hair, except on Lily's mum it appeared to enhance her looks. On Petunia... not so much.

"I have a date, as a matter of fact. With a boy," Petunia said, holding her head up a bit higher.

"Thanks for the clarifacation, Tunes. Who's the lucky boy?" Lily asked.

"Don't call me 'Tunes' or 'Tuney' or any other variation of my name!" Petunia shouted.

"What's got your knickers in a twist, Petulant?" Lily said passing by her to get to her room, Petunia followed with an ever deepening scowl present on her uptight face.

"Petulant? What's that even mean?"

"Nothing, just you're predominant personality trait," Lily smiled at her sister once more. Petunia huffed.

"You're right, I should be happy you are leaving. Then I can pretend our whole family is normal. But no one will ever forget the brilliant Lily Evans. Only I see you for what you really are..." Petunia monologued. Lily already knew what was coming.

"A freak," Lily and Petunia said together. Lily nodded and smiled sadly as Petunia shrieked and stormed off. Lily wished that everyone could just see her as a normal person. Her own sister sees her as a freak, wizards and witches see her as a freak as well, except for the opposite reason. Wizards want people to be wizards, but not wizards who used to be Muggles. Muggles want people to be Muggle and only Muggles. Lily was stuck in between, hated by some on each side for being who she was. It's only 8 o'clock and I've already let her dampen today, Lily thought exasperated.

"Hiya Lilyflower," her dad said. He was making waffles in his very own waffle iron, that Lily had gifted him for Christmas. He loved doing things with his hands, cooking especially.

"Hello," Lily said less chipper than before. He gave her an odd look, concern showing in his familar bright green eyes, same as hers.

"The Lily I know would be excited to be heading back to school," he said pouring the batter.

"I was..." Lily started. Her father seemed to know where she was heading with that.

"You have to understand how hard today is for your sister. You have a gift that separates you very much from her. It wouldn't be like this if you both were wizards." Her dad said. Lily nodded and sat down on a stool.

"I try so hard to understand her. I just want me and her to be best friends, like when we were little kids. She's my sister and it- well it kills me a little every time she calls me a freak or the outcast," Lily explained. "Family is supposed to be there for you always, but she hates me instead. And believe me, life isn't exactly peachy at Hogwarts. People hate me because I came from a Muggle family. Not just hate either. People jeer at me in the halls, well, not everyone. This evil man leads them and he's trying to eliminate all the 'Mudbloods'. That's what they call me, that's what Severus called me." Lily began to cry, she hadn't thought about Severus in monthes. She never let herself think about how Severus, who was supposed to be her friend called her that word. She never told her family about the discrimination, she supposed she could call it, that she faced every day. She never told them about the good people, the ones who stood up for her. People like James Potter, despite his arrogancy, he still stood up for everyone no matter their blood status. He befriended a boy in first year from a known Elitest family and made that boy his best friend. He saved that said friend over the summer from horrors that Lily could hardly imagine. But it became evident to Lily that James protected his friends fiercly and fought those who tried to hurt them.

"I have my close friends, but most of my pureblood friends have begun to sever their ties. For their safety they don't want to associate with any unpure blood. And some students are joining up with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. At least for other Muggleborns the bigotry ends when they return home, not for me though." She poured her heart out to her father, who after a while only gestured behind her.

Lily turned to see Petunia was standing in the hall, with her mouth agape. Lily quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, expecting a fight. But what she got was unexpected: a hug. Petunia almost tackled her. They hugged and cried, gripping each other tightly.

"I'm sorry. I-I had no idea," Petunia stuttered. Lily wanted to respond but she could find no words. She wanted to be mad, but this was her sister finally seeing her as a person. She just cried into her shoulder. Suddenly her mother walked into the room.

"I'm not sure if this is good or bad," her mother said looking at her two crying daughters who hadn't been on good terms to say the least. The girls laughed between sobs and ushered her into the hug. Lily couldn't have asked for a better ending to her summer. Now she was just mad that the summer was over before she could properly mend the relationship. But like it or not, Lily was off to Hogwarts.

~James~ Beginning a New Journey

"You boys better get downstairs. You have a train to catch!" James' mother yelled. The boys jumped out of bed and hurriedly changed. Sirius ended put his trousers on backwards and James unevenly buttoned up his shirt.

"The pair of you look ridiculous," she said sighing. "Merlin help you James, please do something to that hair." James patted his hair, knowing full well that it would do no good.

"Controlling James' hair is like asking me not to be good-looking," Sirius said humbly. Even Mrs. Potter laughed.

"It's just baffling how his hair defies nature. It won't even stay still using his father's hair potion!" she exclaimed.

"Hello boys. And my beautiful wife," James' dad said to them. He gave his wife a kiss on the forehead as he took bacon from her hands. That earned him a swift smack on chest, which led to another kiss.

"We'd better give them the room," Sirius whispered loudly. James grinned embarassed as his mum glared at them, but Mr. Potter laughed deeply. He tried to kiss his wife again who now refused. James was just estatic to see his family back to normal. Who would've known that Sirius running away would bring his Dad back to normal.

"You boys better go make sure your bags are packed," James' mum told them both. Sirius raised his eyebrows up and down making James' mother huff exasperated.

"Oh don't be so coy, Mrs. Potter. We'll leave you two kids alone," Sirius said with a laugh. James could see his mother attempting to keep a straight face and failing. She didn't smile, but her face was twitching and her eyes twinkled. She seemed to be choosing between jinxing them or laughing with them, James didn't want to wait around and find out.

"We're going Mum!" James shouted. The two boys grabbed their trunks and owls and ran back downstairs. They had packed their things late last night to please his mother because she had been mad that they were out playing Quidditch. But that wouldn't stop James from doing it in the future. The Potter's after all had a personal Quidditch pitch that rivaled the one at Hogwarts. Their manor was quite picturesque after all. It all made James feel so lucky.

"Prongs?" Sirius said with his voice sounding young.

"Yeah?"

"Things aren't ever going to be the same, are they?" Sirius asked. "I mean I left my family, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm already burnt off the family tree. And Voldemort is stronger than ever. We're safer at Hogwarts with Dumbledore, but after that... well there's a war going on." Sirius looked scared and vunerable. He only ever showed that side of him this past summer. What his parents did to him opened him up.

"I reckon things haven't been the same for awhile now," James said with a sigh. "But it's up to us to fight against him. And we'll win, I know we will."

"Old Voldy could never match The Marauders," Sirius said with a laugh. But the two of them both knew that simply wasn't true. From what they've heard, no one escapes Voldemort. Now all that remained was an empty silence, leaving them both thinking the very same thing: How would their story end?

"Ready boys?" James' mother said holding an arm out to him, while James' father did the same for Sirius.

"Yes," the boys chorused. And with a whoosh, they had reconfigured in the Kings Cross Station bathroom.

"OI! Look at the time, we have to get moving. The train leaves in a few minutes." Sirius said.

"Bye Mum, Bye Dad! I'll see you at Christmas. Love you!" James yelled as he ran with his trolley with Sirius beside him. His parents wished them well and walked slowly behind them.

"I race you to the entrance, Paddy!" James yelled.

"You're on!"

James got into Platform 9 3/4 narrowly before Sirius. He hooted in joy and the boys laughed as they boarded the train.

"Y'know I would've beaten you if it wasn't for that little girl. She had got in my way and being the gentleman that I am, I didn't run her over," Sirius explained.

"Oh sure, Padfoot, make excuses. It really is alright to lose to me, I've got the speed and agility of a Chaser. The best Chaser in the school I might add," James teased. Sirius snorted. James and Sirius saw Remus and Peter enter a compartment.

"Trying to race me to the compartment too, are you?" James asked as Sirius hurried in front. Sirius grinned his infamous grin, similar to the one James sported himself.

"Of course not. I just don't wanna be stuck next to the rat!" Sirius joked. James tried to push past Sirius, who blocked him.

"I've got the strength of a Beater, y'see," Sirius said.

"Oh shut up," James kidded. "Go inside would you." Sirius laughed and walked inside the compartment, taking the empty seat next to Remus.

"Hey guys. How are you recovering, Moony?" James asked. He had seen his friends a few days before during the full moon.

"Not bad. Just this odd antler-like bruise on my chest. Not sure where they came from though?" Remus said sarcastically. Everyone laughed, but not James, he had spotted Lily laughing with her friends. James stood up without even thinking about it.

"Oh c'mon Prongs, it'll never happen. Alright?" Sirius said. James turned to his friends seeing only pity. He scowled and could feel his anger rising. How could they look at him like that? Was he that pathetic?

"I got it, ok? I just want to be her friend," James said slumping back into his seat. Peter put his arm around James supportively.

"Remember what I said the other day," Sirius told him, "we are going to find you a good girl. You've got a whole section of 'em during Quidditch matches. Although I have an even bigger section..."

"Yeah, Prongs. Melissa Bones wouldn't leave me alone during Herbology for a month, 'cause she thought I could convince you to fancy her. Honestly it was pathetic," Peter said.

"What about that Missy Edgecomb? She liked you last year," Remus added. James appreciated his friend's enthusiasm, but James could handle himself.

"Is that that Ravenclaw?" James said unsure. Sirius looked down at his boots, suddenly intersted. "What is it?"

"Well... I kinda had a thing with her in fourth year," Sirius said scratching his head, "But honestly it wasn't worth it. She's a horrible snogger and she went and told the Head Girl that we had snuck out after curfew. A bloody snitch that one is, made me serve detention with Filch for a week."

"Well what about Selene-"

"Honestly guys, I appreciate it, but I can handle myself," James said before walking out of the compartment. He walked all the way to the opposite side of the train, near the Prefect's compartment and he began to turn around. All James wanted was someone to love. And he wanted that person to be Lily Evans, so after her constant rejecting him, he decided to try and find someone who made him feel like Lily did. He searched for people, led girls on. He didn't want to hurt them and the relationships were very shortlived. He knew that he would feel the spark, but no one else made him feel like Lily does. And she hates him, absolutely despises him.

"Ja-Potter?" someone said. James turned around and saw Lily leaving the compartment.

"Coming to find me already?" she kidded, but James stayed solemn.

"No, I just needed some air," James said calmly, "And just so you know, I won't ask you out anymore. I got the message." Lily froze for half a second.

"Oh alright. Well I suppose now would be a good time for you to fill me in on your summer, you did promise," Lily said with a smile. James grinned at her feeling much better.

"Only if you tell me about yours."

"You strike a hard bargain, Potter."


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Uncovering the Truth

"Welcome back students, this year will be similar to the past one with a few minor differences. We have some changes to our staff this year, which I shall address shortly, but first, some business: Mr. Filch has asked me to tell you all that there is a ban on all products from a shop called Zonko's. Students wishing to play for their House Quidditch teams should give their names to their Head of House. We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators. Moving on, we are pleased to welcome one new member to our staff this year. Professor Gilbert Allenson will be teaching Ancient Runes this year." The students applauded lightly, making Gilbert look both embarrassed and pleased.

"Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Tom Riddle and his followers are at large and gaining strength. I cannot emphasize strongly enough how dangerous the present situation is, and how much caution each of us must take practice to ensure that we remain safe. The castle's magical fortifications have been strengthened, but each person, student or staff, must hold themselves responsible for keeping our school safe. So I urge you to abide by any security rules that your teachers have imposed on you. In particular, you are not to be out of bed after hours. But shall you notice anything strange or suspicious within the castle, report it to a member of staff immediately. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regard for your own and others' safety." The headmaster looked around at his students warmly. But Lily's grin had not diminished. She had been worried about You-Know-Who all summer, but she wasn't going to let him stop her from being happy right now.

"Lily?" Marlene asked quietly. "Why didn't you come back after your meeting?" Lily looked over to James who had a smile equally as big.

"I was talking with Potter," Lily said looking at him. Lily knew her friends would definitely over react about it though.

"Are you guys... dating!?" Mary screeched. Lily laughed and shook her head.

"The opposite. He promised he wouldn't ask me out anymore. So we just talked for awhile. It was nice, refreshing really," Lily explained.

"Well that's boring," Mary said disappointed.

"Remember how I told you guys we hung out at one of Professor Slughorn's parties," Lily said, "Well he was like that. He actually seems to have matured a lot this summer, with everything that's going on."

"What about you Marlene? How's everything at home?" Mary asked seriously. Marlene looked at them with an empty smile.

"We're going to be okay, me, my dad, and my brother. It's been a hard few months, but I think things will be alright," Marlene said quietly. Lily gave her friend a hug.

"We're here for you Marls. If you need anything... anything at all," Lily told her friend.

"Thanks guys," Marlene responded.

"And have you made up with Sirius yet? He was heartbroken last year," Mary said.

"Well he seems to have got over me. Didn't you see him snogging Aster Lockheart on the train!" Marlene scoffed. "But what do I care, that git's allowed to snog whoever the bloody hell he likes."

"He's been through more than you'd think," Lily added quietly.

"Yeah and so have I!" Marlene yelled.

"What do you mean?" Lily inquired. Marlene sat on the edge of her chair, shaking.

"The night before my mum died, me and Sirius went up to the Astronomy Tower at night," Marlene said slowly, "We ended doing a lot more than snogging as planned. Things got, well they got out of hand and we ended up shagging. I'm such a tart." Marlene's face flushed with shame, she covered her face and tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

"Did he take advantage of you!? Is that why you're mad at him?" Lily jumped up from her seat and shouted. She felt the rage building up. Lily didn't care if her friend was shagging someone as long as Marlene wanted to. Otherwise Lily would be unbelievably mad.

"No, no! Not at all," Marlene said, making Lily sit back down so people would stop staring, "He was actually really sweet about it. He told me he actually fancied me." Her face was dreamy, like she was reliving it.

"So why are you mad at him," Mary asked confused.

"The next day Bertha Jorkins told me how he was shagging Mara Greengrass in a broom closet at that moment. Then an hour later I found out my mum died," Marlene said sobbing. Lily jumped up again, her friends called out from behind her.

"I'm gonna kill Sirius Black," Lily muttered she looked to where the Marauders had been sitting but they were gone.

~James~ Fights and Reconciliations

"I have a good feeling about Quidditch this year," James said happily. The boys wandered down the hallways.

"Ready for a two-peat?" Sirius said laughing. "Latronem."

"You can go in, boys." The Fat Lady sang.

"Of course. As if Slytherin could take it from us!" James laughed as he stepped through the painting.

"Oh no. You boys better hide!" The Fat Lady said cowering. James stuck his head out of the portrait and saw Lily storming towards them. He thought that things had gone well between them today, so why was she mad?

"What did I do wrong?" James asked when she got closer. She looked at him in surprise.

"What? No it's your friend I have a bone to pick with," Lily shouted, pointing at Sirius. He raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself in shock. Lily brandished her wand and pointed it at him. James jumped in front.

"Woah, Evans let's calm down!" James said. He should've known better then to go in front of her wand like that, but thankfully she didn't hex him.

"How could you betray Marlene like that!?" she demanded, "How callous and emotionally manipulative can you get?"

"Me!? I would never! She's the one who just started ignoring me!" Sirius protested. "I fancy her!"

"Well apparently you've been telling that to a lot of girls," Lily said pushing James out of the way.

"If Marlene has an issue with me dating other girls now, then she can tell me herself!" Sirius yelled. Lily put her wand up to Sirius' throat. Sirius flinched at the sudden and aggressive movement.

"I'm talking about you cheating on Marlene when you were dating!" Lily yelled.

"I'd never!"

"Somehow I find that hard to believe..." Lily ridiculed. Sirius scowled at her.

"I don't know what the hell has got into you or why you'd think I cheated on Marlene, but you better get your bloody wand away from my neck before I make you!" Sirius demanded.

"Don't threaten me!"

"Don't give me a reason to," Sirius sneered.

"I'm not taking orders from you. Now tell me what happened with Mara Greengrass the day her mum died?" Lily questioned, lowering her wand only slightly.

"Nothing happened, as if I'd snog Greengrass. And me and Marlene haven't done a thing since the night before that," Sirius said sadly.

"What happened the day before?" James asked, not sure if he wanted the answer. Marlene was like a sister to him, seeing as he'd known her since they were babies. So he didn't exactly want to know about how Sirius and Marlene had shacked up together, but he needed to know so he understood why Marlene hated Sirius.

"I told her I fancied her and the next day she hated me," Sirius said.

"Of course you haven't touched her since the day before because she knew you were with Mara," Lily said.

"That's a lie! I'd never hurt Marlene like that. I'll take Veritaserum, I swear!" Sirius said. James knew Sirius would never do something like that to Marlene, maybe other girls but not Marlene.

"Wait this was the day of the attack on the Ministry?" James asked quietly. Sirius and Lily both nodded. "After class we went down to Hogsmeade, remember?"

"That's right, we did!" Sirius shouted gleefully.

"Of course you'd agree, Black!"

"Don't you use my surname!"

"Don't cheat on my best friend!"

"You-"

"STOP!" James yelled. "Evans, I promise Padfoot was with me in Hogsmeade. And if you need proof, ask Dumbledore."

"Why would Dumbledore give you special permission to go to Hogsmeade?" Lily lowered her wand all the way.

"We needed to deliver a message," James said carefully.

"What are you an owl?" Lily asked dryly.

"Owls can be intercepted. It was sensitive information," James carried on.

"What about and who to?" Lily asked no longer as worried about Sirius.

"It was to Aberforth and it was about the Order," James whispered even though there wasn't anyone else in the Common Room.

"That's Dumbledore's brother right?" Lily asked. James nodded. "What's the Order?"

"The Order of the Phoenix," James whispered again. Sirius scowled but James ignored it. He knew Lily could be trusted. "It's a secret organisation that is working to fight Voldemort. You can't tell a soul." Lily nodded.

"I won't say anything. Are you guys in it?" she asked. James shook his head.

"No we wanted to be once we found out, but Dumbledore insisted that you had to be of age to join," Sirius told Lily, being cautious around her, as if he was prepping himself for her to have her wand at his throat again.

"How did you find out about it? It hardly seems like something Dumbledore would just go telling students about," Lily pointed out.

"Yeah he wouldn't, but his brother did. We were in Hogsmeade one night, hanging out in Hogs Head. And Aberforth had had a few too many drinks himself and he started getting all these owls from Dumbledore. Naturally, we had some questions, and drunken Aberforth was not terribly good at keeping secrets," James explained. He hoped that she wouldn't reprimand them for sneaking out to drink in Hogsmeade.

"Oh okay. But you really didn't cheat on Marlene then?" Lily said confused.

"I swear." Sirius told her.

"Bertha Jorkins said that you were shagging another girl in a closet. She told Marlene about it," Lily trailed off. She wasn't sure what happened and why Bertha Jorkins would lie.

"Well Bertha Jorkins is a bloody liar! I would never do that to Marlene!" Sirius yelled not at anyone in particular, just venting his anger. Suddenly Marlene, Mary, Emmeline, and Dorcas bustled into the Common Room.

"Marlene?" Lily said softly, "I think that you and Sirius need to talk." Everyone cleared the room to leave Sirius and Marlene to talk about everything that had happened.

"Hey." James elbowed Lily to get her attention, "Why don't we go for a walk?"

"Yeah alright," Lily agreed. "Why don't we head to the library."

"So tell me, Evans, why did you used to dislike me so much?" James asked. He stared at her full lips, thinking about how much he'd like to kiss her. There were not many people in the library, the lights were dim, and she looked as beautiful as ever.

"I thought it was self-explanatory: you tended to be an arrogant plonker," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"Tended?" James said hopefully.

"Well we've only been back a day," Lily teased. James wanted more than anything to be snogging her rather than whoever his friends try to set him up with.

"Hypothetically, say that I did mature and stop being an 'arrogant prick', would that change how you feel about me?" James asked. They were so close together, they're bodies almost touching.

"I thought you were done asking me out?" Lily said backing away.

"I am. But we are friends now, right?" James asked and Lily nodded. "So what if I asked you to go to Hogsmeade with me, as friends?"

"Friends don't go on dates, Potter."

"True, but it wouldn't be a date. I know you don't want to date me and now that we are friends, we have 5 years of missed friendship to make up. So what do you say?" James said smiling. James could see her internal struggle play out.

"Fine," Lily said reluctantly. James slung his arm around her shoulder, which she promptly pushed off.

"We'll have fun. And we should probably start getting to know each other," James said smiling.

"Alright. What's your favourite sweet?" he asked.

"Kit-Kats," Lily said.

"The bloody hell is that?"

"A muggle sweet. They are brilliant, I'm telling you," she told him.

"I'll take your word for it. Mine is Chocolate Frogs. I've got all of the cards too. Collected 'em," James told her proudly.

"Even Merlin?" He nodded. "Impressive, Potter. What's your favourite colour?"

"The colour of your eyes," James said softly. It was the perfect moment to lean down and kiss her, but James was afraid. He didn't want to ruin everything.

"Would you mind not flirting with me?" Lily said as a first year stared at them with wide eyes.

"Sorry, force of habit," James said grinning. "What's yours? I won't be offended if it's not the colour of my eyes."

"Yellow, like a pastel yellow," Lily said softly.

"Pastel yellow doesn't really go with my skin tone but I'm willing to make sacrifices," James said jokingly.

"You're unbearable," Lily said shaking her head while grinning.

"I don't see you running off," James counters.

"I wouldn't want to offend you."

"That never used to stop you."

"That's because you were truly and wholeheartedly despicable," Lily told him.

"You could never despise a bloke as fine as myself," James teased.

"The Giant Squid is still better," Lily said laughing. James jumped back pretending to be offended.

"You wound me," James said, "I guess after a blow like that, my head can fit inside now. Wouldn't you say?" Lily laughed at his silliness.

"See you think I'm funny, humble, and handsome!" James cheered.

"I wouldn't say handsome or humble. As for funny, you have your moments," Lily shot back.

"Well I remember a time when I very heroically saved a certain red head who in gratitude complimented my physique," James said, "I believe the exact words were 'You have such strong arms' and 'What a nice face'. A bit blunt, but I'll take whatever I can get." Lily blushed furiously.

"I was delirious! That- that doesn't count!" Lily defended, her normally pale face was bright red.

"I'm only joking, Evans." James said not wanting to push her too far. "In case you forgot, I told you that you had a nice face too. Which still stands." James leaned on a bookcase very close to Lily. He could feel the tension, once again he wanted to kiss her. He thought for a moment that she wanted to as well, but then she jumped back.

"We should probably head back to the Common Room."

"I don't want to walk in on Marlene and Padfoot shagging!" James complained disgusted. Their moment was over, he just hoped they would get another chance.

"Let's go Potter."


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Hogsmeade with Potter

This is probably a bad idea. Her and Potter alone? All day? She barely held herself together a few weeks ago when they were alone together in the library. She shouldn't have agreed to it. And don't be mistakened, Lily Evans most definitely did not like James Potter. No way. She and him were just friends. He just happened to be quite a bit more attractive than the rest of her friends.

"Just friends, oh please?" Marlene exclaimed that day, "The two of you went from his unrequited love to being buddy-buddy quite fast!"

"Well his love is still unrequited. I've simply seen a new side of Potter, that's all," Lily said. She had to admit that he was a very loyal guy. He saved Mary from Mulciber, he's defended countless Muggleborns from harassment, he became an Animagi for Remus, he defended me from Snape, he saved Sirius, and he said he wouldn't ask me out anymore.

"I don't know, Lils. I think you're warming up to him pretty fast," Marlene said with a grin.

"We're friends," Lily insisted.

"Hey there Evans, you ready?" James asked as he jumped over the banister that came from the boy's Dormitory. He was followed by Sirius, both were budled up in Gryffindor scarves. Her heart fluttered at the sight of them, she didn't know why. Perhaps she was just nervous to be hanging out with him.

"Yeah, is Sirius coming with us?" Lily said. James looked behind him at his friend then back to her.

"Is that alright. I figured since it wasn't a date I could bring him along," James said innocently.

"Brilliant, let's go on then," Lily said being the first out of the portrait hole. "Bye Marlene."

"Bye Lily," Marlene said in a singsongy voice.

"Oi Padfoot, did you have to push me, mate?" James said as he got up off the ground.

"Accident," Sirius responded smirking. James frowned at him.

"So where are we going first?" Lily asked.

"3 Broomsticks, of course!" Sirius said excited. He was practically hopping as we travelled the winding path to get there.

"He fancies Madam Rosmerta," James whispers to her. But he's a rather bad whisperer seeing as Sirius could hear every word.

"Wrong. I fancy Marlene," Sirius shouted back. James and Lily turned to him in shock.

"What!?" James and Lily chorus. Sirius' eyes widen and he flushes. Sirius was not a feelings type of guy. He was more of a one night stand guy.

"I fancy snogging her, is all I mean," he recovered quickly. Lily slapped him on the back of his head jokingly, "That is my friend you're talking about, Black!"

"I'm no Black, not anymore," Sirius said quiet all of the sudden. Lily realized that that was the second time in two weeks she had refered to him as Black.

"I'm sorry," Lily said. She leant in and gave Sirius a long hug. When she pulled apart she saw James standing there with his arms open.

"No hug for me, Evans?" James said playfully.

"I only hug people I like," Lily punched his arm lightly.

"Hear that, Prongs? She likes me better than you!" Sirius shouted gleefully.

"She likes everyone better than me. Thought we had established that," James said only half joking.

"Well she did agree to go to Hogsmeade with you," Sirius said.

"And thank God that I wasn't stuck alone with him," Lily teased again.

"Well, love, I'm afraid you will be," Sirius said with a wink, "I only came along to help Prongs grab some firewhiskey."

"Firewhiskey!? How do you plan on managing that one?" Lily asked.

"Surprise, love," Sirius said grinning. Lily hit him again.

"This is illegal in so many way," Lily sighed. They were about to break into a pub and 'borrow'(according to them) some firewhiskey, as minors! But she knew this was nothing compared to their other endeavors. Only five minutes later they were back outside with a bottle of firewhiskey and a basket of food.

"You are lucky I don't deduct points for this," Lily joked.

"Oh yeah?" James replied, "I think you're enjoying yourself too much. Besides you are an accomplice."

"How do you figure?" Lily asked.

"You are carrying the firewhiskey," James pointed out.

"I guess it's a good thing I'm not going to turn you in," Lily said.

"Well I better head off. Minnie McG won't be forgiving if I kept her waiting," Sirius said and he was gone. Sashaying back to the castle with his usual confidence and elegance.

"Minnie?" Lily asked.

"McGonagall," James said.

"What does he have detention with her or something?" Lily asked.

"No they have tea every weekend," James explained, "Just so he has an adult in his life that he can trust."

Suddenly James began running towards the Whomping Willow, not giving her time to digest what he just said. Lily's heart stopped. She thought he was going to die, the tree was about to hit him, with it's huge branches swinging at such high velocity.

"James!" Lily screamed. James reached the trunk of the tree and it stopped swinging. The branches hovered in the air, in a way that she had never seen. Had he levitated all the branches? He turned to her and smirked. She stomped over to him.

"You are a right twit, Potter! You could've died," Lily screamed. She felt like crying or laughing, she didn't know. "Remember what happened to Davey Gudgeons!"

"I'm fine, Lily," he said smiling, he grabbed her hands. His rough calloused hands over her soft ones. He had a crooked smile, but it was gentle and caring. Lily could feel her anger melting away. "Besides Gudgeons is the only tosser who got hurt, the rest of us were in good form playing that game."

"How did you stop it?" Lily asked curiously. James pulled her over to the tree, still holding her hand.

"See this knot, when you press it it freezes. Now follow me," James said. He slid into a tunnel beside the tree and Lily went in behind him.

"Where are we?" Lily asked as they resurfaced into a worn down wooden building. It's windows were all boarded up and scratches were all over the walls and floors.

"The inside of the Shrieking Shack. You don't believe in ghosts, do you?" James asked smirking. He took out his cloak and laid it down like a blanket. He began uncorking the Firewhiskey.

"You're joking right?" Lily laughs, "The castle is full of ghosts!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," James said grinning.

"Don't let Sir Nicholas hear that. Or Myrtle for that matter. I hear she has a crush on you," Lily said with a pointed look.

"You mean Nearly Headless Nick and Moaning Myrtle!" James exclaimed, "Don't tell me you've befriended the ghosts?"

"Myrtle isn't as bad as you'd think. She's just lonely and honestly I find it crazy that she was murdered in the bathroom and everyone treats it as a minor inconvenience!" Lily said.

"I never thought about it that way. Who did her in?" James asked.

"Rumour has it that an acromantula was raised in the castle and Myrtle was it's victim," Lily said unsure, "But that's mostly speculation though."

"Alright enough history, let's play a game," James said loudly.

"What game?"

"Spin the bottle?" James said hopefully, but Lily playfully punched him. She had been finding ways to touch him all afternoon and he had been doing the same. He'd grab her hand if she was walking too slow, Lily wiped the snow off his robes when they got inside. He twirled her hair and she cleant off his glasses. It was all very easy and natural, not for a moment was it awkward as it was with other guys.

"With just the two of us! Funny," Lily said.

But James only shrugged, "A guy has to try. How about Truth or Dare?"

"Alright, Truth or Dare?" Lily asked taking her scarf off.

"Dare!" he said grinning.

"I dare you to... hmm I dare you to do a handstand," Lily said giggling. He stood up shaking his head and laughing. "You always could turn the dare down."

"Are you crazy? A Marauder never turns down a dare," James said.

"Then proceed at your own risk," Lily warned.

"If I break my neck, you'll have to answer to Madam Pomfrey," James joked. He shook his arms to stretch them and did an odd sort of cartwheel/handstand hybrid. Lily couldn't help but laugh as he fell right into her. She tried to catch him but he was too heavy, so they fell to the floor together.

"Get off me you git!" Lily told him as she laughed. He rolled off of her.

"Alright my turn. Truth or Dare?" James asked.

"Truth."

"That's weak, Evans. Can't handle a challenge, can you?" James shook his head at her.

"Fine, dare."

"I dare you to tell me a secret," James said challenging her.

"That is exactly what the purpose of Truth is in this game!" Lily said exasperated.

"Whatever. Now tell me a secret and make it juicy," James demanded.

"Fine. I um- I had a crush on Remus in second year," Lily said chagrined. Then James began to laugh so hard. He doubled over and made Lily giggle a bit too.

"Stop laughing at me, you wanker," Lily complained. She punched James' arm as he began to tear up from laughing so hard.

"Would you stop punching me. I'm going to bruise," James said, "but I can't believe you fancied Moony."

"Don't go telling him," Lily begged.

"Well do you still fancy him?" James asked. She shook her head. He continued unblushingly, "Then it's no big deal. Everyone knows I fancy you and Sirius and Marlene have their weird thing, and Peter fancies Mary-"

"Peter likes Mary!" Lily exclaimed.

"Rats," James said, "Shouldn't have said that. Not that he'd ever make a move on her."

"Like you said, it's no big deal. It's only a crush, it's not like you are in love," Lily said, but James got very quiet. His expression turned solemn and serious. "Have you ever been in love?" Lily asked quietly. She wasn't sure how she wanted him to answer. She watched James' rough hands bring the bottle to his soft looking lips.

"Yes," He said, his eyes full with intensity. The room felt empty without the laughter that had just filled it.

"Really? With who?" Lily asked. She watched James shake his head slowly, he looked sad. And Lily couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy for the girl who had won James' heart.

"You can tell me," Lily said slowly. She reached for his hand to hold, she wanted to feel his skin. She would never had done so when sober, but here she was.

"I really shouldn't say," James said slowly. His voice cracked from it's usual deep tone.

"C'mon James. Who?" Lily insisted. She entwined his fingers in hers. After a very long silence he finally spoke, "Promise you won't be mad?" Lily nodded, no longer giggling. His jaw clenched and a struggle played out on his face.

"I'm in love with you," James said staring into her eyes, as serious as he was on the train when he said he wouldn't ask her out anymore. His eyes were wide and full of hope. Lily dropped his hands, staring into his hazel eyes, framed by wire rimmed glasses. But his eyes were more sad than hopeful now. And her hands had never felt so empty before.

"With me?" Lily said processing it all. Her mouth was hanging open and the alcohol wasn't doing her any favours.

"Forget I said anything. I'm daft as a bush, I'm sorry. I dunno what I was thinking. Merlin, I'm sorry," James rambled.

"Shut up, James!"

"What?" he asked weakly.

"How could you be in love with me? Why? We've never even kissed or-" Lily said frustrated. She was standing up now walking in circles.

"Are you seriously asking me why? I could write a bloody book. You don't understand how hard it is for me to just live my life knowing you hate me. You are so stupidly perfect. It's hard most days, seeing you. Watching you laughing at another bloke's jokes. Or ignoring me, not that I blame you. I've always been a prat. And I'm sorry. Dammit Lily, I'm sorry," James said pulling at his hair. His voice strained and spilling raw emotion.

"Stop, just stop talking! You can't be in love with me. We are 16 and barely friends. We've-we've hated each other for the last five years. You can't tell me you love me!" Lily screeched. She spun on her heels and began to turn away. James grabbed her wrist spinning her back around, facing him. They were close together, too close. Lily was suddenly out of breath as she stared into his intense eyes. Eyes that held back tears. She flung her wrist from his grip.

"I have never hated you, never. And I don't expect you to love me back and I meant it when I said that I wouldn't ask you out anymore. Just give me a chance as your friend, please." James begged. She felt chills go down her spine.

"I need space. Just give me space," Lily said with an unsure voice. Lily ran out the door for good now, leaving James in an empty room. Lily wanted to feel bad but it was all too much for her.

~James~ Square 1 was Torture

"Can someone tell me what this potion is?" Slughorn asked. He stared at the back of Lily's head as her hand piped up.

"That is Amortentia," Lily said dreamily, "The strongest love potion in the world. It is supposed to smell like the things that attract you the most. For example, I smell old books, flowers, and morning dew." James perked up and began smelling the potion himself. He closed his eyes as he let the scent overtake him. He smelt broom polish, wood smoke, and vanilla mixed with strawberry. James' eyes went wide as he realized that vanilla and strawberry was Lily's scent.

"Have you got something to say Mr. Potter?" Slughorn asked nicely.

"No I was... just getting caught up in the smell," James said.

"Understandable, but if you don't mind me asking... What is it that you smell?"

"Wood smoke, broom polish, and... and," James caught Lily's eyes for the first time in weeks. She seemed tired and hoping he wouldn't continue, "That's it I think." James said with his gaze not leaving Lily's, earning him snickers from the Slytherin table. He couldn't look away and seemingly neither could she. He missed her and her strawberry smelling hair and vanilla perfume.

"Would you like to tell me what you smell, Mr. Snape?" Slughorn asked, shutting his snickers down.

"I smell potion's fumes, vanilla, and something fruity," Snape mumbled causing James to almost gasp. But no one else thought much of Snape's answer, not even Lily.

"Very well, how about you Mr. Cattermole?" Slughorn asked the Hufflepuff.

"I smell laundrey detergent, lemons, and a fresh rain," the Hufflepuff boy said.

"Interesting," Slughorn said.

"What do you smell, sir?" James asked charmingly.

"Well, I smell fresh ink, pineapple, and oak mead," Slughorn said with a chuckle, "An odd pairing, wouldn't you say."

"I reckon mine is just as odd, sir," James added.

"Right you are," his teacher said smiling. He spotted Lily out of the corner of his eye again, she had looked at him for a half a second. He tried to hide the hurt from showing but he couldn't. He had scared her off and now she wanted nothing to do with him. Their relationship was back to square one. James hated square one.

James needed to be see Lily. But she wouldn't talk to him for weeks now. They had finally became friends and then he had to ruin it. He hadn't even known he was in love with Lily until that day. Because that day they were finally truly friends and he saw another side of her. And that was when he knew that they couldn't be just friends. He didn't want to be friends. He wanted to talk to her, to get her to listen, but she needed space. But he needed to set things right, but he didn't want to invade her space. James pulled out the Marauder's Map, searching for Lily's name. Her lonely black dot wandered down the halls. Not going anywhere in particular, from the looks of it. He knew he couldn't be there to protect her if she wouldn't let him, but either way he could still look over her. And that was his plan. He didn't actually expect for anything to happen. But then her dot was no longer alone. She was surrounded by three other dots. Three names that couldn't mean anything good.

James sprinted down the halls, faster than he knew he could go. As he ran closer to the dungeons he heard crashes and bangs ricocheting through the halls. Worry coursed through his veins and he drew his wand. He heard Lily shriek then a male grunt. He turned the last corner and rushed to Lily's side. He saw Mulciber and Regulus Black firing cursed and hexes at Lily. Avery accompanied them unconscious on the floor. Lily had taken several curses as well as her opponents.

"Stupefy!" James yelled. Mulciber barely dodged the curse and began to target James as well. Lily and James fought side by side firing spell after spell. Lily produced charms they hadn't even began to cover in class and James used every spell he knew. Every curse that Sirius taught him.

"Expulso!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Crucio!" Mulciber yelled pointed at Lily. James jumped in front of the spell, hoping that he'd intercept it. Not thinking for a second that he'd be facing the torture himself, because it didn't matter as long as Lily was safe. He felt his body lurch in pain. As if his spine melted and his nerves screamed in pain. He couldn't feel his body slam to the ground or hear his heart wrenching screams. He could only feel the pain. He could see black spots dancing over his eyes so he couldn't see Lily Evans charge at Mulciber like a raging storm. In her fury she was stronger than them all. She fired curse after curse, leaving Mulciber trying to block her spells but his shield charm was no match. Regulus stood back in the shadows, allowing the events to unfold, shaken and torn between the two sides.

James saw Lily's concerned eyes hovering over him, in what seemed like only a moment later. She was shouting at him, her face twisted in pain at seeing him in such a state, but her voice was muffled. She was trying to move his sluggish body, but he was heavy. She heaved and pulled, but a semi-conscious 16 year old boy was difficult to move.

"My pocket," James croaked, but he knew Lily probably couldn't understand through his groans. "My pocket."

"Your pocket?" Lily said understanding. She stopped pulling him and began searching his pockets. She pulled out a blank piece of parchment and a dusty mirror.

"That's the mirror you used in Diagon Alley," Lily said looking shocked, but James wasn't sure if it was from their recent duel or his mirror. Either way, James nodded.

"Sirius!" James said as clearly as he could. Lily looked startled as Sirius' face appeared in a mirror.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked concerned.

"We're by the dungeons. We need help!" Lily said choking up a bit. Sirius dropped his mirror and came running, ending the connection. James stared at Lily's face. Her concerned features made his heart swell.

"You're hurt," James said worried. Lily gave a weak smile beside herself, as she crashed onto the floor beside him.

"I'll be ok," she said softly running her fingers through his messy hair. He adored the way it felt and thought she looked beautiful even with the blood splattered on her face. He reached a tentative hand up to touch her face. He wanted to wipe the blood from under her eye. When they touched, a spark of electricity shot through him, and he saw her sad smile turn to surprise. He didn't let that stop him from caressing her cheek.

"I can't believe he'd use an Unforgiveable," Lily said with a lone tear streaking down her cheek. James sat up, dizzily, but upright nontheless.

"I just can't believe I let him get away with it," James said softly.

She looked back at him with pride, "Don't worry, I didn't." She told him about how the three Slytherins attacked her.

"Sirius always knew that him and his brother were on different sides of the road, but I think he always had a little bit of hope," James told her. "I can't imagine what it's like."

"I can."

"What?" James asked confused. How could Lily Evans be in a similar situation as Sirius?

"My sister, she's a muggle. She thinks that I am, well all wizards really, are freaks. I'm not so sure about how she feels now, because just before school started we sort of made up," Lily said shakily, "My dad thinks it's because she isn't a wizard. Jealousy, I suppose. But I'm not so sure, I think it's a lot deeper than that. Maybe I just hope it is deeper than jealousy, because that is no excuse to shut out your sister."

"I-I had no idea," James said with wide eyes. He had such a sheltered life compared to all of his friends. Sirius is disowned from his family, Remus is a werewolf, Lily is discriminated on both sides, Peter's dad was dead, and Marlene's mother was dead.

"Yeah, well hopefully me and her are past it all," Lily said cheerfully, "Oh look, there's Sirius!"

"Oi! What the in the name of Merlin happened to you two?" Sirius yelled. He saw James looking pale and shaky and Lily covered in blood. James and Lily looked at each other and he said, "I saw that Lily was being attacked so I went to go help. When I got there, Avery was knocked out and the others were still fighting her. I jumped in and we held our own for awhile, but Mulciber got me with the Cruciartus Curse. I don't really know what happened after that."

"I was so... angry I started cursing Mulciber. And he couldn't do anything but a shield charm, which I broke. I hit him with the toenail growing hex-" Lily vented.

"Snape's hex," James growled causing Lily to shoot him a dirty look.

"Yes, Snape did mess around with spell theory, but it was useful although silly. Anyway Reg- I mean the other attacker pulled Avery out of the way and Mulciber followed quickly," Lily faltered.

"Regulus was there!?" Sirius shouted, his face reddening, "Did he hurt you? If he hurt you, I'll bloody kill him!" He looked furious and unstable at the same time.

"He didn't hurt us," James intervened quickly, "Lily said that he stopped fighting after I was hurt." Sirius didn't stop looking angry, just less worked up. James was used to diffusing potential outbursts from Sirius, and vice versa.

"Snape and his cronies have been sinking their bleeding claws into him. I- I-"

"You aren't going to do anything," James said, "No fighting or hexing, because they won't stop and won't hesitate using Unforgivables."

"But he's my brother!"

"And your brother, no matter how much he hesitates, he still goes ahead with their ideals. You know he's always been obsessed with You-Know-Who. Even after you've offered him several ways out, he still goes on with it. He's almost fifteen after all, he's making his own choices," James said.

"Yeah, yeah I know he is," Sirius ceded.

"I think I'm alright now," James told them. He tried to stand, only for his knees to buckle under him and his vision swimming. Sirius caught him and held him upright. He saw Lily's face twist in pain again, she looked at him with such pity that he became determined. He pushed Sirius' arm off of him, standing on his own, barely managing.

"I'm going to head over to Dumbledore's office and tell him-" Lily began to say.

"NO," James and Sirius warned together. Sirius shook his head as James continued, "Rule 14: Never tell Dumbledore."

"Rule 14?" Lily said amused. The boys nodded, "The Marauder's Rules. Very important stuff."

"The purpose?"

"To keep our secrets safe, of course," Sirius interjected.

"You might need to revise your rules then," Lily said before walking away. Her dark red hair flowing behind her, in a careless yet stunning manner. After James finished watching her round the corridor he turned to Sirius, "What do you reckon she meant by that?"

"Dunno, but we'd better get you back to the Common Room," Sirius told him before following Lily.

**Hey there. How'd you like James' half-drunken love confession and Lily's refusal?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Nah, She Didn't

"What are you doing for holiday?" Marlene asked as she began to stir her potion.

"I'm going to go home. I want to see if I can patch everything up with Tuney," Lily said closing her potion's book. They had everything wrong, she couldn't rely on it.

"No, Marlene you have to add a counterclockwise turn every seventh turn," Lily said shaking her head. She grabbed the stirrer and did it herself.

"But the instructions said-" Marlene protested, her voice faltered as she watched the potion turn to the right shade of light purple. She stared at Lily in awe, "How did you know that?"

"Instinct, I suppose," Lily said not wanting to share the real reason. The real reason sat in the back corner of the classroom, blending in with the shadows. She glanced back for a second to see where him and she caught his unrelenting stare.

"I'm staying with the Potter's for Christmas," Marlene said casually. After Lily only nodded Marlene almost jumped into the air.

"Merlin!" Marlene screamed, hitting Lily.

"Ow! What?" Lily asked, taking her eyes off the potion for a second.

"You didn't make a single comment about James being a big headed, egotistical, conceited, haughty, pretentious wanker!?" Marlene nearly shouted.

"Stop yelling Marls. If you prefer I'll go insult him now," Lily said before adding a sprig of mint to her potion. "And did you look arrogant up in a thesaurus or something?"

"Perhaps I happen to possess a voluminous vocabulary," Marlene said with a smirk, "And don't think that we all haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?" Lily said slightly annoyed.

"You and James getting along again," She said grinning, "Ever since the pair of you fought those nasty Slytherins, you've been uncharacteristically nice to him."

"Yeah, well he fought beside me and jumped in front of that curse. He's changed a lot since last year, but also I suppose I never really saw the good in him that was there before," Lily shrugged.

"Oh you are so in love with him," Marlene smirked.

Lily turned to her, "I am not in love with James, we're friends and that's all it'll ever be."

"Keep telling yourself that," Marlene said in a sing-songy voice.

"I will," she said stubbornly, "Now what about you? Sirius lives with the Potter's now, does he not?"

"All the better," Marlene said raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"You're as bad as Sirius!" Lily exclaimed laughing. She stirred the potion one last time before calling her Professor over.

"Oho! It's gorgeous, Miss Evans. You have the hand of a natural potioneer," Professor Slughorn told her, "And you've done better than usual, Miss McKinnon. Very good, very good indeed." The class had begun to pack up and file out the door.

"Sir? I haven't heard anything about your annual Christmas party," Lily said. Slughorn's face fell.

"Yes, yes of course. Dumbledore didn't think the party would be good for the student's welfare given the- the er- circumstances," Slughorn rambled. Lily shot him a questioning look. "The Headmaster is under the impression that the party may be seen as a target for an attack or something along those lines," Slughorn whispered.

"But it's Hogwarts. There isn't a safer place."

"Yes but I always allow my past students or other important people to visit during the party. And I'm a bit ashamed to say this but some of my old students could be a Death Eater. It is impossible to tell," Slughorn said quietly, regret flickered in his eyes for a moment before his usual bubbly self returned.

"Anywho, I hope you have a great holiday, dear." he said cheerily.

"Thanks sir!" Lily said before hurrying out the door. She didn't want to be the last one back to the Common Room. She grabbed her stuff and rushed out the door, to see a tall messy haired boy awaiting her.

"Oh my God! You scared me," Lily said clutching her chest. He should've known better than to wait behind corners like that, seeing as that was exactly how Mulciber, Avery, and Regulus snuck up on her.

"Sorry, love," James said playfully until he saw the real fear in her eyes, "Hey I didn't mean to scare you." Lily nodded and began walking again, not waiting for him.

"You sure you're alright?" James asked catching up to her.

"Yeah, of course. Just reminded me of... y'know," Lily said trailing off. "Why did you hang back anyways?" James ran a hand sheepishly through his hair as they walked side by side.

"Well, I wanted to make sure nothing- er- that nothing happened to you like the other day," James told her avoided her gaze.

"How many times do I need to tell you? I don't need you to play the hero," Lily said suddenly annoyed. She was looking for a fight, all day she had been frustrated. Frustrated with Marlene's teasing, with Mary for nagging her about helping her study, with Remus because he didn't show up in the library to study, and with James. Everything today just seemed to aggravate her.

"I'm not trying to play the hero!" James said defencively, "What's wrong with a little chivalry?"

"It's sexist, that's what! Besides if you haven't forgot, you're the one who got hit by that awful curse. Not me! I was handling the three of them just fine on my own," Lily spat. She was fed up with everyone walking on eggshells around her. She wasn't even the one who got hurt!

"I know you can handle yourself. You're the top of our class, for Merlin's sake. But in case you've forgot, I am not the one who's being targeted. And if it's in my power to make sure you don't have to experience that again, then I will. Especially if it's something as simple as staying a minute after class!" James shouted back with equal intensity. Lily felt hot tears burning in the corner of her eyes, she viciously blinked to keep them at bay.

"Say something, will you?" James said watching her stand there wordlessly.

"I hate this," Lily said quietly. James' eyebrows furrowed.

"What?"

"I hate you being right. I hate being targeted. I hate being scared and angry all the time. I hate being looked down on and making all my friends looked down on too. I hate how the world I love is so so messed up. And I hate you, James Potter," Lily said tears spilling out of her eyes. She could do nothing to control the hot tears streaking down her cheek and James' gentle fingers brushing them away.

"Nah, you don't," he said quietly, "We're friends now. And friends are there for each other. So I will look out for you and you do the same for me." Lily looked into his big eyes, he seemed to be waiting for her rejection.

"You're right," she said softly watching his lips transform into a smile.

"That's the second time you said that today. I reckon that's a record."

"Oh shut up, Potter," Lily said. James slung an arm around her shoulder and smiled.

"Now I know you're feeling better." James told her. Lily couldn't help but smile as well, he had that effect on people. He knew how to cheer people up and Lily used to be so focused on not letting him when they were younger. She would force her smiles down and yell at him, because she was one of the few who had the courage to. But now... now her feelings were all muddled and confused. She was frustrated by the world, but James was a consistent person she could rely on. And it's hard to go from enemy to friends in a few short months, but Remus was right: she needed people who would always be on her side. And James was loyal to a fault.

"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" James asked as they neared the Common Room.

"Heading home to my family. That's what I usually do," Lily said, "I hear you're letting Marlene stay with you."

"Yeah. With all that she's been through, it's the least I can do. I mean she's hurting more than she lets on, I'm sure you'd know better than most," James said sadly, "We figured that her dad could use some time for himself and I'd hate to leave her all alone at Hogwarts. So my mum offered and I think Marlene was more than happy to. Both of our parents were all real good friends, so Marlene and I have known each other for years. We have attended so many balls and parties together. And we are distant cousins in some respect too. To be honest it's easier not to try and trace your ancestors in pureblood familes, it gets too confusing. It's weird knowing that the girl you're snogging is probably your third cousin once removed or something."

"Interesting, at least I don't have to worry about it," Lily said. "And just so you know, I'm really glad you're letting her stay over your house. She could use the two of you to cheer her up."

"And you too," James said. Lily looked at him confused.

"Huh?"

"Didn't I tell you?" James stopped walking, "You're invited too. And Remus and Peter of course..."

"No you most certainly did not extend the invitation. And while I'm flattered, I simply can't accept," Lily told him.

"Why not?"

"I told you that I need to patch things up with Petunia," Lily huffed. She really didn't have time to go over all of their old conversations.

"Well sure, but will that take the whole break?" James asked poutily.

Lily nodded, "I want to spend as much time with her as I can. We haven't had a good relationship since I was nine years old. So two weeks is nothing compared to seven years."

"Promise me that you'll at least make it to the New Year's party?" James pleaded, "It's a tradition that the Prewetts always hosted, but they gave it up this year because Alice Prewett is getting married to Frank Longbottom soon, they're two Aurors, and my parents volunteered to host it instead. It would mean the world to me if you came." After James begged, Lily finally sighed.

"I'll see if I'm around. I may have to go to a Muggle party instead," Lily told him. She was actually excited to be invited despite her seeming reluctance. She had never been to a ball outside of school before. Hopefully know one would think less of her being Muggleborn.

"Brilliant!" James said, "Here is some Floo Powder for if you can come. Just say Potter Manor." He handed her a small bag of floo powder.

"Thanks James. Now if you'll excuse me, I have packing to do," Lily said before turning on her heels and heading towards the dormitory. She didn't see his eyes full of wonder and disbelief as they watched her retreat to her dormitory.

"C'mon. We better go get our trunks before the train heads back to Hogwarts!" Sirius yelled as they got off the train last.

"I wouldn't mind if you were sent back, Padfoot," James joked.

"Uncalled for," Sirius said mock offended. Lily looked around at Platform 9 3/4. The place never ceased to amaze her. It was the place that first truly connected her to the magical world and made her feel like she truly belonged. She saw the little First Years running to their amazed parents. They seemed like they were bursting with excitement and wonder, ready to tell them all about their newfound magic. She saw Seventh Years, still with wide smiles as Christmas break neared. Then she saw her family. Her tall and slender sister, with her blond hair and long neck. She stood with her arms crossed, but Lily could see a ghost of a smile on her face nontheless. Behind her sister were her parents: Rose and Fredrick Evans. Her mother had her wide grin and her father with a look of wonder to match Lily's. Lily waved to her family and hurried off the platform.

"Is that your family?" James said as he pulled her trunk out.

"Yeah that's them."

"I suppose I'll go say hello," James said grinning.

"What!? No no no, you will not," Lily said grabbing his sleeve.

"Why not? We're friends," James protested.

"Yeah but then they will assume you're my boyfriend, again! Or have you forgot third year?" Lily said exasperated.

"I only introduced myself. I don't see what is so wrong with that," James defended himself, smiling.

"Introduced yourself as my boyfriend. They wouldn't shut up about you all summer," Lily told him.

"Did they now," James said interested, "What did they say?"

"They were under the impression that you'd be good for me," Lily said.

"No doubt," James said making Lily roll her eyes, "Oh here they come." Lily turned around to see her family waiting for them.

"Mum! Dad! Tuney!" Lily said happily. She rushed over to hug them and could feel her sister as stiff as ever. Petunia pulled away slightly disgusted and Lily felt the hurt pouring in.

"Oh Lily, we've missed you," her mother said hugging her. When they broke apart she saw her dad's questioning stare pointed at James behind her. She had forgot James was still here.

"Are you going to introduce us?" Lily's mum pressed. She saw a slight blush on her mother's face, seeing James. Lily had to admit that James was a good looking guy, but that was definitely a gross thing to think about. Even grosser for her mum to think so too.

"Oh yeah-" Lily began when James jumped forward extending his large calloused hands.

"James Potter. I'm a friend of Lily's," James said, his voice dripping with charm. Lily snorted.

"You look familiar, have we met before?" Lily's dad asked cautious. Lily never let her parents meet her boyfriends, granted there had only ever been two. Not that James was her boyfriend or anything.

"Yeah we have actually," James said finding Lily's eyes, suppressing a laugh, "That was back in third year."

"I remember you. The one who introduced himself as Lily's boyfriend," Lily's mum said with realization dawning on her. James grinned sheepishly and said, "Well I might have had a bit of a crush on Lily here."

"Understatement," Lily said under her breath so only James could hear.

"Do a lot of blokes in Hogwarts have a crush on my Lily?" her dad asked inquisitively. Lily froze and with her eyes she begged James to not say anything.

"Of course sir, loads of guys fancy Lily," James said winking. Her dad's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"He's joking Dad," Lily said shooting daggers at James, "James tends to have a wild imagination."

"I can't deny that," James said holding his hands in the air, "but loads of guys do fancy you." The last part he said just to her, so her parents didn't hear.

"So we should probably get going, I suppose," Lily said breaking the silence. She turned to say goodbye to James, who pulled her into a long hug. For a moment she got lost in his scent, a flowery scent, different than what she remembered him to smell like. She buried her face in his warm shoulder, forgetting herself for a second.

"Come to my party," James breathed into her ear.

"Alright," Lily responded breathily. She patted him on the back and released him, she turned to face her family. All of them watched her and James with an odd look on their faces. Lily blushed and began to pull her trunk. She waved to James over her shoulder. He hadn't moved from where they hugged, shock and joy were left on his face. And Lily was sure her face had the same silly grin.

"So Tuney, how did that date of yours go back in September?" Lily asked the next morning.

"Oh quite well actually. He's my boyfriend now."

"Oh? What's his name?"

"His name is Vernon Dursley," Petunia said stiffly, but Lily watched Petunia hold her head slightly higher after revealing that she is in a relationship.

"Where did you meet Vernon?"

"Last summer at my internship. He is very high up there. Very important," Petunia said.

"That's nice. When do I get to meet him," Lily asked.

"I believe that him and Marge are coming over for Christmas dinner," Petunia said.

"Who's Marge?"

"Vernon's sister. Nasty woman though," Petunia said with bitter chuckle, "She's always setting her dogs onto me."

"I'm sure she'll come around," Lily said comforting her sister.

"You might be."

"Where does he work again?" Lily asked politely. Their entire conversation seemed unnatural and oddly formal, which was more pleasant than a shouting match, but at least those were natural. This just felt like they were both trying too hard.

"Grunnings Drill Factory."

"And do you still work there too?"

"No, I decided that there were more suitable career choices for a woman of my status," Petunia said, raising her head a bit higher. Lily took this to mean that Petunia had been fired.

"So we never really got to talk much before I went back to school, so I just wanted to make sure things were alright between us," Lily rambled. She saw her sister's expression soften then harden again.

"Look, you're my sister and we'll always be sisters, but we are part of two different worlds. And our worlds do not belong together, they just don't. And I'm sorry if the w-wizards don't accept you but you aren't one of us anymore either," Petunia said, trying to soften the blow.

"That's a horrible thing to say. I thought you understood what I'm going through," Lily said. She thought they were past this. Somehow this hurt more than their usual arguments, because this time she had hope.

"Lily, it's just my life is here and yours isn't. My life is with Vernon and I love him. Eventually I'll have to tell him about your situation and he won't want me to associate myself with... with people like you," Petunia said in a choked voice.

"Just say it, just say I'm a freak! You've never hesitated before! Say you wish you never knew me! Tell me and I'll leave. If you really hate me I'll go!" Lily shouted fed up. She couldn't handle her sister. She couldn't handle how she was trying to soften the blow.

"I don't hate you. It's just we... we are beyond repair," Petunia said sounding ashamed.

"That's because of you, not me! I've put up with all the horrible things you've said, brushed them off. But this hurts more than any of that did. Before the year started you gave me hope that I might get my sister back, that I might have a stable family. But no, and don't try to blame this on your new little high class boyfriend. You believe the same thing: I'm a freak. This is just an excuse for you," Lily yelled. After a moment Petunia was crying and Lily was fuming. When Petunia didn't respond or deny it she calmly continued, "I'll go. You've made it clear I'm unwanted here." She turned around and Petunia looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't. And Lily didn't turn back again.

Lily ran up the stairs, her tears spilling hot and passionately. She repacked her trunk and books, throwing everything in without her usual precision. She ran to her parents room and burst in. They looked up to her in surprise.

"What's wrong dear?" her dad asked.

"I'm leaving," Lily said between breaths, "I'm going. I can't stay here anymore. I can't take her."

"You're just going to leave your family?" her dad asked hurt.

"I love you guys, but I can't be around her anymore. It hurts too much, I thought we were going to be alright, but she's made it very clear," Lily said hugging her parents. They looked at each other, then to Lily and her dad spoke, "Where will you go?" The first person that popped into her head was Marlene, and Marlene was at the Potter's.

"I'm going to the Potter's," Lily said spontaneously.

"With the boy we met?" her dad said defencively.

"They are letting Marlene stay there, because her mum died. I need to be with her," Lily said. She didn't care that her father might think James and Lily were up to something, because they weren't. And that wasn't the point.

"Oh Lily," her mum said bringing her into a tight hug, "I'm sorry you feel like you can't stay here anymore." Lily nodded bringing on a fresh wave of tears.

"I'm sorry Mum, I just have to go," she said.

"We get it honey. Just write to us, we will always be here for you," her mother promised.

"Goodbye," Lily said with her voice cracking. Lily went into her fireplace and threw the powder into it.

"Potter Manor," She said loudly and clearly. She didn't want to mess it up. The ashy substance floated in the air, entering her lungs as she went into the fire.

She envisioned James' house to be well a house, but she was astonished with a mansion. It was absurdly long, and judging by the windows, at least three floors. Breath-taking gardens and architecture filled the giant property. There were arch ways, timber beams, flagstones, statues of magical creatures. She forgot about her problems for a moment and took in everything. There was a large swimming pool, a pristine looking Quidditch Pitch, fountains, a small lake, and so many things that Lily couldn't have dreamt of. For a moment she considered leaving, she could never fit in here and she didn't want to intrude on the Potter's home. But here she was, already inside of James Potter's mansion.

"Hello," said the older woman who came into the living room, "How can I help you, dear?"

"I- I'm a friend of James'" Lily said trying to pull herself together. The woman waved her to come follow her. She had black hair streaked with gray, pulled back into a tight bun. The woman reminded Lily of Professor McGonagoll, only with a more relaxed demeanor.

"You wouldn't happen to be Lily, would you?" the woman asked with a knowing look. Lily nodded.

"Oh I've heard so much about you. I'm glad someone can keep James in check," the black-haired woman said with a laugh. She led Lily towards the front entrance, where two large stair cases were on opposite sides of the hall. There were banners and portraits filling the walls. The ceilings were incredibly high and a balcony was on the second floor overlooking where they stood.

"I try my best," Lily said with a sad smile.

"I'm James' mum by the way. I'll go get him to bring your trunk to an empty room," Mrs. Potter said.

"Thank you Mrs. Potter, but I just wanted to see him, Sirius, and Marlene. I can find somewhere else to stay," Lily stammered.

"Nonsense, you can stay here. We have plenty of rooms up there just collecting dust. And you can call me Euphemia," James's mother said with another warm smile. Then she yelled upstairs, "JAMES, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE!"

"COMING!" James yelled back. Lily heard loud footsteps and James rushed downstairs. She saw his messy black hair and chiseled face and her breath caught. She didn't realize how much she had missed seeing him every day.

"Lily?" James said confused, "What's wrong?" He voice caught when he saw her tears and puffy eyes.

"I- my sister," Lily choked out, "I told you I was trying to get her to understand me, but she hates me and I can't stay with her any longer. I told you what she thinks of wizards, and nothing has changed. Nothing except a walrus shaped man named Vernon Dursley." James chuckled when she said that and pulled her into a long hug. Lily would've stayed there forever, feeling warm and safe, but Marlene and Sirius came bustling down the stairs.

"Oi, it's Red," Sirius said to Marlene.

"Lily!" Marlene said excited. James and Lily broke apart and Lily gave her best friend a weak smile. "What happened?"

"Tuney, well she hates me. Well she has since I became a witch, and I was always able to brush it off. But it hurts too much now, because she gave me hope that we'd be ok. Then when I came home she squashed it," Lily said.

"Oh Lils," Marlene came over and hugged her, she smelled suspiciously like Sirius. Lily turned to James, "I'm sorry for barging in here. If you guys want I'll go. I could probably stay at the Leaky Cauldron or something," Lily said apologetically.

"Don't be silly. You'll stay here, right James?" Marlene said as if she lived there.

"'Course," James told her, "Anything you need." Lily was overwhelmed by their hospitality. The Potters just took in James' friends without question. First Sirius who escaped his parents, then Marlene whose mother died, and now Lily.

"C'mon, we'll show you your room," Marlene said happily. She grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her up the stairs. That left James and Sirius to bring her things upstairs, without magic.

"This place is huge!" Lily whispered in amazement. Large magical portraits filled the hallway. One depicted James flying on his broom and scoring the Quaffle. There were large chandiliers and and other expensive looking fixtures.

"Yeah, a lot of ancient bloodlines have manors like this. James is richer than he lets on at school," Marlene said.

"Who knew James could be so modest," Lily said with a giggle.

"He's a good guy, Lils," Marlene said seriously. Lily was used to this conversation and she usually answered the same way, by denying it. But she couldn't do that anymore, he was too good to her for her to say he wasn't a good person.

"Yeah, yeah he is," Lily told her. Marlene gave her a knowing smile.

"Do you like him?" Marlene asked quietly after a few moments. It was out of character for Marlene to be so gentle about it. They had had the same conversation a few days earlier where Marlene had been quite pushy. But this approach made Lily much more comfortable.

"No, I don't think so at least. I mean we were enemies for so long and everything is changing so fast. I'm just confused," Lily sighed. Marlene's smile hadn't faded and she began to speak again.

"It doesn't help that he's so good looking, does it?"

"I guess, but I don't think I like him. It's just a sudden change in feelings. I think it's just messing with my head," Lily explained.

"You'll figure it out in due time. James would wait on you forever, y'know," Marlene said.

"Yeah, I know." She hated it. She felt like she didn't deserve him.

"This one is your room. Mine is the next one over,"

"D'you wanna talk about your sister, or not yet?" Marlene asked. Lily didn't think she deserved a best friend as good as Marlene. She was being so good to her.

"I think I just want to forget that that is going on right now. Just tell me about your life. How has the Potter's been?" Lily asked. She needed a distraction and Marlene was more than willing to talk.

"It's been wonderful. The Potter's are wonderful. We've been out playing Quidditch and playing Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess. Everything's just been loads of fun. And it was definitely something I needed. My dad- well he needed some time for himself. So did I. I can't look at him without thinking of my mum. And I don't think he can look at me either without thinking of her. He always told me that I looked so much like my mum," Marlene said with a small smile and tears in the corners of her eyes.

"You do look just like her, y'know. And I'm glad you've been so happy here," Lily said, hugging her friend.

"It helps having Sirius here too. He's a good distraction from everything. He just makes me happy when I see him, y'know," Marlene said, wiping the tears away.

"Are you guys going to date?" Lily wondered. "Like officially."

"I don't really think that's his style."

"But would it be something you're interested in?"

"I- well I dunno. I've never really dated anyone like that before. And from my knowledge, neither has he." Marlene twirled her hair with her fingers, distracting herself.

"I think you'd both be good together. And there is a first time for everything," Lily told her.

"Yeah maybe," Marlene replied. The two girls sat side by side for awhile, lost in their thoughts. Lily was still in awe of the turn of events and so miserable about her sister.

~James~ A Taste of Romance

James Potter was nervous and excited, but mostly nervous. Lily sodding Evans was staying in his house! This was the first place she thought to come when she needed a place to go. He knew that it probably had more to do with Marlene than him, but still! She came to his house. He wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted her to feel loved, especially now when she was feeling down. He wished his house wasn't so over the top, but Lily didn't seem to mind. In fact she seemed rather fascinated with Potter Manor's history and architecture, and for that he was grateful. She got along amazingly with his parents. They adored her. And tonight was the New Year's Ball and it was a chance, despite how slim, that he and Lily may kiss. James attempted to tie his tie, but just couldn't get it right. His hair was all rumpled and messy and his dress robes had a stain from when Sirius spilt firewhiskey. He wasn't ready and he was nervous.

"Oi, mate you're a mess!" Sirius said as he barged into James' room. Sirius was all ready with his wavy black hair pulled back and dressed in silky grey dress robes to match his eyes.

"I know, I know," James looked back into the mirror trying to pat his hair down once more.

"Ironic isn't it?" Sirius said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Your dad made Sleakeazy's Hair Potion, but it doesn't work on his own son's hair," Sirius said with a chuckle.

"Hilarius," James grumbled.

"Never said it was funny, just ironic. What's got you pissed off?" Sirius asked, taking offence.

"Sorry, Padfoot. I'm just nervous," James sighed. He gave up on his hair, there was no use. Sirius was right, his father's famous hair potion didn't work on him. It just made his hair greasier and look worse than before.

"Why? We're the fittest blokes of Hogwarts. And to top that you're the host, you get first pick," Siruis said grinning.

"I don't know..." James trailed off.

"Lily?" Sirius asked, his smile falling. James nodded, "Look, Prongs. It's about time you got over her. When was the last time you had a good snogging?" James thought that Sirius was being rhetorical, but then he realized Sirius was actually expecting an answer.

"Just before school started. That muggle girl, Julia," James said quietly. He knew Sirius would make a big deal about it. So what, he didn't get with a new girl every week, he was just waiting on the impossible girl. The girl who would never want him back.

"Before school! Merlin's beard, Prongs. You need this more than I thought," Siruis said outraged, then he quieted down. "Wait a minute, you hooked up with Julia?"

"Yeah, a bloody hot girl she is. That was a fun day, exploring a muggle town," James said looking back on the memory fondly.

"But she wouldn't let me even flirt with her," Sirius said confused.

"Well I guess we've solved who is better looking once and for all," James smirked.

"Says the bloke who hasn't touched a girl in 5 monthes," Sirius retorted.

"Shove off, Padfoot. I haven't been trying," James said defencively, "Why don't we make a bet?"

"I'm listening."

"Whoever can land a snog first makes the other buy their sweets from the Trolley Lady on the train," James said, "And it can't be Marlene."

"But me and Marlene-" Sirius protested.

"Aren't official and are in it just for a shag," James finished, "Don't pretend like you don't see other people on the side."

"Yeah but still..." Sirius closed his eyes.

"You meant it when you said you fancied her, didn't you?" James said in a quiet realization. Sirius wasn't one to catch feelings and here he was.

"Yeah."

"Then why aren't you dating? Why are keeping it casual?" James asked confused.

"I don't know how she feels about it. We talked about it once and that was post-shagging so it doesn't even count. Then we broke up the next day and she wouldn't speak to me for monthes. So it's a bit complicated," Sirius said dramatically.

"Doesn't sound complicated to me. Padfoot, you can't blame her for not speaking to you. After she heard rumours about you cheating she found out her mother died. She's hurting. She needs more than a shag, she needs you, mate," James told him. "Forget about the bet. Tell her how you feel tonight."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" Sirius said, "Our relationship and friendship will be ruined!"

"No it won't. I told Lily I loved her and we are fine," James said cheerfully.

"She was pissed at you for weeks! You're only fine because the two of you saved each other's lives," Sirius corrected.

"It's different for you and Marlene. Lily and I are only friends and before that we were enemies for years. But you and Marlene have a relationship already, just make it official," James insisted.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Lovely," James said pleased, "Now I need to rid my robes of the firewhiskey you spilt, because you were pissed out of your mind."

"That was a good night," Sirius laughed, "Besides, your a wizard aren't you? Scourgify!" Pink bubbles began scrubbing the dress robes, removing the stain.

"Thanks, now get out so I can change," James scolded.

"Gladly," Sirius said before going out the door. Once he heard it slam shut he began to get into his dress robes. They were plain black with a white bowtie. He wanted to look as presentable as possible and these were his finest robes. He looked into the mirror, trying to console his nerves but it was a fruitless task. Something about Lily made him nervous.

James stepped out into the ballroom for the first time. The room had completely transformed. Everything was grander and more magnificient. And it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, the magic was common during galas and balls, but it still took his breath anyway. He barely had time to recover his breath when Lily stepped out. She wore a dark purple dress, that reflected the magical lights that floated above them. Her face was bare of makeup or at least it seemed to be. Not that it mattered, because either way she looked incredible. He hadn't realized he was staring until Lily found his eyes. Her smile grew from the pure amazement she had when she entered the room too. She walked over to him with a slight blush on her cheeks. Somehow it made her even prettier. James snapped out of it and walked over to her too. He smiled softly at her and simply said, "Hey."

"Hey," Lily responded, her voice almost a whisper.

"You look really pretty, y'know." Not pretty. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Enchanting. Perfect.

"Thanks. And you look handsome," she replied with a beaming smile. His heart practically melted at her words. She was everything.

"What do you think?" James asked, motioning to the party behind him.

"I've never seen anything like it. It's breath taking," Lily said with wide sparkling eyes. James smiled at her word choice, the exact same that he was thinking.

"Much more dignified than muggle parties," Lily giggled.

"What are they like?" James asked. He never thought about how muggles have equivalents in their world.

"Muggle parties?" Lily asked. James nodded. "Oh well they involve a lot of alcohol, too many people, and loud music. The alcohol is much stronger than the normal wizard stuff. And the music has a lot of profanity. And usually the police have to come and shut it down. Scary stuff if I'm being honest."

"Do you go to these parties a lot?"

"No, not really. They aren't exactly my scene," Lily explained, "They aren't fun unless you are drunk, but I don't trust drunk boys very much."

"I guess there's no drinking for me then," James said half joking. He honestly wouldn't drink if it made her uncomfortable.

"Oh don't get the wrong idea, James. I meant muggle boys. On wizards I can just hex the living daylights out of them," Lily said laughing. James chuckled as well.

"Good because I like my firewhiskey," James said pulling her by the hand.

"What are you doing?" Lily said smiling.

"We're getting drinks. Too bad they aren't as strong as Muggle's," James kidded.

"Shove off. I'll have to take you to one sometime. Otherwise you'll never shut up," Lily said.

"Kissing is also an effective method of shutting me up," James flirted.

"Is it?" Lily said perusing the drink options with her thin fingers. His stomach flipped and his heart sped up. He hoped she didn't know how nervous she made him, how fast and loud his heart pounded against his chest.

"Yeah," James said watching her carefully as she didn't shut him down. She bit her bottom lip, refusing to meet his eyes. They were centimetres away and he could see her flushed face. She finally looked up at him, making eye contact, and leaning in ever slightly. His heart pounded in his chest and he was holding his breath.

"Well I'll have to let Melissa Bones know," Lily said very close to his face. She spoke in a breathy voice that made his heart skip a beat. He saw her smirk grow and realized what she said.

"You did that on purpose!" James protested.

"Not sure what you mean," Lily said innocently.

"You did that lip biting thing- and er- you got real close- argh! Evans get back here!" James explained as she turned away. Before she walked away her eyes caught his and she winked at him. Last year James would have never dreamt that Lily freaking Evans would be winking at him. Even if she was just joking it was incredible. James walked to the nearest chair and slumped against it.

"Alright Prongs?" Peter asked sitting next to him.

"Yeah, brilliant actually," James said still in awe.

"Lily?" Peter asked. He seemed calmer than usual. James nodded. "The two of you's are meant to be together, y'know."

"How d'you figure?" James asked interested.

"Gut feeling," Peter said thoughtfully, "You know, Professor Patterson predicted it in Divination back in third year."

"You don't actually believe that, that divination rubbish I mean?" James questioned.

"Yeah, I do," Peter said sitting up straight. James was proud of him, he was standing on his own for once. James and the others always gave Divination a lot of heat, but if Peter thinks it's for real he will respect it.

"Don't you 'member what he said the first day?" Peter said convinced and confident. A new sound for him, "He said

'Eyes of emerald and fire;

A difficult love will transpire;

Brave of heart;

Born in the wake of death;

Souls never will part;

Together until the final breath;

A single goal unite them forever;

Protect the fawn's endeavor."

James remembered that day vividly. At the time he hadn't thought much of it. It was simply more rubbish that he spewed each class. Peter looked at him with wide eyes waiting for him to see what he saw.

"Don't you see?" Peter said increduously, "'Eye's of emerald and fire'. Lily's got green eyes and yours are kinda fiery I guess. 'Brave of heart' both of you's are Gryffindor. And naturally your love'll be difficult seein' as she's hated you up 'till now. And innit odd that he used the word fawn. As in baby deer as in stag. And two years later we learnt that you're a stag. That's your spirit animal, if you will."

"But that could be anyone, Pete. And I'm sure Patterson was just making things up as he went," James said but he was unconvinced that Peter was wrong. But James had been chasing after Lily since the beginning of fifth year and he wasn't about to get his hopes up now.

"It's obvious though innit! You can't give up on her, Prongs. Protect the fawn," Peter begged. It all seemed like nonsense, but he had a feeling that his friend wouldn't leave him alone.

"Alright, I won't give up on her. I wouldn't even if we didn't talk about it, but right now we are just friends. I'm not messing that up for something Patterson vaguely spewed three years ago," James said warningly.

"Cool," Peter said smiling widely. James had no idea his friend was such a hopeless romantic. He watched his mousy friend disappear into the crowd. James stood up and went to get a drink, he never managed to get one when he was with Lily. James saw Remus there too, also alone.

"Hey Moony," James said reaching for a drink. He decided on Blishen's Firewhiskey. A favourite of his at Hog's Head, Scotland's finest.

"Hey," Remus said rather glumly.

"What's that you're drinking?" James said looking into Remus' cup.

"Chocolate liquier," Remus took a swig, "Pretty good."

"Always thought you were more of an elderflower wine guy?" James teased.

"You're thinking of Peter," Remus joked back before taking another long sip of his liquor. "I need my drinks strong."

"Something wrong, mate?" James asked.

"Nah, just enjoying myself," Remus said bitterly. James followed his eyes which landed on a rather pretty girl. He was pretty sure it was Lily's dormmate, Emmeline Vance. He didn't think Lily and Emmeline were too close, but they were aquaintances for sure.

"Go talk to her," James encouraged. He nudged Remus's arm, who grunted and stayed put.

"I can't and you know this," Remus grumbled. Alcohol certainly wasn't helping Remus' mood.

"C'mon you've got like a week until that," James said.

"Five days, not counting today," Remus snarled, resembling his wolf side very much.

"Just talk to her, as a friend. You don't have to date her if you don't want but don't just stand in the corner all night," James patted Remus on the back.

"That's the issue. I want to date her. I want to find love or at least have the opportnity to try, but I can't. It's too dangerous," Remus pouted, taking another sip of his drink.

"Moony, go over there and talk to her. She keeps looking your way," James said as Emmeline glanced over blushing.

"She's just looking at you, everyone does," Remus grumbled resentfully.

"Tell me how you really feel," James joked, but Remus wasn't laughing. "Go talk to her or I'll go over there."

"Are you seriously threatening to date her?" Remus asked annoyed.

"'Course not. It would simply be Rule 6: Always be a good wing man," James explained, smiling in the dark.

"Fine, I'll go. But don't get any ideas to try and make anything happen with me and her," Remus said.

"I won't, I solemnly swear," James said with a face of stone. And for a moment he saw a smile crack on Remus' face. "Now go."

"I'm going, but you better find Lily. It's almost midnight," Remus said. James looked at his watch and cursed, Remus was right. He needed to find her. His eyes scanned the crowd, searching for for dark purple dress. He spotted Sirius talking to an extremely excited (and probably drunk) Marlene. Then he finally saw Lily. Only she was snuggled in someone else's arms. James couldn't see who it was, but they seemed quite cosy and intimate. They swayed quietly on the dance floor, in a sweet and tender way that James wished it was him sharing the moment with her instead. He felt jealousy course through his veins, a controlled rage that he was used to containing. But he didn't want the anger to go away, he left it bubbling beneath the surface. It was ready to overcome him if something set him off, but James chose to exert it in another fashion. Something he should've done months ago. Honestly he was pathetic. James caught the eye of Melissa Bones, the girl everyone knew was in love with James. He needed someone who was the opposite of Lily, someone who wanted him. She had blond hair and warm brown eyes, she looked absolutely nothing like Lily. Her hair was mid-length and curly, her lips were large and soft looking. James swooped in behind her.

"Ready for the New Year?" James whispered in her ear. She turned around batting her long lashes and smiled at him.

"Almost," the girl replied.

"Yeah? What else do you need?"

"Someone to kiss me," Melissa whispered back. And James leaned in, cupping her face with his calloused hands. He let his anger uncoil, kissing this girl rough. She moaned into his mouth and dug her nails into his back. He dug his tongue into her mouth and explored it. Her breath smelled of alcohol and he was sure his did as well. Finally he broke apart from her lips, he stared into her warm brown eyes. Eyes of a pretty girl, a nice girl, a smart girl, but a girl who wasn't Lily Evans.

"We can continue that in a moment," James breathed into her ear. He felt her shudder from his touch. He ran his hand up and down her spine, watching her squirm. He wasn't even trying and she was melting at his touch.

"I'm counting on it," Melissa replied. He looked up at the sparks in the air that counted the time down. It was the last minute of 1976 and James had his regrets. But he had to let those go in the New year. Nevertheless, as the count down continued he searched for Lily. Their eyes connected for a moment too long and he saw her glare. A glare she reserved for when she was mad at him, but he hadn't done a thing wrong. She dropped her eyes and her anger dissolved, but James' didn't. He was too invested in her.

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE-" the attendees yelled together. Melissa wormed her hand into his and he didn't pull away. He couldn't let his one sided feelings for Lily disturb him any longer. He didn't care what he told Peter, because James needed to be over Lily. And if Lily at any point wanted him, however unlikely that may be, then James would drop everything for her. He just couldn't help it. She was his weakness and there was no getting over Lily Evans.

"FOUR, THREE-" the crowd roared. James looked for Lily's eyes again, but they were locked on none other than Edgar Bones. Melissa's older brother and Lily's ex-boyfriend. James felt a his stomach drop, this wasn't good.

"TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone screamed. James was in a daze as Melissa tugged on his perfectly made tie and pulled his lips to hers. After a few moments he collected himself and kissed her back. What seemed like minutes later, they broke apart. Melissa was gasping for breath, as was Lily across the room. He watched Lily blush and pull Edgar towards the corridor. James felt his heart drop because that was the corridor that led to her room.

"C'mon Mel, let's get out of here," James pulled Melissa by the hand. James usually enjoyed the fireworks for awhile, but not tonight. Definitely not tonight.

**AN: That was a long one. Almost 8,500 words. Thanks for reading it. And to those who favorited/followed/reviewed, thank you so much. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Red and Moony

Lily groggily sat up in her bed, with light pouring through the windows. She yawned and got out of bed, stretching. Lily froze when she saw a person laying beside her. Lily gasped in surprise, but then she realized it was only Edgar and her heart rate slowed. She trusted him. Her memories of last night came flooding back. Lily sat back down on her bed, deep in thought. She had been hanging out with James and she even flirted with him a little. Then she went to dance where she saw Edgar. They talked for awhile and he was very sweet and considerate and handsome. She learnt that he was in the Auror Program which was a big change from his old ambitions. He said he wanted to make a difference and that being an Auror was the best way he knew. And she was happy to see him, they hadn't really spoken since this time last year and Lily missed him. He was a nice guy and a sweet friend. She knew they weren't meant to be and was completely content with just staying friends, but then he began kissing her. And she kissed him back. She wasn't sure what she was thinking. Maybe she was just tired and tipsy. Or maybe she wanted someone to fill the lonlieness that she felt. The void that those who had left her had left. Edgar was there and he was speaking such valiant words about the war. She finally remembered the poetic and morally correct man that she had dated so briefly. So she kissed him back and she liked it.

But after midnight she was too tired to go on. Edgar hadn't made her feel whole again and her heart throbbed at the sight of James and Melissa. She wanted to go to bed, but Edgar didn't want to leave her. And Lily could've kicked him out, but on some level she didn't want to be alone either. So Lily and Edgar slept together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. Now he was still here and Lily didn't know what to think about it. She liked Edgar, he's nice and good-looking, but they ended for a reason. Now she was finally becoming super close to James, who despised Edgar. And on top of that she almost kissed James last night. Lily was a mess and she needed to clear her head. Lily walked out of her room careful to not wake Edgar and she tiptoed to a nearby balcony. There were plants growing all up the walls and in hanging pots giving it a natural feel. It reminded her of the Herbology room.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," A voice said after pulling the door open. Lily spun around and saw James looking sad and tired.

"It's alright," Lily said. James began to pull the doors closed and Lily stopped him.

"Stay, it's your house after all." Lily removed her hand from his upper arm. James shrugged and walked into the plant filled balcony. He leant over the edge, his disheveled hair catching the light.

"Happy New Year, James," Lily said smiling.

"Happy New Year, Lily," he replied still not facing her.

"Do you come out here a lot?"

"Only when I need to clear my head," he said. She didn't know how to respond to that, but she was here for the same reason.

"Are you ready for school?" Lily pried. She hated him being so reclusive.

"Yes."

"Have any pranks planned?"

"I thought you can't condone that, Evans." James said, finally facing her. He had large bags beneath his fiery eyes and his expression was defiant. Lily knew there was more to his rotten mood than being hungover.

"Is this about Edgar?" Lily said remembering what Edgar had said to James in Hogsmeade.

"Never mind," James grumbled looking out towards the lawn again.

"No, tell me James. Are you mad at me because Edgar and I kissed last night?" Lily insisted. She reached out to his shoulder trying to make him look at her.

"Seemed like the two of you did a lot more than kiss," James muttered bitterly.

"Are you joking?" Lily said dismayed, "I hope you are kidding. I would never. I have never. Oh my God James, I seriously can't believe you right now!"

"We all saw you bring Edgar up to your room. And no one saw him leave!"

"I can't believe you were stalking me. And Edgar stayed in my room overnight, but we did not have sex!" Lily shouted.

"How should I know that!" James yelled back, shaking his head.

"You shouldn't and to be perfectly honest it's none of your business," Lily said hurt. She thought James could've got over her by now. She thought that he was at least going to hide his feelings.

"It is too my business if you're off with some bloke shagging in my home!" James defended.

"You think I'm some tart running off to her ex just for something to do?" Lily scoffed, "That's honestly who you think I am?"

"I- I dunno what to think-"

"And somehow no one would exactly judge you if you brought Melissa back to your room. Instead you'd be congratulated for it." Her tone was bitter. She had so many things to say, but she wanted to hear his defence, however weak.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so judgemental, I just don't want to see you get hurt," James said quieter.

"It isn't your job, James. I can take care of myself," Lily said just as quiet. Her heart panged as she saw him in pain.

"I know, I just- It hurts me everytime I see you cry. Or whenever you're sad," James said. Lily heard his words and the pain flowing through them. And somehow, his pain took away her anger.

"You can't help it can you?" Lily said forgetting her anger for a moment, "You can't help but say the sweetest things."

"Well most of the time the things I say make you angry," James said with a weak smile.

"Not anymore," she told him with a smile too, "Granted you do make me angry, but I know you have good intentions."

"What are friends for," James said his smile fading. Lily knew he didn't want to just be friends and she was conflicted on how she felt too. Her feelings were muddled and confusing. She gulped and gave him a brief hug. She couldn't help herself.

"I suppose we should go back now," James said tentatively. He seemed to be in a rush and almost like he couldn't stand to be around her. Odd seeing the conversation they had had.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute," Lily said. James nodded and exited the balcony leaving Lily to her thoughts. She couldn't actually like James, could she? No, she's despised him for too long and he always tries to play the hero. And he's just been accusing her of being a slag. She can't be with someone like that, she needs to stand on her own and prove that she's as good as any pureblood. James is the opposite of what she needs. He's a troublemaker, he partakes in illegal activities, and is too confident for his own good. But he's sweet, and brilliant, he sticks up for his friends, takes people in because he knows he has the perfect life so he uses it to help people. He's brave, and cute, and has a big heart. Lily stands there in frustration as good thoughts of James bring a smile to her face. Lily can't like James Potter. She just can't.

Lily sighed and exited the balcony, returning to her room. She saw Edgar sitting on her bed, his face lighting up when he saw her. His hair was the messiest she had ever seen and it seemed unnatural to look so... well natural.

"Lily!" he exclaimed.

"Hey Edgar," Lily said.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, but we need to talk," Lily said bluntly. She didn't want to mislead him. It wouldn't be fair, because she knew her feelings didn't belong with Edgar, she wasn't sure what they were yet, but definitely not with Edgar.

"Look Edgar, you're a great guy-" Lily said.

"Oh, it's that kind of talk," Edgar sighed.

"I'm sorry. But you truly are a great guy, just not the one for me," Lily tried to gentle. "Besides I'm still in school and you are becoming an Auror. It just wouldn't work."

"Got it, it was bound to come. Tell James I said hello," Edgar said rising from the bed.

"Why does every guy compare them to another guy in my life," Lily cried in frustration. And it always came back to James.

"Because any guy that has the chance to be with someone as perfect as you, knows that they aren't worthy. That there is someone who will make you happier and just as perfect as you. Lilybear, no one measures up when they are beside you." Edgar said with a sad smile. Lily's heart swelled at his words, although she knew that they weren't true. Lily was no where near perfect. Probably further away than most.

"Edgar," Lily said softly, a smile prominent, "You're going to find someone perfect for you, I know it."

"So will you, but conviently enough you've already met him," Edgar said, "Everyone knows that you and James are meant to be together. Just promise me you won't let your stubborness prevent that from happening, okay?"

"I don't know..." Lily began. Now even her ex-boyfriend was saying it. Lily didn't want to be swayed by others, she needed to come to a conclusion by herself.

"But everyone else does, that is except you and James," Edgar said with a chuckle. "Even my sister knows it. She's just out here doing the same as me, trying to measure up."

"You don't need to measure up to anyone, especially not me. And James has liked me forever," Lily said.

"Yeah but like I said before, no one actually believes they have a chance with Lily Evans," Edgar said.

"Since when did you become so damn insightful?" Lily asked. This was the side of Edgar they were missing during their relationship. He was too busy trying to impress her that he forgot to be himself.

"Ever since I ruined my chance with you." His words broke her a little. Was she really that horrible? Edgar didn't deserve any of this. Not the heartbreak or the mess of an ex-girlfriend that Lily was.

"Take care Lily Evans," Edgar said before walking out the door.

"Wait!" Lily shouted. She ran over to him and kissed his cheek, "Goodbye Edgar Bones." He smiled at her with his classically handsome face, then he walked without looking back. Lily sighed, a huge weight lifting from her chest. But her feelings were as unsettling as ever, because they were starting to clear up.

"Hey Lils," Marlene said groggily exiting her room with Sirius.

"Merlin's saggy left-" Sirius said looking at Edgar walking away.

"Is that Edgar Bones? You two didn't-" Marlene said holding her hand over her mouth.

"No we didn't, alright. He insisted on staying and we slept next to one another, quite innocently. I just officially ended things with him," Lily scowled.

"How'd he take it?" Marlene asked.

"Well actually. He actually started saying how I belonged with James anyway," Lily laughed even though her thoughts were restless. She couldn't let them know what she was thinking or how she might feel about James.

"Interesting," Marlene said smiling at Sirius. To Lily's surprise, they didn't say another word about it, and Lily was content with that.

"Wanna grab breakfast ladies?" Sirius asked.

"Sounds lovely," Marlene said with a large grin.

"You two seem awfully chipper," Lily said with a pointed glance.

"Well last night-" Sirius began. Marlene burst into giggles, and Marlene never giggled.

"Oh I do not want to know," Lily said with her eyes wide with shock.

"If you say so, Red," Sirius said.

"Bugger off," Lily said, causing Sirius to laugh.

"Feisty isn't she? Just like my Marlene," Sirius said.

"I'm not your anything," Marlene said.

"What's a bloke gotta do around here, I mean we shagged just last night," Sirius whined in a joking way.

"That was more information than I needed, so I'll leave you guys alone for a bit," Lily said as Marlene kissed him. She hurried into the kitchen, thinking how lucky Sirius and Marlene were. They just easy together, they both wanted the same thing. Meanwhile Lily was stuck and confused. She saw Remus, Peter, and James sitting around their large table. Lily took the seat beside Remus, who looked paler and sicker than the day before.

"Feeling alright, Remus?" Lily asked. She knew the full moon was approaching, but he didn't know she knew about his condition. Anyway something seemed a bit more off than usual.

"I am an absolute idiot," Remus said burying his head in his hands. James looked at her as if to say, 'we've been trying, you might as well give it a shot'

"Why's that?"

"Emmeline Vance kissed me," Remus said muffled by his hands.

"That's great!" Lily said. She knew her friend was practically in love with Remus.

"No it really isn't," Remus said. He sat up and his face was flushed with shame.

"Do you not like her?" Lily asked. She was almost sure that Remus liked Emmeline. He had seen the way he looked at Emmeline when she wasn't looking. And she told her friend of her suspicions.

"No, the issue is that I do," Remus said, he rubbed his temples as if it would make his problems disappear.

"Then what is wrong?" Lily asked patiently. Remus looked at his friends and then back to the ground.

"I pushed her off of me after she kissed me," Remus said embarassed, "I made a complete fool of myself and now she probably hates me."

"Remus, I am sure she doesn't hate you. I don't think anyone could. And why'd you push her off if you like her," Lily questioned.

"Because if I kissed her back then I'd have to date her and she'd only get disappointed. And I'd probably be absolutely horrid and she'd run away screaming. Besides I don't date," Remus said quickly.

"Have you ever tried dating?" Lily asked. She placed her hand over Remus', in a casual platonic kind of way, but she still saw James' face flash with betrayl.

"Well no," Remus said, "but that's because secrets have no place in a relationship and I have too many."

"If you really like her then I'm sure you can trust her. And you'll have to make up with her anyway. School begins tomorrow." Lily told him.

"I don't know. I'd be rubbish at dating and I'm telling you that in the end she'll run away from me," Remus said darkly.

"I won't push you, but you're a wonderful person and she knows that. Give her a chance," Lily said. Remus nodded. "What about you Peter? Any girls catch your eye last night?"

"I kissed Joanne Brocklehurst," Peter said, "She's a fourth year Hufflepuff."

"That's brilliant Peter!" James exclaimed. He seemed so excited for his friend, Lily couldn't help but smile.

"The thing is she's under the impression my name's Pierre," Peter said blushing furiously. Lily was waiting for James to burst out laughing but he didn't.

"Oh."

"What do I do now?" Peter asked, looking to his friends for help.

"Just correct her about it," Lily answered. "And if everything turns out alright, then ask her to Hogsmeade. She'll love it I promise."

"What if she says no?"

"Then she would be missing out on a great guy," Lily said sweetly, Peter blushed again and thanked her quietly.

"Lily, you've managed to give compliments and dating advice to all my other friends, where's mine?" James teased.

"You're managing just fine on your own as far as I can tell," Lily said motioning to the door. Melissa Bones stood there with a large smile. She ran over to James and practically sat on top of him.

"Hey Melissa," Lily warmly greeted the blond girl, "Wasn't aware you stayed the night." Lily saw James wince from the corner of her eyes.

"I wasn't aware you did either," Melissa said coldly. Lily was taken aback, she was trying to make conversation.

"Sorry, have I done something?" Lily asked. She didn't like to deal with drama, but she wasn't going to let it go unnoticed. She was very tired of the insinuations between her and James.

"'Could say that," Melissa muttered angrily.

"Then I suppose I should leave you and your boyfriend alone then, what d'you say?" Lily huffed.

"That'd be just lovely," Melissa told her. Lily stood up and walked out.

"Lily, wait!" she heard James' voice call out, but she was gone.

She walked into her room and collapsed onto her bed. But it wasn't her room or her bed. It was a bed in a room in James Potter's mansion. She was a guest and she didn't belong. Thoughts racing through her head. Stupid Melissa. Stupid James. Stupid Petunia. Stupid Death Eaters. She repeated in her had like a prayer. She heard the door creak open and Lily sighed.

"James, I'm fine really," Lily said with her head buried in her blanket.

"It's Remus," he said sitting down beside her. Lily sat up to see the tall boy's kind eyes staring down on her. Remus no longer looked quite as stressed as he had before, he seemed determined to make her feel better, shoving his own feelings aside.

"Oh good. I really am not in the mood to deal with him at the moment," Lily said. Remus nodded thoughtfully, he tugged on his jumper as he sat quietly beside her.

"Why's that?" Remus asked.

"You were out there, Remus. He's insufferable and Melissa is absolutely wretched," said Lily.

"I agree," Remus said.

"I thought you like her. Weren't you tutoring her last year?"

"Yeah but around James, she's awful. I'm telling you that she'll try and be with him every moment of every day. We'll never see him." Remus chuckled quietly.

"Would that honestly be the worst thing for you all to spend some time separate? I mean eventually he'll be married off and you won't see much of him anyway." Lily said with a shrug, but in her head she was desperately trying to get the mental picture of James getting married out of her head. She hated that she hated that thought so much. What was wrong with her?

"That's not true, because James'll be married to you and you love the Marauders," Remus said smiling. "You'd never turn us away."

"That's the thing. That right there," Lily groaned. She slammed her head into the pillow again.

"What did I say?" Remus planted a caring hand on her shoulder.

"It's just that since me and James became friends, everyone has kept badgering me to go out with him. I mean it was bad enough when he was the one badgering me, but now that he's stopped everyone else picked it up for him. And somehow this is worse," Lily explained, "Everyone says that we're perfect for each other and that it's fate, but they never take into account what I want."

"What do you want?"

"I don't know, it's all very confusing," Lily groaned again.

"I see," Remus said. How did he see? Lily herself didn't even fully understand her emotions.

"Do you think I should date him too?" her voice tired.

"Even if I wasn't Prongs friend I would say the same thing: yes I do believe you and him would be good for each other. But as your friend I think you need to do whatever you think is right. And if you find that you fancy him, then go for it. If not, then no worries," Remus told her. "James'll be there for you no matter what."

"Even besides that, just the fact that everyone thinks we both fancy each other is hard enough. Part of the reason my relationship with Edgar failed was because he was under the impression that I was using him to make James jealous. Edgar even told me this morning that no one believes they could measure up to James for me."

"And it doesn't help that James has suddenly become all sweet and compassionate. Everything is muddled and I adore his parents and I see how much he cares for all of you. It's just really hard, Remus. It's too hard," Lily spewed. She sat up and Remus pulled her into a long hug.

"You're one of the strongest people I know. You're probably right up there with Sirius, don't tell him I said that. And if anyone can stay true to themselves with everything that you have going on right now, it's you," Remus said. A lone tear sprang from Lily's eye.

"Thank you," she whispered and she hugged him again, not wanting to let go. "Promise me you'll patch things up with Emmeline."

"Lily-" Remus said unconvinced.

"No listen. You said I was strong, I can't even imagine being you. And I know for a fact that Emmeline would not judge you for a second if you chose to divulge to her about who you are. She is one of the most caring people I've met. Give her a chance," Lily pleaded. Remus stiffened in her arms, quickly pulling away from her.

"How did you- Do you know?" Remus questioned, his expression flickered from vunerablility to defenciveness and Lily felt so bad for the poor boy. Remus was the sweetest and he did nothing to deserve what he was dealt.

"Yeah, I know," Lily said softly. The werewolf was ridden with anxiety; terrified that someone might uncover his secret.

"And... and you don't hate me?" Remus sputtered.

"Of course not. You're my friend," she said touching his shoulder and feeling him flinch.

"But- but I'm a monster," Remus said, looking terrified.

"A monster? No, it's once a month that your condition affects you. You have no control then, so it isn't your fault. You're still just- well just Remus Lupin." His face softened for a moment, before it got extremely defencive.

"Who told you? James?" Remus clenched his jaw, waiting anxiously. He played with his fingers, gripping them tightly.

"No, God no. I figured it out on my own. Well with the help of James' diary," Lily said with a smile. A smile flickered on his lips, but not enough to replace the fear there.

"And so you know... about them too," Remus said questionly. He looked like he was holding his breath, half-hoping that none of it was real.

"Yes, well I know what they are, but not the specifics," Lily said hoping to sound calm. She wanted to come off as trustworthy and approachable. She didn't want him feeling scared that she knows or worse yet that she is scared of him.

"And you're alright with it all?" Remus said releasing a deep breath.

"No, well I've come to terms with it all," Lily said, "but it's so illegal, I mean I get their reasoning and all. But they could get in so much trouble." Remus snorted bringing a real smile.

"Good to know you haven't changed," Remus teased.

"Hey!" Lily kidded. After a moment of laughter she asked, "What are they, like what animal?" Remus gulped, filled with unease. Obviously the whole topic wasn't an easy one and trust was a difficult thing for him to have for someone.

"Well, Padfoot's a dog. Wormtail a rat. And Prongs is a stag," Remus said, obviously unused to spilling his secrets.

"I'm an idiot."

"What?" Remus said uneasily. She could tell that he had thought she'd changed her mind about her opinion on them.

"How did I not see how the nicknames correlated. I'm stupid. I mean I understood yours, but I still can't believe I didn't see it. And the book even had notes written in the side with some animals," Lily said feeling dumb.

"You're not stupid, you figured it out didn't you?" Remus said, his voice heavy with unease. She was amazed that he was still trying to comfort her and compliment her when she had just been the source of so much anxiety and fear for him. Not that she meant to terrify him like that, of course, but she could see the way fear clenched at his heart.

"Yeah I suppose, but just so you know I'll never tell anyone. I'd never put you or the others in danger like that. I swear," Lily said. She desperately hoped that he'd see that she truly didn't think any less of him.

"Solemnly," Remus said, failing to keep a straight face. Lily was taken aback.

"What?"

"Say I solemnly swear," he said again, his smile growing. She had no idea what he was going on about.

"I solemnly swear," Lily said, not getting the joke. "I don't understand."

"It's another Marauder secret. We'll be telling you soon enough, I suppose," Remus said.

"Is it bad I found out?"

"Well nothing will happen it's just Rule 16."

"And what's that?" Lily asked.

"Guard a Marauder's secret with your life. But I techniquely didn't break it because you figured it out on you own," Remus said.

"One day soon you all have to show me your rulebook. And the other secrets," Lily said, "I've figured out the biggest one right?"

"So you want to become a Marauder?" Remus said grinning.

"If that's what it takes," Lily shrugged. She couldn't imagine herself responding the same way a year earlier.

"It's rigorous, I must warn you. Constant pranking, mischief, and mayhem at every possible moment. There's hardly a resting moment, besides detention, that is," Remus joked.

"The whole lot of you are ridiculous." Lily shook her head.

"That's what you love about us," Remus said.

"Good God," Lily said smiling too. "You know, you're pretty good at the whole cheering people up thing."

"Well we've to stick together don't we?" Remus told her.

"Yeah, the Mudblood and the Halfbreed," Lily said, her smile dipping a bit.

"Otherwise known as Red and Moony," Remus amended. Lily smile grew brighter, even though she hated the nickname Sirius had adopted her, she didn't mind so much when Remus said it like that.

"I like that one better."

"Me too."

~James~ Back to School

"Ready everyone?" James' mother asked. Sirius, Remus, Marlene, Lily, and him all nodded. Lily had been distant since yesterday morning and James didn't like it. How was it his fault that Melissa was a prick to Lily? Obviously she was jealous of Lily, but what girl in Hogwarts wasn't? He tried talking to her, and it isn't like she ignored him, it's just her responses were short and basic. It wasn't the lively Lily Evans that he was used to. In the past when she was mad at him they would get into huge blowout arguments, usually ending in hexes and jinxes. But this was different and somehow worse. It seemed that for both Lily and James, their temper was quick to ignite but just as quick to leave. So he was worried. Should he ditch Melissa? No, she was a nice girl and James didn't want to squash her hopes after leading her on. James sighed and took Floo Powder from his mother's hand.

"Diagon Alley!" James said, throwing it into the fire. James coughed and brushed the soot from his clothes. He waited for his friends and parents to come through the fireplace. James walked out of the shop and looked at the usually vibrant street looking strangely dull. A mist clouded the air and several shops were boarded up. Gone was the bustling cobblestone lined street, now it was deserted. The paint was chipped on the shop fronts and a cool breeze blew bits of trash around. It all felt wrong, the place of wonder and magic was degraded to an empty street.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said, stopping next to James. Somehow the scene became even greyer and less pleasant.

"Woah, what happened here?" Remus said, joining the two boys. James stood with his shoulders slumped, he hated seeing Diagon Alley this way. He remembered his first time getting school supplies here. He ran from shop to shop with such excitement, he couldn't wait to get there and learn magic. But now the wonder-inducing sights and smells were gone.

"Dunno," James replied flatly. But that was a lie, he knew exactly what was happening. The inevitable war had begun. James along with everyone else in the wizarding world knew that a war was bound to erupt soon enough, with Voldemort gaining traction. But James hated seeing the actual affect the war was having on the places he loved. It was crumbling and changing so much from when he saw it back in September. Marlene and Lily exited the empty shop and James heard them gasp. He turned to see Lily with a hand covering her mouth, her red hair falling out of her messy braid was probably the only bright colour left here. It stood out against the dull and mist covered surroundings.

"We should go," Euphemia Potter said as her and her husband exited the shop. "No use in staying here." The group began to walk to the Leaky Cauldron. James half-expected the pub to be abandoned like the rest of the street, given the outside, but within the shop there were people. Granted the people looked as distrurbed and saddened as James felt, but they were still there. James could've really used a drink, but it seemed inappropriate given the somber mood and the time.

"Yeah, let's go," James said slightly irritated. He watched Remus put a comforting arm around Lily who willingly melted into it. James huffed and pushed through the door to Muggle London. His friends and family followed him but James didn't wait for them. He didn't see Sirius try to catch up to him only to be stopped by Marlene who said that she got it. Marlene sped up to him and tapped his shoulder.

"What?" he growled, harsher than he intended. He had been picturing Remus and Lily getting married, and how pretty and overjoyed Lily looked. He was remembering how Lily used to fancy Remus and how maybe she never stopped fancying him.

"Sorry," he said gentler.

"S'alright, but James you've gotta get over it," Marlene said.

"You mean Lily? I did, I'm with Melissa now," James told her.

"Right, Melissa. I forgot. So you aren't mad that Remus has his arm around Lily?" Marlene asked amused, making James scowl harder.

"Nope," James lied. Yes, he thought, I am mad.

"Oh good, because they are purely platonic. He was actually the one who comforted her when you were too busy being a prat with Melissa. He convinced her to keep being your friend actually. And it really isn't helping that you're being a prat right now," Marlene said casually.

"I can't help it. Whenever I see a bloke hitting on her or dating her I just get jealous. No, it's more than jealousy. It's like a hatred, and for a few moments I lose myself. Why is it so hard to be just her friend?" James asked, running his fingers through his hair. Everything was hard when it came to Lily Evans.

"For now you'll have to deal with your relationship only being a friendship. I hope she will come around, but in the meantime, don't you think it isn't fair of you to date Melissa?" Marlene said. James hoped that if Lily's best friend thought there was hope for him and Lily, then he might have a chance.

"How is that not fair? For all I know Lily and I will only ever be friends. It's not like I just will never date anyone else. If anything I'm being fair to me and Melissa has been chasing me for years now. So I doubt she's unhappy about it," James told her harshly again.

"Whatever James. Just don't say I didn't warn you," Marlene said before leaving to join Sirius. James wondered what that meant, Marlene seemed to be hinting that his relationship would cost him in the end. But James wouldn't give Marlene the satisfaction of her being right, so James decided he'd date Melissa for awhile.

"Hurry up kids," his mother warned. She was checking her watch and sighing. They cut it close every single year, but always made it. Everyone rushed inside the train station, then to Platform 9 and 3/4. James pushed his trolley and ran through the border. He always wondered how Muggles weren't able to see them. He figured it was a strong Disillusionment Charm, but it would have to be very advanced.

"Goodbye James," Mrs. Potter said, she threw her arms around her only child. James hugged her back, holding his mother in his arms. He knew other kids might be embarrassed by their mother hugging them in public, but not James. He loved his parents so much because for awhile they were all he had. He didn't have siblings to laugh and play with, just his elderly parents. I mean when he was younger he tried to enlist the House-elves to play with him, but they didn't like it very much so James stopped. He had friends, but they were more his parent's friend's children not his.

"'Bye mum," James whispered in her ear. James released the hug and went to his dad, "See you soon." Euphemia Potter hugged Sirius and said, "You're my son too. Don't forget it."

"Thanks Mum," Sirius replied when they broke apart.

"Try to stay out of trouble. The disciplinary letters from McGonagall have stacked up," his father said with a light chuckle. James felt his spirits lift at his father's laugh. It had been awhile since his dad got over his sickness, but James always half expected his father to fall back into it.

"I can't make any promises," James joked. He stepped back and waved before returning to his friends.

"Ready?" he asked, feeling better than he had before. His friends nodded but Mrs. Potter jumped forward with open arms. Her arms enveloped Lily and she said, "You are an amazing young witch, Lily. You are welcome back anytime." Lily hugged her back as ferociously. James was ecstatic that his mother liked Lily as much as she did. They broke their hug and Lily smiled gratefully at Mrs. Potter. That was when his mum started to tear up and his dad put an arm around her. He motioned for James and his friends to go and they did. When they boarded the train, James looked out the window to see his mother running alongside the train, waving and shouting goodbyes. James' heart swelled as he waved back. When the platform was out of view he sat back down to look at his friends who gave him a weird look. He only shrugged and struck a conversation about their favourite sweets.

"You really like Bertie Botts?" Sirius said with disgust evident.

"Yeah," Peter said unsure.

"Bloody hell, Wormy. Half the flavors are bollocks!" Sirius said outraged. He turned to his new girlfriend and asked, "What d'you think Marls?"

"I'm with Peter. Besides half the fun is seeing if you'll get a good flavor or not," Marlene said defiantly.

"Merlin's beard. What about you Red?" Sirius badgered. James knew Sirius wouldn't stop until he convinced everyone that he was right and James suddenly regretted bringing up sweets in the first place.

"Er- I never cared for Bertie Botts, but I never tried much of them-" Lily said, only to be interrupted by Sirius' triumphant shouts.

"See! And it was smart of you not to try them. They are disgusting," Sirius said loudly.

"He's just mad, because once his house-elf sent him only the bad flavors for Christmas," James whispered loudly to the group.

"That only proves my point. What sane man would make a sweet with bad flavors! On purpose no less!" Sirius cried.

"Well this has been illuminating, truly, but we have a meeting to attend," Lily said standing up. Remus stood up beside her and offered her an arm, which she accepted with gratitude. James felt his heart sink even lower.

"I should probably go find Melissa. Mind if I walk with you?" James said standing up too. He watched Lily's face contorts for a moment then return to usual. Was she really that disgusted that he would walk beside them? Maybe she just wanted some alone time for snogging Remus, James thought.

"Yeah, sure mate," Remus said. He looked even worse as the full moon got even closer. James had no idea how Remus found the strength every month. He suddenly felt guilty for resenting Remus. They are just friends. Just friends. And Remus liked Emmeline anyways.

"Cool," James said opening the compartment door. "Lily, d'you know where she usually sits?"

"No," she replied slightly irritated, "I don't keep tabs on your girlfriend."

"Just asking. Figured you might since you used to date her brother," James said innocently.

"Oh, well I don't," Lily said. James walked behind them in silence. He would've completely missed Melissa altogether but she had spotted him.

"James! James, over here," Melissa shouted and James caught himself groaning.

"I'll see you guys later," James said quietly.

"Bye, Prongs," Remus said before Lily pulled him along. And James found himself pulled into a compartment filled with Hufflepuff girls. And Melissa kissed him.

"Uh... I just wanted to say hi before we got to school," James said awkwardly. He shoved his hands in his pockets, eyeing her friends who stared at him swooningly. He wasn't comfortable with the girls staring at him like that.

"Aw..." a girl said, clasping her hands together.

"So how was your holiday?" James asked stupidly, because he saw her yesterday.

"Good. Your party was probably the highlight," she responded. She was looking at him like she wanted to snog him, but he really wasn't in the mood. They spoke for a few minutes before James reached his point of boredom.

"Well I think I'm gonna head back to my compartment now, so I'll see you around," James said scratching his chin. He turned around and exiting the compartment, giving Melissa a half-hearted smile as he walked away.

He stepped back into the compartment which now had Sirius, Marlene, Mary, Peter, Emmeline, and Dorcas inside. He pushed the door open to the crowded compartment and squeezed into a seat.

"Did you find her Prongs?" Sirius asked. James nodded and ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah. It was awkward and uncomfortable," he said, "Her friends crowded us and stared. I'm not even sure I like her very much."

"Do you like her more than Patricia?" Sirius said raising his eyebrows up and down. James laughed, referencing their old friend and James' old girlfriend. She had been a mentor in mischief for the Marauders. She helped them with their pranks and she was very pretty. After she graduated she became a Curse-Breaker. How cool is that?

"Definitely like Patricia better," James said picturing her red hair.

"You don't mean Patricia Rakepick, do you?" Dorcas asked.

"Also known as James' first girlfriend," Sirius said grinning.

"No way!" Emmeline and Dorcas chorused. "But she was like four years older than us."

"She was like our mentor during the years we shared at Hogwarts, but third year I grew up. I got taller and well all that," James said.

"Oh we remember," Mary giggled.

"And we went out for a bit. Nothing serious. Just a bit of fun, I suppose," James continued.

"Wait, if you and Patricia were casual and you like her better than your current 'serious' girlfriend, then why are you still with Melissa?" Emmeline asked thoughtfully.

"Does everyone really need to ask me that, bloody hell," James said angrily. He was smiling a moment ago, but that faded once she brought up Melissa again.

"Sorry James," Emmeline muttered guiltily.

"No, I need to ask you all something," James said standing up, his back turned from the door, "Why are you so insistent that I keep pursuing Lily? I've tried that for a year and it hasn't worked out. And besides, I promised her I'd stop asking her out. We are now friends and that's all we'll ever be." He was so furious that he didn't hear the door slide open behind him, a meek Lily Evans staring at the back of his head as he told their friends that they'd only ever be friends.

"Hey Lily," Emmeline said, her voice faltering when she saw Remus. Her face twisted up and she went silent, he watched Remus gulp.

"Um, Emmeline. D'you think we could talk?" Remus said nervously.

"I really would prefer not to be alone with you Lupin," her voice was cold and hard.

"Ouch," Sirius said under his breath, earning him an elbow to the ribs from Marlene.

"If you have anything to say to me you can say it here," Emmeline said not wavering.

"Oh, alright then. I'm sorry about what happened at the party. It's just- I have never really- Well I just figured that you'd be disgusted or something, so I pulled away. I didn't want to overstep or embarrass myself," he explained nervously.

"Embarrass yourself!? I'd be disgusted!? That's very rich coming from the one who pushed me away. Did you ever think that I'd be embarrassed? Or that I'd think that you were disgusted and revolted with me?" Emmeline said her voice no longer cold, just angry. The type of anger that threatens tears, but she reigned her emotions in as she waited for his response.

"I'm sorry Emmeline. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just hard for me. I'm not really supposed to do that sort of thing," Remus said.

"You aren't allowed to kiss a girl you like? That is if you like me at all," Emmeline shouted, making Remus wince. The rest of the group watched the conversation like a Quidditch match.

"I do like you," Remus said quietly.

"Well I reckon that just fixes everything now, doesn't it?" Emmeline said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry."

"That's a weak arse apology, Lupin. If you really like me then you'd try a little harder, rather than defending your actions," Emmeline said. Remus grabbed her hands, startling her a bit.

"Look, Em. I like you. I like you a lot and I know I'm rubbish at showing it. And sometimes I'm a selfish bastard, but I want to make it up to you," Remus said, his confidence wavering, "Will you come to Hogsmeade with me?" For a painstaking few seconds, Emmeline didn't respond and it didn't appear that her response would be good.

"I'll go with you if Lily goes with James," Emmeline said smirking. James knew she liked Remus, despite what he did. So either way she wouldn't lose out. But as much as James hated everyone continually trying to push them together, he still loved Lily. He'd drop Melissa in a heartbeat for Lily, but he knew that Lily didn't feel the same. And he wasn't going to continue to fawn over her if it made her uncomfortable, so he'd have to be content with just friends. But James definitely couldn't not hear Lily's response, he still had a sliver of hope in his heart. All heads turned to face Lily, who had a struggle playing out on her face.

"I'll do it. It is not like we haven't gone together before," Lily said. Everyone smiled, breaking the tension, "What can I say, I'm a sucker for romance."

"Just not when it comes to you and I," James joked.

"Of course not. Now is this like a double date or do you guys want your alone time?" Lily asked.

"Aha! You consider it a date," James shouted celebratorily, "Lily Evans is going on a date with me!"

"Not if you keep acting like a prat," Lily scowled, but it couldn't completely hide the twitches on the corners of her lips.

"Sorry, love."

"No flirting, Potter," Lily sighed.

"What's got you so mad? James wondered.

"You and your girlfriend have been nothing but gits to me. Now I'm being goaded into spending another day in Hogsmeade with you. And you never apologised and proceeded to ignore me," Lily scowled.

"I ignored you!? You wouldn't say more than 3 words to me," James shouted. He saw Lily open her mouth and he knew he couldn't win, "Look Lily, I'm sorry. I should've made her apologise or broken up with her. I'm sorry for flirting with you also. It was just a laugh and I didn't realize you'd be so upset."

"That was rather mature of you," Lily said thoughtfully, "I'm just tired of everyone trying to push us together that's all. I just get frustrated and I didn't mean to take it out on you. Especially when you've been so kind to me. So I'm sorry too."

"That I can agree with," James said, shooting his friends a pointed look. He stuck his hand out to Lily, offering to shake hands.

"Friends?" James asked. Lily shook his hand and smiled.

"Forever," she said sweetly.

"How touching, Red," Sirius said smirking. Lily dropped his hand.

"Shove off Sirius," Lily said.

"Prongs. We need to talk about something, with just the Marauders," Remus said.

"Alright girls, leave us blokes alone now," Sirius shooed. They filed out giving the guys some confused looks. When Lily was about to exit, Remus spoke again, "Er Lily. We need you too." Now James was confused. He figured it was about a prank, but Lily would have no part of that.

"What's going on, Moony?" James asked. He wasn't sure he liked where the conversation was heading, Remus seemed nervous.

"Well over the holiday, Lily- well she came to me-" Remus said uncomfortable.

"I know," Lily interrupted, "About your secrets. Well most of them, I think."

"What d'you mean 'you know'?" Sirius growled. "Who told her? Prongs?" He raised his hands in defence.

"I didn't say a word. I'd never betray Moony," James said.

"Is that a dig at me, huh?" Sirius said darkly.

"Of course not, Padfoot. We forgave you. Moony forgave you. You're the one accusing people here," James said. He couldn't handle Sirius rehashing their fight from fourth year. He would never excuse Sirius' actions that day, but he did forgive him.

"Yeah because the girl you'd do anything for, suddenly knows about our biggest secret," Sirius shouted, "And I'm sorry but it's hard to forget the only people who you've ever considered family, abandoning you."

"Don't try and make us feel guilty. You were in the wrong two years ago and you're still in the wrong today. But we forgave you and we are your family. Rule 5 remember," Remus told him in a threatening tone.

"I know," Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, picking up James' nervous trait, "And I'll never stop being sorry about it. I just don't want the secret to be in danger again."

"None of us do and it appears only Lily and Remus know what's going on, so let's let them tell us," James said motioning for Lily to speak.

"I've known about the lycanthropy for awhile. Sev- I mean Snape always had a theory about it. Of course I never believed it. No offence, but I never thought Dumbledore would do that. And then last year after I read your diary I went to the library, trying to put it together. And I told you I would. And Madam Pince made a comment on how 5th years don't study werewolves, and it all came together. I mean, you all call him Moony for God's sake. And before I figured that out I went to Snape about the potion recipes I saw. I didn't recognise them, but I figured that he would and he did. I didn't know about what form you took, but I should've connected it with your nicknames. This all happened at the end of last year. And then yesterday I comforted Remus about Emmeline and I mentioned how she wouldn't judge him about it," Lily explained. Lily looked at the boys, as if she was ready for them all to start fighting again. It seemed like that was all everyone was doing today.

"Plenty of people would judge him about it," James said calmly.

"But not the people who know him. Lycanthropy is just a condition, and he only changes once a month. It doesn't seem fair that he should be discriminated over one day a month," Lily said. He adored how she was sticking up for Remus. He could feel himself falling deeper and deeper for her.

"It isn't fair and some people's parents would have an absolute fit if they found out. So ever since we found out, we've done the best we could to keep it a secret," James told her.

"And I solemnly swear that I won't tell a soul," Lily said, smiling hopefully. James' jaw dropped. How did she know?

"You figured that out too!?" Peter exclaimed. He had been especially quiet this train ride. James figured that all the girls here made him a bit nervous.

"Well, no. I'm afraid I'm not sure what it's about, but Remus had brought it up and it made him smile. So I figured that you lot could use a smile," Lily said grinning at their shocked faces.

"I didn't say a word about the map, but I figured we ought to tell her everything now. She's basically a Marauder herself," Remus said shrugging. James watched Lily smile. He could tell that she loved to be included, even in a group that revolves around a lot of illegal things.

"I don't see why not?" James said, Lily's smile grew even further.

"I think she should too," Peter piped up, trying to please James. James turned to Sirius who was quiet.

"What do you say, Sirius?" James said grinning.

"Fine," Sirius said grudgingly, "but she will be an honourary Marauder only."

"What's the difference?"

"You don't become an Animagi or get your nickname added to the map," Sirius insisted.

"I have a nickname?" Lily said, raising her eyebrows.

"Every Marauder needs one. It's Rule 19," James said.

"Should I be scared?" Lily teased.

"It'll be good, Red," Sirius said.

"It better be better than Red," Lily retorted.

"Least it'll be better than Wormtail. Anything's better than Wormtail," Peter said dryly. Everyone laughed.

"The whole school didn't know what to think when you lot came back with these crazy nicknames at the start of 5th year. I thought they were pretty odd myself," Lily informed them.

"Hate to say it, but you are officially part of 'this lot' now. So be prepared for some illicit activities and miscellaneous secrets," Remus said grinning. He no longer looked nervous, now that everyone was cool with Lily knowing their secret. James figured that it was Remus' secret to tell anyway, so as long as he was cool with it it was fine.

"What have I got myself into," Lily joked, "But in all seriousness, when do I learn these supposed secrets?"

"All in due time. Now we should go get our robes on. We're almost at school," Remus said looking out the window. James looked out the window himself and it looked like it had the entire trip. He couldn't tell how Remus could tell the difference, but he trusted him nonetheless.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Trust Your Friends, Not Rumors

"The house elves outdid themselves this year," Sirius said loudly. The group of friends were walking back to the Common Room after the Welcome Back Feast.

"No Padfoot. You outdid yourself. Honestly you've eaten an unhealthy amount of Treacle Tarts," James scolded.

"They are divine," Sirius said dreamily. He threw his arm around Marlene and kissed her cheek with a loud smack.

"Gross," Peter said scrunching his nose. Lily looked over her shoulder to see Emmeline and Remus falling behind a bit. Remus reaching for her hand and Emmeline blushing and smiling too. Lily smiled to herself, watching all her friends falling in love around her. Marlene had Sirius, Remus had Emmeline, Mary had Reginold Cattermole (a Hufflepuff in their year), and even Peter had Joanne Brocklehurst. Everyone had someone, even James had Melissa, even if he really didn't like her that much he still had someone. And Lily knew she should feel left out, but she was perfectly content. She had all her friends. Lily was lost in her happy thoughts when a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Lily," the voice said. She gulped and turned around. She already knew who it was and she couldn't believe he was trying to strike a conversation here around James and Sirius of all people.

"Snape," Lily said trying to make her voice sound unforgiving, which was not difficult for her. She was still upset with him and she did not fancy seeing him.

"Snivellus. I'd recommend that you leave now, before things get out of hand," Sirius said pulling his wand out.

"I just want to talk," Severus pleaded to Lily, ignoring Sirius' words. He seemed desperate and scared, very unlike the boy she knew. Severus always kept his emotions under lock and key, except for his anger. This was concerning and it scared Lily.

"You lost the right to do that when you called her that awful word," James said, raising his wand higher.

"James stand down," Lily asked. She wasn't sure what was going on with Snape, but she didn't want them to get into another fight. She didn't need them to play the hero for her.

"You're seriously giving this tosser the time of day?" James said outraged. Sirius and Marlene already had their wands out, ready to fight beside James. Remus had his hand on his wand, only defensively.

"Just give us a moment," Lily begged. James looked like he'd never leave that spot, the determination and distrust was plenty evidence. But Remus came over and pulled him away.

"I'm not happy about it either, but Lily can make her own decisions," Remus told James and Sirius. James nodded and entered the Common Room hastily, as if that would help him make sure she was alright. Once everyone left, Lily turned to her old friend and said, "I'm not happy with you. But what's going on?"

"I'm sorry," he said, just like he had months ago.

"I'm not going to accept your apology any more than I did last time. But I'm out here because you look frightened out of your mind and I'd like to know why," Lily said fiercely.

"It's- it's the Dark Lord. He's becoming restless. He's attacking more and more Mud- Muggles and Muggleborns," Snape began.

"Tell me it's not true," Lily gasped, "You aren't a- You called him the Dark Lord!" Thoughts crashed in her head. He couldn't be a Death Eater, could he? Her best friend Severus from Spinner's End couldn't, but the new Snape. The brooding Snape who makes Dark Spells and calls her Mudblood, possibly. She didn't want to believe it.

"No. I'm not a Death Eater, but I can protect you. The Dark Lord he- he knows about you. He knows you're talented and would look past your blood status if you pledge your allegiance to him. You'd be safe Lily," Snape said, reaching for her hand. She quickly pulled away.

"It's as if you don't know me at all. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure if I know you anymore either. I would never and will never join a man as evil and discriminatory as him. And that you'd think I'd go against people of my blood status to save myself disgusts me. Sev, YOU disgust me," Lily shouted, her voice echoing in the empty halls.

"I love you, Lily. I'd do anything to save you," Snape begged. She loved him too, deep down she knew it.

"Well that's the thing, isn't it. I don't need your help. I don't want your love. I'd rather die fighting than live as a sorry excuse of a human being," Lily said. She was disgusted and horrified at what Snape had become. He had stooped so low.

"You love Potter, don't you? That's why you are saying these things. You used to tell me that you despised him, Lily. What happened?" Snape said quietly.

"A lot, Snape. James used to be a bully, and I'd be the first to remind him. But he changed, he matured and he grew up. He has been there for me and he is fighting for the right side. He cares about everyone, but doesn't care about blood status. He'd never betray his friends, or delve in the Dark Arts. He loves his family and friends. He's brave and funny and strong and intelligent. And most importantly, he's a damn good person. And that's more than you could say for yourself. You're a coward who hides behind his friends," Lily said viciously. She wasn't going to stand for Snape to call James Potter a bad person. At the word coward, Snape looked taken aback. Her bright green eyes glowered at him.

"You don't understand, Lily! Potter and his mates are sheltered prats. They don't know the first thing about the real world!" Snape said passionately. And before Lily knew what was happening, she felt her fist aiming at his face and heard a loud CRACK. Snape was backing up, trying to catch the blood dripping fast from his nose. He swore in pain and looked at Lily like she was a stranger.

"I won't stand for it, Snape. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are anything but sheltered. They've been through so damn much and are still stronger than you. So don't say another word about them or a broken nose will be the least of your worries," Lily said scowling. She had never felt so angry in her life, her fist was throbbing a bit, and she felt like crying.

"I'll leave you alone. I guess we really are destined for separate paths," Snape said wistfully, "I'll love you always, Lily. And I'm forever sorry," He ignored the blood spilling from his nose. And Lily felt guilty but she knew she was in the right. Snape turned and walked away and Lily slumped against the wall. She felt the tears come and then the portrait swung open. It was James.

"It's ok, Lils," James reassured, sitting next to her. Lily rested her head on his shoulder.

"Who's blood is that? Did he fight you?" James asked worried, he held her tighter. Lily shook her head no.

"I punched him," she said after a while. James made a sound of amazement.

"Did you forget you were a witch?" James said smiling. He knew just what to say to make her feel a bit better. She even smiled back at him.

"I was just so mad, I couldn't think," Lily said. James waited, as to let her continue if she wished, "He wanted me to join the Death Eaters because You-Know-Who would be willing to overlook my blood status, because I'm a good witch. I told him that You-Know-Who and him both disgusted me. Then he started saying how I should hate you."

"What'd you say?" James said, brushing her tears away.

"I told him that you were a good person and that you had changed from when we were younger. Then I told him that he was a coward. And he said that you, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all sheltered prats. That's when I punched him. I didn't even know I was doing it, I was furious. The four of you have been through so much and for Snape to say that, well it got to me," Lily sniffled.

"I've never been so proud in my life," James said grinning. Then he looked serious, "But I have to admit, I am rather sheltered. I'm pureblood and my parents are rich and spoil me. All of you have problems that I can't even dream of dealing with."

"You don't give yourself enough credit, James. You are here, admitting that you have it easy, but you are doing everything you can to help your friends. You carry their burdens and try to fix their problems. So sure you might not face the same issues as Sirius, Remus, or Peter but you do everything you can to make their lives easier. I mean you became an Animagus for crying out loud. And your family practically adopted Sirius. So don't think less of yourself."

"You forgot yourself. You have to face discrimination from purists. I can't imagine facing them. And your sister and you don't have the best relationship either. And you have an evil ex-best friend on top of it all. You are so damn strong Lily Evans," James said touching her cheek.

"You're sweet," she said smiling. Then she saw a bit of mischief and nervousness on his face. The look that said 'I have an idea'. He jumped onto his feet and offered her his hand.

"I need to show you something," James said. She took his hand, unsure what was going on.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked as he pulled her through the portrait.

"Boy's dormitory," he responded. Uh oh, Lily thought. She didn't want him to get any ideas. Sure, she thinks he's handsome and a great person, but that doesn't mean she likes him. Right?

"What are we doing there?" she questioned. She knew that if worst came to worst she had her wand and could hex him. But the thing isn't she trusted that he wouldn't do anything she was uncomfortable with, but that she wasn't sure she'd want to stop him. So she let herself get pulled up the stairs, ignoring looks from wide-eyed third years. James swung the door open to see his three dormmates all inside, slightly shocked to see Lily.

"What's goin' on?" Peter asked as James rummaged through his trunk.

Lily shrugged and said, "I'm in the dark on this one."

"Here," James said, tossing miscellaneous objects on his bed. There was a mirror, a piece of parchment, and a cloak.

"What is it?" Lily said looking around. "Well that's the mirror you used in the Dungeons and in Diagon Alley. You had that parchment in the Dungeons too."

"Well as I'm sure you figured out, this mirror is used to call it's pair. Sirius has the other and they are connected, so we call each other like a muggle tellypone. All we have to do is say each other's name," James explained and Sirius pulled out his mirror.

"It's telephone, and that's wicked. Where did you get them?" Lily asked as she picked up the mirror.

"My parents gave them to me for my 13th birthday. We mainly use them to talk when we are in separate detentions, but they've helped us out of some tight situations.

"Will it work if someone else is using them or is it only connected to your names. Like if I'm holding Sirius' would you have to say Sirius' name or mine?" Lily asked.

"I think it would work with your name," James said shrugging. Then he picked up the parchment, "And this... this is another closely guarded secret. This is the Marauder's Map." James unfolded the seemingly blank piece of parchment and said 9 words.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Lily watched, she wasn't sure if it was a joke or something. But then thin ink lines began to spread from the point that his wand had touched. They crisscrossed and touched every corner or the page. Then in large and curly green ink it read: Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present THE MARAUDER'S MAP.

Lily looked at the map, it showed every detail of the Hogwarts, inside and out. The truly amazing part was the tiny ink dots attached to each name, written in tiny handwriting that matched Remus'. It showed where every single person was. It even showed Filch's cat roaming the 3rd floor corridor. Lily's eyes scanned the page. And there was Marlene and Mary in the Common Room. And then she saw herself, surrounded by the 4 boys. She took a few steps to the right while she looked at the map and her dot moved with her. She stood there shocked and kept her eyes glued to the parchment. She saw Adrian Woodluck's labelled dot was almost directly on top of Lucinda Talkalot, the pair of them were in a broom closet on the 5th floor and it was information that she could've lived without knowing.

"This is incredible," Lily exclaimed. "How did you do this?"

"Well it all started back in first year. You see, Wormtail here, he could never remember where anything was in the castle. And then we kept finding all these secret passages. They mostly lead to Hogsmeade. This one is behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy, we found it our first year. Then this one is behind the mirror on the fourth floor, it's very roomy. Then to get to the Shrieking Shack, you take this tunnel here. And if you say 'Dissendium' at the one-eyed-witch statue it leads into the cellar of Honey Dukes. And there's a few others as well. All of them were quite useful, especially when Sirius' parents refused to sign his permission slip to Hogsmeade in 3rd year. And we figured it would be useful to know where Filch and other authority figures were so we could escape them easier," James said with a casual elegance, as if this incredible piece of magic wasn't a big deal.

"How does it track everyone?" Lily said, then she remembered something. A charm that could be fatal if done incorrectly, "Wait, no way. Please tell me it isn't the Homunculus Charm! Damn you! That's incredibly dangerous if you get it wrong! You all could've died!"

"Calm down, Red. We almost die quite often, you'll get used to it," Sirius said lounging on his bed.

"I can't believe you guys did all of this. I mean I knew you guys snuck out on occasion and did quite a few pranks, but the level of illicit spells is insane. It's insane yet incredible," Lily said overwhelmed. "So it can only be opened if you say 'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good?"

"Yup," James said smiling at her.

"That's quite cheesy I hope you know," she teased. "So this is how you found me that day in the dungeons."

"Yeah it's Rule 1. And also today, that's how I knew Snape was gone," James admitted.

"So you were spying on me?" Lily raised an eyebrow as she said it.

"Technically not, I mean I couldn't listen or see you. Just where you were," James defended.

"So stalking, yeah?" Lily amended.

"Well when you put it like that..." Sirius said.

"I'm only kidding, but this is so cool. So this shows every single room in the castle?" Lily asked. James sighed and looked poutily to his friends.

"No. It shows every room and secret passage that we know of, except one room just seems unplottable. Ever heard of the Come and Go room?" Remus asked. He seemed frustrated that it couldn't be plotted. Lily shook her head.

"Well the house-elves told us about it once. We needed a place to hide after a full moon. Mrs. Norris caught us coming back in and Filch would've found us with the house-elves sooner or later. And we were trying to make it back to the Common Room, but Prongs' leg got broken during the night and we were moving slowly. So the room presented itself to us in a time of need. Inside was everything that we could've needed. It had medical supplies to clean up our wounds and it had beds for the night," Remus told her, "This all happened back when we were designing the Map and the next day we tried plotting it, but no matter how many times we tried, it always disappeared. We tried all different types of inks and quills with an assortment of charms, but it wouldn't work. It was quite frustrating and it isn't that we claim to know every secret of Hogwarts, but I think we are pretty close."

"Yeah, like did you know that the sink in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom drains into the lake. You sort of just jump right into it and suddenly you're swimming. We couldn't plot that either since it's in the pipes, but it's a useful backup plan," Sirius told her.

"Also there's a bunch'a shortcuts in the castle. Behind that wizard statue on the first floor is a passage that leads to the third floor and it's covered by wood panelling," Peter said. "Got me outta some trouble a few times."

"Jesus," Lily said, "And I thought I knew the castle pretty well." She said in a shocked laugh.

"Easy to find things when you're looking for them," James said shrugging.

"Woah, it even tracks Peeves!" Lily said excitedly, "I had no idea the charm extended to Poltergeists and animals. It said nothing about that in the books I read."

"We didn't know either, but it's useful I suppose," Remus told her.

"I can't believe you did this. I feel like I'm dreaming," Lily said. These boys were so incredibly genius. How they had time to do all of this and still excel in their classes was beyond her.

"If I knew you'd like it so much, then I would have shown it to you ages ago," James joked.

"Can I see you all?" Lily asked.

"Love, I'm afraid you already can," Sirius said teasingly.

"I mean in your Animagus forms, you prat," Lily said with a laugh. Sirius grinned at her, brushing his dark hair from his face, before suddenly shrinking. Fur sprouting from his skin and becoming more and more dog-like. He had long shaggy black hair and the very same grey eyes. Although they looked less calculating as a dog. Sirius trotted over to where Lily stood, slightly shocked, and she reached down and started petting him. She pet his silky black hair, running her fingers across his back. Hesitating only when she came across a patch of furless skin. She frowned, looking at the white line streaking across his back. Now that she looked closer she saw similar scars crisscrossing throughout his fur.

"Is this-?" Lily asked, not able to fully articulate. Her eyes unintentionally found Remus', who looked away ashamed. Sirius transformed back to his human form.

"Yeah," James answered, "We've all got scars, but they don't hurt us too bad in Animagus form. We've all got a higher tolerance for pain as animals." Lily cursed herself for making Remus feel ashamed.

"Alright, what about you and Peter then?" Lily asked, desperate to change the topic.

"Mine's kinda unimpressive if you's comparin' it to them," Peter told her with a shrug. Lily opened her mouth to reassure him, but his had already shrunk into his rat form. The rat seemed frightened and skirmished at being in the presence of such tall beings. It crawled onto one of the beds by digging it's nails into the quilt. Lily smiled at Peter and held her arm out for him to climb onto. And he crawled into the palm of her hand.

"Careful, Red, beasty creatures like him probably have rabies," Sirius taunted. Peter quickly jumped out of Lily's hand, before returning to human form. He took a swig from a flask on his bed. Lily frowned at Sirius.

"I liked you better as a dog," Lily said. Sirius looked at her with a grin, before turning to Peter.

"What's that on your lip, Pete? Are you foaming at the mouth?" Sirius asked. Peter wiped his mouth.

"Go take the mickey out on someone else. It's from my Butterbeer," Peter said raising his flask.

"Hey it's a sound worry. Who knows if Animagi can carry over diseases," Sirius said, with a not so subtle glance at Peter. Lily knew what he was trying to do. And she was about to tell him to leave Peter alone, but Peter handled it himself.

"Well then shouldn't you go on and get checked for fleas," Peter quipped, "We didn't wanna have'ta tell you Padfoot, but you've been itchin' yourself kinda a lot ev'ry Full Moon for quite some time now." Sirius opened his mouth in outrage as everyone started laughing.

"I do not!" Sirius said loudly. "I take pride in my hygiene and hair, unlike you, you ugly rat." Lily realized then and there that they were joking with each other. If it was any other group of people, then someone would've ran away crying.

"Peter, I think you're a very pretty rat," Lily said, fluttering her lashes at him.

"Not prettier than me as a stag!" James said abruptly. Lily laughed.

"Well let's see it then. So far I've seen a very pretty rat and a flea-ridden dog-"

"I do not have fleas!" Sirius shouted.

"Only joking, Sirius. You're a very cute doggo," Lily reassured.

"That's right," he said with a smirk. James was frowning at them.

"You have my full attention, James," Lily said. And James transformed. Becoming a large buck with beautiful antlers that resembled ivory and a muscular body covered in short light brown hairs, except where scars crisscrossed his body. He was a majestic creature sitting in the middle of a Hogwarts dormitory. Sirius as a dog and Peter as a rat didn't seem so incredibly out-of-place like James did. And the stag took up a good part of the room, giving him no room to move without breaking multiple objects. So then he transformed back into James. Lily stared at him blankly for a second as he adjusted his glasses and was back to normal.

"You're a beauty James. A true sight for sore eyes," Lily said, trying to sound teasing. But James blushed and she hoped he didn't take it the wrong way or the right way. She wasn't sure what she meant. So she laughed nervously and avoided his eyes.

"Are there any other secrets I should know?" Lily asked hopeful. She couldn't believe the sorts of magic they possessed. James motioned to the cloak on his bed, it shimmered in a translucent type of way.

"Put it on, go ahead," Sirius ushered. Lily picked up the cloak and threw it over herself. It had a musty old smell and she was promptly disappointed. It wasn't particularly exceptional as far as she could tell. The boys realized this and smirked at her, waiting for her to get it. Lily looked down confused, but her body wasn't there. Well she was there, she just couldn't see herself.

"An invisibility cloak?" she said in amazement. She knew that plenty of people made knock-offs with bad disillusionment charms, but this one had no flaws. It kept her completely invisible.

"Yeah, it's a family heirloom," James told her, "Passed from father to son." Lily spun around in amazement, watching her invisible self.

"Does the Map pick up on an invisible person?" Lily asked.

"It does actually. We wanted to be able to see everyone. But we had to make some accommodations to that. It will pick up on Animagi in their animal form, but only if the user knows that the person is an Animagi. We wanted our secret to be safe in that regard, in case anyone found the Map before it was closed," James said.

"How do you close it?"

"Mischief managed," James said placing his wand gently onto the map. Lily watched as the thin ink lines faded, leaving the map as inconspicuous as before. She thought that the closing words were cheesy too, but she didn't mention it.

"This is all so incredible," Lily said, unable to contain her excitement. She sat on one of the boys beds and laid back. "I'm not saying it was alright, but I understand a bit more why you all were so snooty when you were younger. Not you Remus, of course. Or Peter for that matter."

"Oi, I feel personally attacked. What about you Prongs?" Sirius exclaimed pretending to be offended.

"Yeah me too!" James said playing along.

"It was a compliment!" Lily said.

"Really? Would you mind saying it a bit nicer?" Sirius asked batting his eyelashes. Lily laughed.

"James, Sirius. You are less arrogant than you used to be," Lily said her voice dripping with false sincerity, "Better?" James punched her shoulder lightly.

"Say it like you mean it," James insisted.

"You all are geniuses," Lily said truthfully. "and I admire the impressive magic you've accomplished, despite the illegality of it all."

"Better," James said, tackling Lily onto the bed. Lily yelled playfully and tried to get away.

"Don't make me hex you, James," Lily said threateningly.

"I suppose a genius like myself could take you," James teased.

"I shouldn't have said anything at all," Lily moaned. She reached for her wand, that was pressed between her and the bed. She decided to use a tickling spell on James, so he could get a taste of his own medicine. She nonverbally cast the spell and James jumped off of her, wheezing from laughing. Lily released the jinx and smirked at James who was lying on the floor.

"Feisty, aren't you? Like a tiger," Sirius said appreciatively.

"A tiger, Padfoot?" Remus said chuckling.

"Yeah, that striped cat thing we learnt about in Muggle Studies," Sirius said.

"I didn't know you took Muggle Studies," Lily said. She didn't think Sirius would be one to do that. He didn't seem like the type.

"Oh, well I only did it because it'd piss off my family. I think I'm the first Black to ever take Muggle Studies," he joked, but Lily could hear the pain beneath it. Her heart panged when she heard it, she knew how he felt. Maybe not to the same extent, but she empathized.

"I didn't know you paid attention in Muggle Studies," Remus jibed.

"I happen to have 7 O.W.L.s last year, so watch your mouth," Sirius said back.

"I got 7 too!" Remus exclaimed.

"Yeah, well I took harder classes than you," Sirius bickered.

"They seem to have forgotten that I got 9 O.W.L.s. But I'll just let them fight it out," James whispered to Lily. Lily had got 9 O.W.L.s as well. She was quite proud when she got the owl with her results.

"-never studied a day in your life," Remus said.

"Oi, calm down. How did this even start?" James said, breaking their argument up.

"Oh I thought of a brilliant nickname for Red," Sirius said smugly.

"No, I said that you never pay attention in Muggle Studies," Remus corrected.

"Yeah, but while you were insulting my brilliance, I was forming a genius nickname. Because naturally all the greatest thinkers can multi-task."

"What is it?" James queried.

"Tigerlily," Sirius grinned. Lily didn't actually mind it. She figured it could be a lot worse coming from the Marauders. I mean the only dog related nickname they could fathom was Padfoot, really? "We also learnt about some muggle flowers back in third year and that one was all red, like your hair!"

"What d'you think?" James asked.

"Fine with me," Lily said with a shrug. Then Marlene burst through the doors.

"James, Melissa is outside the Common Room and she's furious," Marlene said looking concerned, as if Melissa was extremely dangerous.

"Bloody hell," James said, "Is she really mad?" Lily knew that James could already tell the answer. The look on Marlene's face was rather explanatory.

"I'd say either transfer to Durmstrang or be ready to get into a row," Marlene advised.

"What did I do?" James asked.

"Well some fourth year told Amelia, that's Melissa's sister, that you were comforting a crying Lily and took her up to your dorm by the hand. And Amelia must've told Melissa. I always liked Amelia, she's a brilliant witch," Marlene explained. Lily and James both winced, it sounded bad and it was true. And Lily felt bad for causing James' girlfriend to get so upset.

"Maybe it's for the best, I don't really fancy Melissa that much anyway," James said. He looked sheepishly at Lily and Lily blushed. She didn't know where she and James stood. Her stomach flipped at the uncertainties.

"Well I wouldn't go into it like that. If she breaks up with you then you're fine, but if she doesn't then today isn't the best time to break up with her," Remus said thoughtfully.

"Yeah I guess," James sighed, "I should go." He walked out the door and looked back into the room as if he wished he could stay there instead. Then he disappeared down the stairs and was gone. Lily said goodbye to the Marauders and her and Marlene walked towards their room.

"So if you weren't snogging James, then what were you doing?" Marlene asked, stopping in the hallway.

"Not much," Lily lied. She hated doing it, but like James said it was Remus' secret to tell.

"Does 'not much' have anything to do with what they needed to talk in private with you about on the train," Marlene pressed. Marlene and her never kept secrets and she knew that Marlene needed something to be satisfied.

"Well they wanted to give me an official Marauder's nickname now that I was well- their friend," Lily said. She didn't want Marlene to be upset with her or betray the Marauders.

"So..."

"So what?" Lily said confused.

"What's your new friendship nickname?" Marlene asked, Lily thought she heard some bitterness.

"Tigerlily. Sirius thought he was brilliant coming up with it. Apparently they learnt about flowers in Muggle Studies," Lily said in a light-hearted tone.

"Sirius gave you a nickname?" Marlene asked. And this time Lily definitely heard the bitterness and hurt.

"Well it was more a collective effort, I suppose," Lily explained. She was trying to do damage control.

"Okay," Marlene said, her voice hollow.

"What's wrong Marls?" Lily asked.

"I don't know. I mean, Sirius and I are wonderful together. But neither of us are actually relationship material. Y'know what I mean?" Marlene explained. Lily shook her head in confusion. "Well Sirius, he has always been a snog only type relationship, never anything more. And I have basically been the same, except I'd keep the guy around for a while longer. But once Sirius and I started snogging it was different, we stayed together for months. Not exclusively nor defined, but we always came back to one another. Until we broke up, but even then we got back together eventually. But now we've been 'dating' for a few days and nothing has changed. Our relationship was always casual at most and the only difference is that now he'll hold my hand in public."

"And do you want more from him?" Lily said still confused.

"I'm not sure. I don't need like a public declaration of love. I just want him to put in more effort now that we are dating," Marlene said shakily, "And it's the first day back and he isn't spending it with me. He spent it with his friends, which I understood, but then they are including you in their little group."

"And you feel left out," Lily finished, "Not because he isn't spending every minute with you, but because they are taking me in when you are the one dating Sirius." Marlene nodded.

"Am I a horrible person?" Marlene asked touching Lily's arm.

"Of course not Marls. You are my best friend and I'd never stand for a horrible best friend. You're great and I understand. But don't worry, it's only the first day back and they just wanted to give me a nickname. That's all," Lily comforted her, "Now go hang out with your boyfriend." Marlene smiled, washing away the sadness.

"Come with me. Let's see how James is doing," Marlene said.

"No, I think I'm going to settle in. I haven't been to the room yet," Lily told her. She didn't want to intrude on her friend and she had a lot to think about concerning her new Maraudership.

"Alright Lils, I'll see you later," Marlene waved before turning around. Lily smiled and waved before entering the dorm. Only Emmeline and Dorcas were inside. Lily figured Mary was off with Reginold Cattermole. They were very cute together and absolutely perfect. Both were quiet and caring and loving. And it made her heart swell to see the two of them so happy and in love together.

"Hey," Lily said as she entered.

"Hey Lily," Emmeline said, "Have you seen Remus?" Lily was expecting the question and didn't want to go through the same situation as she did with Marlene.

"Yeah, he's with the guys in their room," Lily said sitting down on her bed.

"Ok. What did you all talk about during the train ride? Did he mention me?" Emmeline interrogated.

"Oh... er no. We didn't mention dating or anything like that. But I'm pretty tired, I think I'm going to get to bed. First day of classes tomorrow after all," Lily said cutting the conversation short, with a fake cheeriness. The two girls said goodnight and Lily closed her bed curtains. But Lily was in no state of mind to fall asleep. She wanted to think about how incredible the Marauder's Map is and how rare the cloak is, but the thing at the front of her brain was if James and Melissa broke up or not. Lily didn't know why her brain was obsessing, and it really wasn't all that important. Hypothetical scenarios of Melissa and James falling in love ran through her brain. What if they didn't break up? What if they eventually get married and have kids? Lily saw them kissing in front of an altar. What if James didn't love Lily anymore? Did she fancy him after all? And images of James' lips were present as she fell asleep.

When she woke, a note was placed on her pillow beside her head. Her heart leapt, her first thought was that it was from James. It wasn't and she hated that she was so disappointed. She unfolded the note and it read:

Miss Lily Evans,

Please join me in my office this Friday at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I ask you not to share this note with anyone else and to come to the meeting alone.

-Professor A.P.B. Dumbledore

P.S. I enjoy Ice Lollies

~James~ Conquests and Quidditch

James walked down the dimly lit corridors. It would've been a good time for him to clear his head and think, that is if it weren't for the hand in his. James looked over at Melissa to remind himself that she was still here. She was staring at him, with puppy eyes. He looked away and sighed. He wishes that Melissa had broken up with him a few weeks ago when they had that big row, but she insisted on working it out.

The conversation went like this:

"Hey Melissa, how-" James said, but his calm words were cut off by screams.

"Don't act nice, James! What's going on with you and Lily!?" Melissa shrieked. James winced and tried not to flinch.

"Look Mel, I'm not sure what you've heard, but me and Lily are only friends," James informed her.

"Do you always comfort your crying friends then bring them up to your room by the HAND!?" Melissa shouted, her face so red. James wasn't sure why holding someone's hand was such a big issue, but Melissa didn't seem very rational.

"Lily is one of my close friends and she was just being harassed by Snivellus. So I figured she could use a laugh so the Marauders and I cheered her up for a bit. I promise that nothing happened," James insisted. He didn't know why he was trying to defend himself, if he wanted her to break up with him. He just couldn't let anyone get away with calling him unfaithful. He waited for her to rehash it and scream some more, but she didn't.

"Do you love me, James?" Melissa asked.

"What?"

"Do you love me. Simple yes or no," Melissa repeated. James felt his stomach churn. He didn't want to lie to her, he was horrible at lying, but telling the truth would upset her.

"Er, no I don't, but we've only been dating for a few days," James said quickly.

"Do you love her?" Melissa asked referring to Lily. James knew he had to lie. He couldn't tell the truth, he just couldn't.

"Lily and I are just friends," he insisted, not wanting to say the words outright.

"That isn't what I asked."

"Well I'm in a relationship with you, aren't I? If you'd like to change that then go ahead and continue interrogating me," James said getting mad.

"I didn't mean to- I just-" Melissa muttered.

"Well I'm going inside. I'll see you tomorrow," James said briskly before turning around.

"Do I get a kiss?" she asked sweetly. James faced her and just felt sick to his stomach. Not that there was anything wrong with Melissa, just that he couldn't stand that she wasn't Lily.

"Alright," James said awkwardly, before pecking her lightly. "'night."

"Goodnight James," Melissa said cheerily.

James was brought back to reality as Melissa tried to escort him into a secluded corridor to snog.

"Oi," James said in surprise, "Stop that, will you." James spotted Lily coming towards them. She was walking beside a male figure, he couldn't tell who. But the bloke was making her giggle. The past few weeks they had got along fine, but whatever romantic moments they had shared were now nonexistent. It was like she was distancing herself from him, not as a friend, but as whatever they were. He knew that the both of them had almost kissed at the party and they had held hands on many occasions. They shared secrets and adventures and it made James happy. But now that James and Melissa had been dating for almost a month, him and Lily were plainly platonic. Not that he could blame her, or maybe he was just imagining that they were sharing romantic moments anyway. He hated that Melissa and him were still together. And Lily was super nice to Melissa too, always inviting her to be included and asking him how things were with Melissa. Not only was she nice to Melissa, she was extremely nice to the Marauders. A few days after they got back from holiday, it had been the full moon. And the entire day Lily was nervously glancing at Remus' empty seat. She walked with them to the castle gates and begged them to be safe. She waited up all night in the hospital until they returned. And when they got there she hugged everyone for the longest time, it was sweet seeing her concern and love. She waited with Remus until he was well again, refusing to gasp when she saw all of their scars. It was the first time she called them by their nicknames and James knew. He knew she was everything.

"Is that Lily?" Melissa said, peering around the corner. Lily and the boy went into an unused classroom. Alone. James gulped and hurried out of the hallway, heading back to the Common Room. "Who's she off with? Never thought I'd see her as a Prefect sneaking around with a bloke after curfew."

"James! Where are you going?" Melissa called out behind him. She ran up to meet him. "What the hell?"

"Sorry, I've just remembered that I... um I promised that I'd tutor Wormtail tonight. I have to go, I'm sorry," James said, kissing her cheek and running in the opposite direction. He barged into the Common Room and bounded up the stairs. Only Remus was inside, but James didn't stop to chat with him. He grabbed the map and searched for Lily's dot. Aha! She was with Benjy Fenwick in an empty classroom. And James had a feeling what they were doing and he didn't like it. He ran a hand through his hair and flopped back onto his bed.

"Alright Prongs?" Remus asked.

"Lily's with Fenwick in an unused Charms classroom," James told him.

"Oh," Remus didn't seem to know what to say.

"Well how are things with you and Emmeline?" James asked trying to distract himself.

"We get along well enough. I mean I really like her and all, I just don't know how the relationship would fare with me disappearing once a month," Remus confessed. "And it isn't like I haven't snogged a girl before, I just haven't ever had a real relationship. Which is what I want with Emmeline."

"I think that you can't really worry about how it'll affect you, because if the relationship isn't strong enough then it isn't meant to be. Besides, you don't want to get emotionally invested in someone who doesn't trust you or accept your condition," James told him. "But don't worry. I'm sure there's a lovely gal out there for you."

"I suppose," Remus said, "But you already have your soul mate in your sights, so you don't have to worry."

"D'you mean Lily?" James asked. He loved Lily with all his heart, but if she didn't love him back then they couldn't be soul mates. Relationships were a two-sided thing and it didn't seem as if Lily's stance on their relationship would change.

"Of course, who else?" Remus smiled.

"Well if you can't tell, both of us are apparently with other people," James pointed out. But he hated that he reminded himself that Lily was frolicking with Benjy Fenwick.

"C'mon Prongs. The two of you are perfect for each other," Remus insisted.

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter if she won't give me a shot," James said depressingly.

"Well how is she supposed to give you a shot if you're pushing her away?"

"Me? I have been more than clear that I like her," James told him.

"Yeah, but in a few short months she became one of your best friends. And that's when you decided to spring on her that you love her then run off and get a girlfriend whom you hate before she could even sort out her feelings," Remus said, "She obviously feels like she can't get close to you anymore because it would ruin your current relationship. Because just the fact that you comforted her, almost made you and Melissa break up."

"Well if she wants to get closer with me then why wouldn't she want to break me and Melissa up? I sure as hell wouldn't mind," James said.

"Prongs, you have to understand. Lily isn't like any other girl. She isn't going to be manipulative or cunning in order to get something done. And now everyone is telling her that she needs to date you and it's making her feel like she can't give in even if she wants to. And if she probably felt so guilty that she almost broke you and Melissa up and would feel horrible if it actually happened," Remus patiently explained, "So if you want Lily to give you a chance, you will have to put yourself in a position where that could happen."

"Wow, Moony how could a person feel so much? And how on Earth could you be so insightful about girls?" James wondered. Remus only shrugged.

"But that's all great and everything, but it's all banking on the fact that Lily has feelings for me," James said. He could feel a flicker of hope stirring in his chest, he wanted to squash it before it hurt him all over again.

"I'm not saying that she does," Remus said, "But, if she could possibly at some point later on have feelings for you, and you are prepared to wait however long for her, then you are going to have to be single. If you want her to develop feelings, then you have to be her friend. She's already seen you be such a great person and that's why she's your friend. You just need to be there for her."

"Of course I'd be willing to wait for her, but now she's out with Fenwick. How am I supposed to let her 'develop feelings' or whatever, if she's dating another guy?" James asked pouting. The fact that Lily was still with Benjy Fenwick in an unused Charms classroom for the past half an hour had slipped his mind momentarily.

"If it's meant to be then it'll happen. Just don't distance yourself from her if she is dating Fenwick," Remus warned, "Just be her close friend for now. She doesn't like feeling forced into anything, even if she wants it too. So keep being friends until she's ready."

"Alright, I mean it's more than what I had last year," James admitted. He flopped back onto his bed and just thought things over. If Remus thought that Lily could like him one day then that's a good sign. And for just a moment he forgot that he had a girlfriend, that Lily was probably hooking up with Fenwick, and that they were just friends. He allowed himself to imagine Lily as his girlfriend for the first time in forever. He imagined him holding her hand and kissing her beautiful lips. He imagined her kissing him back and putting her hands through his hair. He imagined her saying that she loved him back. And for a while he hadn't been happier, even if it would only ever be in his head.

Suddenly an owl made a sound from outside. James jumped up and opened the window to let a school owl inside. There was a letter attached to the foot that James untied. He recognised the handwriting sprawled out.

James Potter,

Please come down to my classroom as soon as you can. I have something I need to discuss with you and it is of the utmost importance.

-Minerva McGonagall

James grabbed the Marauder's Map and checked to see where Lily was. He found her name almost instantaneously. She was still holed up with Fenwick in that stupid classroom and McGonagall was all the way across the school James sighed and put it away.

"What's the letter say?" Remus asked.

"It's just Minnie. She wants to see me. Probably about how we snuck out yesterday night," James said with a shrug.

"Okay, see you," Remus replied, going back to his Muggle book. James didn't know why he even bothered with Muggle books. It wasn't going to help him in Hogwarts.

"Bye," James said before leaving the dormitory.

He walked down towards his Transfiguration teacher's room. It was odd that she was asking to meet with him after dinner. He approached the door and knocked. It felt weird, James never used to knock before entering her room.

"Come in," McGonagoll's stern voice called out. James pushed the door open and smiled at her.

"Hello Professor," James said, the polite words unusual.

"Professor? Knocking? Much less pranks? What's got into you, James?" McGonagoll asked with a faint smile.

"I dunno. I have just seen an error in my ways I suppose," James said, even though they both knew the real answer.

"And you came to this epiphany all by yourself? Without the help of Miss Evans perhaps?" she said with a smile. James loved his teacher. She had a stern front during class, but always had a soft spot for the Marauders. And she understood James better than most.

"Not sure what you mean, Professor. Perhaps I'm always polite and caring," James joked.

"Everyone has noticed how you and Miss Evans are suddenly getting along," McGonagoll said, insinuating that James and Lily are more than friends.

"Well like you, my new friend, Miss Evans, has just picked up on my kind and caring side too," James said grinning, "But I assume you called me in for more than to speak about school gossip." He saw his teacher's face flush a bit when he called her out.

"Of course. So as you know, we won our first match against Ravenclaw," she began, her face lighting up, "And at that match... well there was a scout. A Professional Quidditch scout."

"No way!" James said with wide eyes. "And-and they noticed me?"

"They came to see you. I didn't want to tell you, because I knew that you'd over think it. But just before I sent you the letter, I received a letter from the Wimbleton Wasps. They really like you, James," Minerva said with a proud smile. Of course McGonagoll considers Quidditch to be of the utmost importance.

"Wow," James said, letting the idea sink in. He always wanted to be a professional Quidditch player. And he didn't care what team picked him up, even the Wasps.

"Is it still your ambition to become a professional Chaser?" his professor asked, noticing the smile fading from his lips.

"Well it has always been my dream and I'm truly honoured to be scouted, but-" James said unsure, "but I don't think that that will be the best course of action for me anymore."

"And why is that? I hope you realize that if I respond saying you aren't interested that you may not get another chance?" McGonagoll informed him. He hated seeing her disappointed, but he knew it wouldn't be fair of him to do it.

"Well with the war going on it seems kind of silly to become a sports player. I should be fighting, not playing a game," James said, "And Dumbledore had sort of mentioned the Order and I'd like to join." James watched as tears threatened McGonagall's eyes. This was a woman who was destined to become the greatest Quidditch player of her age, but suffered a horrible injury. He knew that she lived through her players a bit, reveling in their success and insuring their victory. He knew that James had the opportunity to become a professional Quidditch player, an opportunity that she had taken away, and James was throwing his away. But he never expected her to cry over it.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Professor. I just thought-" James started to apologise.

"Disappoint me!? Merlin James, I am so proud of you. That was a very Gryffindor thing of you to do," she said with a sniffle. She came around from her desk and hugged James. James immediately felt loads better. She was proud of him. He was doing the right thing. He was doing the right thing.

"So I can join the Order?" he asked hopefully. Neither of his parents were in the Order, but neither of them were very young. He really wanted to be making a difference and he knew Dumbledore would do that before the Minister.

"No, not yet. I'll speak with the Headmaster about after you graduate, but not while you're in school," his Professor said smiling.

"Alright. I should probably get to bed then," James said.

"You really have grown up, haven't you?" she said nostalgic. James smiled at her, the teacher who was the first to reprimand him when he stepped out of line. But before she'd reprimand them for a prank, she'd always slip a smile. And if he'd duel a person who made anyone uncomfortable than she'd give him a biscuit when they were alone. She'd give him points if they were wrongly taken away from him. She was always looking out for Sirius and his family issues, Remus and his secret, and Peter and his grades. And with James she would simply smile, and it was the best feeling. Besides when Lily became his friend, that was the best feeling ever.

"Everyone has to at some point," James said grinning, "I'll see you in class Professor." James emphasized Professor and waved goodbye. James walked back up to the Common Room feeling lighter than ever. Smiling by himself in the dark, that was true joy.

"Just give it some thought, ok? I think it'd be great for us both," Lily said to Benjy as the exited the classroom. James was very aware of her hand on his bicep.

"I will. I think we'd have fun and y'know do the world a favour and all," Benjy replied with a grin. Lily laughed.

"Bye Benjy!" Lily called out.

"Goodnight Lily!" Benjy replied with a wave, before turning the corner. He saw Lily smile to herself too and James' heart sank from his blissful state of mind.

"Hey there," he said, leaning up against the wall. He forced a friendly smile when he saw her surprised face. She looked as if she was caught doing something wrong.

"James," she said recovering, "Spot me on the map, did you?" For a moment he thought she was going to yell at him, but she was joking with him. Like all friends do.

"No actually McGonagall wanted to see me," James said holding her letter up.

"Interesting. And what was so important that she needed to see you after curfew?" Lily inquired.

"Let's go somewhere a bit more private to talk. Peter said that the Gobstones Club was having a tournament in there," James said. He was glad that he overheard Peter talking about it, because he wanted some more time with Lily.

"Big news I assume?" she asked. James nodded, "So where are we going?"

"One last secret of the castle," James said grinning. He wanted to grab her hand and pull her through the dark hallways, but he felt that it was inappropriate now.

"Thought I knew them all now," Lily said giggling.

"Oh silly Lily, not even the Marauders know all the castle's secrets. Hell, I'm not sure that Dumbledore even knows them all," he said with a chuckle.

"Why didn't we bring the cloak? We are out after curfew and someone could come from anywhere," Lily said worried.

"Well Tigerlily, why were you out after curfew? Some late night snogging with Fenwick, yeah?" James said, trying to sound like a friend who was teasing her. He wasn't sure if she could hear the jealousy.

"No, nothing like that. Benjy is a sweet guy and a wonderful friend, but nothing could ever happen with us," Lily said clamming up.

"And why is that?" James pried, "Does he have bad breath? Does he call his girlfriends absurd nicknames?" James was trying to make her laugh, but she wasn't.

"Can we talk about something different, James?" Lily asked, her voice cold. It surprised him, he hadn't heard her talk to him in that way in a long time. Or at least it felt that way, but her voice brought back memories of 5th year all over again.

"Trouble in paradise?" a voice called out from the darkness. James grabbed his wand. He knew that voice. He hated that voice.

"Lumos," Lily said, a bright light emerging from the end of her wand.

"Snivellus," James scowled. The greasy haired prat was standing 20 feet away from them with a cold sneer.

"Potter," Snape said, "Strutting around the castle at night like an arrogant bastard. Typical." James was resisting the urge to hex him. He would've already started duelling if Lily hadn't strategically placed her hand on his bicep to stop him.

"I'm not arrogant. And it seems to me that you're also strolling the castle," James retorted. James watched as Snape's cronies, Avery and Mulciber came out of the shadows.

"An arrogant person has a disregard for the rules. Which you certainly obtain. You think that just because you've won Lily that means that you can walk around showing her off like a trophy?" Snape insisted passionately. James had never heard his voice like that, and it confirmed his theory. James wasn't the only one in love with Lily.

"I am not an object to be won! I am a person, as is James, but for you and your cronies the same certainly doesn't apply," Lily said with a burning look in her eyes. James saw him flinch, and apologies were evident on his face yet she kept going. "I figured a broken nose would be enough to make you leave me alone." James looked at Snape's crooked nose. Lily must have had a good punch.

"Fine, I'll leave you and Potter to go snog in peace," he said. They walked past and Snape never looked back, but James had a suspicion that Snape loved Lily. And for some reason he was saying those things to protect her. Once they were out of sight, James spoke.

"Hey, we can head back to the Common Room now if you'd like," James comforted.

"No, I don't want to go back yet," she said, her voice cracking but still strong. She looked like she wanted to take his hand is hers and she almost did, before pulling away. So James did the work for her, he grabbed her hand. A small and dainty one enveloped in a large and rough one. Hers were cold, his warm. She pulled away.

"We can't do things like that, James," Lily said reminding him of their friendship.

"Sorry. Just wanted to make you feel better," James apologised. He silently led her down the hallways of the fourth floor. When they reached the mirror, James muttered an incantation and the mirror swung open. He stepped in and led her into the roomy secret passage and brought her over to some chairs that the Marauders had set up one time. Lily looked around in awe.

"A secret passage?" Lily said with wonder.

"Yup."

"This is more amazing than I imagined it would be," Lily said.

"Lily?" James asked. She was staring at him confused, "What can I do?"

"I'm fine. Just tell me your big news," she said. James sighed, he knew that each encounter with Snape hurt her more and more. And James hated that Snape meant so much to her when he'd done nothing to earn her affections.

"Oh well at the first match there was a scout from the Wimbleton Wasps. They sent McGonagall a letter saying they are interested in me," James said. He didn't know if Lily would like him turning down their offer.

"That's amazing James!" Lily leapt forward and hugged him. James caught a whiff of her strawberry scented hair before she quickly let go.

"Uh thanks," he said unsure how to tell her.

"Hasn't this been your dream for the longest time?" Lily asked.

"Well yeah I suppose it has," James answered.

"So do you start after you graduate or... or like as soon as possible?" Her voice caught as she said it, making James smile.

"Don't worry. You aren't getting rid of me that easy," he joked. Then he got serious after a moment, "Well I suppose that's because I'm not going to join the team."

"Why not?" she asked, "Are you waiting for a better team to be interested?"

"No, I just don't think dedicating my life to a game is prevalent during the war and everything. There are loads of more important things," James said confidently. Like you, he thought.

"But isn't this your dream?" Lily asked with wide eyes.

"Maybe it used to be. Now I don't think childhood dreams have their place anymore. It's one side or the other and I plan on fighting," James told her.

"That's valiant of you," she said with a smile, "It doesn't seem fair, does it?"

"What?"

"This war is for the kids. The kids are the ones who are being recruited and forced to fight. To give up their dreams and possibly their lives. And we didn't start this. This is a war led by adults. You-Know-Who, Dumbledore, the Minister. All of them are adults, but neither side would get anywhere without the children."

"Yeah not fair at all. But what about you? What are your plans for after we graduate?" James asked Lily.

"Well my dream was to become a potioneer. Like your dad," Lily said wistfully, "but you're right. That's only a dream. We have a war to fight."

"Yeah. Maybe after the war you'll become a potioneer and I'll be a Chaser," James said trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe," she replied deep in thought.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"Hm? Oh nothing. Well actually a lot."

"Anything you'd like to talk about?" James asked.

"Just another thing with my sister. It's quite stupid actually," Lily rambled.

"Well I'm here to listen and I doubt it's stupid," James said.

"So this morning I got a letter from my sister. Tuney is getting married to this Vernon bloke. Vernon Dursley. And well I'm not sure why, but I figured I'd be in the wedding. I am her sister after all, but I'm not, and I know it shouldn't bother me. But it does." Lily said. She's fiddling with fingers, avoiding looking at him. She pulled the letter from her pocket and gave it to him to read.

Lily Evans,

Hello. Just so my intentions are clear: I did not want to write this letter. About how everything went down at Christmas, I'm sorry things didn't work out, but it is for the best. Regardless of my wishes, however, Mum still made me write this.

Vernon proposed to me last weekend. It is truly a wonderful ring and he's a wonderful man. We are both extremely excited. And due to our mutual happiness, we decided we wanted a brief engagement. The wedding will be held on April 17th, 1977 at our Church. Once more, Mum and Dad insist that you are in attendance, which will then force a bunch of problems for me. I will have to inform Vernon of your 'situation' and I promise that he will not like it anymore than I do. I will have to make sure that you will be under control and as normal as someone like you can possibly attempt to be. And third, I will need to make sure you do not go off and scare any of Vernon's family away.

Lastly, to make myself clear you are NOT a bridesmaid nor my maiden of honour. That role will reside with Anna, one of my oldest and most normal friends. You will not have any hand in the wedding ceremony nor the celebration. So please don't even bother returning home until the day of the wedding, or better yet, save everyone the trouble and do not come at all. If you decide to come however, do try to blend in. Wear something normal and not any freakish attire that you so often dress in at your school. Nor let on that you are a witch, because the Church isn't very forgiving of people like you and I'd prefer not to be associated with that. Also there won't be any need for any gifts from you. I can do without any more freakish sweets or questions from any of my many guests regarding you.

Cordially,

Petunia Evans (Dursley)

"Oh Lily," James said, pulling her into a hug. He felt her melt into him and her worries lifted momentarily.

"I know it's stupid and I should've expected it after how we ended things, but as kids we'd always dream of our wedding. And we promised each other that we'd be each other's maid of honour. But now everything fell apart," Lily said. James pulled away from the hug.

"You are the farthest thing from stupid. And your sister is a right foul git," James said. "Even worse than what I was expecting. She's horrible!"

"I know," Lily said, with the corners of her mouth turning up, "Try living with her."

"Since I'm an only child and all, I can't even imagine, but it has affected Padfoot. Him and Regulus were best friends growing up. And Padfoot never fully knew how wrong with his parents beliefs, because it was all he knew. But when he came to Hogwarts and sorted Gryffindor, his parents were furious. And we taught Sirius that he can't call Muggleborns a you-know-what, because he hadn't realized it was offensive. When he returned home for Christmas, him and his parents had their first real fight. And he always got in loads of trouble. He'd be locked up for days and this was still while his parents had their claws in Regulus, because Regulus was still at home. Regulus only saw his big brother coming home from school saying things radically different to what they were always taught and getting beaten for it," James explained. "And ever since him and Regulus have on opposite sides of this war. Regulus got sorted Slytherin which didn't help Sirius try and teach his brother. And everyone can see that he doesn't whole-heartily believe what they say. When they attacked you and I, Regulus didn't even try. And Sirius knows this and when he ran away to my house, he tried and get his brother to come with him. He pleaded with him and Regulus said that he couldn't. That his parents and his House would never forgive him. He begged Sirius to stay, because he always made living at home more bearable. But Sirius couldn't have, they were starving him and locking him away. He told his brother that he had to go, but he'd always be there for him no matter what." James watched as she started to tear up.

"And here I was all these years, thinking that Sirius was a skin deep bully," Lily said with an apologetic huff. "And now I'm crying that I'm not in a silly wedding of two people who hate me. When Sirius and Remus have way bigger problems than myself."

"Don't say that. You have every right to be upset by your sister and her lump of a fiance. You are constantly pitted against and you still wake up with a smile. You are amazing and I'm sorry that people are bigoted and your sister is a git," James told her.

"It isn't your fault."

"No, but I wish there was anything I could do to make you feel better," he said sadly.

"You could come to the wedding with me," she offered, "My mum made Petunia still invite me although I'm not in the wedding."

"Of course! When is it?" James asked, feeling happy that she asked him rather than anyone else. Someone such as Benjy Fenwick.

"Over Easter break," Lily said coming to a realization, "Never mind, you can't come."

"Why not?" James complained. How could she say something so touching than take it away. And she said it in such a way that made him feel like he'd done something wrong.

"You have a girlfriend, James," Lily said with a sad chuckle. He sighed, he forgot about Melissa. He supposed that he had done something wrong by going out with Melissa in the first place.

"For now," he mumbled. He needed to break up with Melissa, he felt like things were changing with Lily and he could have a chance.

"What?"

"I need to go find Melissa," he said more clearly.

"No you are not," she said grabbing his sleeve.

"Excuse me?"

"I will not allow you to break up with you girlfriend because of me," Lily said not letting go of his sleeve.

"Well she's getting in the way of our friendship which is much more important to me than my relationship with her. And her and I breaking up is long overdue," he said grinning.

"Well you can't break up with her now, it's the middle of the night," she pointed out, "I'm not even sure where the Hufflepuff Common Room is, much less how to enter."

"Well Tigerlily, I'm a Marauder," he said smirking.

"Still it's quite rude to break into someone's room in the middle of the night to break up with them," Lily said.

"I'm not breaking in, I'm just entering the room because I know how. And it isn't that late," he said.

"I suppose there isn't anything I can do to stop you?" she sighed.

"Well before we were friends, you would have no problem hexing me," he said smiling. Lily playfully raised her wand and he started running.

"Get back safe!" she called out behind him.

He ran through the halls and towards the kitchens in the basement. He sought out the particular still-life painting that was one of many along the corridor. Aha! He swung the painting open and walked forward. There were several large barrels and James had unfond memories of trying to get the password right. If you did it wrong then the barrels would drench you in vinegar, he couldn't get the smell off for days.

He grinned and tapped the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row 5 times. The barrel opened up, without vinegar, and James went through the earthy passage way. When James got to the end of the upwards sloping tunnel, he entered the low ceiling room. It was decorated with the yellow and black of it's emblem. There were several large armchairs and honey coloured wood tables. Hanging plants were all over and the fireplace was always burning. James definitely preferred the Gryffindor Common Room, but the Hufflepuff was a close second. It always made him feel at home when he went inside. The Slytherin Common Room was dark and dank and the Ravenclaw was too stuffy.

James went over to the large round wooden doors that distinguished the girls and boys dormitories from one another. He took a piece of parchment from his pocket and scribbled a note down. He knew that he couldn't enter the girl's dormitory so he flew a note up to Melissa. Once he put the charm on the parchment it flew up the stairs with a low buzzing sound. James sat on one of the plush armchairs and waited for Melissa to come down. And ten minutes later, James was ready to call it quits and break up with her tomorrow, but he heard her footsteps coming.

"James?" she said, her voice tired but happy.

"Hey Melissa," he replied nervous.

"How did you get here?" she asked confused. "Did someone let you in?"

"No, I figured out the barrel password back in third year. I must say that the vinegar is a nice touch," James said with a smile. Melissa smiled and kissed him on the lips lightly.

"Melissa look," he began as he pulled away, "we've had our fun, but I think it is time to end things between us."

"You woke me up in the middle of the night to break up with me?" she said in disbelief.

"You're great, but I can't really see us going anywhere," he said gently.

"I can't believe you James! I'm in love with you for Merlin's sake," she yelled and James winced. Her usual soft brown eyes were filled with fury and rage.

"You- you're in love?" he stammered. He now understands how uncomfortable Lily felt when he confessed his love for her.

"Yes," she said firmly.

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'" she demanded. Oh no. I am in over my head for this one, he thought.

"I mean I'm sorry Melissa, but it isn't fair to either of us if we keep this up," he tried to explain.

"Is this about Lily?" she asked, sounding defeated.

"No this is about me and you," he comforted.

"Do you fancy her?"

"A bit, I suppose," he said unable to lie, but restrained from the whole truth.

"Well you should know this that she fancies you too," Melissa said. She looked like she hated saying what she said, but she forced herself to regardlessly.

"I really don't think so," he told her truthfully.

"I've seen the way she looks at you," Melissa said bitterly, "And the thing is, the entire female population of Hogwarts would love to hate her because you are so hopelessly in love with her. But no one can, because she is so biologically nice and she doesn't even try."

"Thanks Melissa," James said with a smile. 'Biologically nice' was the perfect way to describe Lily.

"Yeah well I didn't say it for you. I said it so you don't go breaking the heart of another girl while you wait on Lily. Anyways, I have to go cry my eyes out for a few hours before breakfast," she said.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry over a tosser like me," he said.

"Can't help it," she said sadly. She walked back through those round wooden doors and didn't look back.

**AN: Well over 1,000 views! Yay!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Becoming of Age

Today was Lily's birthday. She was turning 17 years old. In the Muggle World she'd be getting her driver's licence, but in the Wizarding World everything changes. She becomes an adult, she can use magic freely, she can apparate. And Lily was so excited. She threw her bed curtains open and smiled at the sunlight shining through the windows. Her owl flew right up and Lily opened it to let her in. She took the letter from the owl's leg.

My dearest Lilyflower,

Happy Birthday sweetheart! We miss you so much. I hope school is going well. Keep up your marks and you'll be on track for Head Girl! I hope we'll see you for Easter holidays. We spoke with Petunia and I know she already sent you a letter about her engagement, but she said that she would be thrilled if you could make it to her wedding. It isn't mandatory, of course, but it wouldn't hurt to bring a date to the wedding as long as he could blend in as a non-magical person. And I know we'd all love to see your 'friend' James again. See you soon!

Love, Mum and Dad

P.S. We couldn't figure out how to get your owl to bring your gift so we will just give it to you over Easter!

Lily grinned as she read it, although she doubted Petunia was actually thrilled, the idea of it still made her smile. And of course her parents thought James was more than a friend. Even if it wasn't true it made her chuckle.

"Happy Birthday Lily!" Marlene shouted as she walked into the dormitory. Lily hugged her best friend with excitement. Her other dormmates groggily woke up from Marlene's shouts.

"Thanks Marls," she said, "Where were you last night?" Marlene grinned mischievously and Lily gaped at her.

"Never mind that! Let's go down to breakfast," Marlene deflected the question.

"In a minute, I've still got to get changed," Lily pointed out, "As do you, seeing as you are still in the same clothes as last night." Marlene slapped her arm playfully.

"Keep up the cheeky comments and I'll return your gift," she threatened.

"Sorry, you bring it out in me," Lily joked. Marlene grinned.

The five girls walked down to the Great Hall together. Mary was slightly grumpy from being woken up in such a manner, but that all disappeared when she saw her boyfriend.

"Reg!" Mary shouted. He turned around and welcomed her hug with open arms. Lily didn't know what Mary saw in Reginold. He was always too quiet and too bland. Don't misunderstand her, Reginold Cattermole is a nice enough guy but Lily just didn't see the appeal.

"Hullo Mary," he replied. The pair intertwined hands and walked ahead with Reginald's friend rather than with the girls. Marlene looked over to Lily rolling her eyes.

"Never mind them, let's get inside before Sirius eats all the Treacle Tarts," Marlene said.

"Treacle Tarts? It's breakfast," Lily said with a laugh. The girls went inside to see the entire hall decked out in Muggle birthday decorations. There were balloons floating where the candles usually were, streamers in red and gold lined all the walls and tables, and a never ending supply of confetti rained down from the ceiling. And most noticeably, there was a large banner hanging above the Professors that read: **Happy Birthday Tigerlily!**

"No way," she said under her breath. Lily could feel all eyes on her, standing in the doorway. Sirius stood on the table and began conducting the Happy Birthday Song. Lily laughed and made her way over to the table. She slid in next to James and she couldn't stop laughing.

"I cannot believe you guys!" Lily said.

"You better believe it. Took us all night," Peter muttered bitterly.

"Cheer up Pete," Remus told him.

"Happy Birthday Lily," James said sweetly. Lily leaned over and gave him a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

"Oi! I want a hug," Sirius complained. Lily turned to Sirius who was sitting on the other side of her and gave him a big hug too.

"This is brilliant. Slightly embarrassing, but utterly brilliant," Lily said.

"Glad you like it, because there is more to come," Sirius said with a wink.

"Lovely," she said. Lily began to pile food onto her plate, but then every head turned to the entrance. Lily looked and saw about ten house elves carrying gifts and a large cake.

"That's all for me?" she said with wonder.

"No it's for Nearly Headless Nick," James said as the ghost came up behind him.

"That's Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington to you Potter," the ghost said angrily.

"Sorry Sir Nicholas," James amended, giving him a mock salute. The house elves placed all of her gifts onto the table and the cake went to the side.

"Open mine first!" Sirius shouted gleefully. He passed her his gift, that was wrapped in old Daily Prophets. She tore the paper off to reveal a framed photograph. It was her and James together at the New Year's Ball. She felt her heart swell and she gave Sirius another hug. He scratched out a note on the back of the frame that read:

Dearest Tigerlily,  
Happy Birthday. This is so you realize how much you are in love with Prongs.

Your handsomest friend,

Sirius

P.S. I call Best Man at the wedding

"I love it," she said to him, still giggling about his note.

"What is it?" the others asked. She showed her friends the wizard photograph.

"And Sirius, just to clarify, you are not my handsomest friend. If anything that title would be awarded to Remus." Lily reached over and squeezed Remus' hand.

"Hey!" Sirius and James yell together. Remus smirked at the two boys playfully.

"Would you like to open mine," Remus offered. It was larger than Sirius' and in a boxy shape. She tore the wrapping paper, the proper wrapping paper. There were two books: An Anthology of Eighteenth Century Charms and Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charmes. Lily almost shrieked with excitement.

"How did you find this one?" Lily asked, holding up the second book, "I've been trying to get a hold of one for months."

"My father is friends with a bookshop owner," Remus said shrugging.

"Thank you so much. I love it," she told him. He smiled wide and Lily was so happy, but Sirius was still pouting a bit across the table.

"Open mine!" Marlene insisted. She handed Lily a package.

"Thanks Marls," Lily said inspecting her new Luxury Phoenix Feather Quill. She had been meaning to get a new quill and this would last for ages.

"Not a problem. Y'know how you were saying how Muggle pens are better because the ink is already in it?" Marlene asked. Lily nodded, "Well I charmed it so it is like a Muggle pen."

"Amazing!" Lily said squeezing her friend's hand. Emmeline and Dorcas got her a box of sweets from Honeydukes and Peter got her Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans (in hopes to convince her of their brilliance). She had thought that that was all of them, but James pulled a long thin package from his robes. He wordlessly handed Lily the package and Lily gratefully took it. She opened the box to see a necklace. A thin golden chain with an emerald in the center. Lily thought it was the most beautiful thing and she hugged her friend passionately. She blinked tears from her eyes and thanked him over and over again.

"You shouldn't have," she said under her breath. He took the necklace from her hands and for a moment she thought he was taking it back from her. But he brushed her hair to the side and clasped it around her neck.

"I wanted to," he assured her. She wanted to burst into tears, but she held it together. In the corner of her eye, Lily spotted Dumbledore and Professor McGonagoll beaming at the two of them.

"Everyone is looking at you," Marlene whispered. Lily looked around the Great Hall and spotted all her classmates staring at her. She saw Severus squint at her and James. She realized she was still holding his arms and she quickly dropped them.

"Fancy getting out of here?" James asked, whispering as well. The whole room seemed too quiet, so Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Marlene all exited together. Once they were out of view, Lily turned to her friends.

"I cannot believe you guys just did that," Lily said grinning as she shook her head.

"It's not every day that a witch turns seventeen," James said.

"Did Professor McGonagoll give you a hard time about it?" Lily wondered.

"Nah, just pursed lips, but I think that was to hide her smile," Sirius joked. James tugged on her sleeve and pulled her behind the group. He had a light smile and hair that was slightly less messy than usual.

"Hi," she said. His arm was still resting on her arm.

"How d'you like your birthday so far?" he asked sounding nervous.

"Just downright splendid," she said cheerily, "I've never had anything like it."

"That isn't completely true..." he said laughing.

"What? Oh... I forgot about that," she said laughing too, "What year was that?"

"Fourth."

"Right, but to be fair that birthday celebration that you set up was slightly less extravagant. And fewer people saw it, seeing as it was in the Common Room," Lily said remembering.

"Good thing too. I wouldn't have wanted too many people to see me just my arse whooped by the birthday girl," James said.

"It wasn't like I dueled you or anything, just said some... choice words to you. Something regarding your arrogance," Lily recalled.

"Said? More like yelled, but we are- thankfully- past that. So how did you like your gifts?" he asked.

"They were all lovely. Especially yours," she said fondly. His face brightened.

"Really? I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure..." he rambled.

"James don't be daft, of course I love it. It's sweet and beautiful and probably more expensive than I needed," Lily said. She wondered how many Galleons that necklace costed. Way more than your average birthday gift should. But she knew that James would never be deterred from buying people expensive things. If anything he'd be offended if she told him he didn't need to.

"Well there's a bit of a bonus that comes with the necklace," James mentioned, "That's why I pulled you back."

"A bonus?"

"Well if you ever need me then you just hold down on the emerald. I have a matching one," he showed her. It was identical to her necklace. "so when you press it mine will have a burning sensation."

"That's incredible," she told him, "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I'm just glad you like it," James said with a warm grin. He slung his arm around her and walked her to class.

~James~ New Friends and Pipe Dreams

The months passed and went. His friendship with Lily flourished. James and Lily did end up going on the Hogsmeade trip together and they had a smashing time. No love confessions or Firewhiskey smuggling to ruin it. Sirius and Marlene broke up then got back together then broke up again. They're both incredibly miserable. And they are trying equally hard to prove they are over each other. Emmeline and Remus were doing alright. Thankfully she was as clueless as ever about Remus' whereabouts on the full moons. Peter hadn't corrected his 4th year Hufflepuff girlfriend on his name, so she still calls him Pierre. James and Sirius had got into multiple detentions again for duelling a group of bigoted Slytherins. Sirius suspected that Regulus was going to be recruited as a Death Eater. And James was doing his best to figure out how to blend in at a Muggle wedding. He had talked to the Muggle Studies professor and it helped a bit, but he still didn't know how to act. And Madam Pince was no help at all. How can the library not have a single book about Muggle wedding!? James was frustrated. He wanted everything to go perfectly. Even though Lily and him were not dating, he still wanted Lily's parents to like him. James had met them, just not like this. He hoped that one day it would be Lily and his wedding that they'd be going to. A pipe dream.

"Hullo Prongs," Peter said as he entered Three Broomsticks with Joanne Brocklehurst on his arm. James loved seeing Peter with his girlfriend. And he absolutely loved hyping Pete up when she was around.

"Wormtail!" James said excitedly, "Just the man I was looking for!"

"Really!? Me?" he said walking over to his table.

"Who else?" James told him, "Hey Joanne."

"Hey James," she said fluttering her eyelashes.

"Now Pe- I mean Wormy. I was having a spot of trouble with my Herbology essay and I was wondering if you could help me real quick," James lied.

"Erm..."

"Sure he can. He's so modest, but Professor Sprout was just telling me how talented he is in Herbology," Joanne said. Peter blushed heavily and James smiled at them both.

"I'm not bad," Peter admitted. James knew Herbology was Peter's best class by far.

"So how would you describe the juices secreted by the Venomous Tentacula?"

"Oh well the- er- juices are venomous, 'course, but not lethal. It's colourless and odourless. If someone swallows it then they'll have a burning sensation and their skin'll turn purple as a result," Peter said getting more confidant the more he spoke. He looked to James expectantly.

"Thanks," James said, "Now I'll leave you two to your date. Sorry to bother you, I just needed Wormtail's help."

"Oh you weren't a bother at all, James," Joanne promised. "Pierre is just so smart."

"Very smart indeed," James agreed, "How about I buy the two of you a round, yeah?"

"You don't have to-" Peter told him.

"It's no big deal. I'll be right back," James replied. He walked over to the bar and waved over Madam Rosmerta, "Nice to see you."

"As you James, but I really can't be giving you any Firewhiskey. Not while the whole school is here," Madam Rosmerta told him. She gestured to the bar that was bustling with underage students.

"Don't worry about it. I just need two Butterbeers," James said with a chuckle. She knew him too well.

"Got a date?" she asked as she got the drinks.

"Nope. They're for Pete and his girlfriend," James said, "I'm just buying them." He put 4 sickles on the counter.

"Where's Sirius?" she asked.

"Moping back in the Common Room. He just got chucked by his girlfriend," James informed her. He understood her curiosity seeing as James never came to Three Broomsticks alone.

"Poor bloke," Madam Rosmerta told him, "Didn't realize Sirius was one to date."

"I doubt he will after this," James said, "Although I'm sure he'd be willing to make an exception for you."

"I'm sure he would," she said with a laugh. "I know I said I wouldn't give you any today, but I'd hate knowing that Sirius was upset." She handed him a bottle of firewhiskey. James quickly transfigured it into a water bottle for secrecy.

"Thanks Rosmerta," James said with a wave. James charmingly grinned and brought the drinks back to Peter and Joanne.

"For you," he said placing the drinks on the table.

"Thanks James," Joanne said.

"No problem. But I should get going. I'll see you later Wormy," James said, packing his stuff back up.

"Bye Prongs," Peter said waving goodbye. James waved back and walked out of the shop. The snow had melted, leaving the ground slushy. He figured that he should head back to the castle soon, seeing as he was alone and didn't need to be here for any reason to be there.

A flash of long dark red hair caught his eye. Lily was leaving Gladrags clothing shop. And beside her was a boy with black hair that fell below his ears. Is it Sirius? Or Snape? Anyone but Snape. The student's head turned back, giving James a glimpse of their face. It was Cardoroc Dearborn, a 6th year Ravenclaw. A pang of jealousy shot through him. James instinctually wanted to follow them, but he realized that Lily wouldn't like that very much. So James decided to head in the other direction before curiosity took over. Then he saw Remus exiting Madam Puddifoot's with Emmeline Vance.

"Oi Prongs!" Remus yelled from across the way.

"Hey Moony," James said, "Hey Emmeline. How's your date?"

"Good," Remus told him. He smiled lovingly at Emmeline, "Great actually. You heading back to the castle?"

"Yeah, but I think I'm going to head into Honeydukes first," James said with a smirk. Remus knew James was talking about the secret passage.

"Lovely. Um- well make sure you are accounted for. Otherwise Filch'll have a fit," Remus warned. Emmeline looked at the two boys, unsure why they were saying the things they said.

"I'm not stupid Moony. I've been here before, haven't I?" James told him with a laugh. James wasn't stupid enough to come by carriage then return unaccounted for. He came through the secret passage and will return by secret passage.

"Alright then. See you at dinner!" Remus said taking Emmeline by the hand. James said goodbye and smiled at Remus finally opening up to a girl. It isn't like Remus hasn't dated, but when he did in the past it never lasted more than a month. He couldn't risk the girl getting suspicious. James walked into the candy shop, which was relatively empty. James went into an empty row and threw his invisibility cloak around him. He walked to the cellar and entered the passage.

"Oi Sirius!" James shouted as he entered the dorm, "Have I got a surprise for you!"

"What?" Sirius snapped, resembling his Animagus form very much in that moment.

"Settle down mate. Rosmerta gave us some Firewhiskey," James said, "She figured you could use some fun."

"You told her!?" Sirius demanded.

"Bloody hell Padfoot, the whole school knows," James said, "Besides, you've never let a girl bother you this much."

"Well I've never been chucked before, have I?" he said, "And this is Marlene, not a random snog."

"Go talk to her if you're this upset," James suggested, "I mean if you like her this much..."

"What do you want me to do? Beg her? No, that'd be pathetic," Sirius said falling back onto his bed. James hated seeing his friend so upset. And he hated that the one who made him so upset was his other friend.

"Fine, but you better quit moping soon," James said tossing Sirius the firewhiskey. James stalked out of the room and decided to go find Marlene. He needed to know what happened between them. James went back into the Common Room. He hoped that Marlene might be there, but she wasn't.

"Hey James!" a first year called out. James smiled at the boy.

"James, James! Check this out!" another boy said loudly. He had dark messy hair not unsimilar to his own. The boy waved his wand and charmed a nearby girl's hair neon green. The girl shrieked when she saw it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," James warned, "or your green haired friend here will end up giving you much worse than that."

"Sorry Eileen," the boy said changing the Eileen's hair back to normal. Eileen glared at the boy before gratefully and begrudgingly nodding her head in thanks to James, who grinned at them.

"Hullo James," a second year girl giggled, "Are you gonna crush Slytherin next week at the match?"

"'Course," James responded before making it over to a half empty couch. He sat there watching all of the younger Gryffindors. Some were working on homework in little groups. Some were showing off their newfound magical skills. Some snogged in secluded corners, but James didn't watch those. But he knew that the majority of these people looked up to and admired him. And during most of his time here, he was a bit of a prat. He needed to change.

"Hi," James said to a little girl sitting beside him. She couldn't have been older than eleven. She had her black hair up in pigtails and clutched her Hogwarts: a History book to her chest. She seemed startled that James was speaking to her.

"Um hi," she said.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Hestia Jones," the girl said.

"James Potter. It's nice to meet you Hestia," James said with a broad and charming smile. He stuck his hand out to shake hers. She met his hand with her own.

"I'd say nice to meet you too, but I already know who you are," Hestia said with rosy cheeks.

"Do you?"

"Yes, you're James Potter. Quidditch star, top of his class, and a Marauder. You despise Slytherins and love breaking rules," she said sounding more comfortable.

"Well I suppose some of those are true, but I promise there is a lot more to me than that," James told her. "But tell me about you."

"I'm a first year. I do decently in my classes except Transfiguration and Charms," she said, "I have a cat named Millicent and I enjoy watching Quidditch." She spoke in a way that made James think that she had so much thoughts in her head that they all sort of tumbled out at once when she spoke.

"What position are you?" he asked.

"I've never actually played before, but Chaser always seemed cool. My parents never allowed me to play," Hestia said.

"I could teach you if you'd like. I'm a Chaser myself," James offered. The girl looked unsure. "It'll be fun, I promise. You've had flying lessons I assume?"

"Yeah," Hestia said, "but I don't own a broom and first years aren't allowed to have a broom in Hogwarts." She pointed to the book in her hands.

"You said it before: I'm a Marauder," James said grinning, "If you'd like I could get you a broom and teach you how to play."

"You'd do that for me?" she asked, "You hardly know me."

"I told you before, there is a lot more to me than you know," James said feeling happy, "What do you say?"

"Alright," Hestia agreed.

"Lovely. Now, d'you need any help with your homework?" James asked.

"Well there is this bit in Transfiguration that I don't fully get," the first year explained. She rummaged in her satchel to grab an unfinished essay out. "Why is it easier to transfigure something living to something not living rather than the opposite?"

"Okay. Take a mouse to a matchbox for example. The mouse has a soul and the matchbox doesn't, so all you are doing is suppressing the soul and changing the shape. The soul of the mouse is still in the matchbox, just not being expressed. But if you were transfiguring my glasses for example," James said taking his glasses off, "into a rabbit, then you would need to create a soul. Although the soul is only temporary, is still needs to be there. Lapifors." His glasses changed into a small light brown rabbit. Hestia giggled as it hopped around.

"That's amazing!" Hestia exclaimed. James turned the energetic rabbit back into his glasses.

"Keep practicing the mouse to a matchbox and I'm sure you'll get it. Just remember that all you have to do is suppress the soul," James said. He saw Marlene and Lily enter the Common Room. "I have to go, but I'll see you around Hestia."

"Bye James," she said not looking up from practicing Transfiguration. James dashed over to the two girls.

"James? What were you doing with Hestia?" Lily asked, giving him a curious look.

"You know Hestia?" James said. Lily nodded.

"I tutor her sometimes, mostly in Charms. Occasionally in Transfiguration, which is not my best though," Lily told him.

"She's great. I've just met her now," James recalled, "I'm gonna teach her how to play Quidditch. She fancies being a Chaser, y'know. And I gave her some help with Transfiguration." Lily gave him a weird look, he couldn't tell what it meant. Usually when she stared at him it was more of a glare, but this was different. He wasn't sure how, but it was.

"What? What are you staring at?" James asked. Lily let out a small laugh.

"Just you. That was sweet of you to befriend a first year. Quite refreshing," Lily said making James grin.

"Well all you lot were out today with your dates, so I was rather lonely. I had to make some new friends," James then joked, "So I'm sorry Evans, Hestia has officially replaced you." Lily laughed and smacked his arm.

"Sirius was out on a date?" Marlene asked, suddenly pale.

"No, he's balled up in the dormitory, moping about," James told Sirius' ex. Her face brightened significantly at his words. "Happy, are you?"

"No I just-" Marlene began to say.

"Happy that he is downright miserable. This is the third time, McKinnon. Give the poor bloke's heart a rest," James spat out. He knew he wasn't being fair to her, but it pained him to see Sirius hurting.

"You don't understand," she said at last.

"Then tell me what happened or leave Sirius alone," James said harshly.

"Fine it's because that git never gives me any attention! He always complains about how bored he is. And all he cares about is a snog when I need someone I can talk to. I just can't take it!" Marlene said threatening tears.

"Then tell him that! Because the way he sees it is you broke up with him twice for no apparent reason. The first time I get it, but now..." James said, "You were his first real relationship. He doesn't know how it works. He needs you to be there for him as much as you need him."

"This is hard on me too, y'know. And I still have to deal with my mum being- being dead. Maybe I just can't handle a relationship right now," Marlene yelled. The whole Common Room got quiet.

"And that's fine. He would understand that, McKinnon. But you have to at least explain it to him. You can't just chuck him and not tell him why," James shouted back.

"You are a jerk, James Potter," Marlene said.

"Am I?" he replied bitterly, "You're the one who is happy that he's hurting. You're the one who is toying with his heart." She ran up the stairs to her dormitory, not looking back. Lily stood next to him in shock, staring at where Marlene just was.

"I should go to her," Lily said quietly. James nodded. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," he said to her. The Common Room went back to being loud again. Leaving James feeling more out of place than ever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Pastel Yellow and 'Muggle Aurors'

Lily knocked repeatedly on the Marauder's door. She waited for them to answer it impatiently. Honestly, how long does it take to walk two feet to the doors?

"Coming!" a voice inside the room called out. She heard a few crashes and bangs as the person made it across the room. The door swung open revealing Remus and Peter standing there together, blocking the room.

"Hello Lily," Remus said cheerfully.

"Hey."

"Hullo Lily," Peter said.

"Hi," she said, trying to look past the boys. "Can I come in?"

"No," Peter blurted.

"No?"

"No," he confirmed.

"What he means is that Prongs hasn't gottem ready yet, despite my reminders," Remus said smirking.

"Hey!" James shouted from behind them, "You weren't supposed to say that. Besides I'm almost done." Lily laughed and pushed past the boys. James was throwing random articles of clothing out of his trunk as he rummaged through it. Lily picked up a pastel yellow blazer.

"What is this?" Lily asked.

"Oh that's what I'm wearing to the wedding," James said.

"Is this a joke?"

"No, Remus said it'd be good for a Muggle wedding. And you said it was your favourite colour," James explained. Lily turned to Remus who was trying not to burst into laughter.

"Well I do like the colour, not usually for a suit, but we don't have enough time to buy you a new one. So I suppose you are stuck with it," Lily sighed, "Please tell me there aren't matching trousers."

"No I got black stacks and a matching black shirt and tie," James said.

"Slacks not stacks," Lily corrected.

"Why what's wrong with it?" James asked. He stared at the jacket.

"It's just unique... for a wedding. 'Specially a wedding like Tuney's," Lily said.

"I could do a colour changing spell," James offered. James glared at Remus for messing with him.

"No it's alright. The more that I think about it, the better an idea it is. Petunia would absolutely hate it," Lily said.

"I don't want your parents to hate me though," he said.

"Oh don't worry James, they'll love you. Besides my dad wears silly colours all the time," Lily told him.

"Really?"

"Yes, but we have really have to go. We don't want to miss the train," Lily said. "Which I might add, leaves in 5 minutes."

"Why don't we just apparate," James suggested, "It'll be a lot quicker."

"You can't apparate in or out of Hogwarts," Lily reminded him.

"But you can in Hogsmeade," James reminded her.

"Yeah but it isn't a Hogsmeade weekend," Lily said. The three boys looked at her, waiting for her to get it, "The secret passages?" The boys all nodded and smiled a bit to.

"It would be a lot quicker," Remus added.

"Fine, but if I didn't know any better James doesn't want to spend time with me," Lily teased.

"Naturally," James said sarcastically. "Now I'm going to change into this very handsome outfit." He went into the bathroom.

"Very handsome, did you hear?" Remus said to Lily.

"I can't believe you convinced him to wear that," Lily said giggling.

"I didn't think he would actually buy it. But knowing Prongs he is going to make it into a new style," Remus joked.

"Let's just hope his Potter fan club don't all begin to resemble bumblebees," Peter said with a laugh.

"Let's hope not," Lily said, "Where's Sirius?"

"I don't know, he took the Map with him though," Remus answered. "He is still upset about Marlene."

"I tried talking to her, but she won't listen. You know how she gets," Lily said defeated, "They both think it's pathetic to go back to each other, even though they both fancy one another."

"Prideful doesn't even cover it," Remus agreed. Then James burst out of the door, looking- well- incredible. Dashing, strapping, handsome, godly, and any other word. Not that Lily would ever say those things to him. Not that Lily could if she wanted too either, because somehow she had suddenly lost her voice.

"Wow James," Peter said excited. Somehow the yellow and black just worked for him. Lily managed to get herself together and pry her eyes from him. Even more surprisingly, he didn't seem to notice.

"You look nice, James. Presentable," Lily said politely.

"Why thank you, darling. You're looking gorgeous yourself," he said kissing her hand. Lily laughed. He always knows how to break the tension, even if he isn't trying to. She liked that about him.

"You're ridiculous," Lily said, grinning.

"Am not!"

"Are to."

"You both are ridiculous," Remus said, shaking his head.

"Well I suppose we should probably get going then, if you are finally ready," Lily said.

"I just need to grab my wand and I'll be set," he said.

"Alright, let's go," she said. "Bye Moony. Bye Wormtail." She hugged each of them and watched them grin madly when she called them by their nicknames.

"See you guys! Tell Paddy that I said bye," James told them as Lily dragged him out the door.

"Are we going to the mirror passage?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan," James said. "Fancy going under the cloak?" Lily agreed. She certainly didn't want to get caught sneaking into Hogsmeade. The Marauders were such a bad influence on her, she thought.

With a loud crack the two Gryffindors Apparated to Lily's hometown, Cokeworth. Lily realized that they were still holding hands, but she didn't want to let go. Not yet and not here. They were only a few feet away from an old playground with a large chimeny taking up much of the skyline.

"This is where I first met Snape," Lily recalled sadly. She watched as James' jaw tensed up, but he said nothing. "I was playing with Tuney, right over there. I was maybe 9 and I didn't know I was a witch. But I jumped off that swing right there and I used accidental magic to float me to the ground. I don't even know if accidental is the right word, because I could control it, I knew what I was doing. Anyways, Sev, he was hiding behind the bushes, watching us. I was showing Tuney how I could open and close a flower with magic and he revealed himself. He told me I was a witch and Tuney a Muggle." Lily began to tear up, she took a moment to pull herself together.

"Of course neither Tuney nor I knew what a Muggle was, but he said it with such distaste. And calling someone a witch is sort of an insult in the Muggle world, needless to say Tuney and I rushed home without giving him the time of day," Lily finished.

"How did you guys become mates then?" James asked.

"Not long after that, he tracked me down and explained to me everything about magic and Hogwarts. Well except about blood purists and all that. He was my link to the magical world, a world where I belong. Tuney was convinced he was lying to me and that everything I did using magic was 'unnatural'. But she didn't understand. I felt alone in the Muggle World, like a freak as my sister so lovingly calls me. When Snape came into my life he offered an explanation to why I was different. He changed everything for me. One day we were sitting beneath a tree and Tuney was spying on us. When Snape saw her, he was so mad. Fuming. She insulted him and he made the branch above her crack and fall. It hit her shoulder and I was so mad at him," Lily said. "I couldn't make myself abandon him though. He had it rough at home. His father wasn't a good person and his mother wasn't always so nice either. And on top of that Petunia hated how he lived in the bad part of town. He was my first wizard friend and I was his first friend... ever."

"Y'know, sometimes I think you are too nice for your own good. And I adore that about you," James said, "but just know that you don't owe anyone anything. You don't owe it to Snape to be his friend because he was the first wizard you met. And you don't owe it to me to be my friend, just because I stuck up for you one time."

"Don't say that," Lily said looking at him sternly, "You know you are my friend. A better friend than Severus ever was. And for the record, I don't owe you anything. Nor you I. We are friends and I'm glad you are here with me." She watched the corners of James' mouth turn up into a smile.

"Okay wonderful," he said.

"I'm sorry. This is probably all terribly boring to you," Lily apologised, wiping her tears.

"No, I'm glad you told me. I think I understand why you were insistent on being his friend even when he didn't deserve it," James said swallowing his pride, "He was the first person who introduced you to magic and you couldn't imagine him as a bad person because of it." Lily looked at him for a moment, realizing that James had grown so much. Here he was, talking about Severus Snape without looking like he could throttle someone.

"Yeah, I was quite naive. But we both chose our paths. His happened to lead down a darker road and I couldn't do anything to stop him," Lily said. "I tried, I really did."

"But there was nothing that you could do. Sometimes people can only be saved by themselves," James said introspectively.

"Can I ask you something," Lily said after a long pause. She looked up into his eyes, needing an answer.

"Ask away."

"When did you become so mature?" Lily asked, causing James to chuckle, but Lily was serious.

"Me? I'm not convinced I really have. I've just seen more of the bad parts of life, I suppose. But I wouldn't say that I've changed, not really," James said grinning at her, "I think that you only saw the real me when we became friends, because before that I was too big of a prat trying to show off for you."

"Too bad I didn't become your friend sooner," Lily said regretfully.

"I'm just soaking up every moment we have," James told her, squeezing her hand. Lily led him down the street, towards her house. She couldn't help but feel undeniably happy around James. He just made her elated. She knocked on her front door, hearing footsteps bustling. The door swung open to reveal her sister. Her sister with her excessively long neck. Her sister with her glowing smile changing to scowl at the sight of Lily. Her sister who made her feel so inferior.

"Lily," Petunia said with distaste. Her eyes dropped to Lily and James' intertwined hands. The disgust somehow increased tenfold.

"Hey Tuney!" Lily said, using the nickname more out of habit than anything else. "D'you remember James?" Petunia nodded while pursing her lips. She stepped aside allowing the witch and wizard to enter.

"Mum! Dad!" Lily shouted. She ran over to her parents, who she missed dearly. They embraced for a few heartfelt moments before releasing one another. "I missed you guys."

"We missed you too Lilyflower," her dad said putting his arm around his wife. Lily though she saw her father's eyes grow wet with tears.

"You brought James!" her mother exclaimed before hugging James too. Lily watched Petunia do a double take at James' pastel yellow jacket. Lily suppressed her giggles and looked at her father who was doing the same.

"Mum," Lily said, "You've gotta let James go." Her mother released James who grinned unblushingly.

"Sorry James. I like your jacket," she said appreciatively. Lily grinned at James.

"S'alright Mrs. Evans-" James promised.

"-Call me Rose."

"Say, Rose, d'you really like my jacket? I wasn't sure if it was too bold," James asked charmingly.

"I love it. Besides, it's Lily's favourite colour," Lily's mother explained, "Back when she was just a little girl she had us repaint her room just that colour."

"Really?" James said with a raised eyebrow, "I'd love to hear more stories about Lily." And her mother was more than happy to oblige in embarrassing Lily, albeit unintentionally, as she theatrically retold the story about how Lily had got sent to the principal's office in third grade for fighting with Bobby O'Clary. James was soaking it all up, probably as payback from all of Lily's conversations with Mrs. Potter over Christmas.

Later on, after they had arrived at the church, just before Petunia began walking down the aisle, James reached for her hand once again in a completely platonic manner and began whispering in her ear.

"I've learnt so much today."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Lily humoured.

"Well for starters, a microwave is rather innovative, just like a Heating Charm, but for Muggles. And your parents are just great fun. But most importantly, I learnt that you are a Marauder at heart," James said with a smirk. "Fighting Bobby O'Clary. Wow. Who knew that you'd turn out to be a Prefect!"

"Oh shove off," she said punching his arm. "And be quiet; it's starting." Lily watched as heads turned to catch a glimpse of the bride. Petunia looked beautiful in her traditional wedding dress. She had her hair pinned up and makeup done by a professional. Her bridesmaids were dressed in a lavender colour. Even though Lily wasn't up there with her or a part of the wedding planning at all, she still knew that this was exactly what Petunia dreamt it would be like. And Lily was overjoyed for her. Her sister was getting married! She almost wanted to cry tears of joy and just for a second forget that Petunia hates her and that her sister is marrying Vernon Dursley. Lily leant on James' shoulder and squeezed his hand. Everything felt natural with him and she knew it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair how she was treating James, but her feelings were too complicated for her to even think about.

Once the ceremony was over, Petunia and Vernon shared their first dance. They were absolutely awful dancers, despite having taken dancing lessons every week since they were engaged. She had to shut James up as he sniggered.

"C'mon let's show them all how to dance," James said dragging her onto the dance floor.

"You better not step on my shoes, Potter," Lily warned lovingly.

"You'll find that I'm actually a wonderful dancer," James informed her. The music started and James, as he proclaimed, was a great dancer. He moved so fluidly and sensually, that Lily could barely catch her breath. She didn't even realize that everyone else had stopped dancing to watch them. Everyone was as immersed in the way James and Lily moved together as they were. When the song ended James kissed her hand and pulled her in close. They stood there swaying together, Lily with her head in his chest and James resting his head on top of hers.

"Told you I wasn't a bad dancer."

"I suppose, but not better than me," she teased. She was staring into James' eyes when a camera snapped from the side. They both turned in surprise to see the wedding photographer taking pictures of them.

"Lovely, lovely," the photographer muttered as he looked at the picture, "So young and in love." Lily felt herself blush and she dropped James' hands from her own. She saw Petunia storming over.

"What did you think you were doing!?" Petunia screamed.

"Calm down Tuney," Lily said, "What did I do?"

"You- you were stealing the spotlight on my wedding day!" she complained.

"Me!? We were only dancing," Lily said.

"Yeah but the whole damn place couldn't help but stare at the perfect Lily Evans and her perfect boyfriend," Petunia said bitterly. Petunia glared at James, so Lily gestured for James to go get drinks. Lily saw everyone staring once more, so she dragged Petunia out to the hall.

"Look, I'm sorry that I'm the cause of you being upset on your wedding day, but I'm honestly not trying to steal your spotlight. We were only dancing," Lily said not wanting to start a fight.

"'Only dancing' God how dimwitted are you!? Why do you think I didn't want you to be here today? I didn't want you to show up with your perfect hair and dress and boyfriend. Just being obliviously happy," Petunia snarled.

"I'm anything but perfect. For God's sake you call me a freak every 10 minutes. And for the record James isn't my boyfriend," Lily said, frowning.

"Well if I didn't call you a freak then no one else would! And I couldn't- I couldn't let that happen," Petunia explained. And it sounded awfully familiar compared to what she used to say to James. "And don't try and pretend you aren't dating that boy. The way you look at each other, I swear you're in love already." Petunia was shaking her head and scowling fiercely.

"We are just friends," Lily said weakly. Then she realized that wasn't important at the moment, "Tuney, I'm sorry. I want your day to be perfect. And if that required me to leave then so be it. Today is your day." Petunia didn't say anything for awhile. She just stared at her younger sister blankly. Lily opened her arms for a hug, knowing that it would probably end badly, but Petunia accepted her hug. They stood there hugging for a few minutes not saying anything at all. They were only interrupted when the photographer snuck up from behind and snapped a picture of the two sisters. That seemed to wake Petunia up and she jumped back from Lily's arms.

"You should go," Petunia said quietly. "I told Vernon about what you are and- and he wants you gone too." She just wanted her sister to be happy today.

"Alright then. Goodbye," Lily said. Petunia nodded, then returned to her wedding party. Lily felt drained, she slumped against the wall. She wanted nothing more than for James to come running around the corner and just being there for her. But he was still inside the party, a party where Lily was no longer welcome. Lily found her hands playing with her necklace. She fingered the green emerald, remembering James' sweet gift. And suddenly she knew how to find him. She held down on the beautiful green gem, hoping that James was wearing his matching one. She released the necklace and waited. She waited for the boy that plagued her dreams. The boy whose smile was the thing she thought of before falling asleep. The boy who she used to think she hated, but now never could. The boy who turned into a man before her eyes.

"Lily!" James shouted as he stumbled around the corner. He had one hand on his wand. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay. I'm fine, James," she assured. He instantly looked relieved. But he seemed a bit off. "Are you drunk?"

"Drunk? Me?" he said as if she was crazy, "Well maybe a bit. All these girls kept pining after me to dance and they kept giving me tons of drinks. And you were right Tigerlily."

"You'll have to specify, I'm right most of the time," Lily joked. He laughed with her.

"Muggle drinks are much stronger than ours. It's good stuff, I must say," James said.

"I'd say that we should Apparate, but I'd hate for you to get Splinched since your drunk," she told him. "And I've never tried to Side-Apparate someone with me."

"Can you use the Muggle car?" James asked.

"No I never learnt how and besides, my parents need that car to get home. I suppose we could call the Knight Bus," Lily offered. She had never ridden it, but Marlene had once and apparently it hadn't been a good experience.

"Oh I know!" James said. He pulled his mirror out of his pocket and 'called' Sirius.

"Hey James," Sirius said sulkily.

"Oi Padfoot. Fancy picking us up in your motorbike?" James asked. Instantly Sirius' face lit up.

"Yeah! I'll be right there. Wait- where's the wedding?" Sirius asked slowing down for a second.

"Cokeworth, England. You'll be able to see the church from above," James told him.

"Alright Prongs. I'll be there in twenty minutes," Sirius promised. He was as excited as a child on Christmas. Sirius disconnected the call and probably rushed off to his motorbike. Lily sat there in disbelief for a moment.

"You know how to get out of just about anything, don't you?" Lily asked.

"'Course I do," he said. "And Sirius really needed the pick-me-up right now. I'm not even sure if he's still upset over Marlene or maybe something with his family..."

"Probably a mix of everything. The war, his family, friends, Marlene. He probably feels like everything is crumbling around him."

"Yeah I hate that feeling," James said making Lily give him a curious look. James saw it and obviously didn't want to talk about it. "Fancy getting an ice cream?"

"Sure..." Lily said frowning. When did James feel like everything was crumbing around him?

"I'm here Prongs!" Sirius shouted from the mirror in James' pocket, "I'm parked around the back of the church." The two magical teens filed out of the ice cream parlour and crossed the street back to the church. They went to the back car park, as instructed, and there it was. A large black motorcycle complete with a sidecar. Sirius sat in the front seat with his usual casual elegance. He even had a leather riding jacket over a black and gold T-shirt to complete the look. It really suited him well.

"Thanks for coming mate," James said hugging his best mate. Sirius happily returned the hug. Then proceeding to show Lily every little thing about his motorcycle. You could tell how much he likes his bike.

"That's great and all, but how is it going to fit three people?" Lily asked.

"We're wizards, aren't we?" Sirius said with a chuckle. he pointed his wand at the vehicle and expanded the sidecar to fit two people. "It might be a bit tight, but I'm sure James won't mind the close quarters." Sirius smirked at Lily, whose face turned bright red.

"D'you mind if I change out of this? It's so bloody hot out here," James said tugging on his jacket. Sirius jumped up and rushed to his vehicle.

"I have just the thing!"

"I was just gonna transfigure it into something a bit more comfortable-"

"Rubbish. You'll wear this," Sirius said grabbing a T-shirt matching his own out of his bag. It had a large golden emblem on it. James shrugged and took his jacket off. Then his shirt and Lily realized she was staring. She spun around so fast, praying to God that James didn't see her staring at his physique.

"You can turn back around Lily," James said chuckling with Sirius. The shirt fit snugly around his torso making Lily gulp.

"Alright then. Let's go," Lily told the boys quickly. She hopped into the sidecar. James and Sirius both got in as well. Lily heard the kick start rev up and the engine didn't pur or hum, it roared. Loudly too. She saw the exhaust floating above their heads. And then it took off. Way faster than any Muggle motorcycle should. And it was rather silly of her to assume that Sirius wouldn't enchant it. She had figured he did it out of spite because of his family, but soon enough realized her mistake when the bike took to the air.

"Whoa!" Lily said, clinging to James' back, her arms snaked around his waist. They weren't that high off the ground, but with the speed they were going, it was incredibly scary at first. She wasn't usually scared of things like this, but it took her by surprise. She heard Sirius and James guffawing and she felt herself loosen up. Her nails had been digging into James' shoulders and she felt bad. So instead she moved her arms around his waist.

"Oi Prongs! Ima head back down to the ground? I see some Muggle Aurors up ahead," Sirius shouted with a mischievous grin. They touched the ground smoothly and proceeded to speed down the street.

"Lily! Put this on!" James said handing her a cloak. Lily threw the cloak around her, remembering this is his Invisibility Cloak. He was protecting her from the 'Muggle Aurors' as Sirius had called them. The smile dropped from her face as Sirius made a sharp turn. And at the speed that they were going, in any regular vehicle the passengers would be sure to fall off, but Sirius was a good driver. Both James and Lily stayed on the motorcycle and they drove right past two very startled police officers. Lily watched the taller officer put the sirens on the top of the car. And for about fifteen minutes the cops chased the two wizards and one witch. Lily hadn't heard either of them so happy in a while. Then Sirius made another very sharp turn causing the police car, that was on their tail, to slam on it's breaks. Lily hoped that Sirius knew what he was doing, because they were heading down a dead end. The police car tried to drive through the alley as the motorcycle had, but it couldn't fit. The paint was chipped off a good portion of the side of the car. The two officers exited the car looking disgruntled. The bigger of the two men had much difficulty squeezing past the car. Buttons flew off his shirt and his pants ripped on the car mirror. They inched their way past the car in a slow agonizing way that was surely an insult to their dignity.

"Get off the bike!" the bigger officer barked. He didn't seem to be in a very forgiving mood as he stared at Sirius with such incredible dislike, as if Sirius had personally offended him somehow. Sirius on the other hand seemed to be enjoying this run in, almost basking in the flashing blue and red lights.

"No helmets! Exceeding the speed limit by– by a considerable amount!" The larger man's face was bright red (threatening purple) with a large vein seeming to throb on his forehead. "Failing to stop for the police!" the man continued to list.

"We'd have loved to stop for a chat," said James, who was trying to implement some of his charm. But for some unknown reason it seemed to work best on women, "only we were trying—"

"Don't get smart! You two are in a heap of trouble!" bellowed the lankier officer. "Names! Now!" Naturally Sirius took a different approach from James'.

"Names!? Er– well, let's see. There's Wilberforce... Bathsheba... Elvendork..." Sirius said keeping a straight face. Lily was stuck between laughing at Sirius' silliness and getting up and slapping him for being cheeky. But she decided to just watch and see how it played out.

"And what's nice about that one is, you can use it for a boy or a girl," James played along with Sirius. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Oh, OUR names, did you mean?" asked Sirius "You should've said! This here is James Potter, and I'm Sirius Black!"

"Things'll be seriously black for you in a minute, you cheeky little—" the lanky officer sputtered, although he seemed impressed with his wit. Bu LIly saw her two friends look suddenly rigid. Their eyes were trained to the sky that was suddenly much darker. James and Sirius both reached to their back pockets and brandished their wands, searching the skies to locate who ever was up there.

"Drumsticks? Right pair of jokers, aren't you? Right, we're arresting you on a charge of-" the skinnier officer jeered. Lily would've chuckled if they hadn't seen three cloaked and masked people flying on brooms directly above them. James and Sirius noticed too. They looked at each other and knew what to do.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" James and Sirius said in unison. The cop car was rearing on its back wheels. The Death Eaters had flown low and the car smashed into their brooms at the right time, smashing the brooms to pieces. The Death Eaters slammed to the ground senseless as well, but surely alive. The police officers were in shock. Their heads swivelling from the car to the now empty sky then back to James and Sirius.

"Thanks very much!" Sirius called as the engine roared back to life "We owe you one!"

"Yeah, nice meeting you!" James called over the throb of the engine. "And don't forget: Elvendork! It's unisex!" The boys lowered the police car to the ground causing a loud crash. Lily figured that the boys did that for the dramatic effect as the motorcycle flew out of the alleyway, leaving to very confused Muggles behind with three incapitated Death Eaters.

"What were three Death Eaters doing in Cokeworth?" Lily demanded as she tore the Invisibility Cloak from over her.

"No idea, but that was fun," Sirius cackled.

"Good thinking: Wilderforce, Bathsheba, Elvendork!" James said laughing too.

"This is serious! You both used magic in front of Muggles. And- and we just encountered THREE Death Eaters! In my family's town no less!" Lily pointed out. She wanted them to realize that this wasn't a game. They weren't at school.

"Don't worry Tigerlily, we handled it and no one was hurt," Sirius comforted, "And all of us are of age, so the Ministry can't be mad about it."

"I know but-" Lily began.

"We are ok Lils," James said with a twinkle in his eyes. "We are bringing you home." Lily looked around and James was right. They were passing the large factory in town and winding river. She saw Severus Snape's deteriorating home the overlooked the factory. Then on the other side of town was her own home, with it's lawn in pristine condition.

"S'alright if I set her down on the lawn?" Sirius asked.

"Ok just try to not hit the flower beds, my mother would have a fit," Lily warned. Sirius slowed the bike down and lowered them to the lawn only narrowly missing the flowers.

"Splendid!" Sirius said examining his work, "Didn't even touch the flowers."

"Thanks for picking us up Sirius, my sister kicked James and I out," Lily said gratefully. She saw Sirius' face transform, not to pity but to understanding.

"That's horrible, but I get it. I just recently got kicked out of my Uncle Alphard's funeral. One of the only decent guys in my family. He left me a load of money too. Split his fortune between me and my cousin Dromeda. I didn't even know him that well. He was cut off the family when I was young. Still I get how it felt being turned away," Sirius said giving Lily a long hug. She could feel his tears seep into her hair for a moment, then he pulled away.

"Yeah," she said unsure what else there was to say. Sirius understood regardlessly. "And James, thanks for coming with me."

"Any time," he said sticking his hands in his pockets. Lily gave him a hug too, shorter than the one with Sirius.

"So I suppose I'll see you back at school next week," Lily said.

"Yeah we'll see you then," James said waving goodbye. The two wizards hopped back onto their magical motorcycle and flew away. James keeping eye contact with her until she couldn't see him anymore.

~James~ Unwanted Reminders

"That's it! We did it," Sirius hollers as they exited the Great Hall. "No more tests!"

"Until next year," Lily added as she walked up to them.

"Ugh don't talk about next year," Marlene groaned as she joined the group. "I don't want to get a job."

"I'm not going to bother with a job. I want to fight!" Sirius announced. James grinned at him they had discussed their plans for after Hogwarts.

"Yeah me too," he added. "Nothing else is worthwhile now."

"Sure but how are we going to do that. Don't you have to be in the Ministry, like as an Auror or something?" Marlene asked disheartened. Lily looked at James and Sirius who shook their heads slightly. They all were thinking the same thing.

"You're right. Maybe becoming an Auror wouldn't be so bad," Sirius said. Even though James knew that they could trust Marlene, he also didn't want to break Dumbledore's trust. Especially because James and Sirius Wouldn't even know about The Order if Aberforth hadn't let it slip.

"Don't you need five NEWTs for that though?" Peter piped up, looking shaky. They had just finished their Transfiguration final, which wasn't Peter's best subject.

"Well sure you do, but that doesn't seem hard in the slightest," said Sirius. He didn't seem worried at all about his results. It was almost like he didn't care at all. James also wasn't worrying at the moment, he felt confident about his performance and he couldn't do anything about his grades now.

"For you perhaps, but the rest of us actually work hard in school," Marlene spat at Sirius.

"Hey! I try in school," Sirius defended. "Maybe I just study away from prying eyes. Don't judge me." James watched Marlene open her mouth to retaliate. Just when he thought that they could be civil around one another they had to go and ruin it.

"Both of you stop it now," Remus said annoyed. He had a very commanding voice when he wanted. "You sound like children. So get over your stupid breakup and just be friends."

"Sorry Remus. Friends?," Marlene said, but Sirius didn't take that approach. He held his head high and kept walking. Marlene scowled at him from behind. And then apparently Lily decided to take care of it herself.

"Sirius! Get back here now!" Lily shouted with a voice as commanding as Remus' had been. Even Sirius turned back in surprise. "Marlene was just making an effort to put everything behind you guys and be friends, but you couldn't swallow your pride for two seconds to let her. And even before that you were bragging about how smart you are and it doesn't matter if it's true, because we all know."

"I wasn't trying to brag, I was just trying to convey that I didn't think five NEWT's would be hard. My personal opinion only. And for the record no one can force me to be her friend," Sirius said pointing at Marlene.

"Alright then can you at least stop fighting?" James asked. Sirius gave James a look that said, 'if I must'

"We'll stop fighting," Marlene promised. Although she gave Sirius a scathing look.

"Good," Remus said looking surprised at himself. The group walked in silence for a bit.

"Let's go in the lake," Lily offered excitedly.

"But isn't that breaking some school rule?" James asked grinning.

"Honestly James, I'd figure with all the maraudering you do that you'd have the rules memorized by heart," Lily sighed, "'Swimming in the Black Lake is prohibited without faculty or Prefect supervision.' And Remus and I are both Prefects."

"Nice one Lily," Sirius said high-fiving her.

"Well none of us have bathing suits," Peter pointed out.

"Guys, I won't judge you if you don't have the guts to go swimming in the Black Lake," Lily teased. She kicked her shoes and socks off, then took off her robes. James then did the same. He rushed to kick his shoes and socks as well as his robes. He raced towards Lily who was now running towards the lake. James caught up to her and his arms seemed to have a mind of their own. He scooped Lily up into his arms, leaving their faces very close together. And for a tantalizing moment her eyes fluttered closed, as if she awaited his lips, but that was probably a figment of his imagination. He didn't want to ruin anything between them, so he ran to the shoreline of the Black Lake and threw her as far as he could.

"You are so dead, Potter!" Lily screamed. Her entire body was soaked. "Tarantallegra." James' feet started to tap dance against his will. He couldn't do anything but watch Lily laugh.

"Hey set me back," James begged as he laughed.

"Not yet. Aqua Eructo!" she said pointing her wand at James, which then thoroughly soaked him as well.

"Are you two lovebirds done over there?" Sirius asked grinning.

"Yeah. Finite," Lily said fixing James' dancing legs. His eyes widened when Lily didn't correct Sirius, but it probably meant nothing. He tried to meet Lily's eyes but she wouldn't look up.

"I can't believe you just did that Lily," Marlene said laughing.

"I can't believe you didn't go in yet," Lily countered. She made eye contact with James and grinned. He whipped out his wand just as Lily did. James levitated Sirius while Lily levitated Marlene. He heard Marlene's scream and Sirius yelp as they hovered directly over the water. Remus and Peter behind them couldn't stop laughing.

"Put me down!" Sirius screamed at them. James smirked.

"Certainly," James said. He flicked his wand and Sirius dropped into the lake. Sirius popped up immediately and levitated Remus over and dropped him even deeper in the lake. Lily gently placed Marlene at the edge of the lake.

"C'mon Lily that's weak," Sirius joked. James had laughed until he saw Lily looking suddenly sick.

"Lily, what's wrong?" James asked gently. He grazed her arm with his hand, but he felt her flinch from his touch. And suddenly he felt bad too. Was she mad at him?

"I need to go," she said before turning and walking back up to the school. She didn't even bother using a spell to dry herself off, so water dripped from her clothes as she walked away. James looked back to his friends who had all stopped laughing and splashing each other too.

"I should go-" James said.

"No you shouldn't. I'll go," Marlene said forcefully.

"Did I do something?" he asked crestfallen.

"I'll talk to her and figure this out," Marlene assured him. She took off towards the castle following in Lily's footsteps. James sat down with his feet in the water, as his friends all came over.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said genuinely.

"I don't know what I did. We were all laughing and joking then she put Marlene down instead off in the lake. And when I touched her arm she froze, like- like she was scared of me or something," James pouted.

"You really don't know?" Remus said looking pained.

"Obviously not Moony. But it'd be nice if you'd bless me with your wisdom," James quipped. Remus only raised his eyebrows, "Sorry Moony."

"She isn't scared of you, Prongs. She was just reminded, and eerily so, about what happened last year with Snape," Remus explained. But the other Marauders didn't seem to understand.

"Why would this remind her of Snape?" James said, finally remembering the incident last year.

"Well it was almost the same exact time and it involved you holding someone up in the air against their will," Remus said shrugging.

"But she was doing it too and Sirius and Marlene knew we were joking. If it was really bothering Sirius then I would've put him down," James defended. He jumped up and ran his hands through his hair.

"But you have to remember how the two of you used to be enemies and that day changed everything."

"How? She probably hates me again," James told them frustrated, "She flinched when I touched her. Like we were strangers or something."

"I promise you she doesn't hate you, never has as far as I can tell. And if you can't see what's right in front of you I'm not going to tell you," Remus said, shaking his head. "I should go find Emmeline." And then Remus was gone too, leaving James soaking wet with Sirius and Peter.

"What am I missing?" James wondered to himself.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Beginnings and Endings All Over Again

"It was just the look on his face. It was just like last year," Lily said, still shivering from the cold lake water.

"But it's completely different, Lils. You guys are practically best friends now. I mean he went to your sister's wedding with you. And I'll admit that it did resemble the whole Snape incident last year, but you can't hold that over James' head anymore. You forgave him for it and became his friend," Marlene reminded her. She felt immediately guilty.

"I know, I'm not mad at him or anything. I just think that... well I might fancy him or something. But then today it reminded me so much of who he used to be: a bully. And I know it isn't fair of me to be mad at him, but I'm scared. Everything has changed so much in a year," Lily said trembling. She watched Marlene's face, full of surprise and shock.

"You fancy him?" Marlene said slowly.

"Yeah I do."

"And you're scared that he might become a bully again?" Marlene asked again.

"No... no that isn't it. I know he's a good person and he wouldn't hurt someone unless they deserve it. The thing is that I feel like if I admit my feelings to him, then there is no backing out. Then it's real and I'll be committed. Not that I'd want to back out, but I feel like there is so much pressure to stay the way I have always been, but that isn't fair to him. He would do anything for me. I know it probably doesn't make any sense," Lily did her best to explain.

"No I think I get it. It wasn't so much that you are mad that he was a bully, but that it reminded you of his old self today, even though everything has changed. Now he'd lay his life down for you and you are scared of feeling the same way. Right?" Marlene said. Lily nodded and Marlene pulled her into a hug.

"What do I do?" Lily asked, sounding young.

"All I know is that you have to talk to him. He thinks he did something wrong and he's terrified that you hate him," Marlene said.

"Right, but I think you should talk to Sirius too." Lily stood up. Marlene began to protest, but Lily silenced her, "It's like what James said. You have to explain it to him."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, we'll go over there together," Lily said pulling Marlene towards the door.

"You know, I like giving advice much more than receiving it," Marlene said dryly. Lily snorted.

"Yeah, same here," Lily chuckled. The two girls walked up the stairs to the boys dormitory. Lily knocked lightly and almost immediately the door swung open. Remus stood there, with a calm anger on his face. She saw Emmeline sitting on the edge of one of the boy's beds, angry tears streaming down her face.

"Are they what you're hiding from me? Meeting up with my dormmates? Huh?" Emmeline demanded.

"I'm not hiding anything from you," he insisted.

"Then where are you sneaking out to all the time!?" Emmeline demanded.

"I'm not," he said weaker this time.

"Don't lie, Remus. Something is going on with you. Just tell me," Emmeline said. She seemed sad now. Pleading. "Please?"

"I- I can't."

"But you are hiding something from me. I knew it," Emmeline shrieked. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, "Tell me you aren't meeting up with my dormmates at night."

"No he is not. God no," Lily said.

"Really Lily? Because I remember you saying that Remus was your best looking friend," Emmeline spat, as she cried.

"I was only teasing Sirius when I said that. Besides we would never do that to you," Lily defended herself. Emmeline only scoffed to herself and Marlene and Lily looked worriedly to Remus.

"Can I help you guys?" Remus asked, sounding tired. From the look in his eyes, she knew that Remus was wishing he was anywhere else.

"Um yeah. We were looking for Sirius and James," Marlene asked.

"I think Sirius went to the kitchen and James was in the Common Room," Remus said. The two girls thanked him, before quickly escaping out the door. Lily felt horrible about Remus' predicament. She knew that Remus knew his relationship would end this way. And the only way to save it was for Remus to tell Emmeline that he's a werewolf, otherwise she'd never be able to trust him. But the downside was that she might be absolutely terrified about him and leak his secret or get him expelled. So yeah, you could say Remus was in a pickle.

"I feel so bad for him," Marlene whispered to Lily as they went back down the stairs.

"Yeah, but I'm sure they will get through it," Lily reassured, but she wasn't sure herself, "Now we should probably split up. I'll go talk to James in the Common Room and you go find Sirius in wherever the kitchen is."

"Yeah, I'll see you in the dormitory after," Marlene said.

"Bye." Lily walked over to the same couch where James had sat a few weeks before. Once again he sat there, sitting next to small rosy cheeked Hestia Jones, who was giggling at one of his jokes. Lily came over and sat to the right of James.

"Hey," she said quietly. His head shot up, looking hopeful and angry and confused all at the same time.

"Lily," James said.

"Um Hestia, would you mind giving James and I a moment. I just need to talk to him," Lily asked the girl. Hestia looked up at her tutor and smiled before going over to one of her friends.

"I'm sorry James," she said, not sure what to say. "I wasn't mad at you, I just- I just got confused. It just reminded me about how different everything used to be between us and how everything is changing even more. And I'm sorry James, you didn't deserve it... any of it. And I haven't been fair to you. I have relied on you and I shouldn't have. I don't want to manipulate your emotions or do anything of the sort. Everything is just falling apart and I'd really like it if you and I didn't. So I'm sorry." Lily was doing her best to try and stop her tears from streaming down her face. And her words came out all at once. She couldn't bring herself to tell him she fancied him, not yet. She didn't want to manipulate him. And she wasn't even sure of his reaction, but she didn't expect laughter. His large crooked grin forming and him guffawing as he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm just glad you don't hate me," James said, still grinning. His laughter was so contagious that she giggled a bit too.

"I could never hate you James Potter," Lily promised him. His grin fell for a second, and he stared at her lips. She wanted nothing more than to lean forward and press her lips onto his. Lily gulped as neither one of them moved. And this time, Lily had no intention of moving. He glanced back to her eyes then pulled away. They sat there for a few moments, neither wanting to address their little moment.

"I should probably go find Marlene. I sent her to go talk to Sirius and settle their issues," Lily told James, who nodded. "So I'll see you later."

"Yeah. See you," James replied. Lily hurried out of the Common Room. She knew that Marlene and her had agreed to meet in the Common Room, but Lily needed to get out of there. She would find Marlene on her own.

And Lily sure did find them. Although she definitely heard them before she saw them.

"You absolute buffoon! How could you be so heartless!?" Lily heard Marlene shout from around the corner.

"Dunno, I think it runs in my family." Sirius replied dryly, as if it didn't bother him in the slightest.

"You are a callous prick!" she continued to yell, "How can you just act like you don't care. You- you were moping about for weeks and now you feel nothing? Yell or shout or do something!"

"I'm not going to shout at you," Sirius said calmly. "Nor will I be yelling."

"Why not?" Marlene demanded, "Surely I deserve it."

"Well to be quite honest: I am over you," Sirius said with a shrug. Lily hid behind the corner, watching and waiting.

"Over me?" Marlene said. Her voice sounded like her heart broke. Not just broke, but shattered into a million pieces at the sound of those four words. And Lily's heart was tugged at for her.

"Yes. As you said I was moping for weeks, so I decided that that was stupid. Why should I be sad about someone who had made it perfectly clear that they didn't like me. They didn't like me so much that they decided to break up with me three times without an explanation," Sirius explained coolly, "So yes Marlene, I am over you. And I am not going to jump back into a relationship with you just because you realized that you were in the wrong here. I'm done with you." His voice had an odd finality to it. Lily wasn't sure if she wanted to hug Sirius or Marlene more.

"Wait Sirius," Marlene said quietly, "I'm sorry." Lily didn't hear him respond to her, just dead silence.

"Okay. Well I better get going, I have to pack," Sirius said without a hint of emotion.

"I'm sorry I broke up with you. And it hurts me to see you so emotionless and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to get in the way of your happiness," Marlene explained.

"I'm not sad about it anymore Marls. I'm over it," Sirius said.

"But you aren't happy. Just because you aren't sad doesn't make you happy. I don't want our mess of a relationship to get in the way of you finding a better person for you. Someone who isn't so messed up," Marlene told him.

"There isn't anyone better for me, because I'm messed up too. So I've decided that dating isn't my thing. And I'm perfectly content about it, so you don't have to feel guilty. Okay?" Sirius asked.

"Alright."

"But we still aren't friends. I can't do that," Sirius said. "Not yet."

"I understand," Marlene whispered, as Sirius walked away. Lily heard Marlene's sobs begin to arise. Lily ran around the corner to comfort her friend. Marlene was holding her hand in her hands on the floor, a sight Lily had never seen before. Marlene had always been the strong one, the one who powered through her heartache. Even with her mum's death, Marlene tried her best to not let her friends see her crying.

"Oh Marls, it's going to be ok," Lily promised, pulling her friend into a hug.

"No it won't, I'm a horrible person. I didn't just break up with him, I've broken him," Marlene sobbed.

"He'll be okay. He's strong and he's got some really great friends to help him," Lily reassured Marlene.

"I told him that I'd be willing to try again, but he said he didn't feel anything for me anymore. He rejected me and I don't even blame him," Marlene told her. "James was right, I toyed with his heart even if I didn't mean to."

"Hey, you had a lot going on and you apologised for it and that's all you can do," Lily said.

"I messed it all up, Lily. Why don't you understand that!" Marlene cried.

"I do understand. But there is nothing more you can do now. You have to let him have his space and you need to heal yourself too." Lily hugged Marlene harder. She wanted to make sure her friend knew that she wasn't alone.

"What if he doesn't let himself be in a healthy relationship ever again? He said he gave up dating." Marlene asked scared.

"But he also said that you shouldn't be guilty about it either, Marls. He didn't date anyone before he met you and maybe that is what works for him," Lily said.

"But it's all my fault," Marlene pouted again.

"Stop this. Stop now! This isn't the Marlene I know. You are drowning in self-pity and tears and that isn't you. Sirius is an adult, as are you. So stop acting like he can't handle a break up that took place over a month ago," Lily said firmly. Marlene stared at her with wide eyes, "Now lets go back to our room, because we need to get all our things ready for the train tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Now let's go." Lily helped Marlene off the floor and the two girls walked back to Gryffindor Tower.

~James~ The Other Guy

"What do you mean she can't come next week?" James asked, slightly upset.

"Her parents dragged her and her sister onto a three week cruise. Lily said that they surprised them yesterday and they left this morning," Marlene said, "She told me to tell you that she was sorry she couldn't make it. Her parents wouldn't let her or Petunia skip."

"What's a cruise?" James said perplexed. Probably just some muggle thing, James thought.

"Lily said that it was a large vacation boat. I dunno how it works," Marlene said.

"This sucks," James said to Marlene.

"Yeah, but you still have Sirius, Remus, and Peter," Marlene said positively.

"And you," James reminded her. She shot him an apologetic glance. "You aren't coming, are you?"

"Well I was going to, but now that Lily isn't coming... and Sirius made it clear that we were not friends. So I figured I'd probably just hang out with Mary and Dorcas or something.

"Don't not come on Padfoot's account. He wouldn't mind your presence," James said.

"James I appreciate it, but I'm the only one that he wouldn't show his new flat to. And I promised the girls that I'd hang out with them soon anyway," Marlene said.

"Fine, but when is Lily getting back?" James pouted.

"I told you the cruise ended in three weeks. But why don't you owl her if you want to know more," Marlene grumbled. The familiar crack of apparation occurred just outside James' room. James looked down to see Sirius waving up at him.

"Is that Sirius?" Marlene asked, sounding weak.

"Yeah. When did he get a man bun?" James asked chuckling. He watched Sirius run over to the front door to let himself inside. James looked back over to Marlene who looked slightly pale.

"I'd better be heading out. I promised my brother that I'd teach him how to play Chaser. He's really set on making the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team now that he's a third year. So I'd best be going," Marlene rambled. James heard the door open, revealing Sirius and his new man bun. James smiled at his friend, who only had eyes for Marlene. Her face was bright red and Sirius' intense gaze was unrelenting.

"Hey Padfoot," James said, trying to break the silence.

"Prongs," Sirius said, still staring at Marlene.

"Well I shall go. Nice to see you James. Sirius," Marlene said before she walked past Sirius. James heard another loud crack outside. He looked over to see Remus walking up to his front door. When James turned back around Marlene was gone.

"Is it always going to be so awkward around you two?"

"I told you that I'm not being her friend. And why are you so upset?" Sirius asked him.

"Lily isn't coming on holiday with us all."

"Really, why not?"

"Off on a cruise with her family. Marlene said that her parents wouldn't let her miss it," James said. He watched Sirius flinch when he said Marlene. "And now Marlene isn't coming because without Lily there it will be even more awkward with you two."

"Sorry mate. That's bad luck," Sirius said. He sat down next to James as Remus entered.

"Hey Moony," James said.

"Why d'you two look so down?" Remus asked.

"Lily can't make it on holiday with us," Sirius responded for James. "She's off on holiday with her family. On one of those vacation boats."

"Why don't you go visit her. I mean she probably isn't enjoying being holed up on a boat with her sister. You should go Apparate on board and say hello," Remus proposed.

"I can't, because I don't know where on Earth that boat is. And it's moving so I'd have to time my destination perfectly. And she didn't even write me yet this summer, so she probably doesn't want to see me," James said.

"Rubbish. I doubt that she doesn't want to see you. And have you written to her?" Remus asked.

"Well no-"

"Then go send her a letter, Prongs. Don't be daft. The rest of us lost out on the Gryffindor girls. You're the only one with a chance left," Remus said. He seemed to be taking his breakup with Emmeline well, although James knew better. Remus was just trying to not burden anyone else with his feelings, but James figured that Remus was hurting too.

"I dunno, I'd say Wormy has got a better chance with Dorcas than James does with Lily," Sirius joked.

"Ignore him Prongs," Remus said. Then he turned to Sirius, "Peter's with Joanne anyways."

"Right right, forgot about the little Hufflepuff," Sirius remembered. "I'm surprised ickle Petey could keep a bird around this long." Sirius smirked to himself.

"You're just mad he's got a girlfriend and you don't."

"Yeah? I don't see you with one either." Sirius and Remus bickered back and forth. James tuned them out as he thought.

"I'll just go write her then," James grumbled. He scrawled out a few lines and cordially signed his name, then he attached the letter to his owl, Hermes. Hermes flew out of his window and soon he was but a dot in the wind. Sirius and Remus stopped fighting.

"Now the more important matter is regarding Padfoot's hair," Remus smirked. Sirius' hands flew to his hair and he grinned.

"You like?" Sirius said.

"Gorgeous. Absolutely spiffing. I wouldn't be surprised if girls swooned at your sight. Guys too," Remus deadpanned. Sirius somehow ignored the sarcasm and took it in stride.

"Yeah I thought so too. My landlord has his hair in the same style, he said that he thought it'd look good on me. And, who was he kidding, of course it'd look good on me," Sirius recalled with a boyish grin.

"As much as we'd all love to hear about your hair, I'd like to know where Wormtail is. Wasn't he supposed to be here by now?" James asked annoyed. It felt like his friends were ditching him left and right.

"Yeah I owled him and he said his mum wouldn't let him go out tonight. Y'know how she gets overprotective about him ever since what happened to his dad..." Remus trailed off.

"Obviously that was hard on them and all, but Wormy's dad died from Dragon Pox. It isn't like a seventeen year old wizard is about to contract a fatal case of Dragon Pox," Sirius said.

"I know, but Peter is all that Mrs. Pettigrew has left, and the world isn't exactly safe right now. And Peter said that his mum just got laid off from her job in Diagon Alley, because the shop closed down. So now they have no income," Remus told the two boys.

"That's horrible," James said, "I had no idea about her losing her job. What if we went over to Peter's house instead. That way he can still see us without having to worry his mum." The three boys all looked at each other and agreed.

"Alright let's go," Remus said before Apparating with a loud crack. James and Sirius both followed him.

They walked up the cracked walkway, with weeds all throughout it, up to the small cottage that Peter Pettigrew called home. The Marauders had only been outside Peter's house, never inside. So they were a bit nervous as they knocked on the door.

"Who are you?" Peter's mum asked, her eyes squinting suspiciously at them. James put on his most charming grin, assuming Sirius and Remus were doing the same. Her body blocked the doorway, so they couldn't see behind her. She had the same watery blue eyes that Peter did and the same colour of straw coloured hair, except hers was much grayer.

"It's Peter's friends. I'm James Potter and this is Sirius and Remus," James reminded the woman. They had met before, however brief, but James thought that she should at least remember them.

"Potter ya say..." she seemed comforted by the fact that James was a Potter, "An' what're your surnames? Are ya pureblood?"

"Black. Sirius Black," Sirius mumbled unhappily. He despised his surname, but Mrs. Pettigrew most definitely didn't. A scraggly grin grew on her face as she took in Sirius' words.

"And I'm Remus Lupin, halfblood," he said, standing a bit taller, trying to compensate himself it seemed. Peter's mum's smile fell slightly at the halfblood comment, but she ushered them in all the same.

"I didn't know my Petey's so popular, he just had some friends over before. How lovely," Mrs. Pettigrew said with pride glowing on her wrinkled face. The boys looked at each other in confusion. Who else would Peter have over? It isn't like the Marauders couldn't have other friends, but they didn't have many other close friends. They had each other and that had always been more than enough.

"Who was here?" James asked.

"Oh I dunno their names, my mem'ry isn't what it used to be, but they were good boys. Purebloods," she said happily, "An' Petey's jus' in his room." James thanked Mrs. Pettigrew and walked back towards a room that appeared to be Peter's.

"Wormtail?" he said. The floorboards creaked beneath his feet.

"Prongs?" Peter said sounding scared. James creaked the door open. "What're you guys doin' here!?"

"Remus said your mum wouldn't let you go out, so we came over instead," James said.

"Oh well thanks," Peter said, his eyes glued on the windows.

"Expecting someone, Wormy?" Sirius asked with a cold voice. James knew Sirius hated what Mrs. Pettigrew had said to them. "Perhaps your good Pureblood buddies?" Peter turned to them, his eyes dropping to the floor, and he spoke.

"No, no, I'm jus' not feeling so good today and Joanne's brothers came over to tell me that she isn't able to hang out tommorow," Peter said quickly. If James hadn't known better, than he'd say that Peter was lying. But why would Peter of all people have to lie to his best friends.

"We can go if you'd like. We just thought you'd like to see us," James said.

"If it isn't too much trouble. I feel bad that you came all the way out here..." Peter trailed off, his eyes returned to the window.

"Not an issue, Wormy. We'll get out of your hair," Sirius said, sounding much more pleasant. "Feel better."

"Thanks mate," Peter said, before falling back onto his bed. Sirius, Remus, and James all Apparated back home. Not thinking twice about their visit. They had some fun things planned anyways.

Dear James,

It was lovely to hear from you and I apologise for not being able to make it to your beach house next week. It truly sounds like it'd be a smashing time and I hope you all enjoy yourselves. Unfortunately I am stuck with Tuney on a boat for a few weeks. A very luxurious boat, but a confined space no less. There is truly only so far I can go without seeing her. I was going mad with boredom the first few days until this morning when I met a wonderful lad from Durmstrang. He's a delightful guy and the prospects of the trip are already looking up. You'd like him a lot. He sort of reminds me of Remus. Tomorrow afternoon we are docking in Athens and Gregor and I are going to explore the Parthenon (turns out he loves Muggle history too) and I am very excited!

With love,

Lily

P.S. I'm hoping we see a Chimera! Fingers crossed!

James read and reread her letter, hoping that it would make him a bit closer to her. And each time he read it he felt a pang of jealousy when she mentioned her new friend, Gregor from Durmstrang. It wasn't fair that she was off frolicking with foreign men while James would give anything to spend three weeks with her. He remembered how Remus said that he should Apparate and visit her, but Greece was a long way away. And James had never Apparated that far of a distance before. Perhaps he should do it anyway and risk Splinching himself. Or maybe he could get a Portkey instead?

"Mum?" James asked.

"Yes," she answered, turning to face her son.

"Say if I, hypothetically of course, wanted to Apparate somewhere rather far away would I be likely to get Splinched?" James went on. His mother raised an eyebrow at him.

"How far are you, hypothetically, saying?"

"Try Greece," James said nonchalantly.

"Greece? What do you want to do there?" Euphemia Potter asked.

"It's hypothetical. My question is do you think I could do it without getting Splinched?" James restated. His mum paused for a moment, torn between answering or demanding why he wants to go to Greece.

"Yes, I think you'd be alright," she said at last. A look of triumph grew on his face.

"Thanks Mum!" he said, jumping in the air. He began to run back up to his room.

"James Fleamont Potter!" his mother shouted. James flinched. He despised his middle name. It was awful and not a good middle name, because it was actually a last name that was turned into a first name for his father. Why anyone would want to pass that name on was beyond James.

"Yes Mum," he said smiling sweetly.

"Why in the name of Merlin do you want to go to Greece? We are going to our beach house just next week," his mother said, sounding tired.

"I, um, I want to visit a friend. And I have to do it today otherwise I might not see her until school starts," James pleaded, "Can I please go, I swear I won't be long."

"I didn't say you couldn't go, just that I wanted to know why you needed to go. I know how much Lily means to you," Mrs. Potter said with a light smile. James was elated, he ran over and gave her a huge hug. Then it dawned on him, he hadn't mentioned Lily at all.

"Mum? How did you know it was about Lily?" James asked confused.

"What other girl would you risk getting Splinched for, only so you could visit her?" she responded. James laughed, suddenly thankful for his mother and how understanding she is.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. "I'll see you later then. Bye Mum."

"I love you. Be safe!"

"Love you too," James responded before rushing upstairs to change into Muggle clothes.

With a loud crack and a slightly nauseous feeling, James arrived on the Acropolis completely unharmed. He checked his watch and it was 1 o'clock. He hoped he'd be able to catch her and this Gregor bloke before they went inside the Parthenon. His eyes scanned the crowds, hoping he'd catch a glimpse of vivid red hair, but none that matched Lily's. Had he expected to be able to find her that easily? No, but he had hoped he would. So instead of waiting, he decided to head up to the monument himself. And after maybe twenty minutes or so, he found himself chatting with an American tourist named Amanda.

"So... what is it like living in England? I love your accent by the way," Amanda said, batting her eyelashes as she spoke in a mesmerizing sort of way.

"It's alright I guess. I'm not home very often except for summer, Christmas, and Easter holiday. I go to a Boarding school in Scotland, I guess you could call it," James explained to the girl. He was trying his very hardest to talk to her without mentioning any part of his magical life. Boarding School is what his mother always taught him to say if a Muggle asked him where he went to school. And to be as vague as possible.

"Boarding school? Interesting, sounds like an upgrade from my public school. So what are you doing all by yourself in Greece?" she asked. James liked this girl, she seemed nice and easy to talk to even though they had just met.

"Well I came looking to surprise a friend of mine, but I can't find my friend."

"That's horrible. You came all the way out here and you can't even meet up with them," Amanda said.

"Yeah well it's been nice meeting you, so it hasn't been enitrely a waste of a trip," he said smiling at her. A blush grew on her cheeks.

"It's been nice meeting you too, Mr. James Potter. How would you like to exchange phone numbers? Maybe I could visit you over in England some time," Amanda said with an equally charming smile.

"Now I'd love that, except-" James began

"**James**!?" a shout came from behind him. He swung his head around so fast, seeing Lily's red hair spilling out of her braid, strands flying everywhere. She sported a new light tan and some wicked sunglasses.

"**Lily**!" James shouted. She ran over to him practically tackling him as they embraced for several moments. She no longer smelled of strawberries and vanilla, but rather of sunscreen and coconut.

"What the bleeding hell are you doing here?" she asked as she grinned like a maniac. She seemed much more carefree than at school. James couldn't help but grin at her.

"I thought I'd come and surprise you. I didn't want you to be too miserable without me," James joked. A man from behind Lily coughed into his fist, as though to remind her that he was there.

"Oh James, meet Gregor," Lily exclaimed. She dragged Gregor forward to meet James. He extended his hand to James, and they shook hands. Gregor had quite the firm handshake.

"I'm James Potter, a friend of Lily's," James told the Gregor. Gregor sported curly black hair, a scraggly beard, and dark brown eyes.

"Gregor Markov Rusev, also a friend of Lily's," Gregor said with a unnerving stare and a thick accent.

"Nice to meet you Greg, is it alright if I call you Greg?" James asked, smiling at the Bulgarian.

"Zat's vot my friends call me," Gregor said. James wasn't sure if that meant he considered James a friend, or if he was saying not to call him that.

"Lovely, so I hear you like Muggle history, yeah?" James said, slinging his arm around Greg's shoulder.

"Muggle? What's that?" Amanda asked. James froze. He forgot that Amanda was still there.

"Oh, it's just a nickname us Brits have for the Greeks," Lily intervened quickly. James shot Lily an appreciative glance. Who knew that Lily Evans was such a smooth liar.

"Oh." Amanda laughed. "And you must be the friend James came out to surprise," Amanda said to Lily.

"Yeah I suppose I am. I'm Lily Evans," she said, going to for a friendly hug with Amanda.

"Amanda Tanaka," she said, hugging Lily back.

"How do you know James?" Lily asked.

"Oh I met him just now," she replied.

"Nice. We go to school together. And Gregor is a fellow w- I mean he goes to another branch of our boarding school in Bulgaria," Lily said.

"Bulgaria... wow! That's cool," Amanda said. Behind her was a middle aged woman and man waving Amanda over. "Oh that's my parents, I should go."

"Bye Amanda, it was nice meeting you," James told her.

"You too. Oh, before I forget, what do you say about your phone number?" Amanda asked again. James was secretly panicked, he hardly knew what a phone was, much less actually having one. He turned to Lily, hoping she'd know what to do.

"I'm sure he'd love to hear from you again, but at school there aren't any phones," Lily answered.

"Right, yeah we don't have much communication with Mug- with people outside school. Especially not across an ocean," James said nervously. He didn't enjoy lying to people, but he wouldn't want anyone to find out about the Wizarding World either.

"Oh, um well then have fun looking at the Muggle ruins," Amanda said with a smile. James chuckled at her use of the word, although in a technical sense it was still correct.

"Thanks Amanda. See you," James said with a wave. Amanda waved back before returning to her family. Once she was out of listening range James turned to Lily.

"Thanks for covering for me. I'm a horrid liar," James said laughing.

"I didn't know James Potter was bad at anything," Lily smirked.

"Of course I'm bad at things. Like lying and what else... oh I know! Getting Lily Evans to like me," James said laughing again.

"Nope, you checked that off your list eventually," Lily said.

"Damn, now I'm only bad at one thing," James joked, but there was only silence, "So how has the boat been so far? Your sister treating you alright?"

"Yeah, she isn't paying me much mind since Vernon is here. We only had one fight so far. That's basically a record, you should know. I would've been miserable if I didn't meet Gregor," Lily said shooting Gregor an appreciative smile.

"How did you guys meet? And how'd you know he was a wizard?" James wondered. Unless James saw someone doing magic, he'd have no clue they were a wizard. Well unless they wore wizard's clothing or were in a wizarding place.

"Oh well it's an odd story actually," she said, stealing another secret glance with Gregor that made James' heart break a bit. "It was the night I fought with Petunia. It was over something stupid and I had it coming really, the way I was looking for a fight. I was so angry that I was here, especially after the way things ended at the wedding with Tuney and me. And this was probably the first fight we have had where Petunia was in the right. And after I needed fresh air desperately and I started hyperventilating. After like twenty minutes, I was finally able to pull myself together and Gregor sat down next to me, asking if I was alright. And I was wary of him, because I didn't know him, so I started to head back to my room. But I tripped over myself and he came to help me up, but my wand had fallen from my pocket. I tried to hide it and I had got up again and he called for me to wait up. He told me he went to Durmstrang and I was shocked to say the least. And ever since he's been my companion." Her smile brightened as she finished the story. James saw the corners of Gregor's mouth turn up, like he was remembering something pleasant, and it made James want to vomit.

"Wow," James said, trying to not sound disgusted. "I'm glad you haven't been miserable." He tried to force a laugh for her sake, but jealousy shot through his veins.

"Well it's even better now that your here. I want to go see the temple of Zeus. D'you know who Zeus is?" Lily asked excitedly. He shook his head, because he wasn't sure he could control his tongue at the moment. But it didn't turn out to be an issue, because he recovered while Lily gave him a full and detailed explanation about the Greek Gods.

"What's it called? Mythology?" James asked after she finished.

"Yeah, it's intriguing isn't it?" she asked him.

"Yeah, although we can sort of do all the things that the Gods and Goddesses could. Y'know like water powers and growing plants," he pointed out.

"Hardly. Gods are immortal and everlasting. But wizards are just mortals with special powers," Lily told him. James was prepared to argue his point, but he didn't get the opportunity.

"Vell that's the purpose isn't it. The purpose of life, the thing that makes it valuable, is that it ends," Gregor said. It was the first time he spoke more than one sentence.

"So you think we are more powerful than these supposed 'Gods' because we can die?" James asked. He disagreed, but he wanted to hear Gregor out first. This conversation interested him.

"No, I think death gives life meaning and many fear death because it's unknown. I don't think you should fear your purpose. To conquer death, you must stop fearing it. And ve all must die... even Gods," Gregor answered with a grimness. James caught himself holding his breath as Gregor spoke. His words were spoken with an eerie calmness and wisdom.

"That- that was very poetic Gregor," Lily said slowly, like she was replaying his words over and over. Gregor only shrugged and continued walking silently. The three of them walked in silence for awhile, which never really happened to James. He was always engaging in conversation with whoever he was with, but it felt wrong now. Like James was intruding on Lily and Gregor, which he technically was...

"I should get going," James said to Lily as they left the Temple of Zeus.

"Why. You haven't been here too long," Lily said, looking at the sun that was still high in the sky.

"I know, but I..." James thought for a moment, "I just need to get home." She looked at him suspiciously.

"James..." she said nonbelievingly.

"I'll see you at school, okay?" James said.

"Yeah, I'll see you at school," Lily then offered, "but you don't need to leave yet. Or you could come visit me another day too." James stared into her eyes, but he was to say anything.

"Goodbye James," Gregor said, sticking his hand out again. James quickly shook Gregor's hand, before pulling Lily into a hug.

"I'll see you a school, Lily." James stepped out of the hug and waved to her.

"Write to me at least," she asked him, but James only smiled nervously. James apparated away, back to his home. His safe home.

**AN: Thank you for the kind words. And to the people saying this deserves more recognition: Thank you. It means a lot! Please keep reviewing.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ It Should've Been Impossible

Today was her last day aboard the cruise and she had mixed feelings about leaving. Obviously she was excited to go back to school in a few days and see her friends, but she'd miss the boat too. She'd miss Gregor, her new friend from Bulgaria. He was incredibly sweet and the only reason Lily was staying sane on the cruise. Without him there, she'd be stuck with her family for her only company. Her parents would've been fine, but they couldn't understand her like a wizard could. So Gregor has been great for Lily in that respect. And also, when she returns to school in three days, then she'd have to face James. She had had a similar anxiety in past years, but now it was for a completely different reason. Since James came to visit about two weeks ago, he hadn't responded to any of her letters. She wasn't sure what possessed him to leave like that and she sure hoped she hadn't done something to offend him. They almost made it to a full year of friendship, but now he was ignoring her. She couldn't figure out why he was acting like this or what she had done to him and she hated it. She had finally admitted to herself that she fancied him and he now is ignoring her. She missed him and he, seemingly, did not miss her. She was pathetic.

There he was, Gregor Markov Rusev, with his curly dark brown hair, scruffy beard, and deep brown eyes. He stood there, staring at her as she stared at him, until they both started to laugh. Lily walked over to him and hugged him.

"I'm so sad zat ve are leaving," he said.

"Don't worry Gregor. Write to me and I'll write to you. We'll be pen pals," Lily said with a bright smile.

"Promise?"

"I promise." Lily hugged him again. He was much taller than she was, probably the same height as James. Wretched James, why did he always come across her thoughts. She was trying to say goodbye to a dear friend.

"Lily!" her mum called. Lily turned her head. And Gregor squeezed her hand.

"Maybe I can visit you sometime," Lily said, "Or you could visit me?"

"Maybe, but now ve must depart," he said, before kissing her hand and releasing it. Lily beamed at him, picked up her suitcase and returned to family, only looking back once. She really hoped she'd see him again.

"Ready Lilyflower?" her dad asked.

"Yeah, yeah I am," she said. It was time to return home and then soon thereafter, return to school.

Lily genuinely could not believe her eyes. Head Girl, the letter read. Head sodding Girl. She had forgot that Head Girl was being given out this year. She had been preoccupied with her unanswered letters to James Potter and her lovely letters to and from Gregor Rusev. It had been a busy two days since she left the ship. And now she stood there frozen, wanting to shout in glee, but she couldn't. She sat down on her bed, breathing slowly and carefully. Wow, she thought, this is real.

"Lilyflower?" her dad said from out in the hall. Lily gulped.

"Yeah Dad," she said, but her voice was raspy.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Alright."

"What's that you're holding?" he asked.

"Just- just a badge," she said, swallowing again.

"Like your Prefect's badge?"

"Sort of."

"Let me see," he said taking the badge from her hands.

"HG? As in... Head Girl!?" Lily could hear the excitement and joy in his voice.

"Exactly like that Dad." She was amazed by her odd calmness.

"Nice job sweetheart!" he shouted with glee. Well at least someone was able to. "I'm so so proud of you, Lilyflower." There wasn't much about Hogwarts that her parents could relate to, but Head Girl was one of them.

"Thanks. I just- I need to write a letter," Lily said. She scrambled for her quill and a spare piece of parchment.

Dear Marlene and Mary,

I can't wait to see you guys! I have some rather exciting news, I suppose. I got Head Girl! I don't suppose you'd know who the Head Boy is, would you? I hope it's Remus or maybe Benjy. Anyways, I'll be seeing you all tomorrow!

With love,

Lily Evans

Everything was crazy. Her mum insisted they went out to dinner to celebrate. Her dad even let her try his champagne (Lily didn't tell him that drinking underage wasn't an uncommon occurence in the wizarding world). Petunia even gave her a brief yet firm 'Nice job'. Although Lily heard Vernon whisper to Petunia that Lily probably bewitched the teacher to give it to her. And that's when Lily realized that she was suddenly tired of having Vernon around all the time.

But now it was time to go board the train. She was hardly ready, well she had everything packed, but mentally she wasn't ready. Her thoughts plagued her. What if she wasn't a good Head Girl? What if the Head Boy was a lunatic? What if she let everyone down? The night before she couldn't sleep. She wanted more than anything for James to be there to comfort and reassure her, but he wasn't. She had purposely arrived at the train station early so she could have a few minutes to compose herself, but now it seemed like a bad idea. She tried her best to get her trunk up and onto the train compartment, but she had never done it by herself before. There was always either her dad or a strong student there to help her, but not now. So she heaved and heaved, but it wouldn't work. The train was too high and the trunk was too heavy. She would have just levitated it, but she wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school. It was a tricky prediciment. So she waited.

"Need help there?" a voice she'd recognise anywhere lazily asked. Lily turned her head so quick to see him. James. She only stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to do. "Lily?" He walked closer to her. They were still the only people on the platform, the train wouldn't leave for another 45 minutes.

"What the hell James?" she said at last. Her voice carrying the hurt and pain she felt from being ignored. She said to herself the night before that she would be strong when she saw him again, but that didn't seem to be working.

"What?" James said, looking slightly scared.

"You didn't answer any of my letters for over a fortnight. And you left Greece abruptly as if I did something wrong!" Lily said, visibly upset. She was able to reign in her tears. "And now you're here, early no less, acting like nothing happened."

"C'mon Lily-"

"No! Don't do that. You don't get to do that. I deserve an explanation." She wasn't backing down from this one. They both knew. And usually they argued like it was chess. Holding there heads high, not wanting to give any ground, and calculating the win. But things had changed.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Lily. When I was with you and Gregor, I saw the way you looked at him and I knew that I was intruding on you guys. I didn't want to get in your way so I left. And I was a coward by not answering your letters, but I just couldn't bring myself to face you," James said.

"You weren't intruding on anything. I wasn't looking at Gregor in any special way, in fact, Gregor told me I was doing the same thing to you. And the thing was that I looked at Gregor like a friend, but I look at you like something more," Lily said, her heart beating out of her chest. She swallowed, waiting for him to say something.

"You- you look at me- something more? What d'you mean? What does that mean?" he said, catching his breath even though we were standing still. The way Lily saw it, she had two options: 1) she could lean in and kiss him like they both wanted, or 2) she could pull away and say it was nothing.

"You know what I mean James Potter," she breathed. She would let him decide. She was too scared to decide for herself. Imagine that: Lily Evans is a coward.

"Say it. Say it out loud. I need to hear it for sure," he said. Lily's breath caught. She didn't want to say it. If she said it than it'd be real. What if he didn't like her anymore? What if this changed everything?

"James I-" she began. She was so close from saying it, so close from pressing her lips to his. But close doesn't count, not with James and Lily.

"Prongs!" Sirius shouted. Lily and James jumped apart, Lily more than James did. "Was I interrupting something?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at the two of them with a smirk.

"Yes-" James answered, his expression still pressing her for an answer, but she looked away.

"No, Padfoot, James was just helping me with my trunk," Lily said, holding her head high. "Is that- is that a man bun?" Lily stared at Sirius' new hairstyle with wonder.

"Why yes it is, Tigerlily. You like?" he asked.

"It's lovely, truly. Now if the two of you'd help me lift my trunk up, I have somewhere to be," Lily said.

"And where is that, love?" Sirius asked.

"Just the Prefect's Cart," Lily said quickly. She didn't want to come off as pompous.

"You should have Prongs escort you," Sirius said smirking again. James scowled at him like Sirius had misspoke or something.

"Why? He isn't a Prefect." Lily looked from Sirius to James. James was staring at his feet, like he was hoping Lily wouldn't see him. Odd, because James usually enjoyed being seen by Lily.

"Haven't you heard? Dumbledore has officially gone senile! Why haven't told her Prongsy?" Sirius asked.

"He's been ignoring me a bit lately. He's kind of a git," Lily answered for James, "But go on, do tell me."

"Prongs is Head Boy!" Sirius burst out. Lily gulped. She was Head Girl and he was Head Boy. Head Students. Together. All year. Together...

"That is- Nice job James," Lily congratulated him. She saw the badge loosely pinned onto his robes. She must've overlooked it before when she was staring at his stupid lips. Damn.

"'Nice job' Are you crazy! He wasn't even a Prefect. Dumbledore has gone mad!" Sirius laughed. Lily saw the embarrassment in James' eyes and she felt bad for him. There would've been worse people than him to have as Head Boy. She knew that he probably wasn't the best behaved all the time, but he had calmed down a lot.

"No, I think Dumbledore made a good choice. He knew that James and I would work well together. And that James was one of the smartest in the grade. People look up to him and he's a natural leader. I'm happy for you James," Lily said, "Although I'm still mad at you." People started to enter the platform behind them. Lily realized that she should probably start getting on the train.

"Could you please put my luggage on board," Lily asked again.

"Anything for you Tigerlily," Sirius said. She laughed as she boarded the train. She had almost made it to the Prefect's cart when she felt a hand grab her wrist.

"Lily," James said. He spun her around, making her heart speed up. No matter how long they had been friends, she'd never get used to his physical presence.

"What is it?" she asked. His eyes looked a bit mad, like there were too many thoughts in his head and he couldn't figure them all out.

"We need to talk," he said and he wasn't asking.

"Yeah we probably should. Just so you know, Head Boy is a big deal and as much as I think you deserve it, you should know that I'm going to need you to be invested in it. I refuse to do all of our duties by myself," Lily told him. He gave her a blank stare.

"Of course I'm going to help you. But that's irrelevant right now. What did you mean before?" he pressed. Lily pursed her lips, she knew that before was a mistake.

"Nothing James. Can we get started on our Head Duties though. The Prefects will be here soon," Lily said avoiding looking in his eyes. He sighed loudly and agreed.

"Fine." She almost wished that he had pressed the issue. Then maybe she wouldn't feel like she had to brace herself around him.

"So what should we say to the Prefects and how do we want to come off as?" Lily asked him.

"I dunno how these meetings are usually run so why don't you walk me through it."

"Well it'll start off with a general greeting and introducing ourselves. Then we'd say a gist of the standards Prefects should uphold and all that. Then we'll have a meeting in a few nights with the patrolling timetables. But I'm not sure if we are going for the strict rule-abider type thing or a likable leader type thing," Lily rambled, "For example, Edgar was a strict rule abider and to be honest he kind of scared everyone away. But Millie was very relaxed, although she wasn't much of a leader either. Last year Collin and Julie were both quite strict." James' face visibly darkened when she said Edgar.

"Well we wouldn't want to scare them away, would we? So let's just be ourselves. We're both likable. You're stricter than I am, but not oppressively so. And I'm relaxed, but I'm also a hard worker. Lily we're fine as we are."

"Alright then. But I have to warn you that some of the Prefects might not be so kind to us. Me because I'm a Muggleborn and you because you're a Blood Traitor and you weren't a Prefect. So just don't rise up to it," Lily warned him.

"I won't," he promised. They sat there in silence for a bit. She hated the silence between them.

"What classes are you taking for NEWTS?" Lily asked, biting her lip nervously.

"Er- Defence, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Herbology, Arithmancy, and Astrology," James answered, "I dropped History of Magic and Runes." It was an impressive schedule, and extremely similar to her own.

"I've got that too except I'm taking History of Magic over Arithmancy," she said. And the silence fell again.

"So how's Greggy?"

"Please don't be like this, James," she begged. She couldn't handle him and his ego at the moment.

"Like what? I'm just wondering how your foreign friend is doing," James said innocently.

"He's great actually, if you're so interested. He's invited me to visit next summer and I'm excited. Wonderful man, he is. So handsome..." she said her voice dripping in wonder.

"Stop it!" James said.

"Than why did you ask!" she yelled.

"I needed to know how you felt about him. And now I do," he said matter-of-factly.

"Well if you have to be such a prat, then no I don't fancy Gregor, as I said before. I said those things because I knew you were trying to be a git and I wasn't going to let you enjoy it. So stop being so jealous! You don't have the right to be," Lily yelled.

"You don't fancy him?"

"No."

"And you don't look at him like you fancy him?"

"No," she said raising her voice a bit.

"But you look at me like I'm more than a friend," he said. She didn't respond.

"Lily," he insisted, "Tell me."

"I can't," she choked out.

"Please, Lily. I can't handle not knowing," James said quietly. His eyes regarded her tenderly, like he was seeing the world for the first time. Like he was finally allowing himself to hope again. Lily looked up into his eyes, knowing that she just had to be brave. Be brave for ten seconds, she told herself, just do it. Just say it. Three words. C'mon Evans.

"Fine," Lily scowled, "I fancy you." She said those words, while glaring at him. He stood there frozen. She hated him for not doing anything. He could've kissed her or said something. Not to be arrogant, but he made it clear that he still liked her, so why wasn't he doing anything?

"Are you going to say anything or what?" Lily asked him.

"You aren't messing with me right? Padfoot didn't set you up to do this?" James asked, squinting his eyes carefully.

"No, I fancy you alright?"

"Well you can't blame me for asking! I've fancied you since 5th year and you have made it clear that it wasn't gonna happen. So don't glare at me like I've done something wrong!" James shouted. This was going well, Lily thought. They were already fighting.

"You can't blame me for not liking you sooner! In 5th year you tormented my ex-best friend and I don't hold that against you anymore, honestly. And I'm telling you now that I fancy you, take it or leave it," Lily shouted back. James froze again, he opened his mouth to speak again, but he was interrupted. The door swung open, as Prefects piled into the cart. Lily let out the deep breath she didn't know she was holding in and turned away from James' prying eyes. She desperately wanted to finish their conversation, but she had a job to do. James would have to wait.

"Hello everyone! I'm Lily Evans and this is James Potter. We are the Head Students as you may know." Lily heard some scoffs from a Slytherin Prefect that she didn't know.

"Hi, if you have an issue with Lily being Head Girl or me as Head Boy, then feel free to talk to Professor Dumbledore. Otherwise please treat us with respect as we'll treat you. You are Prefects afterall, we expect nothing but exemplery behaviour," James spoke up with a fierce expression. "And I know that I might be an unusual pick for Head Boy, seeing as I wasn't a Prefect, but don't think that I won't be a damn good one." The Prefects were all silent after that, even Lily was a bit unnerved.

"Like James said, we expect good behaviour from you all. The Headmaster entrusted us all with being here and it's important that you all make sure his trust wasn't ill placed. Moving on, as some returning Prefects know, there are multiple duties that Prefects must uphold. For example, there is patrolling duty. Everyone here will have that and we will make a timetable to split it up. Also 5th year Prefects must deliver the first years to their respective Common Rooms after the feast. During school you will be allowed to take points from students who directly break any school rules. We will discuss this further at a later time, for now you all can go patrol the corridors," Lily said to the group. She didn't mind speaking more than James did, because he didn't know how these things worked.

"Thank you all and have a good start of term," James said to the Prefects as they filed out. Remus and Dorcas, the seventh year Gryffindor Prefects, came up to them after the meeting. Dorcas had replaced Lily as Prefect.

"How did we do?" Lily asked them when the room had emptied.

"Great. I loved how you shut that Slytherin down James," Dorcas said with a grin.

"Thanks, I just couldn't let them get away with it now or it'll only get worse," James said, finding Lily's eyes as she spoke. She looked away rapidly.

"Yeah well we should get going, I guess," Dorcas said.

"Hey Remus!" Lily shouted after him, "Don't skip out on patrol this year, will you?" Remus laughed and mock saluted her.

"Yes ma'am," he yelled back. Lily chuckled. Remus smiled and turned back around. Lily turned back around to see James standing there, too close and too serious. He looked at her in an intense way that was unique to him.

"Are we still only friends?" he asked. Although it could've just as equally been a beg. His jaw ticked and Lily gulped. Now would be a good time for that bravery, but she wasn't sure if she could be brave again. It was quite tiresome.

"We're more," Lily said, her eyes ablaze. She could've kissed him just then, she should've. His eyes were full of heat too, but different then hers. His eyes warmed up the room and made her spine tingle. He leant into kiss her. And that's when she ran.

She burst down the busy corridor, her heart pounding and eyes blurry. Her hair flew in a tangled mess as she ran and stumbled past people. She didn't know which cart her friends were in and she couldn't stop herself to check. So she kept going, running faster and faster, doing her best not to plow into anyone. Finally she reached the end of the train, with no where left to run, the part where virtually no one was. The last cart was empty so she swung it open and sat down. She had ruined everything.

It took James ten minutes to find her and Lily wasn't surprised. He swung the door shut behind him and sat on the opposite bench as her. He tilted her chin up to look at him.

"We aren't leaving until you tell me everything running through your head, because frankly I'm a bit confused," James said to tell. His tone had a lightness to it, but Lily knew this meant a lot to him... and to her.

"I don't know if I can explain it, James," she said to him, wiping her tears.

"You're raving mad, did you know that?" he joked. Lily smiled lightly.

"I know I am. But I don't know why that hasn't scared you away yet," Lily said. She really was still wondering why he liked her. The same question she had asked when he confessed his love for her.

"I'm here for the long haul," James replied. "Now tell me what's going on, before it drives me mad."

"I fancy you and you fancy me. That should make it easy for us to be together, but it isn't. What if we broke up? What if you've built up what dating me would be like in your head and I'm not enough? What if it ruins our friendship? What if dating me gets you killed?" Lily blurted out. These questions had sat in the back of her head since James had visited her in Greece.

"Lily," he said carefully. His words were slow. Deliberate. Careful. "I don't know how else to say this, but I swear everything will work out. Whether we are dating or just friends, nothing will break us apart. You mean too much to me for that to happen. You are are everything to me, don't ever doubt that for a second. If you give me a chance, I won't mess this up."

"I know that and I trust you. I want you. I want this. But the facts are undisputable, James. You are a pureblood, a very rich one at that. Me? I'm a Muggleborn from a working class family from Cokeworth. Do you know how many people want to kill me because my blood isn't like yours? Or how many would kill you for not hating me? I would never forgive myself if you died because of me." She was desperate now. Pleading with him. Needing him to understand. He would die if he stuck with her. She knew it and she couldn't let it happen.

"Rule 8: Always be a Blood Traitor," he said with a smile. "Even if you weren't in my life I would still be on the right side of this war. I would still be a Blood Traitor. I would still beg Dumbledore to let me join the Order. And those people out there? They would still try and kill me and you would never be at fault."

"But relationships fall apart all the time... and I don't want us to," Lily said.

"This is it, you and me." He grabbed Lily's hands between his, his eyes wide with hope. She couldn't bring herself to say no to him again, because she didn't want to.

"This is it," Lily repeated with a smile forming on her face. A smile he gladly reciprocated.

"Lily Evans," he said. She nodded, "Will you go out with me?" This time she didn't hesitate or pull away or rack her brain for an insult.

"Yes." It was a simple one word answer, that completely changed everything. That word changed her life and the world forever. Nothing would be the same after that single moment.

"Finally," James replied. His grin stretched across his face and his eyes sparkled. That was when Lily's resolve cracked. It broke into a million little pieces, irreparable as it fell around them. She pulled James close to her and leant in, taking the initiative. His robes were in her fists as she found his lips with hers. She melted into him, thinking only of how good it felt to be in his arms. It was simple and pure pleasue that unravelled every anxiety. His lips were soft and warm just like the kiss, moving naturally against her own. Except the kiss became more intense the longer it went on. Her fingers moved to his hair, messing it up the way she used to hate. His hands cupped her face, with an endearing gentleness. They drowned in the heated need for one another. Shivers went down her spine. They were unable to pull away and neither wanted to. But then he did. Why did he have to, she thought.

"Lily," he voice was hoarse. Her eyes fluttered open. His eyes were muddled with heat. Lily could hardly think, she could hardly move. "For the record I didn't build you up in my head at all."

"Neither did I," Lily replied. It was perfect... he was perfect. "Now what?"

"I mean we could stay here and snog some more. Or we can leave and return to the Prefect's Cart hand in hand and do our job. What do you say?" James proposed.

"As much as I'd love to stay here with you, we can't. We have to get back to the Prefect's Cart," Lily said. She couldn't believe she let time get away from her. They had to get back fast. James grinned boyishly at her and offered her his hand. A simple gesture that they had done a million times before, but now it meant something more. And Lily couldn't stop smiling either.

Together they returned to the other end of the train, hand in hand, like James proposed. She hoped that her hair wasn't too mussed up and that it wasn't so obvious. It caused a few whispers and gawking from passerbyers, and Lily was sure that rumours would be plenty present when the train got to Hogsmeade station. And Lily was too happy to care although she had an itching suspicion that someone's eyes had followed her as they ran. But for a few moments she let her fears and anxieties escape her and she simply revelled in her newfound relationship.

"So this is definitely real right? I'm not dreaming?" James asked again. He had asked her that about a hundred times and Lily was tired of it. It wasn't like she was something to drool over.

"Not dreaming and please shut up," Lily said lovingly. He grinned at her.

"Remember what I told you at the New Years Party?" He raised an eyebrow. A certain moment popped into her head and she laughed.

"Kissing is a good way to shut you up," Lily recalled. If anything she felt like she was dreaming. James was just... everything. So Lily kissed him again and she didn't hold back. Her hand reached for his neck and his hand found the small of her back making her spine tingle in the way that only he can. He murmured words against her lips, their breathes mingling. It was lovely until a loud knock ruined it all.

"Should I come back?" a dark-haired 5th year Prefect asked. Her eyes were wide with shock as James and Lily untangled. To make it even worse the Prefect was Amelia Bones aka the sister of Edgar and Melissa. Damn.

"Yes-" James said.

"No, it's- er, it's fine." Lily shot James a dirty look. "What can I help you with?"

"There's a commotion inside one of the compartments and no one can get inside. It sounds like a fight," Amelia explained. Lily and James were on their feet.

"Where?" James demanded. Lily was sure that James suspected their friends to be in on the fight. She just hoped they were wrong.

"Towards the end of the train. You'll be able to hear them," Amelia told them looking not nervous in the slightest. James snatched Lily's hand and they raced down the corridor. Her heart thumped in her chest, she hoped that they weren't too late. Amelia was right, they could hear the commotion before they saw it. James pushed by the crowd of people outside the compartment.

"Watch out!" he yelled. People did as he said. Lily pulled at the door, but it wouldn't budge. Oh God. The shades were drawn and the door locked with magic, because no spell was working.

"Bloody hell," James muttered. He rummaged in the pockets of his robes and pulled out a penknife.

"Woah James, what are you doing?" Lily said concerned. He stuck the knife into the lock on the door and somehow the lock clicked open. How on Earth did James pull off the things he did. Lily shook her head.

"Everyone back off! Return to your compartments," Lily shouted to the crowd of people before James opened the door. "Prefects stay with me, but do not enter!" James swung the door open, whipping his wand up. The compartment was crowded. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were on one side with Snape, Mulciber, and Evan Rosier on the other. Marlene was kneeling down holding Mary's head in her hands. Avery was passed out on the other side. But the fight ended within seconds of them entering. With the surprise of them barging in, Remus was able to put a Bodybind curse on Mulciber. And Lily quickly stunned Evan Rosier. That left only Snape standing, he stared at Lily looking lost. Sirius and James both Stunned him at the same time.

"What happened?" Lily demanded. She turned to Sirius and Remus, not being able to bear to look at what happened to Mary yet.

"They attacked us. They heard that the two of you got Head Students and Snape was pissed. Happened a little while ago, he's bloody insane," Sirius said shaking his head. He had a cut on his cheek and left arm, but was otherwise okay. Remus didn't appear to be hurt, nor did Marlene. But Mary, poor Mary wasn't alright. She wasn't conscious or bleeding, but she seemed unnaturally pale and sickly. She looked so dead, but she wasn't. Her chest rose and fell with each frail breath, thankfully.

"What happened to Mary?" Lily asked. She was afraid of what she might hear.

"Dunno. Rosier fired a curse that I don't know and I know a lot of curses, mind you. After it hit Mary it backfired and hit Avery too, I'm not sure why," Sirius explained.

"The curse was probably too strong for her to absorb it all. It happens with some curses, rare though, and not good for the one who gets hit with it. Avery'll be fine though," James added. Lily didn't know how James knew that, it was something Professor Flitwick had casually mentioned once last year. She didn't think James would've been paying attention then. But he had and he kept surprising her.

"Right, let's just hope that Madam Pomfrey will know what to do. We're almost there anyway," Remus said looking out the window. I still couldn't tell the difference between the trees and hills near Hogwarts and the trees and hills closer to London. But it doesn't matter, all that matters is getting Mary to Madam Pomfrey.

"Are there any Professors on the train?" Sirius asked.

"No." Lily shook her head. "They entrusted James and I to be able to handle it ourselves, I guess."

"Hey, it isn't your fault," James said. He put his arm around her shoulder, comforting her, but she wasn't the one looking like they were dead on the floor.

"We should've stopped this. It is my fault, for God's sake," Lily said. Lily knew Snape had saw Lily and James grinning and holding hands. She just knew it. That's why he came over here fuming about James and Lily being Head Students together.

"Lily-"

"No listen! Snape saw, he saw us. That's why he came storming over here. That's what set him off. If we hadn't done that- I knew someone would see! Argh!" Lily stammered.

"You aren't making any sense Lily and it isn't helping Mary," James told her. She huffed even though he was right. Her rambling wasn't helping Mary and she knew that.

"Move aside," Lily said. She made her way over to Evan Rosier and reversed the curse only after taking his wand.

"What are you doing!?"

"Whazzgoinon?" Evan slurred. Lily grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close.

"What the bloody hell did you do to Mary?" Lily demanded. She waited for him to answer and he had the nerve to laugh. Not chuckle but a full blown crazy person cackle. He seemed as insane as someone who spent their life in Azkaban.

"What did you do to her, you dirty Death Eater!" James shouted. He placed his wand at Evan's throat harshly.

"Why should I tell a Blood Traitor like you?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing," James growled. "And you'll tell me now while you still have a fighting chance to not be expelled rather than Dumbledore kicking filthy scum like you out the door!" Lily figured that filthy scum was redendant, but it didn't matter at the moment.

"Don't you see, Potter. I don't care about school! The Dark Lord doesn't care about me getting an Outstanding in Charms. It doesn't matter and soon Dumbledore won't be here to protect you," Evan Rosier said with another crazy grin.

"I don't see Dumbledore here now. And yet you're still wandless and cursed," James said. "So if I were you I'd tell me how to fix Mary. Preferably now!" James pressed the wand a bit harder into his neck.

"Oh it's simple really. Black, I'm surprised you don't remember this one. I believe your dear father used it upon you, yeah?" Evan said smirking again.

"Don't call me that name!" Sirius rushed forward, only to have Remus pull him back. "And he's no father of mine." Sirius scowled at Evan while yelling at Remus to let him go. Sirius had a certain knack for creative langauge and insults.

"You can't escape it, cousin, you can't pretend. You're a Black through and through. You can't outrun your heritage!" Evan shouted with another cackle. "It's in your blood, Blood Traitor!"

"All we want is for you to reverse the spell, Rosier. That's all," Sirius said with a stony mask, the anger bubbling beneath the surface, ready to explode.

"You can't touch me. Your precious Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. Give me my wand and we'll duel. If you win I'll fix her," Evan said, looking slightly more rational.

"Don't do it, Sirius." Marlene shook her head at Sirius.

"James is my second," Sirius said, ignoring Marlene. "Who's yours?"

"Go fetch Wilkes. He should be around," Evan said smiling. James nodded and ran off. Lily knew this was a bad idea. It wouldn't end well. She had to stop them somemhow.

"Sirius," She whispered. She pulled him over to the corner as Remus held Evan.

"What?" he snapped.

"Don't do this. Your rising to his bait," Lily warned.

"We need him to fix Mary," Sirius insisted.

"We're going to be at Hogwarts in 10 minutes and Madam Pomfrey will take care of her, okay?" Lily said. Sirius scowled. "You aren't doing this because of Mary, are you?"

"What are you trying to say? Huh? You think I'm evil or something? D'you reckon he's right? That I'm a Black through and through?" Sirius demanded. He looked angry, his face turning a bit red.

"No I don't. You're Sirius and you're sweet and caring and occasionally reckless, but not evil and not a Black. And you're only proving my point. You don't need to prove to anyone that you aren't like your family. Because you already have," Lily said. She grabbed his wrist.

"You don't understand," he grumbled.

"I know I don't, but everyone knows that you aren't like your family. I mean for God's sake you are talking to me afterall," Lily tried to make it a joke. She wanted that carefree Sirius back. "Please don't duel him. I wouldn't be able to handle both you and Mary being hurt." Evan Rosier was so confident that he'd make it out unscathed that he chose Wilkes for his second. Lily personally had never seen him duel, but she knew that he was magically skilled in most subjects. She knew this wouldn't turn out good for either of them.

"How d'you know that I'd get hurt?" Ah there it was. Pride.

"Because people like Evan wouldn't hesitate to use an Unforgivable."

"I've already endured that before," Sirius shot back.

"And why would you want to again?" Lily asked. "Nothing good will come from this, because Mary will get help from Madam Pomfrey."

"I can't let them win," he said defeated.

"You aren't, Sirius, you are simply being the man we all know you are. The one that is the furthest thing from a Death Eater," Lily reassured. She patted his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. James burst through the door without Wilkes.

"Couldn't find him, but I can see the castle." James gestured to the window. He was right, tht castle was in view.

"No need James. We aren't going to take help from scum like Rosier even if I could kick his arse in the process," Sirius said pridefully. He raised his wand and put the Body-Bind burse back onto Evan.

"When we get there, Moony and Padfoot will take Mary and Avery straight up to Madam Pomfrey. James and I have our Head Duties and the Prefects'll handle Snape, Evan, and Mulciber. Marlene and Wormtail, can you guys alert McGonagoll about what happened?" Lily told them. They nodded earnestly. Then her facade broke. She ran over and hugged Marlene, desperately needing her best friend. Just someone to hold her for a second. So much had happened that day and it was all very emotional. One of her closest friends laid in a comatose state and Lily had no clue if she'd be okay.

"It'll be okay Lils," Marlene comforted. It was nice to hear her words, but Lily knew they were empty. Empty words with no backing or evidence. No one knew what Evan had done to Mary and they didn't know if she'd be okay.

"Did- did Snape say anything when he came in? Or was it just sudden fighting?" Lily asked, wiping her tears.

"He was practically off his rocker, Snape was. He was muttering things like 'Stupid Heads' 'Blood Traitor Potter' 'Hands off'. Weird things like that, although the 'Blood Traitor Potter' could be expected," Marlene said with a weak smile. Lily knew it. She knew it. She was officially partially responible for Mary's condition. If Lily hadn't run from James, then they wouldn't have walked back hand in hand. And if Snape hadn't seen them walking hand in hand then he wouldn't have stormed over and fought her friends. Then his friend wouldn't have cursed her friend and Sirius wouldn't be so upset from Evan's words.

"Yeah, ha ha," Lily said, her voice hollow.

"What did you mean before about setting off Snape?" Marlene asked warily. Oh no, Marlene thought it was her fault too. Oh God.

"He saw me and James. He saw us together-" Lily began, but her voice choked up.

"He's had a year to come to terms with your friendship. this wasn't your fault," Marlene said. Okay maybe Marlene didn't think it was her fault at the moment at least. She wanted to tell Marlene about her and James. How she told him she fancied him and she ran from him scared that their relationship would get him hurt. And she was right in a way. Their relationship had been alive for mere minutes and it already got Mary cursed and knocked out. They couldn't be together. She wouldn't let it hurt anyone else.

"Yeah," she said. She couldn't talk about it any more with Marlene, not until she ended it with James. But she didn't want to end it with James and she didn't want him to hate her. In the end she'd rather him alive and hating her than dead because of her.

The train came to a screeching halt. Lily lurched forward a bit, almost crashing into James. She helped Remus and Sirius get Mary and Avery ready to be levitated into the castle. Lily looked up to James, remembering that they'd be working together all year. How could she tell him that she couldn't be with him then share a responsibility with him for months.

~James~ Royal Screw Ups

Quick recap of his day so far. He came to Kings Cross Station early, which he'd never done before. But now he was Head Boy so there's a first time for everything, right?. Anways, he saw Lily standing there struggling and as much as he couldn't face her, he knew he had to. He wasn't going to just leave her struggling. James is a gentleman and a Gryffindor after all. Also Marlene told him that Lily got Head Girl so he'd have to see her all the time. Anyways she was mad at him and she vaguely eluded to fancying him, which James needed clarification on because who ever truly knows Lily's feelings. And he didn't want to get his hopes up. Sirius came and ruined it as she was about to say something important and she ran away. James caught up and she told him she fancied him. He was going to kiss her but she ran away again. He found her and then they kissed and ran hand in hand back to the Prefect's Cart. Then Amelia walked in on their snogging and led them to the scene of a fight. Evan Rosier cursed Mary (on purpose) and Avery (on accident). Now him and Lily have Head duties and their friends are going to alert Madam Pomfrey and McGonagoll.

"All right Lily?" James asked her. She had just stopped crying in the corner with Marlene. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he hoped she wasn't hurting.

"Not really," she said. She wouldn't look into his eyes. James grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He just hoped that her feeling down was solely because of Mary's predictament and not because of him in some way.

"She'll be okay. Madam Pomfrey has never failed us before," James told her.

"I know that I just- Nevermind, we better get going," Lily said. They swung the door open and were practically attacked and bombarded by people. Mary's boyfriend was at the front of the crowd.

"What happened? Is she alright? Merlin Lily, tell me!" Reginald shouted at Lily. He shook Lily's shoulders. James put his arm out and made Reginald step back. James had never heard Reginald so outspoken before.

"There was a fight and Mary got caught up in it. She was hit with a curse that we don't recognise-" James explained.

"What!? Where is she?" he shouted again.

"She's being brought up to Madam Pomfrey as we speak. I reckon you should go find Sirius and Remus if you want to find her," James said again. And Reginald didn't hestitate another moment. He sprinted off down the hall towards the exit.

"We should get going," Lily said, "We have to make sure Hagrid has all of the First Years in attendance." They exited the train together, no longer holding hands and James was disappointed.

"Hey Hagrid. How are you?" Lily asked. The large man turned and faced James and Lily.

"Hiya Lily. How're yeh doin'? Head Girl I s'pose. No my'stry there," Hagrid said with a toothy grin.

"Hi there Hagrid," James added.

"Head Boy... well done! Yeh're both goin' to do great things, yeh hear. Great things I tell yeh or at least Dumbledore tells me. And I trust him, Dumbledore I mean. The man knows what he's doin'." Hagrid said.

"Thanks Hagrid, now what should we do to help you?" James asked.

"Oh right. C'mon yeh oughta help me get these rowdy firs' years under control. Y'know scratch that, yeh'll just make sure that everyone gets on the carriages," Hagrid said to the Head students.

"Jus' make sure no one's hanging back. They've upped the security this year. Well I'll be seeing yeh," he said before turning back to the First Years. "Firs' years! Firs' years! This way, the lot'a yeh!"

"All right then let's go," Lily said, "Bye Hagrid." Hagrid was to busy saying things to the First Years to pay attention to her.

"No more'n four to a boat, yeh hear. When everybody's in we'll go forward," Hagrid went on. James watched Lily smile for a moment as she watched Hagrid. He was happy she was happy.

"He's such a sweet guy, don't you think?" Lily said.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I thought we'd have a harder task. I mean so far we've only had to introduce ourselves to the Prefects and take the last carraige to the castle."

"And fight a few Slytherins," she added glumly. Damn, she was upset again.

"Yeah well we'll go straight up to the Hospital Wing after the Feast, yeah?" James said.

"No we have to go to Dumbledore first. That's what he said in our letters," Lily reminded him.

"Right well after that I guess," he said. That was the last thing they said to each other on the carraige ride. Both were lost in their thoughts and neither were in a sharing mood.

The feast felt off. Like the Great Hall had an odd vibe. Sirius and Remus stumbled into the Great Hall halfway through the Sorting, not seeming too happy. Peter and Marlene were there and they had told McGonagoll everything that happened. Dumbledore was rambling on about the castle's new defence measures and how we are in danger and all. Which the Sorting Hat sang about as well. And it seemed like every student in the Hall had heard about the fight, whispers and rumours were being spread like the plague. Everything felt gloomy and unhappy. James hated it. The only vaguely good note is their new DADA teacher: Mr. Maverick Fawley. James knew of Maverick, or Mav as he called him. He was a pureblood and a good friend of the Potters. Maverick was James' closest neighbour. Not that they were very close at all, it was a few miles between their respective Manors. Mav was only a few years above James which left him wondering how he got the job or why he wanted it at all. Everyone knew that the DADA teachers never return for a second year. Mrs. Shaw, last year's teacher, left midway through the year to check up on her parents and never came back. They were stuck with a substitute for the remainder of the year.

"Sirius," James whispered. Sirius' head shot up. "What happened?"

"Pomfrey has her. Should be alright, but she hasn't woken up yet. Cattermole's with her," Sirius said briefly. James nodded, at least it hadn't got any worse. He let out a sigh of relief, but the room didn't become less gloomy.

"What did McGonagoll say to you, Wormtail? Are they gonna be expelled?" James asked.

"She didn't say nothin; 'bout punishments or anything, just 'bout how she was glad that we told her and that it was irresponsible to fight'em back. Just how McGonagoll usually is," Peter responded.

"Right. Blast it, d'you think anyone would notice if I left here early?" James asked.

"C'mon James you're Head Boy now. Stick this one out," Lily said, "I want to leave too, but this is our duty. Madam Pomfrey has got it under control."

"Fine," he huffed. Checking up on Mary wasn't the only thing he wanted to do when he left. He wanted to talk to Lily and reaffirm their relationship, perhaps snog a bit, because that was honestly heavenly. He could hardly believe his luck. Lily freaking Evans fancied him! Imagine that. Naturally a crisis had to occur and take away from the moment, but nonetheless he's dating Lily. He couldn't wrap his head around it and he definitely didn't want to mess it up. Damn, Lily kissed him.

That's how James spent the rest of the Feast, replaying the moments in his head. Occasionally he'd join in the conversation, but only so they wouldn't think he'd gone off his rocker. So when the Feast ended James was excited. he'd finally get to talk to Lily and visit Mary and find out about his Head Boy duties. It was all very exciting, well not about Mary. He really did need to start making an effort to be her friend, the two of them had never really spoken much.

"C'mon, love, let's get up to Dumbledore's office," James said, pulling Lily by the hand. Once they rounded the corner and came into an empty corridor, James leant in to kiss her.

"James this really isn't the time-" Lily objected.

"D'you have an issue with me kissing you or something?" he asked.

"Are you joking, James? We kissed on multiple occasions today," Lily reminded him, pushing his chest away from her lightly.

"Yeah, but the second I try and kiss you, you pull back or run away," James said poutily.

"That's- I don't have an issue with you kissing me. It just isn't the time right now. We have things to do. More important things," Lily said.

"This is important to me," James grumbled.

"Look be mad at me if you want, it wouldn't be different than half the time anyways," Lily said before walking away. James scowled. How could she say that? She's mad at him half he time too. Why did everything have to be complicated? When James reached Dumbledore's office the door was ajar and Lily was already inside. Merlin she ran off pretty fast.

"Please take a seat James," Dumbledore said pleasantly. James sat and Lily wouldn't meet his gaze. Talk about being mad. "I heard about the incident on the train." He didn't say anything more.

"Yes, sorry about that sir. We did our best to stop the fighting as quickly as possible," James said. He hoped Dumbledore wouldn't be mad about how the fight occured on their watch.

"And for that, I am glad. But I'd like to hear your account of the story, rather than what I heard from second hand sources," Dumbledore said.

"Of course Professor," James said, before recounting the story to him. He made sure to emphasize Rosier's cruelty, hoping Dumbldore would see to the most severe punishment.

"These students in question, the 7th year Slytherin boys, are a group you are known to have a grudge with. Am I correct in that assumption?" the Headmaster asked.

"Yes sir, but Lily and I weren't even there! This was more than just a house rivalry. That group is sitting in the palm of-" James began.

"Voldemort, yes," Dumbledore finished.

"You- you know, sir?"

"About certain students being interested in becoming a Death Eater? Yes I know. I am sensible enough to realize that a great deal of events take place within this school that I don't know of, but potential Death Eaters is something I am very aware of," he said with a frown.

"Right, so you know this is deeper than a Quidditch match."

"Yes, much deeper indeed. I simply needed your opinion," Dumbledore said with his eyes twinkling.

Sir? Will Mary be alright?" James asked.

"I spoke to Madam Pomfrey, Mary will be just fine. An old piece of magic on her, but she will be okay in a few days. She is still sleeping it off," Dumbledore said.

"Right, well that's relieving," James said. Lily still hadn't spoke. James went on, "Will the attackers be punished?" Dumbledore took a moment to respond. He seemed to have been expecting the question.

"Punished? Well that wouldn't be up to me as much as it would be up to Professor Slughorn," Dumbledore said, "But if I know Horace at all, than he will be sure to dish out the suffice number of detentions." James only nodded. It wasn't what he was hoping. He wanted expulsion, or at the very least suspension, but he knew that he could do nothing about it.

"So how are you faring in your new position? I must apologise," Dumbledore said looking sorry, "because this year is different. It won't be an easy one by any means. As Head Boy and Girl you'll be targeted even more than you were before, and for that I am sorry for putting you in such a position. But in my defence I needed two people I could entrust with the safety of the school." Wow, Dumbledore trusts Lily and him. He wasn't surprised about Lily so much, but James. Wow.

"Thank you sir," Lily said finally. "How can we help around the castle to make it a safer place? On the train I was thinking that maybe we need more people patrolling at a time."

"That sounds like a good idea and I'm sure you'll put a lovely timetable together for it. Your current task, however, will be to keep the students calm without making them complacent. Other than that, I fear that there is not much to be done, although I will let you know when the time arises," he went on, "For now though I'll instruct you on how to get to your rooms." Rooms? As in different to our normal dorms?

"Your Head dormitory is joined, obviously with separate bedrooms and a common living space. You can access it by a password of your choice. At the moment it is set as Treacle Tart," said Dumbledore. James gave him a blank stare.

"Um sir, where is this dormitory? I've never heard of it before?" James said. He'd heard of it all. From secret passages to secret chambers. He perhaps hadn't found it all yet, but he has heard of it at least. Although a secret Heads dormitory he hasn't heard of.

"This is because it is a secret. And I'd appreciate it if the only ones whom you inform would be your current dormmates," he said, "As to it's location, well it's on the 7th floor behind the tapestry depicting Merlin's battle with Morgana." James for one knew where the tapestry was, but he'd never seen any doorway behind it.

"Alright thank you, sir," Lily said.

"Oh wait," Dumbledore spoke, "Before it slips my mind, Miss Evans will you gather all the 7th year Gryffindors and the others we spoke about last winter for a meeting with me next Friday?"

"Yes sir," she said. Dumbledore smiled at them as they exited. James was pumped to have a secret dormitory. It's one more secret of the castle they had unlocked. Once they exited Dumbledore's office, James grabbed Lily's hand.

"What was that about? The meeting I mean?" James asked. She shrugged and he squeezed her hand tighter.

"You're a really affectionate bloke, did you know that?" But Lily did not pull her hand away from his.

"Is that so bad? I've waited two years to do this. And it paid off, Lily Evans is my girlfriend!" James said with a wide grin. Lily gave a noncommital sound and James stopped in his tracks.

"What's going on with you? Are you mad at me still?" James asked.

"No, I'm just not sure if us dating is such a good idea," Lily said. James' face fell and he dropped her hand.

"You're kidding." His voice was hollow. He turned and he started to walk away.

"Wait hear me out James!"

"What else is there to hear? You don't fancy me anymore? It was just a joke or a snog? What is it now?" James snapped. How could she do this to him again. They talked on the train about her fears in the relationship and he thought that went away.

"Mary got hurt because of us," Lily said, almost whispering. Like she didn't want to admit it out loud.

"Rubbish. You can't blame us for that. And that's a horrible excuse to break up with me for, if you can even say that. I mean we've been 'dating' for not even a day and you are ending things." James shook his head in disbelief.

"It isn't rubbish James! Snape saw us holding hands and giggling as we went back to the Head's Compartment. I know he saw us. I felt his eyes on me and when he attacked them he was muttering about us! About you keeping your hands off me and 'Blood Traitor Potter'. If he hadn't seen us then Mary wouldn't be hurt. What if she died!?" Lily shouted. Then more quietly she went on, "I won't have you or anyone else get hurt because of us."

"I don't care about being hurt-"

"Well I'd care, James! I'd care if you were hurt! So would your family and friends. And I refuse for it to be my fault!"

"Lily, I love you so damn much. I can't stand knowing that you fancy me too and you won't act on it because you're trying to be all noble," James said gently.

"I'm not trying to be noble," she insisted, "This is serious."

"Yeah but any one of us could die any day. And it wouldn't be your fault at all." James stepped closer to her.

"Is that suposed to make me feel better, because if so you are doing a rubbish job," Lily said with a frown. "And I want this as much as you do, but I'd rather you alive as my friend than dead as my boyfriend."

"Lily don't you understand? When we leave school, we'll face death every single day. And they hate me because I don't hate Muggles and Muggleborns. So no matter what I do, date you or not, they will still hate me. They will still target me and they'll still target you," James said.

"You really are awful at cheering people up," she said again. He smiled.

"Well you're too smart for me to coddle you," he joked. "So er- what's going on in your head?"

"I don't know. It all happened rather quickly and I think I need some time. And James, I truly meant it before when I said I'd go out with you. I've just saw Mary get hurt and I knew it was because Snape saw us..."

"Take all the time you need. I'm used to being patient. And I'm not mad at you, but don't not do this because of Snape. That's all that I ask of you," James told her.

"Snape isn't the reason I'm unsure. It's that I can't handle you dying and you're more likely to die if you are with me," Lily said.

"I'll be okay, but take you're time to decide. I'll be waiting for you," he said. "Now let's go visit Mary."

Mary is doing all right. Madam Pomfrey said she'll probably wake up tomorrow or the day after next. Reginald refused to leave her side, even overnight. There shouldn't be any side effects to the curse. James was overjoyed when he heard the news. Then Lily spilled the news to Marlene, Dorcas, Emmeline, Sirius, Peter, and Remus about the secret meeting she was told to gather them for.

"So Dumbledore wants us all and a few others to come to a meeting with him on Friday," Lily said.

"A meeting? What about?" Dorcas asked.

"I'm not allowed to say just yet, but you'll see when we get there," Lily said. Wait, that implyed that she knew what the meeting was about, but she told him that she didn't know. He gave her a look, but she wasn't looking at him.

"So what time is this meeting?" Remus asked.

"He didn't say-" James began.

"It's at 3:00," Lily said. He looked at her again.

"Well which one is it then?" Sirius joked.

"Well he really didn't say." James crossed his arms. What was going on with her.

"Right well I'm just assuming it's at 3," she muttered.

"That's a bit of a random time to assume, wouldn't you say?" Remus pressed. This time Lily glared at James for getting her into this mess.

"Yeah I guess you're right, it is a bit random. Anyways, I'm going to go settle in," Lily told them all, avoiding explanation. Then she turned on her heels and stalked off. James sighed, he had messed up.

"What was she going on about?" Emmeline muttered. James fought the urge to tell Emmeline to go to hell. He was a bit pissed at her. Mostly because she was so horrible to Remus when they were breaking up, but now because she was being awfully rude.

"I should go settle in as well. I'll see you," he said, before following where Lily had gone. He made his way up to the 7th floor and walked to the tapestry with Merlin on it.

"Treacle Tart," James said. A door handle materialized, not unsimilar to the kitchens entrance. James opened the door and walked inside. The first word that came to mind when James first saw the sitting room for James and Lily to share was: ordinary. It was similar to the Gryffindor Common Room in that it had a cosy looking fireplace. Although it was much smaller. There was only one singular couch and a small table with two chairs. There were multiple paintings, most of them depicting Merlin. Was Merlin a theme of this room or something? There were two doors at the back of the room. One for Lily and one for him, both were labelled either Head Boy or Head Girl. James, obviously, went into the Head Boy room. And once again it was ordinary. There was a queen sized bed, a bathroom, a painting, and a dresser. A decent sized room, not quite as large as his room back home, but a bigger space than his dorm with the Marauders. That's when it hit him: he wouldn't be rooming with the Marauders anymore. He'd have all of this space to himself, but no company. It was a bleak thought. Although having Lily next door was incredible, he'd miss his mates. It was tough over the summer ever since Sirius moved out to his very own flat.

James stood up and went back into the sitting room and lounged by the fire. He watched the flames hungrily eat at the wood. The licked and jumped up, warming the room. The wood burnt but never needed to be replaced. As he sat there he occasionally stared at Lily's door, hoping that she'd come out so they could talk. They didn't even have to talk, he just wanted someone there with him, but she never came. He thought about going to his mate's dormitory and hanging out there, but he was suddenly exhausted. His eyelids drooped and he stumbled towards his room. He fell asleep the second he collapsed onto his bed.

James' eyes peeked open, he could hardly see a thing. He groggily reached around for his glasses, which must've fell off as he slept. As he put them on the whole world focused around him.

"Bloody hell!" James shouted. He practically jumped three feet in the air.

"What are you on about?" mumbled Lily Evans as she slept beside him. Her ginger hair a tangled mess. What was she doing in his room?

"Wake up," James said. He was alarmed that she was in his room, yet also flattered. James then went on, "Lily, c'mon get up. We have classes today and you have some explaining to do." Her eyes opened quickly at his words.

"Jesus Christ James! Why are you in my bed?" she asked horrified.

"Um Lily, we're in my room."

"Not funny. We may have snogged yesterday, but that doesn't give you an excuse to sleep in my bed. So get out!" Lily told him. She glared at him in a way that made him listen. He looked around the room and realized that she was right: this wasn't his room. Everything was identical except her bathroom was on the left of the door rather than the right and her painting was different. Also the fact that her trunk was here was different.

"This isn't my room," he gathered.

"Nope, now please leave," she reiterated.

"Right sorry," he said. He returned to his room with his untouched bed. He looked a his watch, he had ten minutes to get to breakfast. Alright he thought, at least he isn't late. He changed and quickly exited his room to find a disgruntled Lily Evans waiting for him.

"Sorry," James said again. "I was so tired when I was-"

"It's whatever, just not a word to anyone," she told him. James figured that accidentally sleeping in her bed wasn't going to help him in any way. He wanted her to like him, not think he was trying to get in her panties. Get your head out of the gutter, James scolded himself.

"'Course not. Ready for breakfast?" James said with a false cheeriness.

"Yep." Lily exited from behind the tapestry and walked a few steps ahead of him.

"Right so you aren't mad at me, are you?" James asked. Apparantly that wasn't the right thing to say. Who knew?

"What for interrogating me about classified Head information in front of all the 7th year Gryffindors or sleeping in my bed when I asked you to give me space regarding our relationship," Lily asked, her eyes narrowing. James winced. He had forgot that she was mad about the Dumbledore thing. He realized that he could fight her on it, but that also wouldn't help him much. Time to go for the apology route.

"First off, Lily I'm sorry again about the bed thing. I just stumbled into your room, thinking it was mine and I apologise. Secondly about the whole Dumbledore thing, I didn't realize we were keeping a secret about certain things and seeing as I was in the dark I wanted answers. I didn't realize it put you in a sticky situation," James said. Her expression softened a bit.

"I appreciate your apology and I get why you were confused, but we'd do better off to not contradict each other. It doesn't look good," Lily told him. But now that they mentioned the secret meeting again, he was curious.

"Yeah I'm sorry, but how do you know more than me about this meeting?" he wondered. Lily looked down both sides of the empty corridor, before turning back to James. She let out a deep sigh before she began to speak.

"He called a meeting with me last winter- and before you say anything- I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. Now it's fine of course seeing as you are Head Boy and all, but I couldn't say anything any earlier than now. He tasked me with finding trustworthy people. So for the second half of last year that was what I did behind the scenes," Lily explained in a rushed whisper.

"But why? Is he making an army or something?" James joked, but Lily didn't crack a smile. Not even a little.

"That's exactly what I think he's doing. Look around James, the Minister is hardly doing anything. He has his handful of Aurors which are dwindling as time goes on and that's it. You mentioned to me about the Order and I've been researching it. Obviously it's a secret, but people are guessing there's an organization out there fighting him. There's been small articles in the Daily Prophet about Aurors being tipped off about certain battles and Dead Death Eaters turning up apparantly on their own accord," Lily explained, "And on top of that all, didn't you noticed Dumbledore's frequent absenses from meals at the end of last year? I'm guessing he was with the Order and I'm guessing Dumbledore wants to recruit us all after Hogwarts."

"And you think he just trusts some random student to sort through those who are trustworthy and those who aren't?" James asked. He was slightly pissed that Lily had noticed this all and he hadn't and that Dumbledore hadn't trusted him. James, afterall, had known about the Order first.

"I'm not some random student, I'm Head Girl and I was a prefect before that," Lily said. Her eyes narrowed at him, but he wasn't backing down.

"Yeah a Head Girl whose best friend is a Death Eater," James jibed. The world froze for a moment. Lily's expression went blank, her face paled. It was the same look she got when Snape called her a you-know-what.

"Forget I bothered," Lily drawled. She spun on her heels and sped off to breakfast. James cursed under his breath. Why did he keep messing things up? Just when their relationship seemed to have smooth sailing ahead, James sunk the damn ship. He sulked off to breakfast, where Lily sat at the very opposite end of the group. There were so many things he should've said instead of bringing Snape up, such as who were the people she recruited?

"What's up with you and Lily?" Marlene demanded after breakfast. She cornered him so he couldn't escape this one.

"She's mad at me," James said. Marlene scowled.

"I know that, but why is she mad at you? She refuses to tell me," Marlene said. Her scowl deepened.

"Well it probably wouldn't be in the best interest of my health if I told you something she doesn't want you to know," James muttered. He really needed to learn how to stay quiet, otherwise soon enough every girl at Hogwarts would hate him. That wasn't true of course, but every girl that mattered to him would hate him.

"You better figure out how to fix it, because she sure isn't going to be approaching you any time soon," Marlene said before taking off. It wasn't even 10am and both Lily and Marlene were mad at him. He really needed to fix everything.

All day James tried to corner Lily the way Marlene had cornered him, but she was too good at evading him. She'd leave meals early and be the first one out the door during class. By the time he returned to the Head dormitory, she was already locked away in her room. He reckoned that no matter what he did she'd be mad at him, so he might as well take a chance. James decided to stay in the sitting room until Lily left it, because she'd have to leave eventually. And he waited for hours. He looked down at his watch and dinner had passed. Soon enough it would be lights out. So James did something else. He said he was patient but he was done waiting tonight.

"Lily open up please." James knocked on her door. Surprisingly enough she obliged. The door cracked open so James could see barely an centimetre into her room.

"What is it?" she asked. The singular eye that was visible to James through the doorway looked bleary and red. He felt immensely guilty. He made her cry. He was the source of her sadness.

"Can we talk out here for a bit?" James tried to make his voice as gentle as he could.

"I don't think that'd be the best idea," she replied. Fair enough.

"Right, well I'm sorry about what I've said to you the past couple of days. I've really screwed everything up and I swore I wouldn't if you gave me the chance, so I'm sorry. I ignored your letters over the summer, because I was insecure. I thought you'd be better off with Gregor. I accidentally slept in your bed just after you asked for space. I contradicted you over a secret between you and Dumbledore, because I hated not being confided in. I hated that I wasn't seen to be as trustworthy as you and I took it out on you. I acted like a jerk and I said things I didn't mean. I hated how you were backing out of the relationship before it even started. And I'm sorry. I get it that you'd never want to date me ever after what I said and I understand. But please just let me be your friend," James begged. Tears began to gather in his eyes as he begged her to not shut him out. She opened the door all the way.

"James," she spoke softly but a stony face. "I don't hate you. You'll always be my friend and dating is never off the table. Not with us. But you are right. You screwed up. You were a jerk. You're jealous and prideful and you messed up. I'm not just going to pretend that everything you did didn't hurt me, because it did. You were out of line when you brought up Severus and when you said I was just a random student-"

"I know I'm-" James tried to say.

"Let me finish," she interrupted right back. "It all hurt me and I cried and cried for hours. Stemming back from when you started to ignore my letters. But I will accept your apology." James froze. Accept his apology?

"What d'you mean?" he asked. The tears had stopped for both James and Lily.

"I mean that I know you are sorry and I accept your apology. I'm not going to completely forgive you yet, because it hurt me. It hurt a lot. And obviously asking you to give me space will never last," Lily smiled a bit, "and I couldn't ask you to forget that I fancy you until we start dating. So I'm just going to ask you to be my friend for awhile."

"Of course and I'd give you space if that's what you want. I would- wait did you say until we start dating?" James said with a slow realization. He looked over to Lily who was smiling at him again.

"Yeah, I made up my mind. You were right on the train: it's you and me. And you were right that anyone could get hurt now, You-Know-Who is out for anyone like me or anyone who likes people like me. We are all in danger and I might as well get used to it," Lily said. James felt a rush of elation, but Lily's smile fell. "But not yet. Like I said, I haven't forgiven you yet. You were an arse and I'll need some time."

"Yeah anything. I'm still really sorry though. I lost my head and it wasn't right," James went on.

"Stop apologising, okay. And I'll see you tomorrow," Lily said. She began to close the door, but before she closed it all the way she said, "Sleep in your own bed tonight, alright?"

"I'll try," James said with a laugh. He returned to his room, feeling better. Still guilty for being the source of her pain, but better. He hadn't lost everything with her. Not yet.

**AN: Ladies and gents that was the one the few of you reading this were waiting for! Whew! Do me a favor and review. Even if you detest my writing altogether then I'd like to know. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Howling about Hogsmeade to the Headmaster

The first week came and past after they resolved their fight. Lily and James returned into the normal groove of their friendship. James acted as though they had never even so much as held hands. He busied himself with the Gryffindor Quidditch team anyways. They held trials and found a new Chaser. Hestia Jones made the team as a Reserve (she told Lily all about it when Lily tutored her for Charms). Lily just hoped that being Team Captain and Head Boy were too much. Mary had made a quick recovery from the Hospital Wing. Her classes were very demanding, but very informative. She especially loved Professor Fawley. Not because he was hot, like other girls thought, but because he was an incredible teacher. She could tell he loved to teach and connect with his students. Next week he said he had a very exciting lesson planned for them. And now it was the second Friday of the school year. The day of their meeting with Dumbledore!

"James!" Lily called out that morning. She knocked over and over on his door. "C'mon get up."

"Coming," he groaned. Some five minutes later, James pushed his door open.

"You look horrible," Lily exclaimed as he came into the light. Beneath his eyes were home to large purple bags. His clothes were wrinkled and looked suspiciously like the ones he wore the night before. And he seemed to need to hold his head up as he walked.

"Thanks Lily," James said dryly, "Just what I wanted to hear."

"I would say sorry for insulting you, but I think I'll settle for: I told you so," Lily said. She smirked at him. "You really shouldn't have gone out to Hogsmeade."

"Yeah, yeah I get it. You were right again, Miss Infallible Evans," James grinned back at her, although it resembled a grimace. James and the rest of the Marauders went for a trip to Hogsmeade and evidently had gotten quite drunk.

"Infallible my arse," Lily muttered. James grinned even more.

"Would you prefer Perfect Prefect, Lovely Lily, or Heavenly Head Girl?" James went on.

"Shut up and let's get to breakfast. This whole rooming with you thing has slowed my mornings down considerably," Lily told him.

"Alright I'm coming, but I don't recall asking you to wait for me," James said. And together they headed off to breakfast in the Great Hall.

All day the chosen 7th years bombarded her with questions. Apparently they couldn't wait until 3 o'clock for more information. Sirius tried to charm information out of her, Marlene tried to guilt her into telling ("I thought best friends tell each other things?"), Remus tried kissing up to her by offering to do her homework etc, and Mary tried to play the injury card. Surprisingly enough, Peter was the only one not trying to squeeze information from her. Lily was incredibly grateful. And she had noticed that he looked paler this year and jumpier too.

"Will you all stop!" Lily exclaimed. Marlene, Remus, Sirius, and Mary all jumped back in surprise. They had been pestering her on the walk to Dumbledore's office and Lily had had enough.

"Sorry Lily," Remus mumbled.

"Sorry," Mary said after.

"Sorry Lils," Marlene said. They turned expectantly towards Sirius, who hadn't yet spoken. He sighed quite loudly.

"Fine, sorry Tigerlily," he said, as he rolled his eyes. Lily let out a sound of amusement and Sirius grinned at her, obviously trying to charm her once more.

"So about this meeting..." he began.

"Shove off. I honestly wish you all let me walk here alone," Lily said. She shook her head and they approached the gargoyle statues that marked Dumbledore's office.

"Ice Mice," Lily said and the door spun open. She looked back towards her friends and motioned for them to enter. Remus and Sirius must've been having a silent argument behind her back, because Sirius shot Remus a dirty look as he crossed his arms and powered by him. Lily raised an eyebrow surprised.

"Sorry about him Lily, he doesn't know when to quit. Sorry about us all really. I suppose we're all a bit nervous about being summoned by the Headmaster. It's never happened before unless we did something wrong," he explained.

"It's fine, really," Lily told him. And they followed everyone else inside. James was already there, and standing beside him were Peter, Dorcas, Emmeline, Cardoroc Dearborn, Benjy Fenwick, Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Alice and Frank Longbottom, and a man she didn't recognise. More people than she expected to see.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on?" Marlene whispered to Lily.

"You'll see," she replied quickly.

"Welcome, please come in," Dumbledore said. "You all are of age. Some are you have already graduated and some are in their last year of schooling. All of you I consider trustworthy, but nevertheless I still require your word."

"About what?" Sirius asked.

"I need your word before I say anything. Promise me that you'll speak nothing of anything I tell you today," Dumbledore insisted. Everyone looked around to each other. Lily found James' eyes and nodded.

"I promise Professor," they both said. Dumbledore' eyes twinkled as he smiled.

"I promise," some others said a few moments after.

"I won't say a word," Fabian and Gideon promised.

"Same here," someone else said. After a few minutes everyone promised that they wouldn't say anything to anyone else regarding the upcoming conversation. Lily was surprised that Dumbledore hadn't made them sign a jinxed parchment or some sort of binding oath. But perhaps he had done something to ensure their loyalties without them knowing. It was Dumbledore after all.

"Thank you all. Now before I begin I should just remind you that this agreement isn't mandatory. It is strictly volunteer only and no one will think any less of you should you choose to turn it down," Dumbledore said. His half-moon glasses sat upon his crooked nose. Lily wondered who broke his nose, because Snape's nose turned out the very same way.

"The reason I summoned you all here today is because I have an offer to make you. And forgive me, because I know it asks a lot of you, but I still am asking no less. I am asking you all to join the Order of the Phoenix," he said. And as if it was planned out, Fawlkes cried out a beautiful song of wonder and hope.

"The what?" "What's a phoenix?" "Is it dangerous?"

"Quiet please, as I finish explaining," he asked. Everyone stopped talking. Sirius' mouth hung wide open and his eyes bugged out considerably. "Thank you. Now the Order of the Phoenix is an organisation that is resisting the group known as Death Eaters. That very same group that is headed by Lord Voldemort himself." Again gasped and whispers of surprise filled the room.

"You mean it's true then, sir, what the Prophet is saying. About how a secret group is out there working behind the scenes?" Alice Longbottom called out. She looked worried. She held her husband's hand as she awaited Dumbledore's response.

"It's true," he spoke. "And I'd like to give you all a place in our ranks."

"In exchange for what?" a voice asked. Lily turned and saw Peter. He looked nervous speaking up in front of the whole group, but still he spoke again. "You said it was an agreement."

"Well spotted, Mr Pettigrew, I did say that. In exchange for a place in the Order I'd like your loyalty. Complete and unchanging loyalty at all times," Dumbledore said looking dead serious. "I did say that it wasn't a good deal, but Voldemort must be stopped and the Ministry isn't doing very much about it. The Order is the only way he can be slowed."

"What do you mean? The Ministry is working us day and night trying to hunt down Dark Wizards. And we catch 'em too. We're doing plenty," Frank Longbottom called out, obviously furious and proud of his job.

"You misunderstand me, Frank. I am not putting the Aurors down, not at all, I am simply saying that a handful of powerful wizards and witches under strict regulations are no match for hundreds of equally powerful wizards and witches using Dark Magic," Dumbledore explained. Frank and Alice calmed down a bit after his words, but Frank still had a firm look on his face.

"Sir?" Remus asked. "What did you mean by slowing Him down? I thought we are trying to stop him." The room fell quiet and all heads turned to Dumbledore, who looked like someone does when a child confronts them about the truth of Santa Claus.

"All of you are old enough to handle this, but I apologise for my bluntness. The truth is: no one alive can defeat Voldemort," he said. There were no gasps of shock, no whispers relaying fears. Just deafening silence.

"So that's it then? He wins?" Benjy said, breaking the silence.

"No. I don't pride myself on being a Seer, but I know that all tyrants fall. May it be weeks, months, or even years during their reign, but they always fall," Dumbledore said.

"Why can't you fight him? You defeated Grindlewald, didn't you? And no one thought it to be possible," Mary asked. Dumbledore's face tightened and his jaw clenched.

"Lightning never strikes the same tree twice," Dumbledore spoke calmly.

"They say you are the only person that You-Know-Who fears. And that you are the most powerful wizard of all time. Surely you could take him down," Mary continued.

"Grindlewald and Voldemort are two very different cases. Voldemort delved into realms of magic that Grindlewald wouldn't have dreamt of. And I am fighting and resisting and protecting. But fate has chosen it's path and I have no right to interfere," Dumbledore said. He spoke fiercely, like he had something to prove.

"So by joining we would go out and fight Death Eaters?" Marlene said.

"Yes. All anonymously and inconspicuously. And once again, none of you are forced to join. If you are a current 7th year than officially joining will have to wait until you graduate," Dumbledore said. Again everyone looked around at each other. This time it was Sirius who spoke first.

"Where do I sign up?" he asked, holding his head high. Dumbledore smiled at him.

"A verbal agreement shall suffice, Mr. Bl- Sirius. Are there any others willing to join our cause?" Dumbledore asked. Sirius looked rather pleased with himself after being the first to join and Dumbledore correcting himself.

"I'd like to join," Lily said.

"Me too," James piped up.

"Me three," Marlene said.

"Same with me. I'm in," Remus added.

"Me as well," Dorcas said.

"I'd love to join," the man Lily didn't recognise said. He was tall with a square, hard set jaw and straw coloured hair. His eyes seemed unforgiving and tough.

"I'm in," Benjy Fenwick said.

"Hear hear," Fabian and Gideon said cheerfully.

"I'd love to join," Emmeline added in.

"So am I, sir," Cardoroc Dearborn told the group. After Cardaroc spoke, no one else did for a bit.

"Thank you all, I truly cannot express how much this means to me. As for the rest of you, I thank you for coming," Dumbledore said to the remaining few who hadn't spoken.

"Wait, wait I'm going to join," Alice Longbottom said. She turned to her husband, hoping he'd follow her.

"Yes alright, I'm in as well. But our jobs as Aurors comes first," he told Dumbledore, who simply nodded expectantly. Peter turned to survey the room, the room full of brave people he didn't understand. He looked nervous as he stood there.

"I need to join too!" he burst out. Everyone looked at him, unsure of what his words meant. His nervousness now seemed misplaced, as if he was waiting for them to call him out.

"Alright then is that all?" Dumbledore said. Everyone turned expectantly towards Mary MacDonald, the only person who hadn't spoken. She seemed to shrink under their gaze. "Thank you for coming and 7th years I'll hold another meeting just after graduation for you. Graduates will be sent more information about our next meeting." A chorus of 'Thank you's and 'Goodbye Headmaster's were a plenty as the group exited his office.

"Lily. James. Will you stay behind a moment?" he asked.

"What is it, sir?" James asked when the room emptied.

"You both remember the attack in Hogsmeade a year and a half ago?" Dumbledore spoke carefully. James remembered it very well. He remembered his father's empty glazed over stare and hollow voice when he decided to speak every other week, "I have been thinking about how attacks in recent days, have become constant and more deadly than before." Dumbledore looked down at the open Daily Prophet on his desk. The page had a picture of a burning building, Muggles dead and mutilated on the streets beside it. Lily gulped and returned her eyes to look at Dumbledore's brilliant blue eyes.

"I think it would be prudent to stop student trips to Hogsmeade Village," he said. James' eyes bulged and Lily's jaw dropped a bit.

"Hogsmeade, sir? But- well- it's Hogsmeade!" James said, having trouble articulating in his shock. Lily, somehow, regained her composure with a bit more grace than James had.

"It makes sense," she said. James turned to her, looking mutinous, "If they wanted to stage an attack on the school, they'd be forced to enter through Hogsmeade."

"Why would they want to take the school?" James asked.

"Loads of reasons, I suppose. To prove they can, to control the children, as a scare tactic, or even to get back at Dumbledore," Lily said. She looked at her Headmaster, seeing a mixture of emotions on his face.

"Well sure, but what about Remus!? Where will he go to transform?" James said, coming to a shout. Dumbledore looked between James and Lily with a careful demeanor.

"She knows?" he asked simply. James nodded.

"Remus told her, well she figured it out herself back in 5th year, and Remus confirmed it with her. Obviously she wouldn't say anything, but you didn't answer my question."

"We could arrange special circumstances for Mr. Lupin. Guards even, if necessary," Dumbledore said. James frowned. "The safety of the students are of upmost importance."

"Nowhere is safer than Hogwarts!" James reminded him.

"Correct, as of now, but it isn't impossible to overpower. A place is only as strong as those fighting to keep it," Dumbledore said.

"Okay, so say we stop Hogsmeade trips, what does that do for anyone? The students won't be ambushed in an attack, sure, but the Death Eaters can still easily enter the village and trek up to Hogwarts," James pointed out.

"We have multiple precautionary guards placed throughout the village and I have alerted the shop owners of the possibility of another attack." Dumbledore stood up from his chair and paced back and forth. "I told you both that a lot would be expected of you and that remains the same."

"We know sir, but stopping Hogsmeade trips just seems wrong. I get your point and all, but couldn't you just place anti-Apparation spells around the village? Or do something else, anything else, because stopping visits won't do a thing!" James argued. Lily didn't know why James was getting so upset over it, maybe something to do with his father's near death? She didn't know.

"Hogsmeade is a village, it wouldn't be my place, as Headmaster of this school, to charm a village, despite any good intentions I might have," Dumbledore explained. "My power resides in Hogwarts. And my job is to educate and protect all students of the school."

"You mus be joking! You've got more titles than I can remember! Chief Warlock of Wizenmigot and loads of others. You probably got more power than the Minister himself! You could've been the Minister yourself actually, but you decided to take up being a school teacher. We ought to be fighting, not cancelling silly trips. It's cowardly!" James yelled.

"James calm down," Lily said. She tugged on his arm.

"It's alright, Lily. But no James, it wouldn't be my place to interfere with the Minister or with Hogsmeade. As for my decision to turn down Minister of Magic on several occasions, I like to think that it was my finest and lest cowardly moment yet. Teaching is my passion and I agree with you. We ought to be fighting and we are fighting. The Order lives and breathes to resist and protect, but for now I have made my decision. Hogsmeade trips have been cancelled, I just thought I'd let the two of you know," Dumbledore said.

"Right well, thanks sir. James and I, well we'd best be going," Lily said with a nervous smile.

"Until next time, Lily," her Headmaster said with a smile. James and Lily left the room without another word. James was obviously brooding about something and Lily didn't know how to talk to him about it without getting into a huge row. So they walked back in dead silence.

"Treacle Tart," Lily said to the tapestry. She never had changed the password, she really ought to get on that.

"Aren't you going to berate me, or something?" James asked. Lily looked up at him, pursing her lip.

"No," she replied.

"Oh." He took his glasses off and wiped them on his shirt, "Well are you mad at me?"

"No," she repeated. A bit confused and annoyed, she thought, but not mad. He put his glasses back onto his face.

"Why not?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why aren't you mad at me? I've just told off Dumbledore of all people. Merlin I'm a mess. I called him a coward," James said, looking a bit deranged. He ran a hand threw his hair.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why'd you tell him off like that? And we both know it isn't because you'll miss Hogsmeade so much," Lily asked.

"Well I dunno, I just got a lot pent up. Boring stuff really, you wouldn't want to hear," James assured her. Lily raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to keep talking. "Alright fine. It's just the world is so dark right now. Killings and attacks and tortures. You can't walk down the corridor without hearing a new story. A new tragedy really. And then Dumbledore says that he's cancelling Hogsmeade, a fun upbeat trip. A break from it all, you know. Even though cancelling the trip will only be helpful in an direct attack were to occur when students were there, but they wouldn't do that. Not when the number of purebloods are already dwindling. So it seems kind of pointless, wouldn't you say?"

"No it seems like a good precautionary measure to me-"

"But what about dates," James blurted out.

"What?"

"I shouldn't have said anything." James shook his head.

"But you did, so now you're going to tell me," Lily urged him.

"Haven't you ever wondered what it'd be like if we were together for real? Actually dating. As in with true dates to Hogsmeade and all?" James asked. The true answer was yes, but Lily didn't say a word. "Well I do, because you were right. I can't just pretend we didn't kiss. I can't forget that you fancy me. And I'm giving you your time, but if we ever are something real... something more... then I want it to go perfectly." And Lily, at that moment, felt her heart melt a bit. She felt like throwing her arms around this boy and staying there forever. But she couldn't do that, but she felt tears slipping from the corners of her eyes, falling down her cheeks.

"Oh Lily, I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I didn't mean- Merlin I'm sorry," James rambled. He brushed he tears from her cheeks and left his hand resting there.

"No, it isn't you... well it was. You- you're just so stupidly sweet and now I'm crying like a nutter," Lily said, choking out a laugh as she cried. James brought her in for a hug.

"You're no nutter. I'm a nutter really," he said. He made her smile with his simple reassurings and use of 'nutter'.

"We're both nutters. I made everything more complicated than it had to be. We fancy each other and two people who fancy each other should be together, but I'm so scared. Scared if we date than we'll break up or you'll die," Lily said.

"I get it, I don't know what I'd do if you died either. I'd- I just can't imagine life without you anymore. And I royally screwed up. I wouldn't take your feelings and fears into account and I was angry."

"You don't need to apologise for that again, James-"

"No I do. You accepted my apology, but you haven't forgiven me-"

"I forgive you," she said with a smile.

"You do?" he replied with a grin, "I just- I love you y'know."

"I know. And I'm ready," Lily told him, "For real this time."

And he kissed her. She could feel the smile on his lips and the heat and passion. His hands cupped her cheeks, her hands in his hair. Gentleness forgotten and an incessant need for each other was all that remained. Heat, love, neediness, and unspoken words were conveyed through their lips and hands. They were together and their sudden euphoria blocked out everything else for a few moments. And moments later, but it might as well have been years, they broke apart. Once again silly giggles were brought upon them. Lily didn't know how to describe her feelings, sure the fear was still there, lurking, but her pure joy were shining and taking over.

"I can't believe my luck sometimes," James said quietly. They sat together on the couch in their sitting room, Lily leaning her head on James' shoulder and James playing with her hair.

"Me either," she whispered back. Slowly with a few more kisses, the new couple fell asleep on that couch.

~James~ Living and Loving

He woke up, in the same clothes as the night before, with a smile still etched on his lips and Lily still leaning on his shoulder. And if it was possible, he got even happier. He watched her sleep on his shoulder for a few moments, beautiful in her peace. He planted a soft kiss on top of her head, not wanting to have to wake her. Minutes later, she stirred.

"James," she said. And it took him back to that Slug Club party where she said his name the same way for the first time. Now, it seemed, she'd say it that way for forever.

"Lily." He smiled at her, his crooked smile, the smile she used to despise. Now that same smile was the one she adored.

"Good morning," she said sleepily, leaning into him and curling up.

"A fantastic morning to you too, my love," James said cheerily.

"Fancy getting breakfast?"

"With you? Of course, although I'd love to stay here with you all day," he said.

"We could, it is a Saturday after all, but I'm half starved. We forgot about dinner last night," she reminded him. Right, he thought, but last night dinner was the furthest thing on his mind. And if Sirius had been there, James knew a crude joke would've come into play.

"Then let's go get some breakfast, yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, "but we'd better get changed. We don't want people getting the wrong ideas."

"I could give a damn about what other people think. Not when I'm so happy," James said.

"That's what I love about you, but I'm still getting changed," said Lily. She said love, not that she was in love with him, but she loves parts of him, and to James that was more than enough.

"Yeah," he said breathlessly. He knew she fancied him and was dating him (finally), but she truly cares for him (officially). He should've known seeing as she was one who cared about everyone. But this was different.

"Look! They're holding hands!" a Ravenclaw boy whispered as they passed.

"I told you they were together, I swore they were on the train!" his friend replied.

"Bloody hell! Lily and James, look at that!" a young Gryffindor said to no one in particular.

"James and Lily dating? It's about time, wouldn't you say?" a Hufflepuff relayed to a Slytherin.

"I suppose. I always thought they'd be good together. That is when they became friends. 'member they used to hate each other," the Slytherin replied with a smile.

Lily and James walked in between the tables in the Great Hall, to reach the spot where their friends sat. The same spot James and Marauders had sat every day since First Year. The spot where James had joined Peter, Marlene, Mary, Remus, Lily, and Sirius after he was sorted.

"What're you playing at?" Marlene demanded. "Holding hands, grinning like that. What're you doing?"

"Dating that's what," Lily said with a large grin.

"And when did this happen? And why haven't you told me already!?" Marlene said louder this time.

"Just last night and I would've told you right away-" Lily began. She caught James' glance.

"There's no excuse-"

"-but we were a bit preoccupied," Lily finished. Suddenly Marlene's scowl disappeared into a smirk.

"Well it's about time," Marlene conceded.

"Good deal," Sirius said, grinning at them.

"Not really for you though," Peter said. "You owe me ten Galleons."

"Bollocks, I forgot about that. Dammit, Wormy," Sirius said reaching into his pockets. He threw the wizarding coins onto the table and Peter grinned victoriously.

"What're you on about?" James asked.

"Well Prongs, don't be mad, but we might've had a bit of a ongoing bet about the pair of you..." Sirius explained. "We've had them for years. So we have a few questions about how it all played out."

"I did not participate," Remus said. Everyone turned to him. "Well one of us needed to have a bit of respect."

"Who initiated the first kiss?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not answering these questions. You all are blighters, besides you Moony," James said looking cross.

"I kissed him first," Lily said. James gave her a surprised look. He didn't think she would've liked a bunch of questions about their relationship, but here she was.

"What!?" Marlene exclaimed, "We are going to have a long conversation later. Blast this stupid Head dormitory thing." Marlene stabbed at her eggs a bit more viciously. She, obviously, didn't like being out of the loop.

"That's 3 Galleons, Meadows," Sirius said in a singsongy voice.

"Merlin's beard, who'd've thought?" Dorcas shook her head. She handed the coins over to Sirius, who was still out 7 Galleons.

"Tell us, was last night your first kiss together?" Sirius went on.

"No," Lily answered.

"Cough up Mary. That'll be four Galleons. And Sirius that's a Galleon and 6 Sickles," Dorcas said with a smile. Mary and Sirius groaned and handed over the coins.

"No!? Well when was it then!?" Marlene shouted, earning a very stern look from McGonagoll. "Sorry, Professor."

"September 1st, was the first one," she continued.

"This September..."

"Yes, for God's sake. Last September we were hardly friends," Lily exclaimed.

"Ha! I told you they both came in looking a bit too flustered when they came into the compartment!" Marlene said, "That's two Galleons and 3 Sickles from you Pettigrew!"

"But I don't got any Sickles on me," he said.

"Shame, I suppose 3 Galleons will be fine until you get me my Sickles," Marlene said with a grin. Peter frowned and handed her the Three Galleons reluctantly.

"Exactly how preoccupied did you two get?" Sirius asked with a smirk. James felt a blush on his cheeks. This was a completely inappropriate conversation to be having.

"That, my friend, is between Lily and I," James interrupted. They hadn't done anything more than snog for awhile, but James wanted to keep that part of the night for him and her only.

"Any more bets that need settling?" Lily asked amused.

"None at the moment, but I'm sure we'll think of plenty more..." Sirius said with a wink. Lily winked back at him, much to the displeasure of James who unknowingly had a scowl on his face.

"Prongs I think your girlfriend may have a thing for more than one Marauder," Sirius said with a grin.

"Well I can't help that Remus is so bleeding handsome." Lily threw another wink out, except this time to Remus, "And Peter has to be the most charming in the lot of you. What can I say, my heart is torn." Everyone roared in laughter, besides James and Sirius.

"How about I patch that heart up for you then?" James said. Lily opened her mouth to respond, probably to say something incredibly witty, but James cut her off with his lips. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was enough to steal the breath of Lily Evans.

"A room," Sirius said, "Go get one." James heard laughter around them, but James only had eyes on Lily, and she had eyes for only him. He'd never get used to her looking into his eyes with such a longing. Then a pain embodied him. A stinging right in his back. He released an involuntary sound of pain and Lily's concerned eyes followed his.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Stinging Jinx to the back," he told her. He turned around, trying to locate the culprit.

"Looks like someone didn't like the display of affection too much, did they?" Sirius said. James looked to where Sirius had his eyes trained and saw Severus Snape bustling out of the Great Hall, stuffing something into his robes, with a scowl present on his face.

"He isn't going to like the hex I get him back with much either," James said, standing up. Lily reached and grabbed his arm.

"No James. He isn't worth it," Lily told him, but James' anger wasn't flattened yet, "You're Head Boy now. You can't just go off duelling in the corridors."

"Right right," James muttered, sitting back down. But James wasn't going to let Snape get away with it. James placed his arm around Lily's shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

"You're okay, right?" Lily asked, her eyes still showing her concern. He loved that she was concerned, not the actual concerned part, but it showed the extent to which she cared.

"Better than okay. I have you next to me, don't I?" he said with a reassuring smile.

"You'll have to quit saying such sweet things to me or I'll be crying all the time," Lily said with a smile.

"And I'll be puking all the time," Marlene said under her breath. James sent her a playful glare, before returning his attention to his lovely girlfriend.

"You bring it out in me, love," he replied, smiling even wider. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"What happened to the room you were getting?" Sirius dragged out.

"Oh shove off," James said with a grin.

"I promised you all we'd be doing something fun this week, did I not?" Professor Fawley announced to the class. James grinned at him, they were friends one might say. Neighbors, friends, but now he was the teacher and James the student. James didn't mind though, quite the opposite, he enjoyed Maverick's classes. Especially seeing as none of the 7th Year Slytherins, except Snape were in their class this year. So they were entertaining to say the least, but usually entertaining classes don't have Flitwick as a surprise guest. And James told Lily so.

"Just because you didn't get an Outstanding on your Charms OWL doesn't mean Professor Flitwick himself is boring," Lily replied.

"Still what are we doing that requires two Professors?" he asked and Maverick answered for him.

"This week we will be learning the Patronus Charm. Have any of you heard of this Charm?" Maverick asked the class. A few girls were giggling as he spoke, something about Mav being a good looking bloke.

"It's the charm that wards off Dementors, sir," Remus answered.

"Very good. That'll be 5 points for Gryffindor," Maverick said. "Anyways I've asked Professor Flitwick to assist me in the teaching of this particular charm, seeing as it is one of the most difficult charms, which very few witches and wizards can boast of accomplishing."

"Bet I can do it," Sirius said to James with a grin.

"Wanna bet who can master it quicker?" James asked, "5 Galleons for whoever masters it first. 10 if the other person fails."

"You're on Prongs," Sirius said.

"Now before I teach you the incantation I should tell you something: this charm is peculiar. In order to master it you must feel it. And many spells work in the same way. As I taught you the other day, the only people who can master Unforgivable Curses are those who feel enough anger and hatred to use them. But the peculiar thing isn't the feeling, but the fact you must think of your most powerful happy memory. The happiest you've ever been and use that happiness to create your defence," Maverick said. He spoke with such glee as if he was reminiscing his own happiest memory. "As for the incantation, I thought Professor Flitwick would be kind enough to tell you all." He motioned to Flitwick who stood in front of the class.

"Wands away everyone, for a moment please," Flitwick said, "Thank you, now repeat after me: Expecto Patronum." There was a chorus of 'Expecto Patronum's and a few saying it wrong as well. "Let's try that again except think of that happy memory. Let it consume you, think of nothing else. Again."

"Expecto Patronum," James said. He let his memories fill him up. He couldn't think of just one good memory. He supposed he was lucky in that respect. He thought of meeting Sirius on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, of the day he became friends with Lily, the day the Marauders finally became Animagi, the moment Lance Stillsap caught hold of the Snitch winning the Quidditch Cup, the day Lily kissed him, and a million others. His felt a smile come to his face and he glanced to Lily on his left and saw the same giddiness on her face.

"Can we try with our wands now?" James asked.

"I don't see why not. But remember to use your happiest memory and let it fill you up. Block any bad thought, any fear or insecurity," Maverick said with a light smile.

"Expecto Patronum," James said. He focused on the day he was made it onto the Quidditch team. A small white wisp exited his wand, curling and brightening the room. James was disappointed it didn't work, but he looked around and no one had got any further than he had. Most people didn't even reach the white wisp that James had procured.

"Hold up everyone. I think a demonstration is in order. We ought to give you an idea on what it should look like," Maverick said. Him and Flitwick stepped forward, both brandishing their wands.

"Expecto Patronum!" they both said loudly. A horse emerged from the tip of Maverick's wand and a sleek seal emerged from Flitwick's. Both animal's emitted a whitish glow and lit up the room.

"Wow," said Marlene. And that was the general consensus. They were amazing, Patronuses were.

"Now keep trying. Concentrate on that memory," Maverick told them all.

"Expecto Patronum!" Lily said, after her third try a large white animal burst out of the tip of her wand, the same way it had for Maverick and Flitwick. James watched the animal, it was a doe. He watched as it gracefully pranced about the room. He saw the excitement play out on her face. He watched their teachers congratulate her. James was elated for Lily. She had been the first of the class to accomplish the Charm.

Everyone kept praticing, some had the wispy white smoke that James had got and others had nothing at all. Snape, however, was the second one to accomplish the Charm. And his result, made James' blood boil. It was a doe, same as Lily's. Same elegant prance and beautiful grace. He even saw Lily smile for a moment when she saw Snape's Patronus. James hated it. He hated how Flitwick muttered 'Interesting...' after watching the two student's Patronuses. He hated the pleased look on Snape's face. He hated how James couldn't do it himself.

"Expecto Patronum!" James said with the same excitement as Maverick had. He chose the day he met Sirius. The white was more than a wisp now, it formed a sort of shield type thing. It earned him a clap on the back and some cheering, but it wasn't enough for James. Sirius had reached the same stage as him, both with white glowing non-corporeal Patronuses. Maverick told him not to worry, that most people never get it, and that was great for his first day. James wanted more.

Between classes he snuck off to bathrooms and his dormitory to practice the Charm. He felt so inexplicably happy each time his charm got better, stronger, clearer. Never corporeal though. After classes ended for the day, James rushed off to Maverick's classroom.

"Mav!" he said as he pounded on the door.

"One moment!" Maverick shouted back. The door swung open. Maverick stood there, out of his work robes, wearing a black shirt with The Beatles written across the front and Muggle jeans. James paid it no mind though, he had come for a reason.

"Alright there James?" Maverick asked.

"Me? Yeah I'm fine, I- I just need some help," James rambled.

"With your Patronus?" his friend asked him. "Why don't we just wait until next class to continue that-"

"No, not that. I need to ask you about the meaning of Patronuses," James said quickly.

"Alright come on in then." Maverick ushered him inside. When James had taken a seat, Maverick went on, "What do you want to know?"

"Well everything you could tell me would be useful," James said.

"Alright, any particular reason you are so interested?" James didn't respond. "It wouldn't have anything to do with lovely Miss Evans, would it?" Maverick asked.

"Could you just tell me? Please," James said.

"Sure thing. So all Patronuses are said to reflect the owner's soul. My Patronus is a Bay Mare, which basically represents intelligence, courage, and loyalty. And the information I'm telling you is based off of Harlock's Patronus Theory. A captivating read if you are so interested. Miss Evans and Mr. Snape's Patronus would suggest that they are both fiercely protective of their loved ones, sensitive, graceful, and vigilant-"

"He isn't," James interjected, "Lily is all of those things and more, but not Snape. Snape is cruel and hateful and callous." Maverick looked taken aback at James' outburst.

"I don't know Mr. Snape nearly well enough to determine his character, but Harlock's theory suggests that-"

"Well then Harlock's theory is wrong! Because Snape isn't like Lily at all. Not in the slightest!" James said loudly. Maverick didn't say anything for a moment, he waited for James to calm down.

"What I was going to say was that Harlock's theory suggests that not everyone's Patronus reflects their soul. Sometimes, when a subject has an emotional upheaval, typically falling in love or mourning the loss of a loved one, their Patronus will take shape of an animal that compliments their loved one. I'm not indicating that Mr. Snape is in love with Miss Evans, but-"

"He is. He's in love with her, I'm pretty sure. So that's why their Patronuses match?" James asked.

"It could be. Or it could be the other way around. This is all speculation of course, but why are you so interested in the two of them? Are they dating?" Maverick wondered.

"What!? No! Lily, well she's my girlfriend," James began nervously.

"You sure?" Maverick said. James looked at him, bewildered, "I only mean you didn't say it with your usual confidence."

"Yeah, I'm sure. It's just new and all, I'm sort of in awe about it. Anyways, Snape is a conniving bastard who has been hellbent on ruining our lives. He hates me and believe me, the feeling is mutual, but him and Lily used to be best friends until he called her a you-know-what. And when they were best friends, she didn't like me very much, but I fancied her. Then a while back, Lily punched him in the face, because he was insulting me and my mates. But now me and her are dating and he hexed me the other day when we were snogging. He's bitter I suppose, but I don't really care." James' words came out rapidly as he spoke. Except he did care. He cared so much that Snape liked Lily. Liked her possibly as much as James did.

"Forget that I asked," Maverick said with a chuckle. A question popped into James' mind.

"Wait, so if I'm in love with Lily, does that mean my Patronus would be a doe also?" James asked.

"It is hard to say for sure, but I don't think so. Why don't I give you Harlock's book so you can read all up on it yourself. I'm sure you'll find every answer you need in there," Maverick said.

"Right thanks Mav, sorry to bother you," James said.

"Not an issue." Maverick handed him the book, "See you around James and give your mother my love."

"Yeah, bye Mav," James said, and he rushed out the door. He ran through the corridors, up all the stairs, and straight up towards the secret Head Dorm entrance.

"Treacle Tart," James said. They really ought to change the password. He swung the door handle and rushed inside where he slammed into the only other inhabitant of the dormitory. She laughed as they collided.

"James!" she said in surprise. She pulled his face down for a chaste kiss, melting James' worries down. Then she continued talking, "Where have you been all afternoon?"

"Oh just around," he said as casually as possible.

"You've always been a horrible liar. What's this anyways?" she said, taking Maverick's book from his hands. "'Arnold Harlock's Theory on Patronuses and Souls'. Interesting, but what's more interesting is why you're reading it when you don't have to." She cocked an eyebrow at him in a quizzical way and James knew he'd have to tell her.

"Alright well I've been to talk to Maverick-"

"Professor Fawley," Lily corrected.

"Right, so I've been to talk to him about the meaning of Patronuses and he gave me this book to answer all my questions," James said, earning another quizzical look, "and I know it was a bit irrational, but I was wondering why Snape's Patronus matched yours and what that meant."

"What- what does it mean?" Lily stuttered. Clearly that wasn't what she had been expecting.

"Well it means the bleeding berk is obsessed with you," James said.

"James-"

"Well it's either that or it means Snape is just as sensitive, graceful, and protective as you," James said defencively.

"Why d'you even care if his Patronus matches mine? It's you I'm dating, not him. Not anyone else," Lily established, "It's you and me. No one is getting in our way again." James let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

"You and me," he repeated with a smile, "I'm sorry about that all. I just hate any connection he could have with you."

"You really are a bit irrational sometimes," she told him.

"Only about you."

"Is that a good thing?" she said with a laugh.

"You're a good thing," he whispered, pulling her into a hug. The best thing that's ever happened to me, he added silently. They swayed back in forth in a silent dance.

"We're a good thing," she whispered back.

"Of course we are. I've been trying to tell you for years," James said. He spun her around as they danced, bringing an even larger smile to her face.

"I forgot how good of a dancer you are," Lily said.

"Mum made me take private lessons as a kid," James told her, "I hated it, but I suppose it paid off if you love to dance so much." James remembered the dance lessons vividly. He despised them, but his mother always told him that they would come in handy one day and he reckoned that she was right. He ought to thank his mother the next time he sees her.

"Your Mum's the best," Lily said. "Sweetest woman ever."

"Don't you remember the time she sent me a Howler in Third Year? All of that just for flooding the Charms corridor," James said in a joking tone.

"Oh I remember. I was so mad at you, because Charms was cancelled that day," Lily said, laughing as she remembered the simplicity of their old problems.

"Sirius and I hadn't even been caught yet and my mum ratted us out to the whole school. We had a few detentions that we could've got out of back then," James continued.

"How horrible," Lily said sarcastically, "Detentions for the Marauders. It's practically unheard of!"

"Very funny, I just thought my girlfriend would want to hear my emotional upheaval-"

"From four years ago," Lily added.

"-that is really quite devastating and mentally scarring."

"Says the boy who told me his favourite spot for detentions was the Trophy Room," Lily said with a smirk. She watched James faking his pout. "But if it really means so much to you, I know what'll help erase those mental scars."

"Oh yeah?" he said, humouring her. Lily leant in and quickly kissed his lips, before pulling away to see his reaction.

"That was exactly what my Healer told me. A snog from your girlfriend will fix it all," James said grinning.

"Charming, truly," Lily said.

"I thought Peter was the charming one?" James replied.

"I thought you wanted a snog?" Lily asked.

"You're right. I do," James said. He leant down to her, pressing his lips onto hers. Feeling her sigh into his mouth. Their lips moving together and their arms wrapped around one another, gripped tightly. He revelled in the feeling. The euphoria in it all. Living and loving Lily Evans was all he needed.

**AN: Romance... yuck. Hoped you liked it. Reviews are appreciated or feel free to PM me.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Stag and Doe

If you asked Lily how her life was playing out, then she'd answer very simply: 'I don't think I've ever been happier'. She didn't know of course that her life was very soon going to crash and burn around her. But some people say ignorance is bliss and Lily was definitely blissful. She had everything she could've asked for and everything she didn't know she needed.

"Listen to this," James said, ushering her over to him, "'The Patronus Charm acts like a guardian when the Patronus is conjured. Patronuses are completely made of happy and good memories, which unlike humans, do not have any despair for Dementors to feed on. And seeing as all Dementors are under Ministry control, currently guarding Azkaban, then the use of a Patronus Charm may never be needed for defensive purposes. If you'd like to read about the other uses for Patronuses, then turn to Page 283.' Pretty cool, yeah?"

"Yes actually. Professor Fawley never mentioned any other uses for Patronuses. Go on and turn to page 283," Lily said. James kissed her on the top of her head.

"I would but we've got a meeting with the Prefects before Defence. Why don't we just ask Maverick about it in class later?" James offered, closing his book.

"Right, we'd better hurry. We ought not be late to our own meeting," she said. The bustled down the hallways, turning into the Prefect's Room just before anyone else got there. They had barely sat down when someone knocked. James stood up and opened the door to see Amelia Bones standing there.

"Is it alright- er- if I came in," she mumbled. She looked between the Head Boy and Girl embarrassed by their previous encounter.

"Of course, here comes everyone else anyways," Lily said, with a growing blush on her face too. Once everyone was seated, Lily motioned for James to begin the meeting.

"Right so thank you all for coming. It's been a bit over a week since we had our last meeting and we just wanted to hear from you how it has been going," James said with a warm smile.

"Patrolling's been good. Plenty of people locked up in broom cupboards after hours though," Remus said.

"We're just lucky we haven't walked in on James and Lily yet," a 5th Year Prefect said in the back with a smirk. The room laughed and James grinned at Lily.

"Very funny everyone, but James and I aren't frolicking in broom cupboards. We have reputations to uphold and rules to follow," Lily said with a false cheeriness. She didn't like people who didn't know her to comment on their relationship. No one else piped up to speak after the 5th Year, so Lily spoke.

"James and I have, however, been talking to the Headmaster about patrolling. And he agrees with us that we should increase the number of people patrolling each night for safety purposes," Lily said. And the room exploded with noise.

"What!? I've already got O.W.L.'s to worry about. Now this!"

"I'm never going to sleep this year!"

"This isn't fair!"

"I didn't sign up for this!"

"C'mon, McGonagoll's already hounding me for being late on homework. I'll never have any time now!"

"Shut up everyone!" James yelled, "Haven't you realized that we have got to stick together? We've got to keep people safe before it's too late. Haven't you all been reading the Prophet? People are dying every single day. And if you can't wrap your heads around that and suck up an extra hour of patrolling then turn in your badge!" The room turned dead silent after that.

"The world... well it isn't a game out there," James added, much more calmly. Again, the silence fell, but Lily couldn't handle waiting for another outburst or more unbearable silence.

"I have a pile of the Patrolling Timetable over on the table for you all. Then you all can go," Lily said to the group. Everyone bustled over to grab thr parchment before leaving. Remus hovered around the doorway, searching for Lily's eyes. She gave Remus a look to say 'I got this one' and he nodded before leaving.

"You okay?" Lily asked. James looked at her and took her hand in his.

"It's a lot of pressure. I've got to be Head Boy when nobody wants to listen to me. I'm the Captain for Quidditch, but no one can seem to get any of our plays right. Me included. I've got a load of NEWT level classes to study for, but I just can't find the time or willpower. Every morning I read the damned Daily Prophet and just read these names in the obituary section of so many people I know- knew. Tortures and murders and horrible attacks all the time from people who hate people like you or Moony. Then I see you standing next to me, holding my hand and my heart sinks," James said, sounding depressed. Lily's heart sank too as he said that.

"My heart sinks so damn far, because I want a future with you. Even just now, some days I just want to stay in our rooms. Let go of our responsibilities for a day and just be kids. I want to pull pranks with the boys and go on real dates with you. I just want things to be okay," James said. His voice reminded Lily of that of a small child. James leant his head on Lily's shoulder and Lily pulled him closer, silently thanking him for just existing. Simply for being.

"I- I wish things were okay too. I want us to have a future too. And we will James Potter. It's you and me, right? I'll fight every last Death Eater to make sure of it. Every person who has an issue with werewolves, or Muggles, or Blood Traitors," Lily told him. He lifted his head up, blinked away his tears, and smiled at her.

"And James," she said.

"Yeah?"

"If your classes are too much on you, then you can drop some of them. It isn't like you'll need them after we graduate," Lily told him, "Y'know to take away some of the pressure."

"Maybe," James said with a noncommittal shrug. "Y'know you could use your own advice too. You've got Head Girl, NEWTs, President of the Charms Club, and all the purists are beings arses to you. It's- you've got a lot going on too."

"I know, but you and the girls and the other Marauders make it all better. And James, we better get to Defence before we are too late. I'm sure Fawley won't dock points yet," Lily said standing up.

"D'you think we'll be alright?" James asked, "After the war and all?"

"As in still alive or still together?" said Lily.

"Both."

"Wherever or however we end up, I know we'll be there together," Lily told him, squeezing his hand. "Now we have to go to Defence Against the Dark Arts together, yeah?"

"Yeah let's go," James said, not looking so sad anymore.

"Sorry we're late Professor. James and I had some Head duties to finish discussing," Lily said as they entered the classroom. There were a few snickers after Lily spoke, but she didn't care. She shot James a wink, trying to get him to smile at her, and it worked.

"That's alright, but please do take your seats. We are practicing Patronuses again today," Professor Fawley said. Louise Clagg, a Ravenclaw in their year, almost swooned at their teacher. And Louise wasn't the type of girl who'd usually go about fancying a teacher, but Lily had to admit that Professor Fawley was very handsome. He had rugged dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He had a thin long scar down the left side of his face, emphasizing his jaw bone. So yes, Lily knew her teacher was handsome, but in her eyes there wasn't anyone better than James. James... he was devilishly handsome himself. He was tall and strong with unruly jet-black hair, fiery hazel eyes, and a crooked grin that warmed her heart. She smiled to herself as she stared at James. He was so much more than looks though. He was brave (borderline stupid) when it came to someone he cares about. He's incredibly smart and funny. He gives the warmest hugs and says the sweetest things. He made her heart flutter every time he enters the room.

"Miss Evans?" Professor Fawley said to her. The class stared at her and a blush rose to her cheeks, a blush that had nothing to do with her teacher. "Did you hear what I said?"

"No, sorry Professor. What is it?" she replied.

"Could you demonstrate your Patronus for us?" he asked her again. She nodded quickly and took out her wand. She snuck another glance at James, who was grinning his grin, and she was filled with the happiness she needed for the charm.

"Expecto Patronum!" she shouted. Thoughts of James swirled in her head and heart as her silvery doe emerged from the tip of her wand. It pranced around the room with incredible grace before dispersing.

"Very good," Professor Fawley said with an applause. "Everyone if you want to produce a full bodied, otherwise known as a corporeal Patronus, then you must push all other bad memories out." Everyone began saying the incantation over and over. Lily watched James, his silvery wisps coming together and forming a large indistinct shape. She saw pure joy appear on his face even after the shape fell apart after only a few seconds. She rushed over to him.

"James! You did it!" she said.

"Yeah I- what d'you think mine is? I couldn't tell completely but it looked pretty big," he said excited. Sirius was next to him, practicing the charm himself.

"I dunno, keep trying it," Lily encouraged. She left James at his desk to concentrate and she approached their teacher who was surveying the room with pride on his face.

"'scuse me sir," Lily said.

"What can I do for you?" Professor Fawley asked.

"James and I were flipping through the book you lent him and we came across a part where it mentioned multiple uses for Patronuses. What are those other uses exactly?" Lily asked.

"Yes it's quite an interesting concept. Y'see besides warding off Dementors, Flavius Belby discovered that the charm wards off Lethifolds as well," he began.

"Lethifolds, sir?" Lily asked. She had never heard of such a creature.

"Oh they are rotten beasts. Cloaked like dementors, but they suffocate the victim and digest it. Nasty things, but rare so you'll never have to worry about them. As for another use of Patronuses would be to send messages," Fawley said, lowering his voice, "It's even harder and more complicated than conjuring a Patronus itself. I've never done it myself, just heard rumors. Rumors concerning the ways certain groups send messages so no one dabbling in the Dark Arts can intercept it."

"Why couldn't a Dark Wizard intercept it?" Lily asked.

"Patronuses, well they can't be conjured by anyone that isn't pure of heart. You need some sort of pureness and goodness in you for even the smallest wisp of a Patronus to manifest," her teacher explained.

"Do you know anyone who can use them for messages?" Lily asked, "Even just from a rumor."

After a moments thought, Fawley looked at her and spoke quietly again, "Try the Headmaster. There isn't anyone else more likely to be able to do it. But don't get discouraged if you can't do it, because as I said it's even more complicated than conjuring a Patronus in the first place."

"Right, well thank you sir," Lily said with a smile.

"Anytime, but you can call me Maverick. James does anyways-" Maverick began.

"Lily!" Sirius shouted, "Come here." Lily turned around and watched James' Patronus circle the room. It was a large, muscular, animal made of the silvery essence of the charm. Antlers protruded from it's head as it trotted around the room. Lily took out her wand and whispered the words, "Expecto Patronum."

She was so overjoyed just looking at James' Patronus that she hardly put any effort into her own, but it still emerged from her wand. Her doe found James' stag in the centre of the room. The two Patronuses nuzzled each other before fading away. Lily stood in awe. She found James' hazel eyes and beamed at him.

"Stag and doe," he whispered as he pulled her into a hug. His warm arms enclosed around her waist and Lily placed her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. A brief kiss, seeing as they were in class, but it conveyed every emotion she was feeling. Sirius let out a long whistle with a smirk on his face.

"Mature, Padfoot, very mature," Remus scolded playfully. James and Lily laughed, still caught up in their happiness. But someone in the room wasn't happy. Someone's beedy black eyes were squinted and their jaw clenched and their thin lips turned in a sneer. Lily didn't see that someone, who had hurt and anger playing out on their face. And she didn't see the anger win...

~James~ Words

"Ready for patrols?" James asked his girlfriend.

"Double patrols tonight which is just great," Lily said sarcastically, "because it isn't like we have a two foot essay due tomorrow on the Protean Charm or have to review for an exam on the 5 Principal Exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. And Professor Sprout says we're starting a new unit on the Whomping Willow. And Binns! Don't get me started on Binns! We've got-"

"I won't, but why don't you sit this patrol out, yeah? We've been patrolling every night and doing Double Patrols every other night and you look like you are dead on your feet- absolutely gorgeous- but exhausted," James tells her. She did look very tired and stressed.

"I can't skip patrolling. I'm Head Girl, I have to go. Otherwise the Prefects will think I'm not good enough or that they can just skip too!" Lily told him.

"The Prefects won't be skipping out and they aren't patrolling half as many nights as we are. They know that you are exhausted. We are Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test students after all," James reminded her with a grin. "Skip this one for me, okay? I'll be fine on my own for a bit. Nothing is going to happen anyway."

"Why do I have a feeling those are famous last words," Lily told him.

"Rubbish," he said with a grin.

"In movies, when people say stuff like that, something always happens to that person. Especially alone at night in an ancient castle with ghosts," Lily said with a small smile.

"I'll be okay. Now you stay here and sleep or catch up on your 2 foot Charms essay. If you want I can nick one of Madam Pomfrey's Sleeping Potions?" James said. Lily frowned at him. "Fine no nicking it is, but please try and sleep."

"Yeah alright, but wake me up when you get back, okay?" Lily tells him. James looks at her a moment, her tired exhausted overworked face, and knows he won't be waking her up in the middle of the night.

"Sure," he said regardless of his intentions, "See you later."

"Bye," Lily said. He knew she needed it.

Patrols were always boring. Double Patrols were even worse, especially because it had been Lily and his idea to have them in the first place. But he always had Lily to laugh at his stupid jokes or kiss him when no one was looking and instantly his night was ten times better. But tonight, Lily was sleeping so he was alone. He was surprised he even managed to get her to agree to stay back, but he was glad it worked. She was too stubborn to admit she needed the rest.

His thoughts were interrupted by a faint giggling noise coming from down the hall. The noise grew louder as he neared a broom cupboard. James groaned, he hated breaking up couples in broom cupboards. It sucked and seemed invasive. But James was Head Boy and he had a job to do, so he braved ahead and turned the knob on the cupboard. Locked and suddenly silent.

"Alohomora," James said, unlocking it. He swung the door open to see nothing. No people, no couples, no source of giggling. James frowned. "Who's there?"

"Oh it's just Prongs," a voice said sounding relieved. The Marauders threw the Invisibility Cloak off from over them and came out of the broom cupboard together. There they were: Remus, Peter, and Sirius.

"Oh good," Sirius agreed, "Well we'll be on our way now."

"What are you guys doing?" James asked. Where were they going and why was Remus not stopping them?

"Oh we need to pick up some Butterbeer because this cool 6th year was showing us how to play a Muggle drinking game. Beer Pong it's called. So we'll be off," Sirius said, "Later Prongs."

"Wait. You guys can't go off to Hogsmeade," James said.

"Why not?"

"It's against the rules and it's after curfew and you can't be drinking tonight. I can't just knowingly let you go. I'm Head Boy," James told them. He stared at his friends who just didn't seem to understand the responsibilities that Dumbledore entrusted him with. They weren't little kids anymore.

"Right, well Prongs, I'm glad you got your little speech done and all. So now your conscious is clear and we should really get going before Rosmerta leaves for the night," Sirius said, turning to go. James grabbed his shoulder.

"Didn't you hear me, you are not leaving the castle. You are not getting alcohol to play drinking games with and you are not going to break your curfew any more. You all should head back to Gryffindor Tower," James said sternly. Sirius let out a callous laugh.

"What makes you think I'm going to listen to you," Sirius asked.

"I'm Head Boy," James reminded him again.

"Right, because that stopped the lot of us so much in the past. I remember a time where our dearest Head Boy James was telling off Edgar Bones and laughing at the mere prospect off becoming a Head Boy to Millie Thompson. But here we are and I don't plan on letting it get in my way," Sirius said. His lips turned in a thin sneer.

"Times have changed and I grew up. I suggest you do the same," James said, gritting his teeth.

"You matured, is that it? Nothing to do with Lily of course. Because it isn't like you spend every minute of every day with her anyways," Sirius said with a scoff. That's when it hit James.

"That's what this is about!? It's about me having a girlfriend and wanting to spend time with her?"

"Yeah maybe it is. Maybe you forgot about us, your supposed mates. You left us in a second and the small times you are with us all you do is go on and on about your beautiful girlfriend. The love of your life. Apple of your eye. Lily 'I can do no wrong' Evans."

"Leave her out of this! You know what she means to me, and she isn't the problem. She was all of our friend for a year before me and her started dating. Your issue is with me! So have it out. Go on," James encouraged. He wouldn't stand Sirius bashing Lily. Not when he knows Sirius loves having Lily as a friend. Not when Sirius' issue was with James.

"Fine! Before a few weeks ago when Lily had a sudden lapse in judgement and started dating you, you were constantly thinking you had such catastrophic issues, because one girl wouldn't kiss your feet! When the rest of us have real issues! Real problems, but we shut up and let you ramble about your feelings. But now, now you've got everything," Sirius yelled. Remus and Peter looked worried in the background at the face-off between the two boys. Both of which had drawn their wands as a precautionary measure.

"We do the same things, you and I. We are both top of the class. Both Purebloods. Both star Quidditch players. Both have girls chasing after us. That should make us equals, but I'm the pariah! I'm the messed up one. I've got the shotty family! I've got the scars from being tortured and starved! I'm burnt off my own bleeding family tree! I'm the one with a broken heart that's been beaten over and over! I'm the one you all abandoned in 4th year! But you have everything in your life perfect! The family, the grades, the girlfriend, the Quidditch offer, the bloody Head Boy position. Not me though," Sirius told him off. James heard the words and hated them. He hated whatever truth Sirius was shouting.

"I didn't choose my life. I didn't choose any of it. Except I chose you all as friends. I've tried to help you all. What more could I do!" James demanded. Sirius scoffed.

"Right I forgot we were your little charity cases," Sirius sneered.

"You aren't my charity cases! The hell is that even supposed to mean? We're mates so get over yourself!" James said.

"Get over myself? That's what you think I should do? Just forget the torture, forget the pain. Forget my Slytherin brother who is becoming a damned Death Eater! Forget about my cousins and parents that plague my dreams every night! Well I can't. I can't just have everything I want, but that is probably a concept you aren't familiar with, isn't it!" Sirius shouted.

"You shut up!" James yelled back. He raised his wand higher, pointing it at his friend, but Sirius only smirked.

"You going to hex me? Is that it? Have I said something ickle James doesn't like? Has something not gone your way?" Sirius taunted.

"This conversation is done with. Head back to your dormitory now!" James told them. But his anger was strictly directed at Sirius. Remus and Peter ad done nothing wrong.

"No detentions to dish out?" Sirius asked with another cold smirk, "No house points to deduct? Not going to report me to dear Minnie, are we?"

"Return to your dorm and if you'd like a detention then I can arrange that," James said with a steely demeanor. He turned to Peter, who held his Invisibility Cloak, "Give it back to me... You all had no right to break into my room." Peter handed the Cloak over and no one said another word. Sirius smirked and started walking back towards Gryffindor Tower.

Just as Sirius was about to turn the corner he shouted, "I think Mr. Head Boy has let power go to his head!" Peter began walking after Sirius and Remus began too, but James called Remus back.

"Remus wait a minute," James said. Remus didn't say anything, but walked back to James. "Is that really what you guys think of me? That- that I treat you all like charity cases? And only care about Lily?" James felt weak as he spoke. Desperate even.

"Prongs we know you care about us all. And we know how much Lily means to you. Obviously your time is limited now with everything you've got going on, and Peter and I don't have an issue with you over that," Remus said carefully.

"You didn't answer the other question," James said quietly.

"Well, you've got to admit that you have a bit of a- well a fixing people complex," Remus replied, "It isn't a bad thing and we all know you mean well and that's just who you are."

"A fixing people complex," James repeated, "What's so wrong with wanting to help people? Sirius was saying how I only care about myself than saying I make you guys into charity cases. What's that supposed to mean? Do you all think that I'm only your friend to make myself feel good?"

"No, no of course we don't. Padfoot doesn't either. I don't know what's up with him," Remus said with a shrug.

"Yeah whatever. I've got rounds to finish. I'll see you," James said, brushing Remus off. He turned and continued down the hall, hating every single word Sirius said. And they all think he's got a 'fixing people complex' and James didn't see the issue. He just wanted to talk to Lily about it all, or maybe just have her hug him. Anything really.

As James finished his rounds he passed a window revealing the night sky. He looked at the visibility of the stars and the moon. The moon was was nearing being full and James' heart lurched. The full moon is in three days... How could he and Sirius work together to keep Remus under control when they weren't on good terms. James remembered back to certain full moon nights where Remus had been especially rowdy and they almost lost control of him. He knew that they couldn't let Remus get out of control. James and Sirius would have to work together. James hurried away from the window and to the tapestry.

"Treacle Tart," he said. He went through the door. He wanted to tell Lily about what had happened with Sirius, and she wanted him to wake her up, but she really needed to sleep. And so did he. He told himself he'd talk to her in the morning. When he, hopefully, would be a bit less angry about the whole encounter.

* * *

"James," a voice said, "James wake up, you big prat." James' eyes fluttered open. Getting a blurry glimpse of Lily's emerald green eyes that peered down over him. She had her hand on his chest, gently pushing him awake.

"Me? A prat? Why would you ever say such a thing?" James said groggily. He reached for his glasses, pushing them onto his nose, and clearly viewed a much less tired Lily Evans.

"That's because you are one, love. You were supposed to wake me up last night," she said lightheartedly.

"I didn't want to burden you with my woes," James replied, his smile falling as he remembered his encounter. Lily's face fell too, watching him looking more and more distressed.

"What happened?" she asked. She took his hand in hers, waiting for the details.

"Sirius and I had a row last night," James began. Lily looked at him expectantly, "I found them all holed up in a broom cupboard, hiding under my Invisibility Cloak which they stole from my room. They were heading over to Hogsmeade to get alcohol for a game. Maybe back in 5th year I wouldn't've minded, but this year I do. I'm Head Boy and things are dangerous out there. Sirius thought I was joking when I said they couldn't go. Then he got mad when I said I was serious. He said I changed and I said he should try growing up too. Then he somehow got mad that I spend so much time with you. Because that's really absurd, spending time with your girlfriend, classmate, and fellow Head Student. The audacity that I have!" His voice dripped with sarcasm and bitterness.

"What happened next?" Lily asked cautiously. He could tell she wasn't sure if she'd like what she heard.

"I told him to leave you out of it. You're his friend as well as my girlfriend and you did absolutely nothing wrong. He went off about how I know nothing about the issues that him, Remus, and Peter face. He was saying I would pout over you not liking me, but when we started dating it made my entire life perfect. He said that me and him did all the same things, but he still ends up the pariah. With his family and dating history. He said I make him and Remus and Peter out to be charity cases. I told him to get over himself, that they were my friends, of course I try to help them out. He said he couldn't forget his scars or broken heart or Death Eater family and all that. He accused me of not being able to handle not having everything I want. I told him to shut up and leave. He taunted me and went on about my 'perfect' life before he left." His voice cracked when he said that part. It just felt so wrong.

"I asked Remus if he reckoned that Sirius was right. About the whole me treating them like charity. And- and he said I've got a fixing people complex'." James ran a hand wildly through his hair.

"Oh James. I'm sure Sirius doesn't really think that of you. You are their friend, and you help them, that's what I love about you. You love your friends and hate seeing people in pain. Helping people isn't a bad thing, James," she reassured.

"I know, but he made me feel bad about it. He's my best friend and obviously he thinks that I have problems that I need to fix," James said, mussing up his hair.

"Y'know I reckon Remus was right about you. You do have a fixing people complex," Lily said grinning at James, "And if I know anything after hanging 'round with the Marauders then I know that you guys will make up, because you will fix it. You're the glue."

"I dunno, this time was different. He came after me when I didn't do anything to provoke him," James said. He let out a deep breath. "But we should probably get going, shouldn't we?" Lily nodded.

* * *

News that James and Sirius were fighting became common knowledge by noon. The Hogwarts gossip mill was working overtime, circulating numerous rumors about the spat between the two best friends. Most of the rumors centred around Lily. That Sirius had slept with Lily or snogged her or even got into a duel with her. All of them were absolutely bollocks. Students who had been around for a few years knew that this wasn't the first time a major argument wreaked havoc on the Marauders. The first time was in fourth year, when Sirius set Snape up to be attacked by Remus as a werewolf, thereby almost making Remus a killer and almost getting Remus' secret out. Eventually, however, the boys made up. It took time, but they did, and no one except the staff, the Marauders, and Snape knew what happened. This time, a whole three years later the argument is a whole lot more complicated. Remus and Peter were split between the two sides. In fourth year James' side was the obvious right side, but now Sirius only had an issue with James and nothing against the Remus nor Peter. The 7th year Gryffindor girls were fully backing James, mostly because of Lily, since they didn't even know the full extent of the argument. During meals, James sat with the girls and when Remus came over to speak with James, James politely told Remus that he could sit with Sirius without feeling guilty. During classes, Sirius moved his seat away from James and closer to Peter. Sirius wouldn't even look James in the eyes, a large change from the taunts James recieved the night before. And Lily was doing her best to help him forget about it all, but James couldn't. He wasn't sure what was going through Sirius' head. Jealousy perhaps, but he didn't know. He needed to speak with Sirius, but Sirius disappeared quickly after class and went straight up into the dorms.

The next day during Defence Against the Darks Arts, Sirius sucessfully conjured his Patronus. It was the Grim, a large shaggy haired black dog. Same as his Animagus. James read in 'Arnold Harlock's Theory on Patronuses and Souls' that Patronuses of tend to take the same shape as the caster's Animagus form. So James wasn't surprised. He was surprised however, when 5 Galleons showed up beneath his pillow that night with a brief note scratched out in familiar handwriting. The note read: Rule 20.

James racked his memory. Rule 20: A Marauder keeps his promises. Then it hit James. He and Sirius made a bet about their Patronuses and today Sirius fufilled it even though they weren't speaking. He almost began to smile when a incessant pecking began to hit his window. James looked up and saw his mother's owl waiting with a letter in it's beak. He opened the window, letting the bird inside and reaching for his supply of carrots for the owl to snack on after it's journey.

James Fleamont Potter,

What is this that Remus is telling me about the two of you? Why on Earth would you be fighting? You're as good as brothers after all! I want this all sorted out before you both come home for Christmas, preferably sooner than that, but I assume whatever it is it must mean a great deal to you both. And if whatever you are fighting over does not mean anything to you, then fix it immediately. The world is too dark of a place for such a wonderful friendship to die off. You both need all the support you can get and Sirius needs it even more so.

Anyways, I hope all is well with you as Head Boy. Remus also mentioned that Lily is now your girlfriend as well as Head Girl. So to that I say it is about time and you mustn't go messing things up with her. She is probably the best girl you'll ever meet and don't let your hot head get in the way of your heart! Hopefully Lily will keep you on track in school and as Head Boy. I'd hate for you to be the first Head Boy ever to lose his badge!

Lots of love,

Mum

P.S. Your father wants me to tell you to bring Lily around for Christmas again this year

James smiled at his mother's letter. He could almost hear her voice saying the words. But this was much better than actually hearing her voice in the words, such as in a Howler. He thought over what she had written and it occurred to him that the only thing James was mad at Sirius at was the fact Sirius was mad at him. Which, in his mother's words, doesn't mean a great deal to him. James figured that he should attempt to reconcile with Sirius by putting his pride aside and apologising. James wasn't even completely sure what he was apologising for but just that it was something he needed to do. Wow, James thought, Lily must really be rubbing off on me.

The Full Moon was tomorrow night and James was running out of time to get their relationship back onto speaking terms. He was exiting his dormitory when he quite literally ran into Lily. She gasped in surprise.

"I was just looking for you," she beamed. And James would never get tired of seeing that smile or hearing that voice. His smile reflected hers.

"And why is that, my love?" James asked.

"Does a girl need a reason to see her boyfriend?" Lily questioned.

"'Course not," he said.

"Where were you going anyways?" she asked.

"Over to the Marauder's dorm," he said, his smile falling.

"Y'know you're still a Marauder yourself. Don't let being Head Boy change that part of you completely," Lily said with a sad smile.

"I won't, but it just doesn't feel right to call it my dormitory anymore. Not when I stay here and Sirius to so mad at me," James replied, not smiling at all.

"Well go on then. Go apologise and don't mess it up, would you?" Lily teased.

"Never. James Potter doesn't mess up," James said with a wink. It was a much different dynamic than the one he had shared with Lily 2 years ago. Then she would've berated him for being so narcissistic, but now James only joked about his ego.

"Right," Lily said.

"Wish me luck," he said. She smiled at him.

"Good luck. I'm going to go hang out with the girls. Meet you here for patrols later?" Lily said.

"Yeah, have fun," he replied, before leaving out from the tapestry. His heart began to beat faster as he drew closer to the Gryffindor Common Room. He walked up to the Fat Lady, almost completely forgetting the Gryffindor Password. But thankfully, he remembered.

"Sano," he said. The door swung open and James saw the familiar buzzing Common Room. He saw Mary and Marlene coming straight towards him, probably going to see Lily.

"Hello ladies," James said with a friendly smile.

"James," Marlene said pleasantly. She passed by him, but Mary caught his arm.

"Look I know you are mad at me, but you've got to hear me out," Mary pleaded. "So listen-"

"Mad at you? Perish the thought. You've nothing but kind to me as my friends and I are well at-"

"A hiatus," she offered.

"I was going to say at odds, but that works too. Anyways, why would I be mad?"

"Well I just figured you were mad since I didn't join the Order," Mary said in hushed tones. She fidgeted as if the topic made her uncomfortable. James raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm not mad about the Order. You had a choice and not joining was a liberty you used," James assured her.

"Really? I just thought you all thought I was a coward. I just couldn't join a war where I'll be knowingly putting myself in danger when I've already been targeted a bunch at school. But that's besides the point. So anyways, I've been talking to Sirius and he's going through a tough time. He really needs you back, but he'll never admit it. Marlene, you, and Lily are all unaccessible to him as friends and- well the three of you might be the only ones who can help him," Mary said, brushing James' arm. "So just don't be all prideful and stuff. He needs you."

"Thanks Mary. I- I will fix things with him." James ran a hand through his hair. Mary smiled at him.

"Alright see you James. I'm off with Marlene and Lily," she said. She waved goodbye and left James in the Common Room that was still bustling with people. He spotted Hestia Jones in the corner, curled up in her favourite spot on the couch. James figured he should go say hi, or maybe he just needed a distraction before heading up to his old dormitory.

"Hestia," James called out. The black-haired girl looked up from her book and beamed at James. She waved him over to her and the spot beside her on the couch.

"Hey James," she said.

"What book are you reading?" he asked.

"Quidditch Through the Ages," she replied, "I'm aiming to be off the Reserves by next season." She looked determined and older than she had last year. Less of a rosy-cheeked little girl. Something about her eyes told James that she'd grown up. He supposed that war does that to you.

"I have no doubt that you will. It's practically unheard of, a second year making the House Team, even on Reserves," James said, nudging her with his elbow. She smiled at him.

"Didn't you make the Reserves in your Second Year?"

"Yeah, so you know just who's extraordinary footsteps you are following," James joked.

"No, because unlike you I'll actually be off the Reserves come my Third Year," she teased, sticking her tongue out. James reached over and mussed up her hair.

"I'll have you know that I was moved off the Reserves mid way through my Third Year," James said.

"Okay James," she said jokingly. "So what's the deal with you and Sirius?" James paled and his grin diminished. He couldn't say that he hadn't been expecting the question, because everyone had been asking him, but with other people he could just give them a scowl or a brisk response and brush them away. With Hestia, however, he would never do that. She was like a little sister to him.

"We had a bit of a spat," James began.

"You're telling me," she said, "The whole school has been buzzing about it for days."

"I know and that's why I came. I need to go smooth things over with him."

"I'm offended Potter. Here I was thinking you had come to chat with me," Hestia said mock-offended.

"That's why I came over here, silly," James replied.

"No you're here instead of with Sirius, because you're scared. You're procrastinating," she said with a knowing smile.

"I am not."

"Are too and you ought to go on and do it already, because I'd like to get back to my book," she said, reopening Quidditch Through the Ages.

"I'm offended Jones. Here I was thinking you enjoyed my company," James said with a grin.

"Procrastinating," she repeated, while shooing him away.

"Fine I'll go, but I might make you fly extra laps at practice tomorrow," he said.

"I'm sure you will, Captain Potter," Hestia said, eyes glued on her book. They both knew full well that James would never. He looked over to the stairs, dreading the moments to come. But he was a Gryffindor after all and he needed to just do what he came to do. And with that exact thought, James walked up the stairs to the boys dormitory. And for the first time in his entire life, he knocked on their door, rather than bursting through.

"Coming!" James heard Peter yell. He could feel his heart racing and every instinct telling him to leave while he could, but it was too late, Peter opened the door. Peter's eyes bugged out a bit, not bothering to hide his surprise.

"Hey Wormtail," James said with a unconvincing smile. Peter sent a glance behind him and slipped out the door to speak with James.

"What're you doin' here?" Peter demanded. He didn't seem angry with James, just scared for his well-being.

"I need to talk to Sirius," James said, attempting to smile once more, but Peter's face remained freaked out.

"I dunno if that's a good idea, I mean he's still real bent out of shape 'bout the whole thing. He refuses to talk 'bout the fight to us. McGonagoll told Remus that Sirius isn't even showin' up to their weekly tea," Peter replied. He glanced behind him again, just to make sure the door was still closed. "You really shouldn't be here, Prongs."

"Come off it, Wormy. I've got to put things right. Apparently Moony has been writing my mum about the whole situation and she wants it sorted out and frankly, so do I. I'm not even completely sure why he's mad at me," James told his friend. "So if you'll kindly move out of my way..."

"If you insist, but I'll be down in the Common Room. I'm not goin' to get myself caught in the crossfire," Peter said, "G'luck."

"Thanks mate." James pushed the door open as Peter scrambled down the stairway.

"Oi Womrtail what took you so long out there? A quick snog with your favourite Hufflepu-" Sirius said as he brushed his hair. He must've caught a glimpse of James standing where he thought Peter had been. James watched the anger and fury gather on his face, but James held his ground.

"Afternoon Sirius," James said pleasantly.

"What're you doing here?" he demanded. He watched Sirius' hand go to his concealed wand.

"Came to chat," James said, sitting on the foot of his old bed. The bed was untouched, ignored, and forgotten about.

"Well you shouldn't have. What part of our last conversation made you fathom that I want to speak with you!?" Sirius said louder this time. He threw his hairbrush onto his bed and took another angry step towards James.

"I know you don't want to talk to me. And frankly that last conversation didn't exactly make me fancy a chat with you either."

"Then why are you here?"

"I got your note," James replied simply. Sirius' glare intensified. "And everyone is worried about you, mate. We are supposed to be best friends. And somehow for some reason you began to hate me along the way. I'd like to know why. I deserve to know why."

"I told you why!"

"Those reasons were rubbish and you and I both know it!" James yelled back, "You're mad that I spend time with Lily! That I'm Head Boy! That you prefer my family to yours! That I don't pull a bunch of pranks anymore!"

"Don't try to make me sound crazy! You were supposed to be my best friend! A Marauder! Now you- now you just have drifted away. We were family, but you got Lily and ditched us. Ditched me!" Sirius shouted.

"I didn't choose to be Head Boy. Dumbledore chose me. And I'm in love with Lily. You knew this, and I thought you'd be happy for me."

"Happy for you. I'm always happy for you. Happy that you have every single damned thing you could ever wish for in the palm of your hand," Sirius said bitterly.

"Look Sirius, I don't want to rehash this. Just tell me what set this off, because you never had an issue about me like this before," James said, trying to calm down.

"My life set this off James! My life is falling apart!" he yelled with despair, "Half my family is out there killing and torturing all these innocent people. And I know exactly what it feels like! This war is sucking people onto sides and taking over their lives. And my family is on the other side, James. The wrong side." Sirius paused a moment to catch his breath.

"That night, the night I- when we argued, was the night my mother wrote to me." Sirius' voice had calmed down, but his lips turned into a menacing scowl, "She was ecstatic. Overjoyed, I could just tell. And she hasn't written to me since I was disowned, but she had to tell me of my shortcomings one last time. How I am the lesser son. The mistake. The stain on our family tree. The disobedient Blood Traitor son that she hates so dearly." James didn't fully understand what Sirius was getting at. James had heard this all before. He knew that Sirius' mum was a horrible person and how his parents liked Regulus better, but he didn't get it yet.

"My brother, James, she was writing about my brother. They're sending Bella to go recruit him. Soon. It'll be a dream come true for him," Sirius finished, his bitterness coming to a peak.

"Padfoot-" James said, his voice breaking. Sirius swallowed as angry tears shown in the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Stop would you," he said viciously, "Can't you see I'm trying to be mad at you! And you come in here being all diplomatic trying to apologise. So just shove off." James began to smile before he knew what he was doing.

"What?" Sirius demanded.

"I'll stop being diplomatic if you stop being all 'woe is me'," James said with a laugh. Sirius frowned.

"You're doing it again, being diplomatic. Why aren't you yelling at me? And the hell do you mean 'woe is me'?" Sirius demanded.

"C'mon we both know that your family sucks, and you are completely justified to be upset about them, but the other night you were getting mad at me. That my family isn't screwed up or that I am Head Boy," James said.

"You're changing, James. You're turning into this other person. And the old you was the one that made me forget sometimes about my family. Now he's gone and my brother's practically a Death Eater," Sirius said.

"It isn't my fault about your brother. And I haven't become a whole new person, I'm still me, but now I have responsibilities. And Dumbledore is trusting me to do it. Lily is trusting me to do it." James stepped closer to Sirius, "You are the one who is pushing everyone away. You picked a fight with me. You quit showing up to tea with McGonagoll. You moved out of the Manor. You shut out Marlene and Lily. And now you hardly even talk to Remus and Peter. So if anything it's you who is changing." The room fell quiet. Sirius' eyes fell to the floor and James noticed how pale he had become. His eyes look distressed and his hands nervously played with each other.

"I know that your life and mine are completely different and I could never truly understand what you've been through, but I know you better than anyone else. We are your family. You, me, Remus, Peter, Marlene, and now Lily. And we are here for you... always," James said, letting the last word hang in the air.

"Sorry for being such a jealous blighter," Sirius said, still not looking James in the eyes, "I just- I don't want anything happening to him. He's just so far gone."

"Padfoot it's fine, I know you didn't mean it-" James said.

"I did mean it. Most of it anyways. I don't hate Lily or you, but I meant what I said. I don't care about the Head Boyship, but I wish you weren't gone so much. I wish I had a family like yours and someone as in love with me as you and Lily are. And I'm sorry that I was such a git about it, but I can't change it."

"Oh- er alright then. But you don't have to apologise anymore. We're cool," James said, offering his hand out to Sirius. Sirius pulled him into a hug, and James obliged.

"Have you got any meetings tonight? Or dates with Lily?" Sirius asked.

"Er- no I think I'm free tonight," James said.

"Stay here. We'll have a boys night! You, me, Wormy, and Moontail. I mean Moony and Wormtail," Sirius said excited.

"Sound like a plan, mate," James said with a grin. "I'll go let Lily know and I'll be right back."

"Are you joking, mate? The pair of you aren't married. I'm sure she'll be fine without your goodnight kisses for one night," Sirius said with a scoff.

"Yeah, you're right. But I should get pyjamas and all," he said, still wanting to go see Lily.

"You'll borrow some of mine," Sirius said, "Now come with me to go collect Moony and Pete. Where did Pete get off to anyways?" James began to chuckle, he had forgot how Peter had hidden in the Common Room.

"Oh well he didn't want to get caught in the crossfire," James laughed again, "As if he thought we couldn't have a perfectly civil conversation or something."

"It's like he has no faith in us," Sirius said with a grin. They exited the dorm and headed down to the Common Room where Peter was in hiding. Peter was sitting beside Remus on a couch.

"Guess what we're doing tonight?" Sirius said as he hopped over the banister frightening a group of third year girls who walked nearby.

"You can't keep jumping over the side of the stairs like that!" Remus said.

"Sorry Moony, but guess what!"

"What?" Peter said enthusiastically.

"Prongs is sleeping over tonight. A boys night in!" Sirius exclaimed.

"So I'm guessing the two of you are friends again," Remus said.

"Yeah we are. My mum made sure to tell me that we were being stupid," James said with a pointed look at Remus. The werewolf perked up a bit after James said that.

"Sorry James, I just- the two of you were driving us all insane!" Remus said defencively.

"It's fine Moony, truly. Just no more letters to my mum behind my back. She's now going to be on my back about being Head Boy and Lily's boyfriend. She really thinks I'm gonna screw everything up with her," James said.

"You did screw things up with her the day of," Remus pointed out.

"That wasn't me!" James protested. He then added, embarrassed, "I messed things up the next day."

"My bad," Remus said sarcastically. James frowned at him.

"But now everything is perfect between us. No problems at all," James said smiling once more.

"We all know, Prongs. The pair of you are so lovey-dovey and moony-eyed. It's quite sickening actually," Sirius said grinning. "You could probably take a page from little Pierre's book, yeah? He barely does anything, save holding her hand." All the boys besides Peter broke out laughing.

"Hey just because I don't go 'round snogging her in the halls for everyone to watch, doesn't mean we don't ever..." Peter defended.

"Still I can't believe she still thinks your name is Pierre," Sirius chuckled.

"Well you lot always call me Wormtail and she's a 5th year so she never really knew me beforehand," Peter said, still frowning.

"Still a right shame. But let's quit talking about birds," Sirius said.

"Alright. Ready for the upcoming match?" James said. At a time being Quidditch Captain was his top priority, but so much had changed. Now he had so much more to worry about and so much less time to spend. James even contemplated giving up his role as Quidditch Captain, maybe passing it on to Marlene. He knew Marlene would make a great Captain.

"Against Ravenclaw, is it?" Sirius asked. James nodded. "I reckon Ravenclaw'll be are top competitor this year."

"Probably." There was a long silence. Quidditch didn't evoke the same excitement anymore. He still loved the game, but now there was so much more important things on his mind.

"Erm- the Chudley Cannons are lookin' pretty good this year. Some people think they're going to come out on top this season," Peter added. Everyone knew the Cannons were Peter's favourite team and every year they did not do so well.

"Over the Arrows!" Sirius exclaimed. "Not a chance Wormy!" James smiled as the conversation gained speed again. He loved his friends and their bantering nature.

**AN: Did you enjoy James and Sirius' fight. I felt like there had to be some sort of tension that arose from Lily and James dating and it seemed natural enough. I love Sirius as a character. Please review...**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Fighting, Stupidity, and Bad News

Lily had no idea where her boyfriend was. She looked everywhere she could after her friends returned to the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily knew that James had gone to apologise to Sirius, but he should be back by now. It had been hours since James had left. Now James and Lily were supposed to patrol together around the castle. She had been looking forward to it, because she had hardly seen him all day. But he promised to meet her outside their dormitory for patrols, but it was half past the hour and Lily needed to start patrolling, with or without him. He had done it without her the other night, so she figured it would only be fair to do it alone now. She was simply worried that Sirius and him had fought and left James injured, but he wasn't in the Hospital Wing either. So Lily continued to patrol the halls.

Lily considered summoning James by pressing down on the necklace he gifted her, but she ultimately decided against it. The night was unusually quiet. No one was roaming the halls. The Astronomy Tower was empty, devoid of steamy couples enjoying each other's company beneath the stars. Somehow the thought made her heart pang for James, his absence even just for a few hours made her sad. She pushed thoughts of him from her mind. It was hardly a time for thinking of him.

She rounded the corner, heading towards the Charms Classroom, when she saw the first person up after hours. Regulus Black. Lily hid behind the corner. He hadn't seen Lily nor had he noticed anything was out of the ordinary. He strolled down the corridor, humming a tune to which Lily didn't know the name. He seemed almost carefree. Like any child should, but Lily knew better. She knew that he was obsessed with Voldemort according to Sirius. But for all she knew, the boy might've already had the Dark Mark branded on his forearm. Or perhaps it would come in the near future. After all, Regulus was but a boy.

Lily put her hand on her wand, drawing it silently from her robes, as Regulus drew closer. She could hear him humming louder and a small ghost of a smile present on his face. Lily was cautious, but she couldn't help but feel at ease watching him look so carefree. She knew he'd see her any moment now as he walked closer and closer.

"Evening Regulus," Lily said cheerfully when he came around the corner. She watched his feature turn upwards in surprise. He grabbed his wand, pointing it at Lily.

"Mudblood," he muttered, but his sneer seemed forced and not at all intimidating. At that moment Lily realized how much Regulus looked like Sirius. Although Regulus' face seemed a bit more stiff now that he stopped humming. They were about the same height and had the same attractive black hair and cool grey eyes and sharp cheekbones.

"That word isn't becoming of you Regulus," Lily said, trying to stay as cheerful as she could. She knew that somewhere within Sirius' little brother, there was doubt. Doubt that what Voldemort preached wasn't true. Doubt that Muggleborns weren't as bad as people made them out to seem. Doubt that being a Blood-Traitor was such a bad thing.

"How dare you speak to me," Regulus hissed, his face twisting and his wand hand shaking.

"You wouldn't hurt me, would you?" Lily asked him.

"You have no idea what I can do! The amount of curses I know. The number of people I've watched die!" Regulus said, his voice shaking.

"You don't really believe in all that blood supremacy stuff, do you?" Lily asked.

"Why wouldn't I? And so does your old boyfriend. Snape!" Regulus taunted, his grip on his wand steadying. Lily shuddered. Severus couldn't be a- No he would never. Would he?

"Struck a nerve, have I?" Regulus said louder. Lily didn't say anything for a moment.

"I think you're a great Seeker, y'know. Probably the best one in the school," Lily said. She wasn't sure what she was doing. It just felt right and it made Regulus lower his wand for a moment in shock.

"What're you on about?" he demanded.

"I think you'd do really well in the Professional Quidditch League. Who's your favourite team?" Lily asked, lowering her wand in hopes that he'd do the same. "I like Puddlemere United, but they haven't done so well this year." Lily truly didn't follow professional Quidditch, but she remembered Peter mentioning it to her once...

"I like the Appleby Arrows best," Regulus said automatically. Lily smiled, but he sneered, upset for talking to her about such mundane things on accident.

"The Arrows huh. Forgive me but how are they doing this season? I haven't been able to catch up," Lily said.

"Shut up," he said with a scowl. He seemed much more menacing now that he had accidentally let his guard down. Lily looked past him down the hall. She heard noises. People were coming. Regulus turned back to her, seemingly frightened.

"Get out of here. They'll hurt you," he said urgently. His jaw clenched as he watched over his shoulder, "Don't be thick. Get out of here Evans!" Lily obeyed somewhat. She wanted to know what he was up to and who would've 'hurt' her. She cast a Disillusionment Charm upon herself, hoping that it'd be strong enough for no one to see her.

"Black!" a cold voice called out. She knew that voice. Evan Rosier. She hated that voice.

"Rosier, Wilkes, Avery," Regulus said, greeting the boys. Lily desperately wished that she had James' Invisibility Cloak. That way she'd be faultlessly invisible and it would make spying much easier.

"Glad you could make it," Evan said. Lily could hear the smirk in his voice. The pride.

"Not that he had much'a ways in choices," Wilkes growled. Wilkes was a burly person. Strong as well as tall, but utterly incompetent with any type of magic at all. Although Lily suspected that he dabbled well enough in the Dark Arts. He was what you may call a brute.

"I'm here because I am choosing to serve. Nothing else," Regulus replied peevishly.

"'Course you are Black," Evan said. "No one would doubt someone with a surname like yours." Lily knew this to be a direct jibe towards Wilkes. People like the Blacks, the Rosiers, and the Averys belong to a special group called the Sacred 28. Those were the trees that were completely and truly pure. The top of the blood hierarchy. Even higher than the regular pureblood, although no one cares as long as you are pureblood.

"My blood's as pure as it gets. And I've proved myself, yeah?" Wilkes growled again, this time the lightness was lost from his voice. Lily knew that those who valued blood supremacy, detested when their own blood purity was questioned.

"This is hardly the place we ought to be speaking of such things. We shouldn't leave the others waiting," Avery piped in. Lily swallowed. There was obviously some sort of meet up between the Slytherins and Regulus was about to be initiated. The boys began to walk towards her and Lily knew this was when her magical skills would come to the test. She could only pray to God that her Disillusionment Charm was good enough. She held her breath so she wouldn't give herself away. But they kept walking, not giving her any mind. Perhaps it was her mind playing tricks on her, but she could've sworn that Regulus looked directly at her for a moment, before looking away. It was probably just her paranoia.

"Where are the others?" Regulus asked loudly. Lily began to walk slowly behind them, putting enough distance between herself and them so that they couldn't hear her footsteps.

"Quiet," Evan said with a scowl, "You'll see in a bit." The boys abruptly turned, stopping in the corridor, just past the storeroom. Lily had a sinking feeling in her chest. They were at the one-eyed witch statue.

"Dissendium," Evan said. The statue revealed a short slide in which the four boys slid down. Lily knew from the Marauder's many adventures that this led into Hogsmeade. Honeyduke's more specifically. Lily once more longed for James' company, his vast knowledge of the castle, even just his hand to hold as she slid down behind the boys, hoping that she wouldn't be noticed. But her descent wasn't as flawlessly executed as she could've hoped. After several loud bumps and scrapes, Lily made it to her feet. She recast the Disillusionent Charm just to be safe.

"What was that noise?" Evan Rosier demanded. She thought she was for sure going to be discovered. Evan would try and find the source of the noise and no amount of Charms would prevent him from finding her. She knew she could easily hold her own in a fight. She could probably best any of the four boys alone. Two at a time would be doable. Three with some luck. But four seemed impossible, especially in this tight cramped tunnel in the dim light. Lily was prepared to fight as she tightened her grip on her wand.

"It was me, Rosier. Tripped over something. Blasted tunnel," Regulus said. Evan let out a snort of amusement.

"Much more graceful on a broom, are you Black?" Evan said grinning. Even with the tunnel's lack of light, Lily could still see the maniacal grin that was rooted on Evan's face.

"I suppose so," Regulus said. For a moment Regulus glanced back, scowling at Lily. She knew he couldn't see her, but he knew she was there. She had saved her from the others noticing her twice tonight. She didn't know what was going on in Regulus' head. She knew that he didn't like her at all. He definitely was for blood purity. But why would he go out of his way to protect her? Perhaps he knew that Lily and Sirius were friends? But it didn't seem to her that Regulus and Sirius got along too well.

"Alright come on now. We've got a ways to go," Evan said pressing forward.

They trekked for nearly an hour when Evan, who led the group, pushed the boards from above their heads. He pulled himself up into the Honeyduke's cellar careful not to make a noise. Avery followed just as silently, while Wilkes caused the boards to creak and moan beneath his weight. Regulus, on the other hand, pulled himself up with the strength and ease of a Quidditch player. Lily waited a few moments for the to make their way to the stairs before lifting herself up. She wordlessly cast a Silencing Charm onto herself, something she cursed herself for not doing earlier.

"We've got the entire shop to ourselves. Look at that, they've a new flavor'a lollies," Wilkes said happily. He reached into the bins, stuffing his pockets with the sweets. Lily was disgusted. They were taking advantage of a poor shopkeeper who had wanted nothing more than to make the world a bit sweeter. In her anger, Lily cast a Stinging Jinx at Wilkes. He dropped the handful of sweets that he was holding and rubbed his hand, seemingly hoping for some sympathy.

"Looks like a Stinging Jinx. Seems like the old hag finally got some security spells on her shop. That's why we don't deal in petty crimes, Wilkes. C'mon now," Evan said. Wilkes still was rubbing his hand, although he dutifully followed the boy out the door. Lily realized that she needed to hurry through the door, because they were going to lock the doors with a spell. She slid through the gap as Avery shut the door. She accidentally brushed against his robes, but he didn't seem to notice. She walked past them to give herself room to breathe freely.

"We almost there?" Wilkes asked, his face still pouting. Somehow his expression and love for lollies made him seem less viciously strong and more like a child who stubbed their toe and would milk the injury for all it's worth. The visual brought a smile to her face.

"I honestly don't know why we even keep you around," Evan said with a huff. Then any pretense that had portrayed Wilkes as a childlike person, disappeared. He rounded on Evan, roughly grabbing his shoulder to make Evan face him.

"You want to know why they keep me 'round?" Wilkes demanded, "'Cause I'm the one who time after time proved himself to the Dark Lord's followers. Maybe I haven't a Dad in his ranks, like you Rosier, but I've done more for the cause." The two boys were standing so close together, but Wilkes towered over Evan. Lily thought that Wilkes was about to spit in Evan's face, but instead he gave the other boy a rough shove.

"Now answer my question, Rosier, 'cause you aren't in charge'a me!" Wilkes went on. Lily hadn't expected the sudden outburst and she felt herself taking a few steps back to distance herself from Wilkes. Physically, he was a scary being.

"Yeah we are almost there," Evan said with a steely calmness. He gestured to an abandoned building up in the distance. The Shrieking Shack. Thankfully the moon wasn't full, Lily thought. Otherwise that would've ended quite badly.

"The Shrieking Shack?" Avery asked, his voice teetering a bit. Since Lily's first year at Hogwarts, the year the Whomping Willow was planted, there were terrible rumors of an old family who was murdered there. The rumors went on to say that the family's ghosts came back to haunt the abandoned house. People in Hogsmeade still claim to hear the shrieks and howls on some dreary nights. Thanks to the Marauders, Lily knew the true reason: Remus. He'd go there to endure his condition so he was safe and no threat to anyone.

"I didn't choose it," Evan replied with a mask of indifference. Regardless of any misgivings anyone had, they all walked up the hill towards the house. Lily was slightly upset that they hadn't taken the tunnel near the Whomping Willow. It would've made the journey ten times quicker, but she knew that tunnel was a secret. And these Death Eater wannabees were the last people she'd want to know about Remus' tunnel.

"I dunno 'bout no ghosts, but there's somethin' off in this place," Wilkes said, surveying the room. He seemed to have lost his anger for Evan quite quickly.

"There is," a cold voice said. Lily just about jumped out of her skin. It was Severus. He was here. That's who they were meeting. He continued, "There's a lot of things the staff of Hogwarts like to keep mum about."

"Like what?" Wilkes asked. Severus made his way over to an overturned couch. With a flick of his wand, he made it sit upright and fixed every rip in it's seams. He sat down, undisturbed by the creepy aura the room was giving.

"You ought not go asking things that do not pertain to you," Severus said eyeing the four boys. Lily watched her former best friend act so superior to his friends. But his superiority shut Wilkes up very fast.

"Where's Mulciber? Wasn't he coming with you?" Evan asked. He still seemed a bit put off by Wilkes outburst only a few minutes earlier.

"Unfortunately he was given a detention with that awful Defence teacher," Severus said with distaste, "What was Dumbledore thinking giving the position to such an airhead like Fawley?"

"Least his blood is pure," Avery said indifferently. He picked at his nails, not paying the conversation much attention.

"Well unlike some people, I actually got the grades to get into the class. And I'd like a competent teacher who isn't only riding on his pretty boy persona." Severus said with a scowl. Lily disagreed. She thought Professor Fawley was the best teacher they had ever got in her 7 years as a student in Hogwarts. Avery, seemingly, didn't like the obvious retort. He popped his head up, scowling as much as Severus was.

"I don't find much use for a class that's going against everything we're trying to do," Avery spat, "And to me it sounds like you are just talking about Potter again." Severus stood up, clearly agitated.

"If you don't know the other side's defense then you will be incredibly unprepared in how to defend yourself-" Severus began.

"I'd like to see someone try and defend the Killing Curse," Avery said with a smirk. But Severus pretended to ignore the comment.

"And speaking of Potter," Severus said, his disgust only growing, "He seems awfully close with Fawley. I wouldn't be surprised to see if he's bribing his friend for his marks."

"That's it isn't it, Snape. Bribing. Of course, because he bribed McGonagoll for Quidditch Captain. He bribed Mudblood Evans to go out with him. Now he's bribing Fawley for an Outstanding," Avery went on with a scoff.

"Well if you like that Blood Traitor so much..." Severus said.

"You're just upset that the Mudblood likes him better than you. How d'you expect to serve the Dark Lord well if you're dreaming of getting such filth in your bed!" Avery shouted. Lily saw Severus flinch. Avery's words hit home for Severus. And suddenly Lily felt like she needed to leave. To get fresh air. But the doors were closed and she was invisible. She was trapped.

"I'm not trying- Don't- You-" Severus stuttered, "The whole conversation is fruitless. And you needn't question my loyalties again Avery. And she should be here soon regardless." Avery opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. His lips returned to a thin scowl and the boys sat in silence. Lily still felt severely out of place. She was scared and unsure of what is going to occur. Most of all their words unsettled her. It felt unnatural hearing Severus speak so horribly about James when now Lily was so enamored with him.

A loud crack interrupted her thoughts. The door to the Shack was swung open and loud footsteps made their way down the hall. The door to the room opened with just as much vigor as the front door and in came a very scary sight.

"Bella!" Regulus shouted with a smile. When he smiled his whole face transformed into a much younger version of himself. The same version Lily witnessed humming earlier.

"Reg, how've you been?" Bellatrix asked. Her black hair was pulled back tightly and her robes matched her hair in color. Her skin, on the other hand, seemed extremely pale in comparison. Lily saw the witch's wand up her sleeve and a twisted blade in her belt, ready at any moment for an attack.

"Just lovely. I didn't know you were coming tonight," Regulus said, regaining some composure.

"As if I'd miss this! Not when you're the only Black left!" Bellatrix said with excitement. The air hung thick after her words. Lily knew what everyone was thinking: Sirius. But none of them would dare to utter his name or any mention that Regulus wasn't an only child.

"What's going on, by the way? No one would give me the entire truth," Regulus said, with a pointed glance towards the other boys.

"The Dark Lord has sent me to recruit students straight from school," Bellatrix said. A malicious grin formed on her face and a look of elation rose on the five boys too. "That isn't to say that any of you are in. You'll be tested, of course."

"Tested how?" Evan Rosier asked. He couldn't bear to hold his silence any longer.

"Oh just a declaration of loyalty to our cause, but that will not be tonight. Who are you anyway? You look familiar?" Bellatrix asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Rosier. Evan Rosier, that is. You probably know my father," Evan said. Lily noticed how he lifted his chin up a bit higher when he mentioned his father. And his surname seemed to satisfy Bellatrix as well.

"Rosier, Rosier. Yes I know of your father. And this get together is your doing, I suppose?" Bellatrix questioned. Evan nodded, pride most definitely showing on his face.

"Very well. What're the rest of your names? Purebloods I presume?" Bellatrix said. Lily had a sinking feeling that if they were anything but a pureblood than they'd be in for a rough time. And catching Severus out of the corner of her eye, she felt her heart sink even further. Severus was a halfblood!

"John Wilkes," Wilkes answered. Bellatrix gave a brief nod before turning to the next boy.

"Micah Avery," he said. Again, Bellatrix nodded appreciatively. Everyone turned to Severus.

"Severus Snape," Severus said.

"Snape you say?" Bellatrix took a step towards him, tightening her grip on her wand, "I don't recognize the surname." Her simple words had threatening undertones.

"Perhaps you'd know of my mother's name. Eileen Prince," Severus said, seeming to almost challenge her to dispute him.

"Actually the name Snape is coming back to me. Muggle, wasn't he? Your mother went and got herself disowned, cut off from her pureblood family for a muggle and her ghastly half-blood son!" Bellatrix said with a cruel scowl. "If you ask me a half-blood's blood is just as dirty as a Mudblood's."

"Bella," Regulus' voice low with warning. Bellatrix moved in closer towards Severus who pulled his own wand out.

"What is it, Reg? You want to associate with tainted blood like your brother?" Bellatrix turned on Regulus, whose face flushed.

"Of course not, but Snape isn't like him. He's fully devoted and smart too," Regulus said. Bellatrix's head looked between her cousin and Severus, her eyes suspicious.

"I do not like those of tainted blood, no matter if they are half pure, but I will let you attempt to prove yourself. The Dark Lord is always in need of people with certain skills, perhaps you'll be of use." Bellatrix stared down Severus one more time, who stood stiffly in the corner. Bellatrix smirked then turned and left the Shack, slamming the door behind her. Lily could hear everyone's breath of relief as she left them.

"So what was that?" Wilkes asked, "I thought we'd actually be doin' somethin' instead'a just givin' her our names!" Lily had to agree. The whole meeting seemed a bit anticlimatic. Nothing transpired and they weren't inducted into the Death Eaters nor given a date for the next meeting.

"You can't just expect to get in right away. She's probably going to check out our names and backgrounds. Our family tree perhaps too," Evan said with a side glance towards Severus, "And when she needs us again one of us will be contacted."

"D'you think it's true? The whole snake tattoo on their wrists?" Avery asked. Lily had heard the same rumor. People speculated that the important Death Eaters are branded with a tattoo that matched the Dark Mark they put in the sky. The symbol that represented the terror Death Eaters evoke. I most certainly means someone died.

"It is," Evan said, "My father has one." He seemed quite proud of his father's closeness to Voldemort and it disgusted Lily.

"Does it hurt?" Wilkes asked.

"I don't know. Now let's get back to the castle. I'm not looking forward to the hour walk," Evan said annoyed.

"You all go on without me, I am going to stay out here for awhile," Severus said. They all gave him an odd look, but continued nonetheless. The boys all huffed as the reentered the chilly night air. The walked around all the shops, staying in the shadows, hoping not to be seen by the patrolling Aurors. Lily watched Regulus' eyes search for her, his scowl reappearing.

"What do we do if the Heads are on patrol?" Wilkes asked as they made their way through the tunnel.

"They won't bother us," Regulus answered gruffly.

"Why because your brother's in with them?" Avery asked.

"No, because they wouldn't be foolish enough to try and take on all four of us," he said again. Lily felt her face flush. Regulus was trying to make sure she stayed hidden, that she didn't try and approach them.

"Well the Mudblood doesn't exactly know what's good for her. 'Member when we jumped her last year?"

"Yeah and if I remember correctly she stunned you within the first minute," Regulus said with a sneer. Lily realized that this whole group all disliked each other very much.

"Shove off Black. You don't know what you're talking about," Avery replied, embarrassed. Regulus didn't respond. No one else spoke until they reached the end of the tunnel. Evan slid the statue out of the way and returned into the corridor.

"C'mon we don't want Filch to see us out after bed," Regulus replied. Evan Rosier scoffed.

"You know he's a bloody Squib, yeah?" Evan said. Regulus narrowed his eyes. "We could mess around with him and erase his memory easily. Father taught me how."

"Memory Charms can be broken," Regulus simply answered.

"Who's going to care about a dirty Squib? A filthy disgrace like that? Madam Pince maybe," Evan laughed.

"Try Dumbledore," Regulus replied. He then turned around, hearing a noise from behind him. Lily looked back too, hearing footsteps. They belonged to a little girl. A first year Hufflepuff with her blond hair in pigtails. Lily didn't know her name, but she knew she was a Muggleborn like herself.

"I reckon this'll be more fun than any Squib," Evan said with his maniacal grin. He took out his wand, the girl looking frightened. She took a hasty step backwards. Lily took out her wand too. She watched Evan go to cast a spell and Lily, not thinking for her own well-being, shouted, "Protego!"

The spell was so powerful, Evan was thrown backwards towards his friends. All of their wands out pointing at Lily, whose Disillusionment Charm came undone. The Hufflepuff was shaking in fear, scrambling to pick up her things.

"Lookie here, boys, Mudblood Evans decided to come out and play," Evan cooed, "Where's your Blood Traitor boyfriend? Did he realize what filth you are and chuck you?" Lily scowled at the Slytherin. Lily allowed herself to glance at where the girl had been, relief sweeping over her when she saw that the girl had escaped.

"He's getting Dumbledore," Lily lied. She decided the best plan of action was to stall and deceive them. She knew she could probably take out one or two, but four on one were impossible odds.

"Lies," Evan hissed, "I haven't forgot our last encounter y'know, but now the tables have turned and you are at my mercy," Evan growled, looking delighted. He took a step towards her, sizing her up like a piece of meat.

"You wanted a duel, didn't you? So duel me," Lily said. She was way more confident in just taking down Rosier rather than all four. Although she figured Regulus would once more hesitate in trying to fight her.

"I don't deign to duelling Mudbloods," Evan said with derisive laughter.

"It's a pity we'll never know who is more skilled? You wouldn't want me to best you once more, would you?" she quipped. She knew her taunt was childish, but it hit the mark. Evan's face contorted.

"Fine! You want to duel, then I'll duel you," Evan spat, "Avery you're my second." Lily grinned at her opponent.

"I don't reckon I'll be needing a second," Lily said, trying to sound haughty, but in truth she didn't want to have to drag any of her friends into this. She'd prefer to keep it one on one. Besides Avery wasn't much cause for concern.

"Alright then, I trust you are familiar with wizarding culture to know the rules of duelling?" Evan said, his face resembling something between a smirk and a sneer.

"I am actually," Lily said, taking a bow. Evan did the same. Both parties flourished their wands and got into their respective combative positions. On the silent countdown to three, they both began to attack. Lily went for nonverbal spells, to increase her speed. Evan used a mix of both. He'd shout then go silent.

"Stupefy!" he yelled. Lily blocked the spell, casting the jet of red light aside. She threw a Full Body-Bind Curse at him, which he only narrowly missed. Fortunately, however, the spell hit Wilkes.

"Cruc-" Evan began, but Lily cast an Impedimenta Jinx that caused him to fall over. He then cast a Blasting Curse, causing the corridor to explode around them. Lily shielded herself from the rubble with a Shield Charm, but a chunk of the ceiling broke through landing on her foot. She cried out in pain. She watched Evan also trying to shield himself using the same method. Lily saw this as an opportunity. She threw curse upon curse at his shield, just like she had with Mulciber monthes earlier. She watched his shield begin to crack. As his shield failed, a purple blast of fire emerged from his wand hitting her chest, causing a burning pain to erupt.

"Stupefy!" she yelled as loudly as she could, trying to put as much power into the curse as she could. And it worked. Evan Rosier fell to the floor, rendered unconscious. As Lily collapsed to the floor from Evan's curse she sent a Stunner at Avery, preventing the duel from continuing.

She awoke with Regulus hovering over her face. He pulled her up from the ground, her chest aching painfully and her insides felt like they were boiled from the curse.

"That was foolish of you," Regulus said, "You shouldn't've followed us."

"It is my job to ensure the safety of the students and the lot of you were definitely a threat," Lily said defiantly. The pain in her chest throbbed as if it were on fire.

"It was still foolish."

"Who would've protected that little girl if I didn't!" Lily asked, but he ignored her. They both knew that Regulus wouldn't have.

"You would've got yourself killed had I not helped you," Regulus told her.

"Why did you then?" Lily asked him. The question had been on her mind all night.

"What?"

"Why did you help me? Why didn't you expose me to your Death Eater friends? Because you've made it quite clear that you don't like me," Lily said, taking a step closer to Sirius' younger brother.

"I don't know," he responded after awhile. He wouldn't look her in the eyes.

"Thank you," Lily said, giving him a genuine smile. The smile part was hard, because of the pain the clouded her mind, but she did it nonetheless. Regulus only nodded in response. Lily turned to leave. It was now way past her time to patrol.

"Don't tell Dumbledore," Regulus called after her. Rule 14 echoed in her mind. Yet here she heard a hint of desperation in Regulus' voice.

"I can't just ignore the blown up corridor and three knocked out students," Lily said, "And the fact a known Death Eater was in Hogsmeade is something Dumbledore needs to know."

"That isn't what I meant. You can't tell him or anyone that I helped you. Especially my brother," Regulus pleaded.

"You don't want anyone to know that you are a good person?" Lily asked and he nodded, "I don't understand why you even helped me."

"Just promise me," he said. Lily wondered briefly if he was going to spy on the Death Eaters, but she quickly got rid of the thought. He truly seemed to want to be on that side.

"I promise," Lily said.

"Now Stun me," he told her, dropping his wand to the floor.

"What?"

"The story wouldn't play out unless you Stun me too."

"Are you sure? I feel bad when you've just helped me so many times," Lily told him. He shook his head.

"Please Evans, I can't have this messed up. I need to do this," Regulus pleaded. Lily nodded and sent the curse at him. He fell to the floor unconsious, once more looking youthful.

Lily turned her back on the scene, hobbling around the corner. She was exhausted and her chest was incredibly sore and her internal organ felt like they were on fire. She kept her wand drawn and at the ready in case she had any other unpleasant encounters.

"Miss Evans," a voice called out. Down the hall she saw Dumbledore, Professor Sprout, and the first year Hufflepuff rushing towards her. All three looked incredibly concerned and the Hufflepuff had tears streaking down her face.

"Are you alright, dear?" Professor Sprout asked gently.

"Yeah," Lily breathed out. The pain that had been somewhat relieved when Regulus revived her had disappeared.

"Pomona can you please return Miss Rowfinn to her dormitory," Dumbledore said, a sternness appearing in his voice.

"Of course. C'mon Shelley we'll go have some hot chocolate," Professor Sprout softly said to Shelley. Shelley still had a look of shock and fear on her face and she realized how much that encounter must've scared the little girl. Lily could only try and give her a reassured smile, but she didn't think it was too convincing.

"Where are the Slytherins, Miss Evans?" Dumbledore asked her. Lily pointed to around the corner.

"3 Stunned. 1 in a Body-Bind. Severus is in the Shack," Lily said.

"And where's Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked. A rush of shame swept through her. She never should've patrolled without her partner. It was irresponsible and foolish.

"I don't know, sir," Lily admitted, "He never showed up for patrols and I couldn't find him anywhere." The pain throbbed and Lily involuntarily let out a groan from it.

"Madam Pomfrey awaits you, Miss Evans. I'll visit you as soon as I can. And do not speak about this with anyone until you speak to me," Dumbledore said. Lily nodded and turned to go to the Hospital Wing. She still didn't know where James was. And she was scared about how Sirius would react to the news about Regulus or if she should even tell anyone what he did. Then again Sirius wasn't speaking to her anymore so perhaps it wouldn't be an issue.

"What happened dear," Madam Pomfrey asked.

"A curse hit my chest. I dunno what it was. And a chunk of the ceiling fell on my foot," LIly said gasping as Madam Pomfrey touched her foot.

"It's broken for sure. Not to worry. That I can fix," the Healer reassured. And within a few minutes her foot felt as good as new. But Lily could hardly tell because her mind was completely focused on her pain. Lily explained in further detail about the curse and she looked worried. She rushed off saying how she needed to speak to Slughorn. Lily dozed off as she waited for Madam Pomfrey's return.

"Your going to have to take 10 potions or so every day to alleviate the pain and get rid of the curse," Madam Pomfrey told her. She gathered the said potions and brought them to Lily's bedside. "I'll expect you to come to the Hospital Wing every day after breakfast for the potions."

"Of course, Madam Pomfrey."

"I wanted you to be treated over at St. Mungos, but Dumbledore insisted that you stay here. Of course, if Professor Slughorn hadn't kept such an impressive store of potions, you'd have no choice but to go. When you were alseep that young Snape lad brought the potions up to me. Said that he volunteered to help Slughorn brew and restock the potions," Madam Pomfrey went on. The knots in her stomach untangled at the thought of Severus helping her. He was looking out for her even after they stopped being friends. She felt suddenly guilty for dismissing him so harshly.

"Thank you," Lily said after she downed each potion. She didn't even bother to question anything about the curse nor which potions she was taking, because the pain was so overwhelming and she trusted Severus' hand so well. Yet only minutes after swallowing each potion the pain was numbed to a mere soreness in her chest. And suddenly her exhaustion returned. Her eyelids felt heavy and she found that she could hardly keep them open.

* * *

"What d'you mean!" a familiar loud voice shouted. Lily heard the shouts that interrupted her dreams. "I need to see her!"

"I assure you, Potter, that she is in good hands and is currently peacefully sleeping which is vital to her recovery. Your incessant shouting isn't helping anyone," a quieter voice told the other.

"Sorry, but I've got to see her. I've got to," the familiar voice broke.

"Very well, but you aren't to disturb Miss Evans," the quiet voice said. Lily was barely processing what she heard. She was somewhere between awake and asleep. Her brief consciousness was ended very quickly as she succumbed to sleep.

* * *

"Is she dead or something?" a new voice said. That was the first thing Lily heard when she woke up. Her eyes snapped open at the noise and the first thing she saw was Sirius Black's face hovering above hers, just like Regulus had the night before. He jumped backwards at her sudden consciousness.

"Merlin Tigerlily, you scared me," Sirius said. Lily cracked a smile. She looked around at the empty Hospital Wing besides Sirius and Remus. She could've sworn that she heard James' voice in her dream. She thought he'd be here. The light in the skies were dimming.

"Sorry," Lily said. She looked around once more, trying to get her bearings.

"Looking for James?" Remus asked. Lily unashamedly nodded.

"He's been sitting by your bedside all day. He skived off his classes and refused to leave. Bit of an awful Head Boy if you ask me," Sirius said with a shrug, "Took us forever to convince him to leave to get something to eat." Lily nodded.

"Why're you here?" Lily asked Sirius. He looked to his feet like he was hoping she wouldn't ask that. He came up to her bedside and kneeling down, taking her hands in his.

"Dearest Tigerlily I've been a right foul git and deserve nothing but your wrath. Yet I kneel before you, begging for your mercy and forgiveness. I am truly sorry, Lily, I am." Lily laughed. He was so ridiculous that she couldn't be mad.

"Consider yourself forgiven Padfoot," Lily told her friend. He grinned back at her, pulling her into a hug. Lily made a bit of an 'Oof' sound when he made contact. The soreness was still present.

"You alright, love?" he asked looking concerned.

"Fine," she said giving him a half-smile to obscure any sign of her pain.

"Want me to get Pomfrey?"

"No I'm alright," Lily said.

"So what happened? No one would tell us," Sirius asked her. Lily knew the question was coming, but she truly wasn't looking forward to answering it. Dumbledore specifically

"I'm not really supposed to say just yet."

"C'mon Tigerlily, it's us," Sirius pleaded.

"Dumbledore said he wants to speak to me first," Lily said.

"James is going to be so mad that he missed you waking up," Sirius told her.

"Should I go get him?" Remus asked.

"Could you?" Lily asked. Remus nodded and was out the door quickly.

"Where are the girls?" Lily asked. She'd've figured that they would be here with her.

"Oh that's a whole other story," Sirius said with a nervous chuckle.

"What d'you mean?"

"I'll let Prongs explain it all to you. I wouldn't want to interfere with it," Sirius said. Lily gave him an odd look, but let it go regardless. She hated being out of the loop like this. And just then James burst through the doors to the Hospital Wing, but stopped abruptly when he saw Lily. He face was ridden with guilt and it appeared that merely looking at her was painful. Remus walked in calmly a few moments later.

"Do I really look that bad?" Lily said with a laugh, trying and failing to diffuse the tension. James took a few tentative steps closer. Sirius took this as a cue to leave, taking Remus with him.

"I'm sorry Lily. I-" his voice broke and he struggled to keep his tears at bay. Lily gave him an odd smile.

"This isn't your fault. Now come over here and kiss the invalid." Lily puckered up ridiculously and opened her arms to him. He cracked a smile, but the guilt didn't disappear. He came closer and hugged her so tightly that she could hardly breathe.

"Can't breathe," she choked out. He loosened his grip and Lily pulled him into a kiss. His lips moved against hers, and Lily took in all of his warmth and love.

"I love you," he said, resting his head against hers. "And I'm so sorry that you got hurt. It was all my fault." He looked so sad yet so happy and relieved all at the same time.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Just got in a bit of a scuffle," Lily reassured, "A scuffle that had nothing to do with you. I held my own."

"I know, but I should've been there. I forgot about patrols. I left you by yourself and that was so stupid. I'm sorry," he said again.

"Stop apologising, James. It isn't a big deal."

"It is though! I left you to patrol alone at night."

"You patrolled alone the other day," she pointed out.

"You're Muggleborn though!" James said loudly. Lily crossed her arms and pulled away from him.

"So that means I can't handle myself? I'm not as good as any Pureblood?" Lily asked angrily.

"'Course not-"

"I know, because I'm the one who fought all thr- four of them without your help," Lily said.

"Lily-"

"Forget it James. What happened with you and the girls?" Lily demanded. She wasn't going to put up with him thinking she couldn't handle herself any longer.

"Marlene's mad at me because I wasn't there for you last night," James relayed.

"Well the two of you can go make up now, because I didn't need your help," Lily said with a clenched jaw.

"You know I don't care that you are Muggleborn. You know that, right?"

"You always say that you don't care, but you obviously do! You may not think that I'm the scum of the Earth, but you still think that I ought to be treated like a child! If you truly didn't care about my blood status then you'd treat me like anyone else," Lily spat out. She hated when he treated her like a child.

"Everyone knows that your the best, but even the best can be overpowered. So maybe you can take down 4 people by yourself, but what if it was ten people? What if real Death Eaters were there. Ones who wouldn't hesitate in using the Killing Curse? Because not even you can block that!" James shouted back. The in a quieter voice he added, "No one can." Lily scowled at him. If she were allowed to get up then she'd've stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. She vowed to herself, right then, that she'd figure out a way to stop the Killing Curse. She'd figure out a way.

"Then so be it, James. People die every single day. I don't need to be sheltered and I don't need people to put themselves in harms way for me," Lily told him.

"I wouldn't have been putting myself in harms way for you. I was supposed to be there with you! Together!" James reminded her.

"But you weren't," she said, "And I, frankly, could not change that in the slightest. You didn't show up and I did. I had a job to do." Lily knew the words would make him feel guiltier, but she didn't care that he didn't show up.

"I know, which is why I'm saying sorry."

"And I already said you didn't need too," Lily shot back.

"But I-"

"But nothing James. I am perfectly capable of holding my own and it isn't like I had a choice to fight or not. I didn't seek out a fight, I protected someone else who might as well have been defenseless. I don't need your pity," Lily said glaring at him still. He didn't speak for awhile.

"What's all this shouting about?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she came into the Hospital Wing. She sighed when she saw an angry Lily and a defeated looking James. "I thought I told you to let her rest."

"She woke up on her own," James said weakly.

"And your first thought was to start arguing with her? Get out Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey ordered. James stood up from his chair and turned to leave. He looked back at Lily to say goodbye, but she had rolled over so she wouldn't face him.

Lily laid in her bed for a long time, trying not to think of James. She wished for Marlene and Mary to be with her. She'd even settle for for the other Marauders. Especially Remus. He'd understand. He always did understand things sorts of things. So Lily got very excited when she heard someone entering the Hospital Wing. She turned around expecting to see one of her friends faces only to see her Headmaster. Her face fell at the sight of him and he chuckled.

"Miss Evans," he said.

"Hello Professor," Lily replied.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit sore, but that's all really. I don't think I still ought to be here," Lily told him. In truth she only wanted to leave, because she was getting frustrated sitting around doing nothing when she could be doing her work.

"I'll speak to Madam Pomfrey about that, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to get here any sooner," Dumbledore apologised.

"It truly fine, sir. How are the- the boys?" Lily asked. She wasn't sure what to call the Slytherin boys who attacked her.

"Up to their necks in detention, I assure you. And they are physically fine. But I want to hear about what happened from you," Dumbledore narrowed his eyes, pressing her to speak like an invisible force.

"I was on patrols alone. I hid behind the corner when I heard the boys voices. Regulus came separately from the 7th years and Severus was already in the Shrieking Shack. I cast a Disillusionment Charm on me so I could follow them, because it sounded they were meeting up with some other people. Wilkes said how he had already proved himself. And Regulus said that he was there because he was choosing to serve. So I deduced they were speaking about Death Eater business. So I followed them out of the school and they were constantly fighting about blood purity and who's in charge of the group. Finally they reached the Shrieking Shack where Severus was. He said Mulciber was serving detention and couldn't make it. Then Bellatrix Black showed up and grilled them for their surnames and blood statuses," Lily told him. Dumbledore stared at her long and hard.

"And Mr. Snape isn't a pureblood," Dumbledore filled in. Lily nodded.

"She said she didn't care for someone who had anything but complete pure blood. But Regulus convinced her that he'd be of use to them. And then she left. Evan and Avery's fathers are Death Eaters, by the way, but you probably knew that. Anyways, Severus stayed back in the Shack while the others left. When they got back Evan wanted to mess around with Filch, but Regulus told him it was a stupid idea. Then Shelley came around the corner and Evan decided to mess around with her instead. That's when I came out of my charm. I couldn't just stand by. So I fought them to allow Shelley to run and get someone. And well, she got you and you know the rest."

"Thank you, Miss Evans. I'll let you rest," Dumbledore said, rising from his chair.

"But sir, truly I'm fine. I'll come and take my potions every morning, but there's no reason for me to stay here," Lily reminded him. His eyes crinkled and he smiled at her.

"Then go on, dear. I'll tell Madam Pomfrey that you have left. I believe dinner is being served soon enough," Dumbledore told her.

"Thank you, sir."

"Thank you, Miss Evans. You've done a great service to our school. And also I've arranged for Professor Flitwick and Sprout to take over your patrolling shift tonight," Dumbledore replied. Lily beamed at him. Usually Lily didn't like compliments, but getting one from Dumbledore meant the world to her. And she was so excited that she didn't have to patrol tonight. She was exhausted. He nodded to her and turned to go find the Healer. Lily smiled to herself and left.

The Great Hall fell silent as she entered. All eyes turned to her. She walked as quickly as she could to the Gryffindor table, trying to ignore the whispers that erupted as she passed by people. She heard snippets of conversations. The hall was buzzing with the news what happened to her, but no one really knew. Lily felt burning glares from the Slytherin table and looks of awe from the Gryffindor. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were more looks of gratitude and wonder. Lily hated the attention. She slid into the empty space next to Marlene and Remus.

"Lily!" Marlene said, hugging her. "Are you alright?" More hugs and questions were asked from loads of people at their table and it was a bit overwhelming for Lily.

"I'm alright, really," Lily reassured them all. Out of the corner of her eye she saw James staring at her, looking worried. Lily turned her head immediately.

"What happened?" Mary asked. Lily opened her mouth to respond, but she noticed all the heads leaning in to listen. All the eyes looking at her again and the silence that fell once more nearby.

"I'll- I'll tell you all later," Lily said to her friend's disappointed faces. "I'm a bit peckish though, aren't you?"

"Yeah, food. How could I forget?" Sirius said with a wolfish grin. He picked up his utensils and began diving in to his food with no hesitation. Everyone chuckled at his eagerness. And while Lily knew that Sirius could eat like no other, she knew he was trying to take some of the attention off of her. And for that, she was grateful.

"So did I miss anything important in classes today?" James asked the group. Lily felt a pink blush creep onto her face. She was the reason he missed his classes. And they only ended up fighting when she woke up.

"No all the professors were very lax yesterday," Sirius told them. But he didn't need to say why. They already knew. Or Lily at least knew the full story.

"That's good," James replied awkwardly. Lily watched Marlene glare at him. She forgot that the two of them were mad at one another. Lily put down her fork, abandoning her steak and kidney pie.

"You know I'm not that hungry anymore. Marlene? Care to go for a walk?" Lily asked. Marlene eyes shot straight up.

"Of course, Lils," she responded. Both Gryffindors rose and exited the Hall. Lily averted her eyes towards 5 steps in front of her so she could at least pretend to ignore the peering eyes. Once they were alone, Marlene gave her another crashing hug and Lily buried her face in Marlene's shoulder.

"Are you really alright?" she asked once more.

"It hardly hurts anymore. It was really a rookie mistake, but I had no other choice," Lily rambled.

"Tell me everything," Marlene said. And Lily did. She omitted nothing, save Regulus' actions to help her. She hated lying, but she owed him to speak of him how he wished.

"James is such an arse!" Marlene shouted, her voice echoing in the corridor. Lily shot her a look, but didn't disagree.

"I didn't need his help, so you don't have to mad at him for that," Lily said. "I just hate it when he tries to treat me like a child, because I'm muggleborn."

"Are you going to break up with him?" Marlene asked, her scowl disappearing and turning into curiosity.

"God no!" Lily said. She couldn't imagine breaking up with him. She just couldn't. "No it's just a fight. And it'll all go back to normal when he apologizes."

"How is he going to apologize when he thinks you don't want him to talk to you?" Marlene asked.

"I never said that I didn't want to speak with him."

"It was implied with the whole ignoring him at dinner thing." Marlene cracked a smile. She had a point, Lily thought.

"You're right. And I think I overreacted a bit too. I'll talk to him tomorrow," Lily amended. She'd've done it that night, but exhaustion was once more setting in.

"Good," she replied briefly.

"What are the rumors going around?" Lily finally asked. She'd been refraining from asking, because she knew the rumors would not be good. Not when there was little to no information for the rumors to be based upon.

And with a wince Marlene confirmed her suspicions, "I don't know if you want to know."

"I've got to be ready for them, Marls."

"One of them was that James tried to fight a guy you were allegedly having an affair with and you got in the way and got hurt," Marlene said with a laugh.

"That's absurd. I'd never," Lily said.

"Only the purists are talking about that one. They think you're only with James, because he's pureblood," she told Lily, "But anyways, one of them said that you were cornered by Death Eaters, which is pretty on target, I suppose. Others were saying how you were attacked by a hippogriff in the Forbidden Forest or that your magic backfired on you, because you aren't a 'true' witch. Those ones are bollocks." Lily only nodded. Did people really believe that she wasn't a true witch? She knew that Death Eaters shared that mentality, but all those people have seen Muggleborns perform magic.

"Are there more?"

"Nothing signifigant," Marlene shrugged. Lily nodded again.

"I think I'm going to go back to my dormitory," Lily told her. Marlene pulled her into another hug, much more gentle this time. Lily felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude for her friend. Her beautiful pureblood friend that didn't need to hang around a Muggleborn like her, but did anyway. Not only hung around her, but loved her unconditionally. And Lily loved her back. So she told her so.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Marlene whispered back, before releasing her. "And I'm glad you're alive." Lily snorted.

"I'm glad I'm alive too, Marls," Lily said in a more serious tone.

"See you tomorrow."

"G'night."

~James~ The American

James felt horribly guilty. Not only for failing Lily, but also for clearly touching a nerve about her blood status when she had finally awoken. He was so mad at himself. He didn't know what was going on with them now. If they'd still be together or if they'd ever be the same.

So when he woke up, he was not looking forward to his probably Lilyless day. He knew she'd ignore him and rightfully so. He messed things up and was a prat once more. James was, for lack of a better word, furious with his own stupidity. He hadn't meant for Lily to think he was babying her. He just wanted to keep her safe.

James opened his door to enter the sitting room. He spotted Lily sitting on the couch, nervously playing with her hair. James turned to return to his room. He didn't want to impede on her alone time. He didn't want to mess anything up. Not anymore than it already was. But as he pulled his door back closed, she turned around, catching his eye.

"James wait!" If James hadn't watched her lips move, than he wouldn't have believed that she spoke. He opened the door again, but didn't move.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. He blinked at her.

"What?" he asked, his voice more like a croak from his sleepiness.

"Can we talk?" Lily asked. She patted the seat next to her. The very spot where she had forgiven him the last time. James could only hope for the same luck, which it seemed he could never run out of when it came to her. Somehow she always forgave him.

"Yeah," he said sitting next to her.

"I overreacted yesterday and I'm sorry," Lily said.

"You don't need to be sorry. I screwed up again after all. And I told you I wouldn't, but I did. So I'm sorry," James said ashamed.

"Stop apologising. And don't act like it was all your fault. I overreacted. I was mad and looking for a fight," she said. "And you can't promise that you won't ever mess up again. It's impossible."

"I hate letting you down," he said. He revealed the source of everything that was bothering him. He hated that he wasn't there for her. He hated that she thought he looked at her differently because of her blood.

"You haven't," she reassured him, "Just- just promise me that you'll stop acting like I can't handle myself, because I'm muggleborn."

"I won't, but I didn't mean it like that. I just want to keep you safe, because I love you, not because you're muggleborn," James told her.

"It's alright," Lily said, pulling him into a hug. "We're alright." James breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you really okay?" he asked.

"I'm in perfect health." He gave her a look. "Alright, besides having to take ten potions a day, I'm in perfect health."

"What spell did he use on you?" James wondered. Dumbledore had since filled him in on everything that went down that night, but no one could tell him what spell had been used.

"Not sure. It was like a purplish flame that hit my chest. He used it nonverbally so I don't know the incantation," Lily replied.

"Padfoot might know it. Rosier thought he'd know the last curse too however, so maybe not. He's been going through loads of books on Dark Curses in the Restricted Section lately. He says he should know these things. He felt like he failed Mary," James relayed to Lily. Sirius never actually said the last part. Sirius was too prideful of a person to admit to having such feelings. But James knew that was what he was thinking. Sirius' eyes would wander towards Mary and he'd look away with a scowl and red cheeks.

"I wish he'd open up more. I worry about him a lot," Lily admitted. James felt a pang of envy. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't help it. Lily continued, "He's got so much going on. So much history that I don't know about. So many feelings that he hides away and pain that he takes comfort in. I wish he'd let me in."

"Padfoot has never been one to talk about his feelings much. He likes to keep that part to himself and we don't bother him about it," James said with a shrug. There wasn't much they could do to change Sirius' ways. Sirius was not a fan of change.

"That's why I thought Marlene would be so good for him. He'd always have someone to talk to, but that obviously will never work out," Lily said with a slight shake of her head.

"Never? They'll work eventually, I'm sure of it. They love each other," James said. Lily gave him a questioning look. James added, brushing her cheek, "You never thought we'd work out."

"We are very different from them. They love each other, sure, but they aren't built for the same sort of relationship as us. Besides, it'd be a miracle if all of us even make it out of this war alive," Lily said somberly. James froze.

"Don't say that," he said, "We can't afford to think like that. We are going to make it. All of us." His gaze was so intense as he stared into Lily's eyes, he saw her quiver.

"We can't afford to think like that either," she said, "But wherever we are, we'll be there together. Remember?"

"Yeah." He smiled at her brightly. They sat in silence for awhile. Lily's hand found it's way into James'.

"We should get to class," Lily said.

"What about breakfast?"

"I do believe that we missed it," she told him.

"Blast. I was looking forward to my breakfast. My stomach is growling," James said.

"You're stomach is always growling," Lily teased.

"That's Sirius you're thinking of."

"Oh you're right. Always get the pair of you mixed up," Lily joked once more. James scrunched his nose.

"Mixed up, how?" he asked. He knew she was joking, but he'd play along just for her.

"Well both of you are _sooo_ tall and handsome and strong," Lily went on.

"I am a much better looking guy than Padfoot. Taller too," James said. He puffed out his chest ridiculously for the effect.

"Hmmm, I dunno James. I'd have to see you both next to each other." She raised her eyebrows as if to taunt him further. He caught her lips with his own. His heart fluttering, filling him with warmth, but never satisfying enough, both felt a magnetic pull and a need for more. At long last (it could've been mere seconds or minutes, neither knew nor cared) they broke apart, gasping slightly for breath. James with a lazy grin on his face and Lily with her mouth still parted and a untamable smile.

"I don't think I'll be mixed up with him anymore, will I?" James asked with a knowing smirk.

"Never," she replied smiling.

"I love you, you know," he told her. He tilted her chin up at him. He really truly did. And he didn't expect her to say it back, he simply hoped that one day she would return the same feeling.

"I l- I know," she replied, her cheeks burning bright. He raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing. He didn't want her to say anything if she didn't mean it. He pecked her on the cheek and grabbed her hand.

"Ready, darling," he drawled out, sounding excessively gushy. Lily giggled, all traces of embarrassment gone.

"Of course, my dear," she replied in the same tone. He grinned at her and led her out the door.

They had finished Patronus Charms already. A few had mastered the charm (Lily: doe, Snape: doe, James: stag, Sirius: grim, Marlene: cat, Remus: wolf, Benjy: red fox) and most had at least got some form of wisp which would suffice in the case of a Dementor attack. Remus had never truly tried in class after James and Lily warned him that his Patronus would take the form of a wolf. Arnold Harlock had written a small paragragh on 'Dark Creatures' Patronus forms. So a Vampire would have a bat Patronus and a Werewolf would have a wolf and so on. So Remus strictly practiced in private as to not spill his secret. Nevertheless he mastered it, although the same couldn't be said for Peter. Peter had, however, managed to form a dense enough shield which would defend him against any attack. Benjy's girlfriend, who was in another class, was very upset that their Patronus' didn't match. Especially after the whole school found out that Lily and James' Patronus' matched. It made each couple try harder for their Patronus' so they could see if they were 'meant to be' or not. It sounded like a load of Hippogriff droppings to James. Lily and him were natural together. It was hard to explain or descibe other then perfect to him. He wouldn't change it for the world.

Later in Potions Slughorn announced a new project. Something he had been hinting at all year, but especially so in the past few days. He was practically bouncing from excitement and James saw Lily taking on some of Slughorn's excitement. She rolled her eyes at him when he asked what the big deal was. And despite his seeming indifference towards the upcoming project, James was somewhat excited, although he'd never admit it. Maybe he was spending too much time with Lily. Nah, he thought, he could never spend enough time with her. Each moment they spent not in each other's company made his heart ache for her, like he needed her to breathe properly. Anyways, back to Slughorn.

"So I know you all have been anxious in wait, but today marks the day we begin our big project!" Slughorn announced excited. Everyone had their eyes glued on him, waiting to find out if their project would be as good as he made it seem. But Slughorn, despite his eagerness, seemed to be holding out on them all, trying to build suspense.

"Sir, with all due respect, what is the project?" James shouted from his seat. Lily, who was sitting next to Marlene across the room, turned to him with wide eyes. But Slughorn only chuckled.

"Oho James! My apologies. I didn't mean to keep you in suspense," Slughorn told him, but the twinkle in his eyes told James that was exactly what he wanted. "Now with no further ado, allow me to explain."

"For the next few months, up until Christmas holidays, I expect you to brew a new potion!" Slughorn called out excitedly. James saw the jaws drop of multiple people. He saw the corners of Lily's mouth turn up in joy. He saw Sirius shrug with indifference, as if it wouldn't be difficult for him. He saw Remus look a bit stressed and Marlene looked outraged. Finally he saw a creepy little grin on Snape's face. And James scoffed in disgust. He didn't know how to feel about it. It would be difficult for sure, but James would put every ounce of his effort into this project, simply because he had to beat Snape. At least in this. Snape had beaten him in Patronuses and he knew Snape loved Lily as much as he did. He needed to cut away this bond that they shared. Their brilliance at Potions had been a bonding point for them and James had no doubt that he could be just as good.

"Our own potion!?" Marlene asked in disbelief.

"Yes, Ms. McKinnon. From scratch! Worry not, you'll be working with partners," Slughorn said. James sighed. This'll be a lot easier with Lily or Sirius working with him. "Of my choosing, however." And James' brief relief disappeared, but his confidence did not. It'll be easy-peasy. Hopefully he gets a good partner. Anyone but a Slytherin.

"Worried about Tigerlily?" Sirius whispered to him. James nodded.

"I just hope she isn't paired up with a Slytherin," James said.

"I doubt even Slughorn is oblivious enough to do something like that. And if she is, I'll switch partners if you'd like?" Sirius offered. James grinned at his best friend.

"You're the best, Padfoot."

"Yeah, I know."

"Who are the partners, sir?" Reginald Cattermole asked politely. He had his arm around Mary with a lovesick grin on his face, like he couldn't believe his luck. James felt the same grin come across his own face whenever Lily so much as looked at him. It was an intoxicating feeling.

"Clagg and Woodluck; Mulciber and Dearborn; Fenwick and MacDonald; Potter and Cattermole," Slughorn announced. So far the match-ups were just fine. He was perfectly content with Reginald as his partner. He hoped the Hufflepuff was competent at Potions, but either way he was much better than a Slytherin. And Mary was safe with Benjy. Benjy was a good guy, even though James had been jealous of his non-relationship with Lily for awhile.

"Rosier and Stebbins; Black and McKinnon," Slughorn called out again. Oh no. Sirius with Marlene would be... interesting to say the least. Seeing as they still were not friends nor speaking more than obligatory greetings to one another. Hopefully they would be alright. But James' heart sank, because Lily wasn't called yet and nor had Snape. There couldn't've been more than four more people left.

"Snape and Lupin," Slughorn said. James frowned. Remus got a bad deal, but that left Lily alone it seemed. Lily looked over to James worriedly. He sent her an assuring glance and waited for Slughorn to keep speaking. "That leaves lovely Ms. Evans and Mr. Blake." Blake? James didn't recognise the name and from the look on Lily's face, she didn't either. James leant over to Sirius.

"Who's this Blake bloke?" James asked. Sirius merely nodded to the bloke sitting nest to Evan Rosier. And as far as James knew, Evan always sat alone, because there were an uneven number of students in the class. James instantly didn't like the bloke. One, he was sitting with a person he despised almost as much as Snape. Two, he was paired up with Lily. Three, James had no idea who this guy was and people don't appear out of no where.

"He's a transfer," Sirius whispered, "From America." Ah. That made more sense. He was a transfer. Which is why James didn't recognise him. But James still didn't have a good feeling about him. Transfers were really rare. He had only ever heard of it happening one time in his school career and that had been practically revolutionary.

"You may begin your brainstorming phase. Be sure to come to me with any questions you may have and no poisons are allowed to be made!" Slughorn clarified. James saw people rolling their eyes, but he didn't doubt that some of the Slytherins wouldn't go about making poisons.

"Hey, love," James said to Lily. "You excited for the project?"

"Yeah I have so many ideas!" Lily burst out.

"Oh yeah? Sirius said that your partner transferred from Ilvermorny," James relayed.

"Then this Sirius guy was right," a voice called out from behind them. His voice was silky and deep, like a violin being played soft and melodically. "You must be lovely Miss Evans." Blake said in Slughorn's accent perfectly when he said Lily's name. James almost laughed.

"That's me, although my loveliness is up for debate. And you can just call me Lily," Lily told him. The American laughed.

"Lily," Blake echoed with a smile on his lips, "I'm Jonathan Blake."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Lily said. James observed Jonathan. He had sweeping golden hair, sunkissed skin, and eyes as green as Lily's.

"You too," Jonathan replied.

"This is James. He's Head Boy," Lily introduced. Jonathan spun to face James, extending his hand, which James reciprocated. His hands were soft, but his handshake was firm.

"James Potter," he said.

"Nice to meet you, dude," Jonathan said. James couldn't make Heads or Tails of it. Jonathan turned back to Lily and said, "Let's get started, shall we?"

"Of course. See you after class, James," Lily said giving him a warm smile. James smiled back before turning to find Reginald standing right behind him. Reginald looked like Remus, with their sandy blond hair and deep blue eyes. Even with Remus' distinct absence of freckles, thinner and longer face, and height difference, they could still pass for brothers.

"We should probably start," James said as Reginald placed his cauldron next to James'.

"Look I just wanna apologise 'bout how I acted back on the first day. I was out of line," Reginald said. James stared at him blankly, trying to remember what he was talking about. "I just thought I should clear the air now that we're going to be working together and all." Then it came back to him.

"Oh, you don't need to be sorry. I would've acted the same way if it had been Lily," James said, finding Lily with his eyes across the room. She was laughing at something Jonathan Blake said, and James realized something odd. He wasn't jealous. He was weary of Jonathan Blake simply because he didn't know him, but there was no envy. He felt completely secure with Lily and he knew Lily wouldn't leave him.

"Oh really! Well that's good I s'pose. I just thought- well it doesn't matter. Let's get started," Reginald said in a considerably happier tone. James flipped open his potions book, looking for inspiration.

"What do you reckon we could make?" James asked.

"I dunno. What 'bout a potion that makes you smarter?" Reginald asked.

"That's already a thing. Wit-Sharpener Potion," James replied.

"You're right."

"What about a potion that makes you older then you are?" James asked. He remembered how much he wished he could've been of age before he turned 17. It was torturous.

"Aging potion," Reginald grumbled in frustration. "What 'bout- no never mind. This is too hard to think of something." James silently agreed. He, under other circumstances, would've asked Lily for help, but James needed to prove himself competent. So the two of them sat there in silence and James' mind drifted to Quidditch, which it hadn't done in a long time. He was replaying in his head a moment during practice where Russell Khan, their Keeper, had nearly fell off his broom after a particularly good shot from James. Russell had been hanging onto his broom by one hand when Higgins came over and saved him. It had been a close call and Russell could've been seriously injured. James wished Russell would let him buy him a new broom. The ratty old school issued broom would do him no favours, but Russell was much too prideful. Now it was becoming a issue of his safety and James just wished his Keeper had a broom that could properly fly. Fly! That was it.

"What if we made a potion that could make people fly?" James asked excitedly. Reginald flipped through the pages of his book and searched for a potion similar to the one James had proposed, but came up empty-handed.

"Yeah. I don't see anything similar. What would go in it though?" Reginald asked.

"Well don't Billywig Stings make you float?" James asked. But he wasn't really asking. One time in third year, Peter had accidentally ingested all of the Dried Billywig Stings in his Potions kit and after insane giddiness he began to float.

"Yeah, but they make you go insane with laughter. Kinda like Laughing Gas," Reginald said.

"Laughing Gas? Is that a type of Potion?"

"No it's a muggle thing they give you at the dentist so you don't feel the pain." James still didn't understand how Muggles could do things like that without magic, but he let it drop.

"Alright, so we need something to counteract the giddiness. Maybe Castor Oil?"

"No let's use Lavender instead," Reginald suggested.

"Okay." I scribbled down what we have so far and sat there thinking of what else.

"I think the potion'll be too thick," Reginald said, "We need something to thin it out."

"Er- what about lacewing flies or knotgrass?"

"Neither of those'll help. We could try Honeywater. We won't know if any of this will even work until we start experimenting," Reginald pointed out. James sighed. This was going to be a long project and a hard one too. James was thankful that they had finally figured out an idea. Only a few groups seemed to have accomplished that much. Lily and Jonathan were furiously scribbling their ideas onto parchment. Snape and Remus were unhappily writing things down. Sirius and Marlene were having a shouting match, so James didn't think they'd get much done today. And the other groups still appeared to be brainstorming.

"Yeah. We've got a lot of work to do," James said.

"I think I'll head to the library and research the effects of these ingredients together and if there have any been any attempts on a Potion of Flight," Reginald said thoughtfully.

"I'd offer to help you out, but I've got Double Patrols tonight and Quidditch Practice straight after dinner. We had to shorten the practice so we'll have time for homework. But even then I've only got an hour for homework and I need to write a foot about the Whomping Willow's feelings. Why would a plant have feelings! Professor Sprout has gone up and gone mad, I'm telling you," James rambled. Reginald laughed.

"It's alright, James. I know you've got a lot. This is extra anyways. Just to make sure we won't accidentally brew a poison, not that I'd mind slipping some to the Slytherins if it was," Reginald said. James laughed in response. He wasn't a bad bloke, James thought.

"Class dismissed!" Slughorn shouted.

"Yeah, I'll see you around," James said to Reginald.

"Bye." James packed his parchment and quills away before turning to find Lily. He caught a glimpse of her beaming smile and the tail-end of her conversation.

"You wanna hang out before next class?" Jonathan asked in his American accent.

"Yeah. My door's open and I'd love to hear more about you," Lily said.

"Same. You're different from the girls back home."

"In a good way I hope?" Lily teased. The American chuckled.

"In the best way," he replied suavely.

"You should come join us for dinner tonight," Lily proposed. Jonathan's face lit up, but James' didn't. But, James realized, this could be a good time to learn who this bloke was. Maybe he was a really good chap.

"Can't wait," Jonathan said with a playful wink. Lily only rolled her eyes at him before turning to James. To his joy, her face erupted into a lovesick grin.

"Wasn't that just the most wonderful class!?" Lily asked him. She linked her arm in his and James' worries melted away. They headed out of the classroom arm in arm.

"It was definitely entertaining," James agreed. He enjoyed it.

"I've just invited Jonathan to eat dinner with us," Lily said, "I think he'll get along real well with you and the boys. He had a lot of interesting things to say about Potions too!"

"What are you two thinking of making your potion anyway?" James wondered. A sly grin crossed her face.

"I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, now would I?" Lily asked, with a teasing brow raised. James smiled at her.

"No I suppose not. You can only hope that it'll outshine my own brilliance."

"I have no qualms, James. But kidding aside, can we finish reading Harlock's book tonight?" Lily asked.

"I wish we could, but I don't think we'll have any time today. We've got Transfiguration next. Then Lunch. Then I've got a free, but I promised I'd help Peter with his Transfiguration, and Rule 20 says a Marauder keeps his promises so I have to. After that I've got Arithmancy. Then I've got practice right after dinner and then we're patrolling..."

"Ugh," she sighed. "I feel like we hardly get to see each other anymore."

"I mean we're in almost every class together and we're both Heads," James said.

"No I mean we're always together, but it's always business and school. We can never just relax like last year. And I feel like we're always fighting," she said sadly. James put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "I'm starting to get why losing Hogsmeade weekends bothered you so much."

"Hogsmeade?" he said, "Who needs Hogsmeade weekends?"

"James, we've never been on a proper date before."

"We went to your sister's wedding together," James insisted.

"As friends and it ended with my sister kicking us out."

"Technically she kicked you out, but it's whatever." He smirked at her.

"It's a moot point. You were my plus-one," Lily reminded him, rolling her eyes. "Anyways, we still haven't been on a date."

"And I plan on changing that, my love, fret not. And I meant, who needs permission to go to Hogsmeade?" James said with a sly smile of his own. Lily chuckled at him.

"I should scold you about that," she told him.

"But you aren't going to?"

"No, but I'm not particularly fond of breaking this rule. Dumbledore was right about it being dangerous," Lily said. James didn't respond. His inner Marauder was going into overdrive. Ideas swimming in his brain.

"We'll figure something out, darling," James told her.

"Yeah we will." James could still hear the sadness in her voice and he wanted to change it.

"After Lunch meet me behind the mirror on the fourth floor," James whispered in her ear as they got near the Transfiguration room. He felt Lily perk up from the touch of his warm breath on her neck.

"What about helping Peter?" she asked. His lips brushed her neck lightly.

"I suppose he'll be fine if I'm a few minutes late."

"But surely you won't hold that same principle for my class, Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagoll asked sternly. Lily's face flushed red, but James only grinned.

"I'd never miss a second of your class, Professor, not if I could help it," James proclaimed as he walked in the door. McGonagoll pursed her lips and walked to the board. James sat down beside Lily and Sirius and turned his eyes towards his professor. He always did love this class more than he let on.

"You- I-" Lily said with a flushed face. He leant his forehead on hers, their breaths mingling.

"Speechless, are you?" James murmured. Lily smiled and nodded.

"You seem to have that effect on me," she said. His hands intertwined with hers.

"You've had that effect on me for years."

"You really ought to get to Peter. We wouldn't want them to track us on the Map and walk in," Lily said. James smirked. He pressed his lips to hers, and each time he did it he could've sworn he was floating. And only when he opens his eyes does he feel his feet touch the ground.

"I'd much rather stay here," he pouted, placing his head in the crook of her shoulder.

"I know, but I'll walk you back to the library and we'll have a nice time patrolling tonight," Lily promised, as an adult would promise to an uncooperative small child.

"Alright, but sometimes I swear that tutoring Peter does the exact opposite effect it's supposed to have!" James exclaimed as they exited frm the mirror passage. Lily let out a small giggle.

"I'm sure you're a great tutor, James."

"Oh it isn't my tutoring skills that are the issue, I assure you," James said confidently.

"Don't be mean." She brushed her fingers through his untidy hair. "He tries his best."

"Sorry love, I suppose I should go then," he said.

"I suppose. I'll see you at dinner."

"I'll meet you outside History of Magic after Arithmancy," he offered. Her words from before weren't lost on him. He wanted to spend time with her too and they didn't have much time.

"No need. Jonathan is in my class and he said he's going to walk with me to dinner," Lily said with a cheerful grin.

"So he's in Gryffindor then?" James asked.

"Er well today was his first day. He wasn't sorted yet. He's meeting with Dumbledore later."

"Why'd he move?"

"Why don't you ask him at dinner. I'm sure he'll be plenty happy to answer," Lily said.

"'Kay," James replied, "Walk with me?"

"Of course." Lily squeezed his hand and they exited the secret passage.

**AN: I love Lily's POV for this chapter. A bit more exciting than the romance story line, I thought at least. And I'm sorry for all the drama in this chapter and all that is going to come in advance. I try my best to make it realistic and in character as much as it can be. **

**This chapter is nearly 15,000 words if you can believe it. I didn't mean for it to be so long, but oh well. I've nearly updated all of the story. I mean I'm still writing the story, but I'm almost at where I've written up to. Hope you liked it and hope you'll review regardless.**


	25. Chapter 25

~Lily~ Who cares about Vampires?

Jonathan Blake was an interesting bloke. Interesting to Lily at least. Lily had never met an American Wizard before and now she had befriended one. He was incredibly funny in a witty sort of way that always kept you entertained. He was smart too, at least in Potions. Lily invited him to come and sit with her at dinner. She hadn't realized until after that James may potentially be jealous. She hoped he wouldn't be. She hoped they were at a point in their relationship that they were past such trivial things. And even if he was jealous, she wouldn't stop being Jonathan's friend. He was nice and Lily wouldn't let James stop that. He did have a tendency to be controlling about such things and Lily was dreading the potential conversation.

"Lily? You good?" Jonathan asked with a goofy grin on his face. Lily smiled at him, coming out of her thoughts.

"Yes, just thinking," she replied.

"OK, I thought you might've died from boredom or something. I haven't even been here a day and Binns is already doing me in," he joked. "If a ghost could kill, that is." Lily chuckled.

"Now you can see why only a handful of people are in the class," Lily said. She surveyed the room. There was Michael Stebbins, Davey Gudeons, Aster Lockheart, and Miravet Clearwater. Davey and Aster were Ravenclaws and Michael and Miravet were Hufflepuffs. Then there was Lily, a Gryffindor, and Jonathan, who wasn't anything just yet. Or maybe he was a little of everything.

"Seems like too many people to me," he said, before giving her a thoughtful look, "Y'know why on Earth did you take this class? You knew what you were getting yourself into." Lily's smile faded a bit. Jonathan was a pureblood. From America, but a pureblood no less. He wouldn't understand.

"I'm a muggleborn, Jonathan. If there's a possibility that I could be accepted in the slightest by purebloods, perhaps when the war ends, then I need to be knowledgeable. I need to know the Wizarding World like the back of my hand. Even if it seems to be something as trivial as some of the rubbish we learn in this class, I need to know it." Lily's voice choked up a bit. She hadn't told him she was a muggleborn yet, but she assumed that he knew. Her last name was Evans after all. His smile fell from his face too and he continued with his thoughtful stare.

"I hadn't thought about it like that," he said, "That isn't fair that you have to think like that. This whole war thing Britain, the papers back home make it seem like it's nothing. Like it's just a disagreement between some people, but it isn't, is it?" he asked her. His green eyes peered into her own and the thought hadn't occurred to her that other countries didn't know what was going on. Gregor had known. He had told her himself how his country was torn between wanting to assist Britain and staying out of the conflict altogether. They decided not to bother, but still, they had been informed. The thought that people didn't know angered her.

"People are dying every day. They are hunting muggleborns, people like me. Death Eaters they're called, the lot of them are Dark Wizards, led by Lord Voldemort. He's the one who set this all in motion, because there was always hate, but now there is action. Entire families are disappearing and bodies left beneath that God awful mark. It's horrifying. Even- even the Muggles are being affected, but they just don't know it," Lily said. His eyebrows dipped in concern.

"Affected how?"

"Our murders are making it into their papers. Bridges are being torn down. Explosions across cities. Fires and storms caused by Death Eaters they just think are natural disasters. Muggles are being tortured and killed too. They can't explain any of it though." Tears threatened to appear, but Lily forced them away. She would not cry. She just wouldn't.

"Well damn," Jonathan said dejected. Lily, in her head, agreed. There wasn't a better way to sum up their world at the moment. But she didn't say a word. She returned her attention to Professor Binns. His voice was wheezy, but it was better than thinking about the war.

"And in the year 1831 there was an uprising in the vampire community-" Binns droned on. Lily saw Jonathan staring at her from the corner of her eye. She didn't need to turn to look at him to see the concern in his eyes. She didn't want to see it. She couldn't handle pity.

"It came after the Minisrty Decree of 1831. The Decree condemned all Vampires to death by a silver blade. And in reponse the Vampires began to infect as many wizards and witches as they could." Lily could hear the disgust in the ghost's voice.

"-number of wizards and witches infected with the vampiric germ doubled during the period of unrest." She wasn't the one that needed pity. She still had her family. She had her friends. No one close to her had died. Even her herself was safer than most since she was in Hogwarts.

"Vampires, as you learnt in Defence Against the Dark Arts, are Dark Creatures, evil creatures. They are dangerous beings with an unfortunate yet relentless taste for blood. In our modern society the creatures are required to be registered-" Vampires had it worse than Lily. They were probably being hunted just like Lily was. Halfbreeds they'd be called. Just like what people would call Remus if they knew about his lycanthropy. Lily felt sick.

"As I've always said: History applies to the present! And today the vampiric beasts are being hunted as they were in 1831! The creatures still remember being hunted! They haven't died and I fear they'll try and repeat their vicious bloodthirsty rampage, the savage things!"

That was it for Lily. She was done. She slammed her textbook closed, the sound echoing in the room. She stuffed it into her bag and stood up, walking furiously out of the room.

"Miss Evans! Miss Evans you cannot-" Binns voice was cut off when she slammed the door closed. She couldn't stand staying in that class a minute longer. Not with a man or ghost or whatever as prejudiced as he was. She didn't slow her pace as she continued down the corridor. Before it was her tears she was holding back, but now it was a string of angry curses.

She needed Marlene. She needed Marlene to tell her that she was right and to make her laugh for a little bit. Because Marlene would imitate Professor Binns creaky voice and Marlene would joke, but before that she'd let Lily rant on and on and then she'd look at Lily with a blazing look in her eyes and Lily would know that Marlene hated the bigots just as much as her.

But it wasn't Marlene who called her name from down the corridor. It was Jonathan.

"Lily wait!" His voice was so different than anyone else in the school. His accent obviously, but also the tone in which he spoke was just different and the way he looked at people. He could switch from joking to that philosophical look in his eyes. She turned around and waited as he asked. She didn't speak and at first neither did he.

"You wanna talk about it or be distracted from it?"

"He had no right saying those things! Speaking about Vampires as if they were lower than everyone else! It wasn't their fault, they didn't ask to be vampires! They complied with the Decree and with the Ministry. But bloody arseholes like Binns twist everything around to push them on the bad side! He acted as if in 1831 it was the vampire's fault! It wasn't. They were being hunted and killed! Making the Ministry more evil then anyone else. Murderers, the lot of them, and Binns just thinks- just assumes that should the vampires be hunted once more than they are somehow in the wrong. Tell me the logic in that!?" Lily vented. Jonathan wrapped his arms around Lily and she closed her eyes into his shoulder. She hated it. She couldn't stand people like Binns. People who couldn't bother changing.

"There is no logic. Nothing that could justify what they are doing. Nothing," he said to her. He released Lily from his arms. Their brief hug over and Lily felt so much better. The anger was still there, but she felt calmer. Then he gave her another thoughtful look. "And I don't just mean about Vampires."

"Thank you," she said. Jonathan smiled at her softly. And with that the hour was over. The kids spilled out of their classrooms, desperately happy to go to Dinner. Lily felt the heavy air clear between them and she returned his smile.

"Ready for your first Hogwarts dinner?" Lily asked him. He grinned at her, his white teeth gleaming.

"Can't wait."

"So America, huh, what was it like?" Sirius asked. Jonathan sat directly across from Lily, occasionally shooting her glances, making it feel like they were sharing a private joke.

"Wasn't much really compared to here. Just home, I guess," Jonathan answered casually, but seeing as no one was swayed, he continued. "I went to Ilvermonry, that was the Wizarding school. It was in Massachusetts on Mount Greyback. Beautiful place."

"So did your lot not get sorted?" Marlene asked.

"No we did, just not like here, from what I understand. There's four houses: Horned Serpent, Wampus, Thunderbird and Pukwudgie. And when you got to school for the first time, all the kids stepped onto the Gordian Knot in front of the four house statues. Whichever House wants you will react," he explained.

"What's the difference between the Houses?"

"It's kind of hard to explain, but basically Horned Serpent represents your mind, Wampus represents your body, Thunderbird represents your soul, and Pukwudgie represents your heart," Jonathan said with a shrug.

"Which were you in?" Mary wondered.

"Horned Serpent."

"Which one is that again?"

"The mind."

"So is that like the equivalent of Ravenclaw?" Peter asked.

"No, from what I know it seems like Hogwarts Houses are more about your traits when Ilvermorny is more about what part of yourself that you value most. So for me it was my mind I suppose," Jonathan said with another shrug.

"Nice. So what d'you think of Hogwarts?"

"I like it. Food is incredible. The whole castle aura thing is kinda spooky, but it's interesting. The people, yeah the people are pretty great," Jonathan said, shooting her a glance. She felt her heart warm and she beamed at him.

"James, it looks like you've got some competition, eh?" Marlene joked. Sirius turned and glared at her, but James laughed it off. James threw his arm lazily around Lily.

"Mate, it took me two years for Lily to like me back. If you can win her affection in a single night, then cheers to you," James said grinning. Jonathan smiled back.

"It wasn't two years, James. I started fancying you 'round New Year, I reckon, I just didn't realize until like June," Lily said blushing.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You had started dating Melissa, remember?"

"All too well, love, all too well. I wouldn't have if I had known that Lily Evans wanted to become Lily Potter!" James said loudly. Lily blushed and everyone around them broke out into laughter.

"I didn't realise I fancied you until June!"

"And what brought that on, besides my dashing good looks and insurmountable charm?" James asked her. His fingers wrapped around her waist, bringing her closer to him.

"That day down by the Lake right after exams had ended," Lily admitted. Sirius burst out laughing.

"Lily knew she fancied you after you made her run away crying! The pair of you are perfect for each other," Sirius said between breaths because he was laughing so hard.

"I thought you hated me then."

"More like scared of liking you." She felt the heat rising to her cheeks. She felt everyone's eyes on her. Judging her. They were her friends, but they were his friends too. And Lily, somehow felt guilty about not liking James sooner. Not seeing how perfect he was for her. She felt horribly guilty and it weighed on her. She didn't deserve someone like him. Someone who just always knew what he wanted. Who he wanted.

"That's stupid," Sirius said.

"Stuff it, Padfoot," James said. Lily shot James a grateful look and Sirius only shrugged.

"It's still stupid."

"Yeah I know that now," Lily said. Sirius turned to Jonathan.

"The two of them weren't always like this y'know. Not always so vomit-inducing," Sirius said smirking, "They used to hate each other. Then James fell and love and Lily hated him even more when he'd try and ask her out. Then they became friends, begrudgingly. Until the beginning of the year." Jonathan raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Interesting. You guys just seem so in love, I can't imagine you not in love. Then again, I've only known you for like a day," he said with a chuckle. Lily blushed, averting her eyes. She knew James was grinning his head off then.

~James~ A Sprig of Mint

His life was so hectic, but Lily came before all of that. He never envisioned himself so hopelessly in love. He felt like he was drowning, yet he didn't want to take a breath. She was always in his thoughts. And he'd do anything for her. Anything. But he couldn't figure out what to do for their date for the life of him. The typical Hogwarts date would be in Hogsmeade, but Dumbledore said no and, more importantly Lily said no. But it was for the best, any date with Lily shouldn't have to settle for being typical. He wanted something unforgettable. Something she would tell their kids. It didn't even seem absurd to want kids with Lily. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to spend his life with her. Live together, die together. He knew they were young, but so what? As long as they were happy nothing else mattered. James had so many doubts about the future, but he didn't doubt Lily.

"Hey Reginald?" James asked.

"Yes?"

"Where did you take Mary for your first date?"

"I think you mean 'where did she take me?'" Reginald said with a chuckle. "And to answer that, she asked me to Hogsmeade, but I had gotten sick. I didn't want her to think I'd stood her up so I showed up for our date and she took one look at me and started dragging me to Madam Pomfrey's. We spent the day curled up under a blanket, talking for hours. I wouldn't change a thing, 'cept she ended up getting sick too." James watched the boy's face glow with nostalgia.

"I just don't know what to do with her. She doesn't want to sneak out of the castle, because things are so dangerous, but there isn't much date material in here," James said frustrated.

"Then how 'bout you don't sneak out," Reginald stated.

"What do you mean? There's no other way out of the castle."

"Get permission," he said. "You and Lily are the Heads. The most trusted 7th Years. Mary said last year you and Lily got permissoin to leave for a wedding."

"Huh. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask," James said. "But where would we go?"

"I dunno. That part is up to you."

"Yeah I guess it is," James said dejectedly.

"Now what do you reckon adding dandelion roots'll do?" Reginald went on.

"Go for it," James encouraged. They were at that stage. They had a solid base which they recorded so it could be rebrew at any time. Now they needed to experiment. Figure out what would make their potion work. Right now the effects of the potion were making someone excessively dizzy and sort of hypnotic. Obviously not the desired effect. They had had quite a few mishaps. Everyone had. Potions this year involved a lot of yelling, smoke, explosions, and emergencies. A change of pace from following the instructions out of their textbooks.

James looked over to Lily's potion. It was simmering a light blue. Sort of the color of the sky, except the blue was layered with darker hues and a silvery shimmer. He wondered what it was that Lily and Jonathan were actually making. He had never seen a potion that captivating or of that shade. James glanced over to Sirius and Marlene. Surprisingly enough, everyday they worked diligently beside one another. They rarely talked, from what James could gather. And they never so much as looked at each other. Heads down. Work hard. Keep quiet. Count down the minutes. Their potion was a murky greenish color and Sirius seemed frustrated. Marlene was calm and collected but who knows how long that could last. He then looked over to Snape and Remus who were getting along better than expected. They had the same thing going on as Marlene and Sirius. They were simply working together, but James watched as Snape did most of the work. Potions never was Remus' forte and Snape was not the type to let others get in his way. Their potion was, disturbingly, the color of blood. It's bright crimson color that thickly splashed in the boiling cauldron. He knew that Remus would keep Snape in check morally, but he still had a very bad feeling about it. James averted his eyes back to the light green potion that sat in front of him.

"What's wrong?" Reginald asked. James turned to his partner suddenly.

"What? No nothing."

"Oh alright," Reginald said. "I think next class we should look into adding unicorn blood to the potion." James wasn't really paying attention. He was trying to sneak glances back up to Remus, who looked preoccupied.

"Sounds good."

"James!" Reginald scolded.

"What?"

"Were you even listening?"

"Of course. You want to do some more research next class, yeah?" James answered. In truth he had only heard half of it and Reginald wasn't letting this one go, he could tell.

"I said unicorn blood, James, one of the worst, most impure things ever."

"Why would you want to go adding that to our potion!?" James asked.

"I don't," the shorter boy said. "I was seeing if you were paying attention."

"Sorry, I'm just having an off day," James admitted.

"Is this still about your date or lack thereof with Lily?"

"No, I mean that is part of it, but I just have a bad feeling," James said. Reginald looked at him curiously. James stirred their potion absentmindedly and apparantly one times too many, because it began to bubble and turn a lighter and lighter color.

"Is that supposed to happen?" James asked.

"How would I know?" his partner said irritated. The bubbles got bigger and were popping louder and louder. The foaming and bubbles were getting ready to pour over the sides and it had gained the attention of the entire room. James stopped stirring, but he didn't know what to do.

Lily rushed over and took James' spot by the cauldron. She removed the cauldron from the heat and took James' stirrer from his hands. She began to stir the potion counterclockwise. After every third stir she would pour in a swig of honeywater. After a minute or so of this the bubbles all but disappeared and the foam was gone. It had settled into a pale yellow color, the color James and Reginald were attempting to reach at that stage.

"Place the cauldron in a pot of water, that'll regulate the temperature. And add a sprig of mint," Lily said to the two boys, "it'll do wonders for the stability."

"Okay," Reginald immediately said. He rushed off to find a tub of water and James began to cut up the mint. Lily had already returned to her own potion, but James would be sure to thank her later. She had effectively saved their potion. They had an incredible idea and James almost ruined it. It was a good thing she stepped in because they had reached a road block and didn't know what to do.

"Good thing your girlfriend was there," Reginald said. "Could'a been disasterous. Could'a blown the roof off this place." James froze and Reginald gave him a weird look.

"What? I was only joking-"

"No no, not that. I just realized where I want to take Lily for our date."

**AN: Hey all. It's been a hell of a past few weeks. I don't know where you all are, but stay safe out there. Things are getting CRAZY. All the teachers are getting ready for online school and everything by me is closing down. But hey... if I have two weeks (or longer) off than I'll be able to write more. **


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Secrets are No Fun

If there was one thing that Lily had learned about relationships it was that secrets have no place in them. It seems obvious enough. Common sense. It might even seem easy. But it's not. And if you think it is, then you've never been in a position like Lily was. And she was so guilty, yes, but she didn't have a choice. Not when he was so... him. He'd try and save her. He'd try and fix things, but she couldn't let him. This was the lesser of two evils, she convinced herself.

It started when she woke up. Not exactly newsworthy, but that morning was different. She knew it, because she had closed her window last night. It had been quite chilly and she remembered it vividly. Yet she woke early in the morning because of the draft in her room. Groggily, she slammed her window shut again and it didn't occur to her until later that she hadn't opened it last night. And upon waking up for good that day, she found the more peculiar of the two things. A note. A note that wasn't signed. A note that was ever so vague. A note that laid on the pillow she never used. A note, more importantly, in her room that no one but James had access to. But James didn't write the note. She knew that much. There was very little else she was so sure of.

"Oh Lily~" James shouted sing-songily as a wake up call. She shoved the scrap of paper beneath her pillow as James came running. He had gotten in the habit of waking up as early as Lily did so they could spend more time together. He was sweet like that, although he did have a tendency to barge into her room without notice.

"Good morning dear," he said cheerfully.

"Good morning," Lily replied. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing really. Or maybe a lot of things. I don't know," James admitted. His eyes were twinkling.

"Well I'm glad, but I've got to get changed and I'd like to do that without you in here..."

"Only if you're sure. I'm quite good at keeping company, you know," James winked. Lily shook her head at him and pointed to the door. "Alright, alright. Just trying to offer my services."

"Don't put it like that!" Lily said laughing. Even now, hiding a secret she didn't fully understand, he was able to make her laugh. And that made her all the guiltier, because she had no intention of telling him.

"If you insist, my mistress," James grinned as he bowed. Lily smacked him with her pillow, the other pillow.

"Get out," she said. She could still hear his laughs as he returned to his room, but her own smile quickly fell. She snatched her wand from her bedside and the note from beneath her pillow. And with a quick spell, the note was gone with a puff of smoke. No one had to know now.

* * *

"Hey Lily?" he said. She turned to face him. Sirius Black. The elusive Marauder. Damaged and flawed, but perfect at the same time. He was a contradiction. Born from the dark yet he basked in the light. He was broken, sure, but he wore a mask in front of everyone else so no one had to know.

"Yeah?"

"Can I speak with you?"

"'Course," Lily said. She smiled at him, but she wasn't really into it. Neither was he. He had fear written over his features and that scared Lily. She didn't think much could scare Sirius, or maybe everything did and he was simply hiding it.

"Meet me on the path to Hagrid's after Defense," he said quietly. His eyes distracted and hers narrowed.

"Okay- Sirius wait!" she said, but he had already pushed ahead. James glanced back at her with a questioning glance, but Lily dismissed it with a smile. She knew things weren't perfect between James and Sirius yet, but Lily wasn't going to make James worry over something he didn't need to be involved in. And her boyfriend seemed satisfied with that and continued chatting away with Remus.

Classes had never gone so slow. She watched the clock that mocked her from the wall. The hands moving painstakingly slow. She watched and she counted and she only stopped to glance at Sirius. Her gaze met with the back of his silky black hair. His eyes fixed on the floor or the teacher or the ceiling. Anywhere where Lily wasn't. James would reach over and squeeze her hand. Marlene would pass notes behind the professor's back. Peter would make silly comments under his breath. Mary would giggle as Remus scolded James for magically tying Peter's laces together. Yet Lily and Sirius sat there in solemn silence. He felt so far from her and the clock so slow, but the minutes ticked down.

"Professor?" Sirius asked. He stood up in the middle of class. Mr Fawley was in the middle of a lesson neither of them were paying attention to. "May I run to the loo?"

"Sure," Maverick said, quickly returning to teaching. She watched Sirius leave in a hurry, throwing his bag over his shoulder. Once out of view, her eyes returned to the clock. The monotonous tick-tocking would be her undoing. The blunt instrument of tedium.

"Class dismissed," her teacher said, earlier than he had to. He winked at Lily and she gave him an apologetic smile. She slung her own bag over her shoulder and disappeared out the door. The halls were nearly empty and she walked as briskly as possible. She jogged across the Pitch and slowed to a walk on the winding path to Hagrid's. She had time to spare, but Sirius was equally early.

"Lily," he said softly. She spun around and watched him exit from his disguise of the trees. His eyes were more sunken than usual. "Do you have your note?" She shook her head carefully. It didn't surprise Lily that Sirius had gotten one too. They were similar in this way.

"Burned it. Couldn't let James see it accidentally."

"Good. James- he can't know," Sirius said. His voice shook as he spoke.

"I know," Lily agreed. "So what do we do about it?"

"Everything we can. I don't care what it takes." They stood in silence for a moment longer.

"Who do you think sent it?" Lily asked.

"Not _Him_ directly," Sirius said, shuddering. "but under his orders, so it doesn't matter. This is real. We don't have a choice. But remember Rule 15 and if I tell you to run, then you have to run."

"But that doesn't mean endangering yourself. We will do what we must, but no self-sacrificing. Not for some stupid rulebook," Lily told him. Lily wasn't going to let Sirius get that into his head.

"You may think it's stupid, but it isn't. You read the same note as I did. Voldemort is after me and he's after you. And you know better than anyone that Hogwarts isn't as safe as it seems."

"Of course I know that, but we are going to be a team. I don't want you playing hero for me. Not for my sake and not for James'."

"This is bigger than you. Than James," Sirius said, his voice raising. "Lily, you have no idea the asset you are going to be to the Order. You think of yourself like you're just some girl. You aren't! You're going to be the one who tips the scales in this war. Not me, not James, not even Dumbledore. You heard him, this isn't his fight."

"How does that equate to it being mine?" Lily demanded. Sirius was scaring her. His eyes wild and voice oozing with passion and sacrifice. Scary thoughts. Reckless thoughts.

"I've never met anyone like you. You're bold and a fighter and you have this stubborn righteous that never fails you. You're intelligent and you're just better. Better than the rest of us."

"I am not bett-"

"No." His voice was so firm it scared her. "You are, Lily Evans. Maybe people are stronger than you, smarter than you. Doesn't matter. You're better. You're mind, you're heart..." His voice trailed off then. Her heart was picking up. He wasn't making sense. This wasn't the normal him. Yet, she thought, the normal him was just a shell. Something to protect everyone else from seeing his brokenness. Maybe she didn't know him the way she thought she did.

"I-"

"Promise me you'll run. You'll run like hell if I say. You'll follow me blindly when I call, because you'll have to be ready. You'll have to trust me on this one, Tigerlily, I know them too well," Sirius said. The intensity in his eyes compelled her.

"I will," she promised. But I'll be damned if I don't make sure you're running with me, she added in her head.

"Good. Now we should head back inside." He looked relieved, but Lily was anything but.

"When did it all start? The war, I mean," Lily asked as they retraced their steps up to the castle.

"What do you mean? Voldemort started the war."

"No," she began. "He didn't. He didn't stand up and declare a war. There are no armies. No definitive sides. No battlefields. Just death and hatred in the shadows. So when did this all start? Why is it picking up traction now?"

"Because the other side started killing more people. Everyone else, who isn't sick in the head, knew that they had to put a stop to it," Sirius answered. He seemed confused as to what she was asking him.

"But who, Sirius? The Order is only a small group of ragtag wizards and witches. The Aurors are under Ministry control and to be frank, the Ministry isn't doing much at all. Everyone is scared. If I'm being honest, the only people who aren't sick in the head are the ones who went into hiding straight away. The rest of us are in for a whole lot of I don't even know, but it won't be good."

"Well I can't really answer that. Maybe war is the wrong term for this. Maybe it's simply terrorism. And the rest of us are just people who are fed up with being collateral damage," he said. Lily nodded.

"I hope so, because if this is anything like a Muggle war... too many people will die. Millions, Sirius, millions."

~James~ Red White and Blue

"James!" a voice whispered in the night. A knock pounded on his window frame. He turned to the voice, but saw a blurry version of the inky black night sky. Shoving his glasses onto his face, he saw a silhouette outside. Unlatching the window, he called back out into the night.

"It's Jonathan," the voice said out of breath. Jonathan Blake. The American. He had been sorted Ravenclaw, so he no longer ate meals with the Gryffindor's, but James was always sure to say hi to the bloke in the halls. But it was merely friendliness. James had no true desire to become this guy's friend. Jonathan was Lily's friend and James didn't really want to be anything more than courteous. Somehow, that didn't explain why he was hovering at his windowsill past midnight.

"What are you doing out there?" James said in hushed tones. He flung the window all the way open and ushered Jonathan inside. It was difficult to maneuver with Jonathan dismounting his broom while entering a window, but they managed.

"Needed... to... talk," Jonathan said. James waited for him to catch his breath, but Jonathan hurried with his words. "There's no time. Lily... Sirius-"

"What about them?" James demanded. "Are they alright!?" Jonathan only shook his head.

"They're in trouble. They didn't want you to know."

"What do you mean? Where are they?" Jonathan wasn't making any sense and this wasn't something James was going to take lightly. His friends were in trouble.

"I don't know! But they're flying into trouble, James."

"Do they know that?" he asked.

"Yes, I mean I think. We need to go after them!" Jonathan said. James grabbed his own broom from the corner and was out the window in a flash. Dying from a fall that high wasn't exactly his highest concern at the moment.

"And it was just Sirius and Lily? No one else?"

"No one else," Jonathan affirmed. Why didn't they tell me, he thought, what don't they want me to know?

"Which way?

"Just follow me."

* * *

"Are we lost?" James asked. The darkness seemed to suffocate him. Trees. Skies. The moon. A random house here and there. Nothing that stuck out and no one else in the sky.

"I don't know," Jonathan gritted between his teeth. "Just be quiet. They should've been here."

"How do you know? How did you know any of this?" James demanded. He stopped his broom to face Jonathan. Something didn't feel right. Jonathan left something out of his story. Jonathan circled back to the clearing James hovered over. James removed his wand from his cloak.

"There's no time, James! Dammit we need to keep going!"

"I want answers, Blake, and I want them now," James said. Was it a trap? Was Lily and Sirius both sound asleep back at the castle? Was he being lured out into a trap? Possibilities flew through James' head and the more he thought the less he trusted him. Was he a Death Eater planted in Hogwarts? Was he even from America? Was his name even Jonathan Blake?

"Put your wand away. You've got this all wrong."

"Do I? Why don't you tell me exactly what's going on then?" James said.

"If you're just going to stand there and let your girlfriend and best friend die then that's on you! I'm leaving. I'm not playing your stupid games," Jonathan said, speeding away on his broom. James was only more confused, but followed the American anyways. It was a trap, a trick. It had to be. Yet against his better judgement we flew on, because he simply couldn't take the risk that Lily and Sirius were actually in trouble even if that meant his own demise.

"Blake," his voice low. "Where are we going?"

"I am going to find them," Jonathan said, "I'll tell you what I know later." James had to bite his lip in order to feign silence. He wanted to blast Jonathan with some curse or force Veritaserum down his throat or- or something. But he couldn't so he had to keep flying in that suffocating darkness.

"There!" Jonathan whispered. A clearing was below them. A break from the trees. And a cabin was in the center of the woods, illuminated by the moonlight.

"What's the plan?"

"We wait," he said. "And then we save their asses."


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~ Almost

Sirius had come in the night for her. He always had been athletic, but she never really appreciated his agility until then. He had snuck through the window, stories up from the ground. It was the only way in or out of her room for anyone but Lily or James now that James changed the passwords. She was coming to realize that she should invest in a window lock.

"Lily, it's time," he had said. She was up and ready in seconds. He was perched on her window sill, his hair blowing in the wind, his hand stretched out to her. Lily grabbed it, trusting blindly in him as promised. And whether they jumped or fell was debatable, but she knew that she had to swallow her screams. They had their wands out and cushioned their blows. She stumbled, but got to her feet quickly. They passed the entrance to the school and walked in the shadows. Sirius pulled two brooms he had stashed from behind a bush out and handed one to Lily.

"I presume you still know how to fly one of these?" Sirius asked.

"Not like James does, but I won't slow you down," Lily said. She swung a leg over the broom and readied for takeoff.

"Not yet," he said. "We have to walk for awhile. We need to talk."

"So what is the plan?" Normally Lily would want to be very involved in the making of this sort of plan, but she was hopelessly out of her depths here. She was a Muggleborn and her Hogwarts education would never ready her for this. She hated to say it, but only someone who was raised pureblood would be able to figure this mess out.

"The note said they were coming to collect us, but it didn't say when or where they were bringing us. But thanks to my extensive inbred family, there are a few who aren't complete morons. And one in particular who had some contacts on the inside and she passed the info onto me. They were coming for us tonight. My brother and Snape were going to take us. It was going to be their test of loyalty as well as getting the job done," Sirius told her. She breathed in harder than she would've liked at the sound of Severus's name.

"Bellatrix said they were going to test them. I just didn't think they knew about Sev and I," Lily said.

"They know it all, Lily. And they won't hesitate for a second to use that against you... or him."

"I know that, alright, I was just taken aback. Just go on about the info you received."

"There's a village up near the mountains. Not too far from here, but far enough via broom. If you head east and follow a dirt path you'll find a house. That's where they were going to take us. Voldemort himself will be there at half past the hour. We need to be in and out before he arrives," Sirius explained.

"What are we still doing here then?"

"We can't arrive before Regulus and Snape are supposed to arrive."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so we have a short time frame, but it's doable. Get in, knock-out guards, burn the list, burn the goddamn world down, and make sure dear Reggy and Snivellus aren't conscious when we leave," Sirius explained with a grin.

"Sirius," she said slowly, "No burning the world down tonight, okay?" He started laughing.

"Fine. Next time maybe..."

"Only if you're good," she joked.

"I have a feeling that your definition of good is not the same as mine." A warm feeling erupted in her chest as he grinned at her. Sirius had a fair few different types of smiles, but this one was rare. It was genuine and reserved for typically only James.

Behind him she saw the two boys they were waiting for. Each were levitating a life size replica of the Gryffindors. They were very life-like, creepily so, but it was good to know that Regulus and Severus fell for it.

"They are here," Lily said, inching closer to the tree. Sirius huddled beside her and fingered his wand. Sirius moved to step out from the darkness, but Lily held him back.

"What are you doing?" Sirius hissed.

"Let them go. They think they're winning, so let them go."

"Is Snape really still your weakness? After everything he's done?" Even in hushed whispers his words stung. That warm feeling he had created withered inside of her.

"As if Regulus isn't yours?" she shot back. "Let them go. You gave them the decoys. The guards'll know something is up if they don't arrive on time. They might jump the gun and kill them both for failing their task. I don't know about you but I'm not letting that happen." He scowled at her.

"Fine, but mount your broom. We'll trail behind them."

The two Gryffindors jumped on their brooms and waited for the boys to take off into the night. Lily's heart raced as they stood there. She was torn when she saw Regulus. She knew his inner struggle raged on. He had already done so much for her and all he asked for was her silence. Yet she found herself wanting to tell Sirius. Wanting to ease the pain he felt for failing his little brother.

"Hurry Black, it'll be our heads if we're late," Severus warned. Regulus fastened the bodies to the magic carpet. Lily prayed that the transfigured socks would stay looking like Lily and Sirius. If not, she didn't know what would happen, but it wouldn't be good.

"Don't you think I know that?" Regulus said bitterly, "And watch your mouth, because you and I both know I'm the only reason you're even getting this chance, Snape."

"Let's just go," he said, "It's later than I would've liked to leave."

"Stay below the treeline," Sirius said as he took off. She followed him, hoping he knew what he was doing.

* * *

Lily smelled their destination before she saw it. She smelled smoke. Wood smoke, to be exact. It was tough flying just below the treeline, because of all the trees in the way, but they managed. The night was clear and cool and very, very quiet. It was well into the early morning, so she wasn't expecting to smell a fire in the middle of no where. But the pair of them flew onward and saw it. A cabin. The source of the smoke, she presumed, and the location of their potential downfall. They hovered at the edge of the clearing, not daring to say a word. They watched the magic carpet touchdown and a woman exit the cabin to meet them.

The cabin was a poster child for the location of murders in horror movies, complete with witches and wizards. Lily was not looking forward to entering, because no matter how stealthy they were, they would be forced into confrontation. The cabin was just too small for anything else to happen. Hopefully that meant there would not be too many people, but still.

"When?" Lily risked a whisper. Severus and Regulus had been ushered into the cabin and she knew they didn't have much time. If the Death Eaters found out Severus and Regulus had brought transfigured socks father then the two Gryffindors then they would pay the price. Lily owed that much to Regulus to not let that happen.

"Now," he said. Jumping off their brooms, they started sprinting across the lawn. No alarms or spells of any sort seemed to be triggered, so that much was good at least. Lily pressed her back against the wooden cabin and inched her way over towards the door, avoiding the windows. Lily pulled James' invisibility cloak from her robes and threw it over Sirius and herself. He gave her a look that she took to mean 'good thinking'. She didn't want to rely on Disillusionment Charms again. Too risky.

They stood up to peak into the windows of the cabin. There only seemed to be two rooms. A bedroom and presumably a living area. The bedroom was empty, except for a stack of papers and a few snapped wands strewn on the bed. When they reached the window that looked into living area, watching the two Slytherins and the woman standing around a steaming cauldron. A short, stout wizard stood by the door, acting as some sort of a guard. Something seemed familiar about him, but Lily couldn't place it. Perhaps it was Avery? She didn't know, nor particularly care.

"We can't go through the front door," Sirius said, "And I don't see a back entrance."

"What about the storm door?" He gave her a weird look, but she grabbed his hand and pulled him to follow. As predicted the cabin had a storm door that should lead to the basement.

"Alohamora," Lily whispered. She didn't know what was in the basement, but at least it got them inside. Due to Lily's silencing charms they were able to enter without raising suspicion. They pulled the next door open to the cement floored basement and her heart dropped. She was about to cry out, but Sirius put his hand over her mouth and the other he slipped into her hand.

Her parents. Her parents were here. Bloody and bound to the wall. Her breaths were erratic as she tried to figure out what this meant. Her parents. God, her parents were here! They were kidnapped and who knows what they did to them. Lily moved across the floor to go attempt to help them, but the door to the basement creaked open.

"Go grab the prisoner and bring them down, would you?" the woman asked. She had a sickly sweet voice and it made Lily lurch. The woman's steps got louder and Sirius' grip on her hand got tighter.

"Rose, Frederick," she greeted. Lily watched her father's eyes blearily stare daggers at this woman, but her mother was still out cold. "I've got a surprise for you, y'know. You're daughter is here. Lily." Her father's eyes grew enraged.

"Let her go," he demanded. "I don't know what do you want with us? I'll give it to you, just let Lily and Rose go. Please."

"Frederick, it's a shame you're just a muggle. You seem like you could've been an intelligent bloke, but yet what I want you cannot give me. Your daughter, on the other hand, can. You are just insurance. As for your wife, I don't think we'll be needing her for much longer. She seems like she's at the end of her road, don't you?"

"Don't touch her!" her dad yelled. He strained against the chains that bound him.

"Oh I don't think I need to. That potion I gave you should do the trick." Lily wanted to rush over and do something. Save her parents. Her dear mother and father. They were innocent. She needed to save them.

Regulus and Severus were carrying the bodies down the stairs and I was too busy staring at my parents to notice Severus. He was squinting at the imitation of Lily he carried. He knew something was off.

"You," Lily's father hissed. Severus' head shot up. For a second, a very brief second, guilt flickered in his eyes. Her father's eyes only held fury. And Lily was equally mad. It wasn't fair.

"Do you know him, Snape," the woman asked, amused.

"He is the father of Lily Evans," Severus grunted. Lily felt Sirius tug on her sleeve. She turned to him under the cloak and he showed her his watch. They didn't have very much time left before Voldemort arrived. They needed to make a move now. Sirius slipped a finger to his lips and nodded. His wand slipping out of the cloak with a careful deliberation.

Lily recognized the spell. Stupefy. It was a shame that Regulus did too. The burst of green light was hard to ignore. A Shield Charm was sent out faster than the spell could hit. And soon enough spells were flying everywhere. Sirius and Lily moved as a unit. It felt like they were veteran fighters or something the way they moved. And for a second it even seemed like they were winning. That is until the woman ripped the cloak from above their heads.

"Look who it is," she said. That smile was unnerving, but Lily didn't let it show. The woman, with one silent spell, bound their wrists. Their wands clattered to the floor, Lily's hope falling with them.

"Snape!" the woman hissed, "Collect the wands!"

"Lily?" her dad cried. He looked at the two Lily's in tragic confusion.

"An invisibility cloak, huh? I've never quite seen one like this. I think," she mused, "that the Dark Lord will be ever so interested." The woman's words overlapped each other in her smooth sultry tone.

Sirius glanced at his watch than back to Lily and shook his head. Lily turned to her father. The man who kept her sane at times where sanity didn't seem like an option.

"I love you, Dad," she said, "Mum too. And I'm sorry." Somehow, Mr. Evans found the strength within him to smile.

"How sweet," the woman said to Lily, but Lily only offered her a glare. She felt Regulus and Severus staring at her, trying to catch her eye. She knew that if no one was watching then Regulus and Severus wouldn't hesitate in helping them escape. It was too bad this woman was here. She was interrupting Sirius' backup plan.

"You never did tell us your name," Lily said. "I'm Lily Evans, but you already knew that."

"Lily Evans, yes of course. Me, however, I am not someone anyone ever noticed. I'm the one that history forgets. The one who no one ever cared about. Who would remember a measly Hufflepuff anyway, especially not one that shared typical pureblood values," the woman went on. She didn't seem very old. Not particularly young, but not old.

"Well you seem quite memorable to me," Lily told her. It was a truth and lie. Truthfully, how could one forget the woman who was holding her wand to your face and kidnapping your innocent parents. But she just had a forgettable face. She had a look about her that just allowed her to fade into the background. Nothing that stuck out. Even her voice would've been drab except for the venomous tone.

"I wished I cared enough what a mudblood like you thought, but my master cares. My master notices," the woman said. Lily knew the woman must've went through some sort of hardship, some sort of pain to seek attention at such lengths.

"Can you grant me your name, at the very least?" Lily asked. She had to keep talking. She needed to be a distraction. That's what Sirius told her. Keep the woman talking no matter what.

"Willow Selwyn," she said, "Yes that's right: I'm a Selwyn. One of the last of the line except for my dreadful cousin and idiot brother. Neither of them matched my intellect. Dolores was all about her silver tongue and Anders was all brawn. Neither of them could've bested me in a duel, nor on an exam. Yet my parents always favored Anders. Said he was going places yet ickle me would be lucky to get a husband."

"That's terrible."

"I know. And he was always the rule breaker. Still is. I've had to vouch for him to the Dark Lord one too many times. If he breaks another rule, I won't say a word," Willow sneered. That was when her wand clattered to the floor. Everyone stopped in shock.

"You're right, Willow." Sirius said, standing up. He left his chains in a pile on the floor and scooped up her wand, "breaking rules is a shame. Rule 12: always carry an extra wand." He bound Willow Selwyn just as she had bound us. He broke Lily's chains as well as her parent's.

"Duel him, you prats!" Willow shrieked. In the span of a few seconds Sirius shouted a spell she couldn't hear and the room was lit up green for a moment or so. All she knew was that Willow Selwyn now looked unnaturally still and unnaturally pale. Severus looked furious and went to flick his wrist to fire at Sirius, but Lily jumped in front.

"Don't do it, Severus," Lily warned. Severus' wand shook, but he didn't lower it. "Please, Sev. Voldemort is coming and my parents- my parents are hurt. Just let us go."

"He's coming?" Severus asked. His voice trembled and his wand lowered, "You need to get out, Lily! Now!"

Lily and Sirius rushed to grab their wands and James' cloak and levitate her parents out of the storm shelter door. They had finally gotten onto the grass when Lily had a sinking feeling. She turned to Sirius.

"The list!" she said frantic, "We forgot to burn the list!" Sirius looked like he wanted to kick something, but he stayed silent.

"Take your parents, Lily, and run," he said to her. He turned to go back inside, but Lily grabbed his arm

"You can't. Severus won't help you like he helped me. I might even get him to burn the paper for me, but get my parents to the woods," Lily pleaded. Sirius gave her a blazing look and nodded. He started lifting the Evan's to the safety of the woods as they both heard a loud popping noise. Someone just apparated and they both knew who, but Lily was already back in the basement. They almost escaped.

~James~ The Semantics of Bravery

"There's Sirius," James nearly shouted. They had been waiting so long James was ready to just go bursting through the doors. And seeing Sirius said two things: Sirius was here, and where the hell was Lily? James was swooping down in the air the second he saw Sirius dash across the lawn and Jonathan was right behind him. The closer he got the more his heart dropped. Sirius was levitating something, someone. A woman. He thought it was Lily, and it did look like her, but it wasn't. It was Lily's mom and he felt horrible about the relief he felt.

"Padfoot," James said. So many emotions were mixed in his voice.

"She's inside, Prongs, I'm sorry. I tried. I tried, but it was the only way. She had to-" Sirius rambled. The only time James saw him this scared was curled in the library walls in Diagon Alley after being chained and tortured by his own parents. That's when James realized how bad this was.

"She's inside the house!? Can she get out?" James demanded.

"He's here, James," Sirius said with wide eyes.

"Let's go then. Let's go save her!" James wasn't sure who he was, but it didn't sound good and he wasn't wasting time to ask.

"Her dad. I promised her."

"Jonathan'll get him," James said, "I need you with me." Jonathan and Sirius both nodded.

"The door's out front," James told Sirius.

"No, Lily found another entrance. This way," Sirius said, pulling him around back. Sirius lifted two doors from the ground and lowered himself inside. They held their ears to the next door.

"-stupid girl. Such a Gryffindor in that way. They never seem to grasp that the line between bravery and stupidity is nonexistent. It is all in the eyes of the beholder. You didn't save your parents and you didn't save Sirius Black. My people will find them and they will kill them. Your parents are good as dead anyways. The cauldron upstairs, it holds a poison, a poison dear Severus concocted from the depths of his mind. They'll be dead by dusk." The voice was shrill and thin. It sounded the way flinching felt. Sudden. Scary. It made James blink and want to keep his eyes closed.

"I know," Lily said. "And I want to broker a deal."

The voice laughed then. It rose a octave or so in their surprise. "A deal!? No one makes deals with Lord Voldemort, they only beg. Beg for their life, for my mercy, for their silly gods to save them. They don't understand that I don't have mercy. I am a God in my own right and Gods don't have mercy."

"Voldemort?" James mouthed in... fear, shock, pure disbelief. Sirius' nod was almost imperceptible.

"I had heard rumors," Lily said," that you were stronger than all other. Where others failed, you succeeded. You fought death and won." James wasn't sure what she was talking about. She sounded so calm. So undisturbed by the presence of a man who hated her blood. A man worse than a murderer, because he wasn't a man at all. He was a monster committing genocide.

"Did you truly?" Voldemort said pleased. "Well let's hear your 'deal' then. What could a common girl like you have to offer someone who achieved immortality, as you pointed out?"

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you had me kidnapped for a reason. I must hold some sort of appeal to someone like you. I was more than just a test for Severus. You went through the trouble of collecting my parents. You could've killed them, you could've killed me. Yet here I stand. So tell me, my Lord, tell me what can I do for you and all I ask is that you spare my family," Lily asked. James' heart felt all twisted. How could she speak so civilly. How could she do anything, but stand there and shout and fight the shell of a man.

"You intrigue me, Lily Evans. A girl so young, so inconsequential it would seem. Yet you captured the heart of who will soon be my most treasured Potion Master. He came to me, you see, begging me to spare your life. I don't spare lives, I don't do mercy. Mercy gives hope. But the boy convinced me of your use. You hold the ear of Dumbledore. You are Head Girl. Top of your class. You befriended the likes of Blacks and Potters. Slughorn pines for you to join his collection as well."

"And that makes you want me? A mudblood like myself?" He hated the way she sounded so at ease saying that word.

"I don't want. I don't hope or wish or desire. I have and I do. And you, Lily Evans, you are mine."

"Yours," she repeated slowly, not disagreeing.

"No outbursts? No complaints or defiant pleas or hopeless feats of Gryffindorian stupidity?"

"You call it stupid, but I disagree," she said calmly.

"You dare-"

"I am not stupid. When I was sorted the Hat wanted to place me in Slytherin. He said that was where I fit. That is where I should've gone, yet my blood made me stand out. I never would've been accepted. It told me not to forget my cunning side nor my ambition. It said I would be needing it. So the semantics of bravery do not apply. For me it boils down to acts of personal loyalty. That is why I had Sirius take my parents. That is why I ask you to spare them."

"You will make a fine spy, Lily Evans. But remember our 'deal' can be backed out of should you break it and remember my policy on mercy when you weigh your loyalties in the end," he said grinning.

"Nothing needs to be weighed, my lord. You know where I stand." And that was when James' resolve broke. The last time that happened he was kissing Lily, now he could not be further from it.

He burst through the door and fired spell after spell. All he wanted was to cause as much damage as he could. Sirius was right behind him and they fought like devils. Blow after blow, but it seemed almost pointless as Voldemort laughed. The snake of a man had the audacity to laugh. Him with his silver tongue flicking, venomous words dripping, manipulating his pure Lily's heart.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" James screamed. It was desperate. He knew he sounded desperate. He just wanted to help. To fix. To save. To rescue. He wanted to scoop Lily up in his arms and wrap a Time Turner around their necks and fix this mess before it even happened. How come he couldn't just help people? Why wouldn't people just let him?

"James Potter, a shameful excuse for a pureblood," Voldemort said. He smiled with too much teeth, like he was baring them rather then expressing joy. Everything about him just set James' brain on alert.

"Leave. Her. Alone."

"I have no use for mudbloods regardless. Information is valuable, yet the witch couldn't even manage to give me that. Had you not come sooner my wand might have just... slipped," Voldemort said, but he was lying. James raised his wand.

"Why aren't you killing us?"

"I'm not evil as you think, Potter. I won't spill good blood for no reason. Take your witch and go. And don't try defying me again. Next time I won't be so... lenient." James snatched Lily and Sirius' hands and apparated as far away as possible. Potter Manor.

Lily ripped her hand from James' and ran from the inside of the house to outside. She knew from her time there that only Potters could apparate inside. She needed to get out of the house to leave.

"LILY!" he shouted. What was going on with her? Was she drugged? Or... was this her true self? The part she was always hiding from him. He ran after her grabbing her arm. Was she really going to leave him after he just saved her? Was she really returning to You-Know-Who? Tears streamed down her face.

"Stop it," she cried. She struggled to free herself from him.

"Then stay!"

"Let me go James," she begged. His grip was iron tight on her. "Please!"

"So you can run back to your precious lord?" James sneered viciously. She flinched away from him.

He felt like a string that was pulled back too far, snapping would be be inevitable and painful and humiliating. He had been pushed too far and taken advantage of for too long. So snap, he did.

"I need to save my parents, you arsehole!" she said. She ripped her arm away from him in his shock.

"We're done, Evans. We're over!" He shouted as she apparated as he reached to grab her again. He could smell her stupid vanilla shampoo in the spot she had just vacated.

"Dammit!" he said to no one in particular. It wasn't aimed at Lily or himself, but perhaps whatever cruel fate was out there. Whatever higher being that made things the way they were because James was so done.

**AN: Oops. Breakup Pt. 2. Things'll work out in the end... I think. I haven't written much further than this, but the end approaches.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~

Lily refused to think as she ran back through the woods. She saw her parents hiding spot after looking for a few minutes. They were tucked carefully behind a alcove of bushes, but she didn't expect to see a figure hovering over them. Dressed in dark cloaks, the person was very concealed. She heard muffled voices. Voices meant life. Thank God.

"Mr Evans, please let me help you," Severus begged.

"You- you need to go." Lily's father was struggling to speak, struggling to stay conscious too.

"Dad," she said, rushing to them. Severus turned, frozen at the sight of her.

"He's with that woman, Lily. Get out of here-" her father tried to say. He was coughing then. Breathing was hard for him.

"Dad," she cried, "It's okay. You can trust him. He can help." Severus procured two flasks from his pockets. She knew he would have the antidote. Personal loyalty, she had said, but in truth she had been quoting Severus. He had told her that one time, a few years ago. It hadn't made sense to her then, but it did now.

"Mr Evans this should help," Severus said. He was avoiding Lily's gaze.

"Should?" Lily never knew Severus to deal in anything but absolutes when it came to potions. Severus had administered the antidote to both of her parents by then, but Lily needed to know exactly what to expect. Exactly what poison and what antidote.

"The poison," he said, "the Dark Lord asked me to make it. He didn't ask for an antidote, but I tried, Lily, I tried. I couldn't make one that worked right. No combination worked. Then for the potions project, Lupin and I were making a potion that I had been tinkering around with. A potion that could save you from the brink of death. We've been making a lot of progress, but it isn't perfect. It's missing something, but I couldn't just do nothing."

"Thank you Severus," she said. "but will they be okay?" Her mother, who had been so pale, was already starting to regain color.

"For now, but the poison was strong. I'm not sure the antidote is strong enough to counter it yet."

"How long?"

"At worst a few weeks," he said, wincing. "but they are strong. They could survive it. I'll work on the potion, Lily."

"Thank you, Severus. I mean it. You went back for me."

"Always," he promised. She had never seen his features so gentle. So genuine and vulnerable. His eyes softened when he looked at her. And despite all the trials and tribulations they went through. Despite every time they stood opposing one another, they still cared. He cared for her and her for him. They shared a bond that couldn't be broken, because he would always come back even when he no longer had any reason to.

"I have to go. I'll take them to St Mungo's. See what they can do."

"I'll send you more of the potion in case things take a turn for the worst. It's still missing something, perhaps you can distinguish it," Severus said carefully. She smiled at him, holding the hands of her parents as she readied for her journey.

"Stay safe, Sev." And with that she apparated away.

Lily was so tired. Tired of this war. Of death and disease and hurt. Of choosing sides and betrayal and loss of innocence. She just wanted rest. She wanted to forget the anger in James' eyes, the understanding in Sirius', and the love in Severus'. Things should've been easier. Now she had Voldemort's and Severus' trust over James'. She didn't want that. She just wanted to survive. She just wanted to see the stars one more time. To save her parents. To make up with her sister. To see James. To fall in love with him all over again when he kissed her. There was so much more left in her life and she wanted that. So she said what she had to. She did what needed to be done. Was that so wrong?

"Miss Evans?" a healer called out. She jumped up from her chair. Her head was spinning but she didn't care. She hadn't slept and it was getting to her.

"How are they?" The healer gave her a once over. Running his eyes over the bags under her eyes, the blood on her clothes, the wrinkled clothes, the desperation in her eyes.

"Better. They shouldn't be, but they are. Especially for muggles they are making an incredible recovery. The amount of poison administered should've killed them within the day, yet they live and are doing better." The healer shook his head in disbelief as he spoke. He was glancing at Lily curiously, as if asking her to have an explanation for their miraculous recovery, but she only grinned.

"Can I see them?"

"Yes, your mother has been asking for you," the healer said. Lily's heart raced. Her mother. Her mum who had been too close to death. 'The brink of death' Severus had said. Perhaps the potion wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn good. "Follow me."

"Mum," she said. Rose Evans was sitting up in bed. Yes she looked pale and tired, but she looked alive. She looked happy as she learned to play Wizard's Chess against her husband.

"Oh Lily!"

"Mum I'm so sorry," she said over and over. Lily mumbled her apologies as she sobbed in her mother's hair as they embraced. Her mother's arms wrapping so tightly around Lily's back. She was warm and Lily felt so safe. Nothing else mattered in that moment. No other problems or people or drama even flitted into her mind. 'They were okay. They were alive.'

~James~

"James, I think you're overreacting a pinch-"

"Overreacting!" he roared. He saw Sirius flinch, but James didn't back down. "You heard her same as I. She didn't hesitate. She didn't stop and think. She didn't flinch. She didn't even try and fight back!"

"You don't know the whole story," Sirius responded.

"Right," he said bitterly, "I forgot my ex-girlfriend and you were sneaking off behind my back. Running around with You-Know-Who." He was practically spitting his words now.

"You aren't thinking straight." Sirius shook his head.

"Ex?" Remus said. He voice rose up in disbelief.

"You heard me."

"Don't get all pissy with me," Remus said defensively. "I just woke up and you sound insane. So you owe Wormtail and I an explanation."

"Where is Wormtail anyway?" Sirius asked.

"Probably getting breakfast early with his girlfriend," Remus suggested.

"No. He wasn't here when we got back a few hours ago," Sirius said. Remus shrugged.

"Maybe he spent the night with her. Check the map." After a few moments of James' silent brooding and Sirius fumbling for the map, Sirius looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Slytherin Common Room," Sirius said. "Wormtail is in the Slytherin Common Room."

"What? With who?"

"Rosier..."

"Come on then. Let's go!" Remus said, grabbing his wand. James was up and ready too, because furious or not, he was going to help his friend.

"Wait, he's leaving the Common Room now. He's probably coming back this way and he's alone," Sirius said. James peered at the map over Sirius' shoulder. Sirius asked the question they were all thinking. "What is Peter doing having a chat with Evan Rosier?"

The three boys were all sitting unnaturally stiff on their respective beds when Peter walked in. The smallest boy took in Remus' bed head, James' facial expression reminiscent of anger, and Sirius with his tired yet unforgiving eyes.

"Where have you been?" Remus asked. James was glad Remus was doing the talking. He was probably the most mentally sound at the moment. Probably at all moments, but nevermind.

"Just taking a stroll. What are you lot playing at? My mother?" Peter joked. None of them laughed. Sirius lifted the Marauder's Map like it was an explanation in full. Peter's eyes widened at it and James could practically see the gears twisting and turning in his head.

"He just wanted to talk," Peter said. James looked at Peter. He was different now. Ever since the summer he had been changing. He had been losing weight progressively, but James had just thought it was from some potion. Yet paired with his always pale complexion and newfound nervous twitch, something felt off. Not to mention he was always disappearing.

"Evan Rosier?" Sirius asked. "And you gave him the time of day?" His words were spoken like their meaning's were akin to poison. It made James' blood boil, because that was exactly how he felt with Lily.

"Well I didn't know it was him. I just got a note so I went."

"A note?" For some reason Sirius sounded afraid.

"Yeah."

"And you went to the Slytherin Common Room?"

"No actually. It said by the Potions Room. Evan just made me walk with him, because Filch was coming," Peter explained.

"Evan is it? The pair of you chummy like that?" Sirius demanded.

"No!" Peter said. "It's not like that. I just- he just wanted to talk."

"What about, Peter? Just say it already."

"I dunno. We never got around to the actual talking part. I think he wanted information though. He seemed to know that Sirius wasn't in the dorms," Peter said. "Speaking of, where were you?"

"Out," Sirius said flatly. He grabbed a quill and parchment and began to write furiously.

"What're you doing?"

"Writing to Lily."

"What?" James demanded. Sirius glared at him.

"Just because you're being neurotic and stubborn doesn't mean I'm going to stop talking to her," Sirius said accusingly.

"Well that's the pot calling the kettle black," James retorted. Rolling his eyes, Sirius swung his curtains closed. James did the same, not wanting to answer Peter's questions or Remus' demanding stares. He just wanted rest. Rest and clarity, because his mind and heart were battling. And if the past proves anything, he knew which would win and he didn't want it to. Not this time.

He heard the owl's calls before his eyes even opened. He hadn't been planning on falling asleep, but that's what pulling an all-nighter top-secret last-minute mission does to a bloke. But his eyes snapped open when he recognized the owl's calls.

Cleo, Lily's owl.

He knew Sirius was writing her, but still. He hated that he was so obsessed. He even knew her owl's cries. Why did he have to care so much? Better yet, why did she have to betray him like that? Betray herself like that? Gut-wrenching heart-breaking betrayal. It wasn't fair. They were finally happy, but now he was questioning everything. Had the hat really wanted to sort her Slytherin?

"What did she say?" James couldn't help but ask as Sirius read through his letter.

"It's not really any of your business." His tone was slightly too harsh. The edge too sharp.

"I'm her boyfri-"

"Ex-boyfriend, James. You have no right to be concerned."

"Just because we aren't dating anymore doesn't mean I can't be concerned for her!" James insisted, but the words hurt so bad.

"Sure it doesn't. But if you really want to be there for her, be a true _friend_ then reach out yourself," Sirius then added. "See how broken she is for yourself."

"Broken?"

"Broken, James," he repeated. "Maybe try understanding, rather than jumping to conclusions..."

"Then explain it to me!" James demanded. "How can I understand if you won't tell me?"

"Because you haven't been listening! We escaped and you were already grabbing her like she was some insolent child. Already trying to put a leash on her," Sirius said. "And yesterday I tried giving you the benefit of the doubt. I thought maybe you just needed to calm down, but I was wrong."

"What are you saying? That I should go talk to her?"

"No. You're not hurting her anymore. Not today."

"What about my feelings, Sirius? She agreed to be You-Know-Who's spy, or did that not register with you!? How am _I_ supposed to trust her? How do _I_ know if she's been lying to me all along?" James said. It hurt. His head hurt. His heart hurt.

"It's called faith, James!"

"It's called seeing is believing. And I saw her, I heard her pledging herself to him!" James said back.

"Just talk to her. Later," Sirius said, "Please. You've both overcome too much to be stopped by this. Something so trivial as a misunderstanding."

"It's not a misunderstanding. I understood perfectly. What I don't understand is why you aren't as mad about this as I am?" James asked. Sirius simply raised his eyebrows, his face wiped clean of emotions.

"Are you calling me a traitor?"

"No," James said. "Just wondering."

"Well it's because I know exactly how she feels."

"We are not doing this again, Sirius," James said, shaking his head.

"I will until you understand. James you're living in a world of black and white, but that's not how it works. Just for a moment, take a glimpse at the real world in it's glorious shades of gray and red," Sirius said.

"Red?"

"Blood, James. Blood alone moves the wheels of history. You should know that by now." Sirius said harshly. "I killed that woman in there, James. That Death Eater, I killed her. Me! I used an Unforgivable. I broke Rule 18. So if you can't forgive Lily for her words, than I don't know how you'll be able to forgive me."

"You killed someone?" James said quietly. Everything in his mind was rushing and swirling like how it felt when the ocean tugged you under and you weren't sure if you were going to be able to ever breathe again.

"I did." He didn't even sound sorry.

"Did you have a choice?" James had to make sense of it. "Was she going to kill you?"

"Would that make it okay in your books? Because if you can justify murder, than you can justify Lily Evans of all people lying. She lied to Voldemort. Straight to his face. That's admirable, not punishable. And if it really matters that much to you" Sirius said shaking his head, "I did have a choice. I didn't have to kill Willow Selwyn, but I did it anyways. And if you want to know why, than ask Lily."

Another wave crashed against him.

Drowning.

Drowned.

* * *

"Hey Sirius?"

"What do you want?" Sirius demanded. Hours had past since their argument. Under normal circumstances James wouldn't have gone to smooth things over with Sirius for a long time. Both boys were stubborn, but Sirius was incredibly so. The thing now was, James had remembered something. Something that he was ashamed of. Ashamed and scared and confused.

"Where's Jonathan?"

**AN: Please review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

~Lily~

Dumbledore came to visit her parents at the hospital. Looking back on it, Lily figured Dumbledore wanted to talk to her. He wanted information. Dumbledore never did anything without an ulterior motive. Lily was beginning to understand why the boys had a rule against telling Dumbledore things. She definitely kept that rule in mind.

"Oh Miss Evans," Dumbledore had called out to her. His voice was like a violin being played too softly, a wave lapping the shore too gently. In that way, you knew it had the power to knock you off your feet, but at the moment was calm. Lily felt like his voice boasted power more than his words ever would.

"Hello, sir. What are you doing here?" she asked him.

"Mr. Black made sure to pass on your note regarding your absence."

"I'm sorry about missing classes. Especially with the holidays approaching so quickly." She didn't want to have to explain herself. She didn't want to have to relive it. It could've been much more traumatic, she knew that much. She hadn't really lost anything, except her boyfriend and her ability to protect her parents.

"It matters not, my dear. Knowing you, you already are several chapters ahead of the rest of your class," Dumbledore said with twinkling eyes. It was funny how intimidating his eyes were when they twinkled. They sat behind half-moon glasses and above a crooked nose. It shouldn't have been intimidating, but it was. Since when was kindness intimidating?

Maybe when Lily started having things to hide. Was this how the Marauders felt?

"I do my best."

"And no one will ever doubt that," Dumbledore said. "How are your parents, may I ask? And why are they in a wizarding hospital?"

"They're well. Well as can be expected when one is poisoned," Lily told him. Bare minimum, she told herself, just the bare minimum.

"They were poisoned?" he said in a way that made her suspect it wasn't a question at all.

"Yes."

"What poison?"

"I don't know. I wish I did, but it doesn't have an antidote," she said. She stared him directly in his pale blue all-knowing eyes as a realization overcame him.

"I am sorry, Miss Evans. You shouldn't have to deal with that. I presume," he began, "they were poisoned by a witch or wizard?"

"Indeed." She knew it was rude to be as short as she was being with her Headmaster, but she couldn't quite find it within herself to care. She was hanging on by a thread here. Awake for too long. Worrying for too long. That was the thing. The more alone, the more silent things were the longer you had to worry. And her life had never been quieter. Kidnapping, poisoning, espionage, murder, breaking up with her boyfriend. All of it had come and gone so quickly it had felt like a dream. And when she woke up it was all silent and she was all alone.

"How did you come to realize they were poisoned? And when did you leave the castle? Despite the circumstances and your position, I'm afraid I can't have you up and running about. Not in these times."

As he awaited her answer James' words overplayed in her mind. _Never tell Dumbledore_. An action so simple, yet she couldn't just say nothing. She needed to lie. She smiled as lying was something she excelled at.

"Sir, I cannot be sure as I wasn't there, but I received a note. So naturally, I grabbed a broom and set off to find my parents. And eventually, I did, but they're sick and I really should attend to them," Lily said. It was an easy enough story to stick to. Not all that far from the truth and it would keep James and Sirius out of it. That was what was important.

"Of course, Miss Evans. Do take your time. I'll speak with you when you return to Hogwarts." His smile was false. Mere politeness was all that was present on his lips. His eyes betrayed his calculating coldness. His disbelief at her words. So perhaps she hadn't sold her lie, but all she needed was time and it bought her that much.

* * *

"Lils?" She'd know that voice anywhere.

"Marlene!" she exclaimed. They hugged and hugged, as Lily's parents watched from their hospital beds. "Marls you remember my parents, right?"

"Of course. It's great to see you both!"

"It'd be even better under other circumstances," her mum said. They all laughed.

"Once this is all over I'll come over for a cuppa, I swear," Marlene promised. Marlene reminded Lily of her mother. The same long blond hair and soft eyes and ferocious ability to care.

"I'm holding you to that," her mother replied, smiling.

"I am a woman of my word, after all," Marlene said. "How are you both feeling anyways? You seem well?"

"Let me tell you, I do not recommend being poisoned. Nasty stuff, I'll say."

"Poison!?"

"Mmhmm," her mother said peering at her fingernails. Ignoring Marlene's shock she turned to Lily. "They truly ought to have some form of a magical manicure, am I wrong? This is insane, my nails are chipping. Chipping, I say!"

Lily and her father laughed as Marlene was still processing everything.

"Poisoned?" Marlene turned to Lily. "Who the bloody hell poisoned them?"

"Who do you think, Marls?"

"Death Eaters, but- but why? And where? And how?"

"I'll tell you later," Lily said shooting Marlene an informative smile. Her parents still weren't filled in on everything that happened and are happening in the Wizarding World and Lily would like them to be on a need-to-know basis. Her parents didn't seem to mind even though they were kidnapped and poisoned, but Lily didn't question it.

"What's the meaning of this manicure?" Marlene asked, masterfully switching the topic. And Marlene had only met her parents a handful of times, but Mrs. Evans was the type of person that was not shy. She would not hide her personality nor hesitate in her hospitality. Marlene knew exactly what would get her talking and talk she did. Lily ended up summoning nail polish for her mother to demonstrate with. Marlene was fascinated.

"Miss Evans?" a healer poked their head through the door.

"Yes?" She shot up to go meet her in the hall. If there was news than she would take the news privately. Being the only witch in the family, Lily was told everything before her parents.

"You have some visitors out in the lobby. You really ought not to have more than two and there are quite a few boys out there and you've already got one witch in there..."

"I'll go meet them there, thank you." The woman nodded and headed away.

Lily felt her chest tighten as she made her way downstairs. 'Quite a few boys'. Who else could it possibly be? They were here and Lily wasn't sure she wanted to see them. As far as she knew James would want nothing to do with her and her traitorous ways. But they were her 'quite a few boys' and despite her conflicting, she would never deny them. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had just rooted their way into her heart one day without telling her. And they couldn't leave now. She was stuck with them as long as they stayed with her. She wouldn't know what to do if they left no matter how mad she was at them.

"Lily." She bit her lip. There he was. Standing there with that anxious look in his eyes. Looking handsomer than any ex-boyfriend had any right to be. He was running a hand through his hair, staring into her eyes. She desperately hoped her face betrayed no emotion. Sirius was there beside him. That neutral brooding look to him. He nodded at her and she nearly unraveled. Remus was sitting across the room, putting down the biker magazine he had picked up. Peter was behind James, standing in his shadows. His features looking sharper and more hollow than ever.

"Hello." She felt like she was choking. She couldn't look at him. She wouldn't. She'd cry and she just could not cry right now. Not with this much to cry about.

"Lily," James repeated, "I'm-"

"James," Sirius warned. His voice seemed almost gravelly. He walked up to Lily, not hesitating as he circled his arms around her waist. She pulled him close and squeezed her eyes shut. Whispering in her ear, he said, "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

"It's okay."

"I tried to tell him not to come."

"It's okay," she said again. It really was. She couldn't just ignore him forever. He hated her now. Perhaps he wanted friendship. Perhaps that is all they were ever destined to be. She hated to think about it because they had overcome so much. But maybe it was true.

"How are your parents?" Sirius pulled away as he said it.

"Not dead. Not really living either."

"Are any of us?"

"I suppose not. Impending doom tends to do that to a person," Lily admitted. She didn't like to think about the temporariness of the antidote Severus administered, but she couldn't help it.

"I reckon so."

"Marlene is with them now," Lily said. "How are things with you and her?"

"We tolerate each other now. I daresay friendship is on the horizon," he said with a soft hint of a smile.

"Really?"

"Impending doom tends to do that to a person," he said to her and she smiled.

"I guess hope and doom are intertwined."

"I guess."

"So why are you really here," Lily asked. Something wasn't right. She could just tell. Sirius glanced back at the other three boys and frowned. She knew he wouldn't lie to her.

"Someone's missing," he said quietly.

No. This was not what she needed right now. How could they-

"Who?" People ran through her mind. Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, Marlene, and her parents were all here with her. There were others she cared about, obviously, but she didn't know who it was.

"Jonathon. Jonathon Blake."

Lily's mouth dropped. Sirius grabbed her hand and she squeezed it tightly.

"What happened? How long has it been?" she demanded. She hadn't known the American long, but she cared for him. He was her friend. He was someone who cared about her. She wasn't ready to lose him.

"When you and I left after Snape and Regulus, Jonathon must've seen us go. He went and got James and they both took off after us. James said Jonathon knew where they were taking us because they couldn't see us flying. James said he was acting weird and saying weird things, but seemed to genuinely want to save us. He knew something about our 'disappearance' before it even happened."

"I didn't tell him, if that's what you're implying," Lily snapped. She wasn't sure if she was snapping at Sirius or at James who had moved closer to listen.

"That's not what I'm saying. James got the impression that he may have been leading James into a trap or something. He thought maybe Jonathon was working with Voldemort."

"Well you're wrong," Lily said to James. She felt her face turning red. "He wasn't like that. He barely knew anything of Voldemort. He's from America, remember?"

"It could be a cover story, though. Who knows if he actually is a Death Eater, or maybe Voldemort recruited him. People lie, Lily," James said.

"Yeah," she agreed bitterly, "people do lie, but he wouldn't have lied. Not to me."

James took a step back, the poison in her words hit their mark.

"The point is we don't know. I don't want to fight with you. Can we just put it behind us for now and fix this?" James begged. She wasn't tempted to say yes in the slightest.

"The point is, he led you to find me. It doesn't matter how he knew. He just wanted someone who supposedly cared about me to try and help me. Maybe he was wrong on that front, but so was I."

"Okay," Remus said, breaking her unforgiving eye contact with James. "We're going to find him, okay? He was the one who hid your parents. And I can only assume that he hid them well, as no one got to them before you did. So let's give him the benefit of the doubt."

Lily didn't even bother shooting James a glare. She was too tired. Sirius seemed to notice this as he ushered her into a chair. She wanted to say she was fine, but she wasn't. She was too tired. She wanted to cry. She wanted to shout and yell. She wanted someone to blame for her life splintering into little pieces. She was too tired.

"Hey, Tiger Lily?" Sirius said.

"Yeah?"

"Come with us back to my apartment. We have a lot to do."

"I can't, Sirius. My parents are here," Lily said. "And soon they may not be."

"Have you slept," he asked, "at all?"

"I've slept some. Just a few naps here and there. I'm fine. Just a little tired." Lies upon lies. They knew it too, but they didn't say a word.

"So how do we find him?" Peter asked.

"We have a few options," Lily said, even though Peter was looking directly at James and Sirius. "We could report his disappearance to the Auror department. But that wouldn't get very far. People are disappearing left and right. We could write to him. Perhaps he has been kidnapped or perhaps he has just taken off on an abrupt vacation. But if the owl finds him than he is alive. Finally, we could start by researching him. Fine his family ties. Find where he might hideout if he was being chased. Find out if he would've been wanted by the Death Eaters."

Sirius shared a smile with Lily. 'Something more' echoed in her head. She didn't think there was anything special about her, but he seemed to think so. She just wanted to help.

"You stay here, Lily. Perhaps take up the letter idea, but don't use your own owl in case it's traced. And we'll start researching," Remus told them all. There was no room for discussion in his voice.

"Lily," James said, his voice so soft, so sweet. "Can we talk?"

"What is there to say?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know. I just- I don't understand why? Why?"

"Why what, James? Why did I not have a death wish? Why did I go back to save my parents from dying? Or was it why did I not need you to try and be a hero? Why what, James?"

"I don't know. Just tell me what happened. No one's telling me anything! Just why did this happen? Why did you pledge yourself to Him? Why didn't you tell me this was happening? Why don't I know you anymore?" He sounded so broken. Shattered. Destroyed. Empty. She would've felt sorry if he hadn't been the cause of the wedge between them.

"I can't do this right now. I don't owe this to you anymore. The only reason you don't know me anymore is because you refuse to. Nothing's changed, James. Maybe I don't know you anymore," she said. She stood up and began to head to the door, leaving the Marauders behind her. She heard one of the boys say five words, "What happened to Rule 13?"

~James~ Cracks in the Foundation

The Marauders were researching Jonathon that day, but James just couldn't get his head into it. He messed up a lot in the past. He knew that. But everyone messed up. Sirius has messed up. Lily has messed up. Remus has messed up. Peter has messed up. And James had always forgiven them. He had given his friends everything he had. He'd give them the world if he could. And most of the time they didn't want the world, so all he could do was be there. So he forgave them always. So why did it always feel like no one would ever forgive him for his mistakes? Maybe they simply didn't need him like he needed them. The thing was, James didn't even make a mistake! He wasn't in the wrong here, despite what everyone else thought. His girlfriend was pledging herself to the Dark Lord which is enough to make any sane person mad. So yes, he broke up with her on the spot. No one was telling him what happened, and if there was some logical explanation than they should've told him. So he based his actions on the information he had. No one could blame him for that. If they wanted a different reaction then they should start talking, because he was done being the one to fix everything. It hurt him. Being broken up from Lily hurt so badly, but he wouldn't be taken advantage of. Not with this.

"Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's the letter from?" James asked. His friend's face had paled over the parchment.

"Oh, it's just a family thing. Not a big deal," Remus said. He tucked the parchment in his back pocket and started to work again. "Find anything in the American family history book?"

"There are no signs of any Blake's of any kind," James said. Something was off about Jonathon. Lily seemed insistent that he wasn't a Death Eater, but he was definitely a liar. Perhaps not quite as heinous, but not trustworthy.

"Alright. I'm going to head out for a walk. Clear my head and all. Want anything from the Kitchens?" Remus asked.

"I'll take a Treacle Tart if it's not too much trouble," he said. "With extra crumb, please."

"How about you, Peter?" Remus asked. Peter quickly shook his head and flipped through whatever book he was reading.

"I've never known you to turn down a Treacle Tart before," James teased.

"Not hungry," Peter shrugged.

"I'll be back," Remus said. James waited a moment or two and began to search for the Marauder's Map. James was a bad liar, but Remus was even worse. James didn't know who he was meeting, but he intended on finding out. Especially after Peter had just been meeting up with Rosier. He didn't know when things changed in their friend group, but he didn't like it. Secrets were being kept and they were fighting right and left.

"Ah-ha." He uncovered the map beneath his clothes in his trunk. He unfolded it and waited. Remus was in fact on his way to the Kitchens, but so was someone else. Snape.

"Hey Wormy?" James said. "Know where my Invisibility Cloak is?"

"Haven't seen it." James nearly tore the room apart looking for it. He tried to Accio it, but it didn't work. He figured Sirius had it. Sirius wasn't mad at him, just disappointed. Over the years his parents had pulled the 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' card, but when a friend pulls it it hurts so much worse.

"I'll be back." James grabbed his wand and slipped out the door.

"What do you want, Snape?" James heard Remus say.

"The potion. I need your notes for it." Snape's voice was gruff and he wasn't asking.

"Why? What are you planning?"

"I need to fix it. I need to perfect it," Snape said almost desperately.

"Why? The deadline isn't for months. We're far above where we are supposed to be," Remus said cautiously. Snape made an impatient noise. "If this is something you need for your Death Eater business than you can forget about it, Snape. I won't be a part of whatever you're involved with."

"It's not that, Lupin. I- I need to save someone. Someone who you'd be interested in saving too," Snape snapped. Remus crossed his arms.

"Who? Lily?" Is she okay? Did something else happen that night that they didn't tell us about? Were you there!?" Remus' voice grew in volume. Snape's face darkened.

"Will you shut up!" he hissed. "It's not Lily-"

"Sirius. Did you hurt him?"

"Dammit Lupin, will you be quiet," Snape said again. "It's not Black either. Nor Potter or Pettigrew. No one is in immediate danger. I just want to make sure they won't die yet."

"It's Lily's parents, isn't it. They were poisoned after all. Did you poison them? Did you save them?"

"You ask a lot of questions for someone with so many secrets, Lupin," Snape said. "Can I have the notes or not."

"Fine. But I want to help."

"Absolutely not."

"What are you going to do? Test on yourself? Because you will not be testing on her parents," Remus said.

"Do you have the notes on you?"

"Answer me first."

"Fine you can be there, but you'll stay out of my way. You'll only slow me down," Snape sneered. Remus nodded in agreement. "Meet me at Slughorn's at midnight."

"And are you expecting to not be caught? I'm a Prefect, Snape, I have a reputation to uphold."

"Says the werewolf," Snape hissed under his breath. Remus froze.

"You have no right and if we're going to be working together you're going to need to shut your mouth," Remus said. James was proud of him. There was a time Remus would've been too frightened and intimidated by someone knowing his secret that he would've crumbled. Not now though.

"Fine. Potion Master's at midnight," Snape said before walking away. He turned around just before he rounded the corner. "And Lupin, I've got permission to do this from Slughorn."

James returned to the Common Room. He couldn't talk to anyone then. Why did they all keep secrets? Everyone around him kept things from him. Before everything happened and everyone grew apart, secrets didn't exist between Marauders. He wanted things to return to normal. He wanted Sirius back. He wanted Lily back. He wanted Remus back. He wanted Peter back. He worried about his friends. Incessantly. Hungrily. Sometimes he couldn't sleep. He would lay there anxious and afraid. He worried about his parents and his professors and the world as a whole. It all felt like too much. The world was on his shoulders, but he wasn't strong enough. He never would be.

"Hey Prongs," Remus said as he entered the Common Room. "Here's your Treacle Tart."

The delicious treat had lost its appeal. James hadn't eaten all day, but the sight of the dessert made him want to throw up. He wasn't sick, he was worried.

"Sorry, Remus. I've got to run. Give it to Wormtail," James said. He could hardly look Remus in the eyes. Snape knew more about Lily's situation than he was saying and Remus was going to help him. It may not seem so horrible, but Snape was manipulative. He knew how to twist people to do his bidding. And even if he was being truthful, then Remus should've told James. Told him that Snape had information about Lily. That Snape was involved.

"Where are you going?" the werewolf asked.

"Out." James's voice was neutral. If they were going to keep secrets then they would have secrets kept from them too. James needed to find the Headmaster. He needed permission to go visit Lily. He needed to do this right if he was going to make things right.

"Headmaster!"

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said in greeting.

"Hi," James replied as he caught up to the old man. "I have a favor to ask of you, sir."

"Oh and here I was thinking this was a social visit. Alas..." Dumbledore said with a wink, "what can I do for you,?"

"I was wondering if I could visit Lily at the hospital. I shouldn't be gone long. I just need to talk to her," he said. James desperately wanted Dumbledore to let him go. He was trying to change for Lily. He had been for a long time coming. Following the rules a bit didn't seem like such a hard sacrifice for her love. He even learned to swallow his pride for her, but now he was hoping she would meet him halfway.

"Something that couldn't have been said yesterday? Nor through a letter?"

"Sir, it's important," James insisted and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in that knowing way that his eyes did. James grinned at his Headmaster, he knew that he'd be allowed to go now. That look of Dumbledore's was very telling.

"I'd be back by curfew if I were you, James," Dumbledore warned. "Mr. Filch has been itching to catch someone out of bed. I'm sure you still remember from your days before being Head Boy?"

"Thank you! I'll be back," James said.

"You hurry upstairs. The password is Lemon Drops."

"I'm here to see the Evans'" James told the front desk. The lady looked at him oddly but told him the room anyways. He raced up the stairs to get to their floor. He knocked on the door and he heard a hoarse shout, "Come in!"

James opened the door to see a frail Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Both smiled when they saw him.

"If it isn't James Potter! How've you been?" Mrs. Evans said joyfully. James smiled sadly. Lily hadn't told them that they broke up. Lily was holding everything inside, trying to keep herself together.

"I've been... well. How are you both?"

"Better now that you're here," Mrs. Evans said low. Mr. Evans and James both went silent, unsure of how to react. Mrs. Evans burst out laughing. "That was a joke, dear. You're all Lily's, James."

James swallowed. "Speaking of, where- um- where is Lily?"

"Oh, where was it, Frederick? They don't have post offices, but..."

"Yes, yes, that place they keep their owls?"

"The owlery?" James suggested. He didn't know that the hospital had one, but it made sense. James wondered if Lily was getting a letter from Sirius or perhaps Gregor.

"That's the one."

"Thank you. I'll go find her. Feel better!" James wished. Mrs. Evans was still smiling as he left. The owlery. It had to be easy enough to find. He just needed to find someone to ask about it. In the hallway, he passed someone with lacerations all over their body being hauled into a room. They were still bleeding. They looked so pale. So helpless.

"Oh!"

"I'm sorry," James said. He accidentally ran through a small looking blonde woman.

"James Potter?"

"Alice, no way!" he said in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Visiting."

"Everyone okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. They'll be alright." James didn't want to say Lily's name and he certainly didn't want to say that his ex-girlfriend's muggle parents were in a wizarding hospital. Too many questions would erupt and unavoidable gossip.

"Lovely. How's Hogwarts? Speaking of, aren't you supposed to be in school?" she said with a laugh.

"I suppose, but Prewett, when would you ever know me to follow silly rules like that," he joked. Alice and James's families went way back. They were close in the pureblood community with similar political beliefs.

"Since you became Head Boy. And it's Longbottom, Potter, don't forget it. You never did show up for the wedding anyhow."

"Neither did my parents because we were busy hosting your family's ball because someone decided to choose the most inconvenient date for their wedding," James teased. He hadn't spoken to Alice in what seemed like forever, but he missed her.

"Well then I suppose I can forgive you for that, but not for ramming into me right now. That was awfully rude."

"Well can you blame me? I could hardly see you. Height disparity and all," he said with a shrug.

"You're an arse, Potter. Glad to see you haven't changed."

"Never," he said, "In all seriousness, what are you doing here? Everything alright?"

"Oh yes. Frank's simply an idiot. Tried to impress me by learning how to cook like a muggle. The simpleton nearly set the house up in flames. The healer is grabbing him a burn potion," Alice said with a grin, "Now he's got to explain to the Head Auror why we were late to work."

"I'm sure he'll have fun explaining that one. I hear the Auror department is getting a bit uptight over there with everything going on."

"It's a long time coming, I'm afraid. There's word of the Ministry cutting funds to the Magical Law Enforcers so we can train more Aurors. Yet they are simultaneously cutting muggle-borns out of the running. I'm never going to understand politics."

"That's awful."

"Truly. This one real lovely applicant got cut just because of her blood. The girl sounded perfect for the job too. Brilliant grades and impressed the Head Auror too. He was talking about her for weeks. Everyone was baffled when she wasn't at the next training," Alice explained, "You and Lily should apply. I know Lily's muggle-born and all, but if Frank and I vouch... I bet she'll be passed through."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Alice. Honestly, that's really generous, but I imagine that after graduation we'll be busy enough. As will you."

"Without a doubt, but for now I have to go find my moron of a husband. I hope he isn't trying to schmooze the medi-wizards and witches into thinking he's actually hurt. But, James, don't be afraid to owl us or pop by the office sometime."

"Yeah, I'll definitely come see you both some time." But he knew they wouldn't. And if they did it certainly wouldn't be a social visit. James shook his head and continued down the hallway. He'd find that damned Owlery on his own.

But, in the end, it turned out that he didn't need to find the Owlery. By the time he would've found it, Lily would've been long gone anyways. It turned out he just needed to be in the right place at the right time. Or the wrong place at the wrong time, depending on your point of view.

"What are you doing here, James?" she asked. She had seen him.

"I needed to talk to you."

"Okay." Okay. Her voice was so hollow.

"I saw your parents. They seemed well," he said awkwardly. When were things so awkward between them?

"Doctors called it a miracle."

"I'm glad. They told me you went to the Owlery," James said. Lily glanced behind him.

"So you decided to visit the Potion's Storage Room?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Well, I may have not known where exactly the Owlery was so I decided to try and find it myself."

"You could've asked for directions, you know." There was a time when her voice would've sounded teasing when she said that. Playfully berating his stubbornness, but it was simply empty words.

"Right, so could we go somewhere a bit quieter?"

"Sure," she said. She looked into his eyes a bit deeper. "I suppose I'll lead the way since you aren't quite sure where you're going."

Was that sarcasm? He opened his mouth to reply, but Lily wasn't waiting for him it seemed.

"In here."

"Lily, you need to tell me exactly what happened that night. I was blinded by anger but think about it from my point of view. I know you're not a traitor, but it sure seemed like it then. So, please, just tell me what happened so we can figure this out."

"I understand that you felt betrayed. I understand that it looked bad. I get that. I really do, but that's why I didn't tell you that that was happening in the first place. I knew that if things went sideways and I had to improvise that you wouldn't understand. So I get that you were upset, and rightfully so, but you didn't give me a chance to explain. My parents were dying, James. Sirius and I were chained to the wall in that basement. The last thing I needed that night was for our relationship to falter. I needed you to trust me," Lily said.

"You wanted me to trust you, but you didn't trust me either. Trust goes both ways. You didn't explain it to me and I'm sorry, but I saw you pledging yourself to that demon of a man. What was I supposed to think?"

"I don't know, James. You could've just waited. Waited for my parents to be safe. Waited for me to take a minute to clear my head. To be ready to explain it to you. I was scared out of my bloody mind that night. I needed you, but you _left_ me."

"I _came_ for you. In the middle of the night on the word of a kid that I hardly knew and hardly trusted. I thought he was a Death Eater for Merlin's sake, but I couldn't take the chance that he wasn't lying, so I followed him. I didn't leave. I tried to duel You-Know-Who, which is nearly suicide because I just wanted to save you. You can't blame me for not understanding when no one told me anything," James said. He didn't want to play the blame game with her here. He just wanted her to talk to him. Communicate.

"But you didn't try to understand, James, you assumed and it changed everything," she said, "but I don't blame you. We can't change the past. I was upset at you and you were upset at me. But I'm too tired to argue, so let me explain."

And so she did. From the mysterious letter to finding her parents in the woods, miraculously alive.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Lily." He was sorry. He was also sorry that she felt like she couldn't trust him with this. But in the end, it made sense. She was protecting him, which was nice.

"It's alright."

"So what now?"

"I don't know," Lily said at last. James looked at her. Really, truly looked at her for the first time in a while. She was so tired. Her beautiful red hair was unkempt, hurriedly pulled up into a bun. Her clothes wrinkled and She was trying to do everything on her own here and she needed help, but this was Lily. She wasn't about to ask for help.

"What can I do?" he asked. "I want to help."

"Find Jonathon. I don't know how he found out what happened and I don't know where he went, but I need to know he's okay," Lily said.

"But, Lil, he could be dangerous. He could be on the other side."

"Yeah, well just because someone's on the other side of us, doesn't mean they are a bad person. It doesn't mean I'll just stop caring," she said quietly. She fiddled with the small package in her hand. James hadn't noticed that before. He wondered if she was thinking of Snape.

"We just need to tread carefully. When someone on the other side helps you when no one can see them, it isn't the same as helping when the whole world is watching," James said.

"Perhaps it's not the same, but it shows personal loyalty. It shows what really matters to them in the end."

"How loyal are you really to someone if the only support you give them is when no one's looking?" James asked. He had a feeling they weren't talking about Jonathon Blake any longer.

"I guess that's the difference between you and I," Lily said.

James swallowed hard. He knew he had to tread carefully here. Their relationship laid in shambles around them. Slowly healing, slowly piecing itself back together by sheer will. He didn't know what to say, but she was looking at him curiously, waiting for a response.

"And perhaps," he began, "that's why we are so good together. We balance each other out."

When she smiled at him, he knew he said the right thing and he smiled too.

"Perhaps." she echoed, "I've missed you, James. As much as you hurt me, I don't think I can stop missing you."

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Yes you did, but it's okay. I hurt you too and I'm sorry."

"Do you think we can get past this?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, but I'm willing to fail trying," Lily said grinning. To 'fail trying', he thought, was better than nothing. He didn't know if she meant as more than friends or not, but he really hoped they would be okay.

Laughing he opened his arms to her. "So am I."

She leaned into the hug. "I need to go back to my parents now. You're free to come with."

"It'd be my pleasure." James offered his arm out to her like the chivalrous Gryffindor he did his best to be.


End file.
